Staying Home Alone - San Antonio,TX

For short times, 9 or 10 (or possibly as young as 8 if there is a older sibling as well). For longer times, 12. I started babysitting around 11 or 12 so that seems like a perfectly reasonable age to no longer need a sitter.

Depends on laws. I was also 8 when I became a latch key kid. My 8 year old will stay home alone now for brief time periods. In my state no one under the age of 7 may stay home alone. The recommendation is 9. But 8 isn't unlawful.

My daughter is 9 and we have just recently started to leave her home alone for just a few minutes at a time. Once she didn't want to go on a walk around the neighborhood with me, my husband and 6 year old son. We left my phone with her and locked all the doors. We also tested her to see if she would answer the door (she passed). So we have just done little things like that. No longer than about 30 minutes. She wants to take the baby sitting class through the city when she is 11. If I'm only going to be about 15-20 minutes she does fine. If I am any longer, then I bring her with me.

I think it's great that you're already thinking about this. :-)

You're going to get a lot of knee-jerk responses here. "___ is too young!"

But the fact is, if you've been raising your child to eventually be an adult instead of as if they're going to stay a child, you're going to be able to leave them alone for short periods of time, even at age 6. If the response is "I could never leave my child at home alone!" There's something missing in your parenting philosophy.

Nervy Girl outlines the process very well. It's all about gauging your child's maturity and guiding them toward independence.

At 6, I no longer had to put my boys in their bedroom and lock the door in order to take a shower like I did when they were 3 and 4 (I was a single parent). They had matured enough to be able to sit and watch a cartoon and stay out of the knife drawer. I could also go get the mail without them. And take the trash to the curb. And take a nice long #2 without worrying about what they were getting into. Because they knew the rules in the house.

Like Nervy, I started letting them stay home while I went for a 15 minute run. At about age 7. They did great, and I ensured they knew what to do in an emergency. Otherwise, the rules at first were, no cooking, no going outside, no opening the door.

After that it was about building up their independence. I could go to the corner store for milk or catfood. After a while of 30 minute trips, I added time. At 8 and 9 I could leave them home to go to the grocery store or to grab coffee with a friend.

Children are only as able as we teach them to be. If we teach our kids that they are incapable by not allowing them to gain independence....they will be incapable. My boys were cooking on the stove at age 8 with no assistance and minimal supervision. They are now 11 and 13 and can be trusted to do pretty much anything without supervision without a second thought.

I'm in the 'there really is no set age' category. For me, privileges of independence--are just that: privileges, as in this is something one earns.

Our son is newly seven. We have recently allowed him the *privilege* of not going on an evening walk around the block with us on days that we have seen good judgment, cooperation and responsibility on his part. If we haven't, he doesn't get a choice. The neighborhood walk is a great way for us to practice him being alone. We have taught him how to use the phone, we put my cell number in so all he has to do is press 'redial' and we set a timer for about 7-10 minutes because he has to wait that long to call us. (He really likes to practice using the phone, and I want to encourage that.)

This, along with going around the block alone on bike rides, is how we are helping him enjoy a sense of independence and competence while still being close enough that we are available if he feels something is wrong. From a distance, he doesn't feel 'observed' and I can see if he's being just as careful as he is when I'm around.

I say, go with the level of responsibility you regularly see and gauge it from there. Start with small outings, like a short walk, and see what happens. Some kids are very trustworthy and some can get pretty curious when the parents are gone, so it's good to be close, in my opinion, for a while, until you see what their level of ability is. It's going to be quite a long time before I deliberately and formally leave Kiddo home alone to his own devices; I'm just not seeing that level of responsibility and self-regulation at this time. I remember being 9 or so and getting into the sugar bowl when we were home alone, so I know some things are going to be inevitable :) , but we aren't there yet.

To tell you the truth. It depends on the child.

If they are kids that follow directions and rules really well, I think the average fourth grader could stay home alone while someone goes to the grocery store.

This is one of those things you have to do in baby steps. Heck I know parents that if they are working out in their own YARD will not allow their kids to stay in the house alone.

.. And parents that will go next door to a neighbors to drop something off and will make their children go with them, because they do not think their child could handle 20 minutes in the house without them right down the street.

