Staying Positive and Focused Till You Move On

Updated on July 11, 2011
P.S. asks from Richardson, TX
4 answers

I'm looking for a new job, as one of my part time jobs is not working out. How do you keep your head up and stay positive in a bad situation? I don't want to keep ruining my Sundays with dread for Mondays. I actually had 2 positive days last week, but couldn't even enjoy that because I was waiting for the hammer to fall the entire time.

I haven't been able to improve things with Boss A - I don't know how to fix it. Because I'm not able to think the way he thinks, he's decided that I'm dense, and he's condescending. Boss B is happy with my work, treats me with respect, etc. I've asked B if we can find a way to work more so that I can leave A (with 1-2 weeks notice as I'm not a jerk)- I only told B that it "wasn't working out" - no specifics, etc.; B (who is friends with A OUTSIDE of work and wasn't aware of how A was in a work setting) told me he's not surprised and doesn't think what A is looking for in an assistant actually exists.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

It's hard to work in a place where you're not happy, but you have to look on the bright side. You only have to put up with Boss A part of the time.
I would really try not focusing on something you can't change for right this minute to the extent it ruins your Sundays or you can't appreciate the positives when they do happen.
I've worked for some pretty crappy bosses, let me tell you, and I just looked at it as biding my time while I worked really hard to get a position somewhere else.
I think it was a good idea to ask Boss B about perhaps giving you more hours, but I agree with Mary that it's not a good idea