I was a latch key kid starting in 3rd grade. I never broke the rules or got into trouble. That is just not the type of child I was. I would call my mom at work when I arrived home. About 3 hours later she would arrive home with my baby sister and start dinner. In 4th and 5th grade I would "start".. dinner

I leave my 8 and 9.5 year olds for 5-10 min while I walk our dog in circles but I'm pretty much in ear shot the whole time and we have lots of close neighbors. I am considering when my oldest is 10 maybe I will run to the store which is 5 min away. Part of my consideration too is what they're doing at that time. I wouldn't leave them when they're a little bored and therefore might be more apt to pick something up they shouldn't and get into trouble. If they're watching tv, they are so hypnotized I wouldn't worry as much. Or if they were engrossed in making bracelets for instance. We also have a big dog and live near a fire station. I would call once too to check in. So I'd say 10 is the youngest for 30 min and even that makes me a bit nervous. I agree with the poster who said distance is a bigger deal than time too. I'm sure I've been next door or a couple of houses down chatting for 30 min several times as our houses are so close it's an easy run for my kids to come grab me if needed.

At 6 yrs old, I'd say no. Even if it's just for 30 minutes, you never know what might happen (car accident, for example). At 10, I'd say possibly, depending on the child and how responsible they are (I did start leaving my kids for 30 minutes at a time at 10yrs old).

My kids are now 16, 13 and 11 and I routinely leave them at home for any length of time (not overnight, though). Even the 11yr old is fully capable of being home alone for several hours at a time. You cannot imagine the freedom I felt the first time I said "Kids, your dad and I are having date night tonight. There's a pizza on the counter and you have our cell numbers if you need us. See you later!" It was glorious!

It depends on the child. Growing up, my mom left me alone with my younger sister (4.5 years younger) while she went grocery shopping or when she needed to run errands. I was around the 2nd grade.

But you will be shocked that on one occasion, she left me to go grocery shopping while I was taking a nap and I was only 3! I think she thought that she wouldn't be gone long and I would sleep through it. Obviously, I can't remember it since I was only 3, but apparently, I called my grandma to report that my mom was gone and she had to reassure me that my mom would return soon. Can't believe she did that to me!

I was 8 1/2 when I became a latchkey kid. I'd come home and wait for my mom to get home for about an hour and a half. The following year, when I was 9, I would have dinner made when she got home. :)
My 7 yo is pretty responsible, so I might start leaving him for a few minutes in another year or so. I have great retired neighbors that are watching over our house all day, so that would factor into my decision also. A quick call to keep an eye on things, and they are all over it.

I didn't start leaving my kids at home alone for short errands until the older was nine (the younger was six). I often left them in the house alone before that while I visited the neighbour or did outdoor yard work, and that is how I could tell they were ready to be left for a longer stretch. Anything more than half and hour I would leave the older one home and take the younger one with me. The older one is ready to start babysitting now (almost 12), so I will be able to leave them for longer stretches together. The older one has taken the babysitting course, and they both have taken a home alone class.

I have not left my kids alone (they are young). A friend of mine mentioned she left her 9 year old home while they went someplace walking distance.

Her boy seems very mature and moody (he refused to go with the family for younger sibling's outing).

She didnt tell me the timeframe, but I am guessing an hour (walking time included).

He knows 2 neighbors, has a big dog and all the houses are close together (not sure if this made them feel safer).

We started for short periods (30-45 minutes) when our kids were about 9. FYI, your county will have guidelines that you can look up online. In our county, no child under the age of 7 is supposed to be left home alone for any length of time. The recommended time increments increase with age. There are also guidelines about what age a child can be left in charge of younger children.

Bianca,

What's your state law?

When did I start leaving my kids home alone? When they were 8.

They are now 14 and 11 - they've stayed home for 6 hours so far and made their own dinner (put a pizza in the oven) and cleaned up.

At the age of 6 I wouldn't leave 'em home alone. Not enough maturity, in my opinion to make decisions.

Not before about 10 years. And then it is heavily dependent upon why, where, how long, who else is on the premises (or might reasonably expected to show up while you are away), where you live, etc... all in addition to the maturity and responsibility levels of the individual child. AND, when beginning to do this in small time increments, you don't leave them in charge of other children (i.e., younger siblings).

Most kids are ready at about 12 or 13.

Things are so different now days. I was left to taking care of little brothers and sisters at age eight and did fine. But most parents wouldn't dream of it now days. I wouldn't do it either.

I left my nine year old to watch the little ones sometimes for a short time and I wasn't far away. For instance if I went out to hang clothes or I went next door. And I'd wait till the opportunity was right setting, like the little one taking a nap and the other playing quietly.

Our daughter turned 10 last June and we let her stay home WITH her 8 year old brother, but never alone. The 8 year old we never left alone, and only with his sister for no more than 2-3 hours, per Maryland law.

The 10 year old stays home on occassion by herself now (if she isn't feeling 100% but not really fully sick, or doesn't want to go to a baseball practice), but 90% of the time all 3 kids are with us.

We have a good security system with camera's, and we do check on them when they are alone. They also have FaceTime on their iPads and cell phones to call us. I work 10 minutes away...so it's a quick trip for me to get home if they need me. I wouldn't leave my 7 year old home alone though for a while...

I think it's has to do a lot with the child's maturity, but I DO think 6 is too young. I started leaving my daughter alone for 5-10 minute stretches at 8. She's almost 10 now (5/30), and stays alone for an hour while I'm at the grocery store, which is 5 minutes away. For me it's more about distance than time. Plus, we have a dog so they "watch" each other and she has an iPad and can text or face time me.

My oldest daughter and I were just having this conversation a couple weeks ago. I went back to work when my oldest two were 9 and 7 yrs old. They would get off the school bus and let themselves into the house where they would stay for 15 minutes until I arrived home after picking up my 2 yr old twins. If there was a problem there were 2 neighbors across the street and a set of grandparents 5 minutes away.

My daughter lives in a spread out community so there aren't any neighbors close by. Travel time anywhere is 20 minutes so with any errand it's about 1 hr of time the kids would be alone. While she trusts them to stay inside and follow the rules she knows that there's not a safety net if something happens so the kids always go with her.

My daughter is a very mature 11, and she is allowed to stay home alone while I run to the grocery store (during the daylight hours). I wouldn't want to leave her alone for hours, but she would probably be absolutely fine if I did.

At age 9 (this year) I have started letting my son be home alone for 30 minutes. He is instructed not to open the door if there is a knock and no friends can come over. He does this once a week (He is 10 now) when my daughter and I get home a little later than him. He is happy to play video games and so far there has been no problem.

Six is too young.
I let my daughter stay home alone from the time she got home from school until. I got home from work (about an hour and a half) when she was twelve.

my kids were pretty dependable and not prone to panic or act out, so i could leave them briefly from about 8 on. not for half an hour, but a few minutes here and there. by 11 or 12 they were fine if i had to run to the grocery store or something.
khairete
S.

I think that you are the only one that knows your child well enough to know if he can manage staying home alone for a few minutes.

I would never leave the kids home alone without a neighbor knowing I'm running an errand and that if I'm not home within a certain amount of time to please check on kiddo.

Wrecks happen, abductions happen, getting stopped by an officer who's having a bad day happens. You need to have a back up plan "just in case".

Home alone training can start at any age. That's why some states do not have any laws regarding this. Just because a state says they can stay along at age 8 for 30 minutes do NOT by any means automatically mean you have to do it either...

I got bamboozled into leaving my 8 or 9 year old daughter alone for about 15 minutes while a friend ran me to the grocery store about 2 blocks away, I routinely rode my bike and carried stuff back in my wire carriers, it was that close.

While I was gone I heard sirens at the store. I rushed back home, I knew something happened at my house. My daughter had taken dried grass, put it in a pot, set it on fire so she could cook me a hamburger, and as it blew out of the pot it set the grass on fire in the back yard of the apartment complex.

You can know without a doubt she was never left home alone again until she was older.

I knew she wasn't old enough mentally to stay home alone. My girl now, at 10 is absolutely mature enough to stay home alone for a while, maybe even an hour. BUT I have neighbors who know I'm running errands and she knows if she's scared, worried, or anything else she can call them or go to their house without any problems at all.

If YOU think your child is old enough to stay home alone then start training him to do so.

Start with going outside and letting them stay in the house alone. Go to the neighbors house for a cup of coffee. Go do some gardening. Mow the lawn. Stay out of the house for an extended amount of time. Let him feel what the empty house feels like, what it sounds like, does he know what the AC unit sounds like when it clicks off and on? Does he know what to do if the phone rings? If someone comes to the door and is pounding on it? What if his best friend from down the street comes over, is he allowed in the house? Can he talk to his friends on the phone if he calls them?

You have to think about reasonable rules and decide what's allowed or not.

Sometimes having a friend over is good and sometimes it's too distracting and the other rules go out the door.

My oldest is 10 and I have never left him home alone. He has started asking when he can though.

We did not leave our daughter alone until she was nearly 11 and now she's 13; but at 11 and 12 we still didn't leave her for more than 30 minutes to maybe 90 minues. Now, I'd be OK leaving her for several hours. In your position, when she was six, I would have made her come with me just as you did with your son.

You are in Texas which has no state law regarding the age for leaving a child alone, but in some states there are such laws, and in other states there are no laws but the state government issues recommendations about ages. Usually those recommendations are that children should not be left alone if they are younger than 8 to 12 -- depending on the state. Illinois state law says a child must be 14 to be left home alone. (This is according to imom.com.) And cities and other jurisdictions can have their own "left alone" age laws and regulations.

Here's why I would not leave a child younger than about 10 to 14 alone. depending on the child and the area where you live: My child, by the time I was OK leaving her for a few minutes, knew more than how to dial 911. She also knew how to unlock all the doors and get out if needed (not easy in every house!); how and where to cut off the main water supply if a toilet overflows etc.; what not to say if she answers the phone (kids should be taught not to reveal they are home alone and not to give out any information, IF they answer the phone alone); and so on. I figure it's probably much harder for a younger kid, whatever mom and dad instruct them to do, to resist talking to someone who calls, or to resist peeking out the door (and possibly being seen by a stranger at the door) if someone rings the bell, etc.

Our son?
No WAY did he ever want to be home alone - he always had to be with someone (usually me).
It was years before he even wanted to be alone in a room - he'd follow me from room to room.
He was about 11 yrs old when I could run an errand and he'd be ok at home (but I've known some 11 yr olds (even teens) I'd never leave on their own else they'd burn the house down around them.
It varies greatly from kid to kid - some are just more mature than others.
A 6 yr old shouldn't be home alone.
They are too young to deal with any emergency that might come up.
You get a baby sitter or you take them with you.

Not at 6! (Not that you would.)
I'd think 10-12 for short times, an hour here and there...

I'd think you're kids are exceptionally mature, if at 5 and 6, they know anything about "home safety"!

my kids are 9 & 7 and i still dont leave them alone even to run to the store. It would be nice though

I started leaving mine around age 12. My daughter was around 15. I would check of course and come home for lunch when I could during the summer months. I teach school so it was convenient when I had workshops, ect.

I remember being 10 when my parents left me to go run errands.

We didn't start that till they were 12.

My kids were about 11 when I started leaving them home for 20-30 minutes, occasionally an hour at most with 1-2 phone calls from me.

First of all, I think a lot of it depends on the child, their level of responsibility and availability of neighbors in case of emergency.

In GA the law is kids can stay home alone at 9 for short periods of time and can start babysitting at 11.

My oldest is 10 and has yet to stay home alone because i don't see the need to leave him if I am dragging the other 3 along with me.

I don't think many laws do state the age they can be home alone. I will have to check, but I think there is a law at what age a child can be left alone in the car here in NV.

I think it is important that a child knows their safety measures, reacts to situations well, doesn't panic, and knows not to be persuaded by adults.

I started leaving my daughter home for short periods of time when she was 10. She will be 12 in a couple weeks, and I recently began leaving her with my 2 year old if he is asleep while I take my son to or from school (1.2 miles away) Occasionally, I leave my 5 year old with her when I take a walk with the baby. She is a very responsible child and could be trusted with the younger two when I go out, but I am afraid that something could delay me getting home (accident or car not starting). I don't think I will start leaving my younger ones with her for quite awhile as my 2 year old is very spirited.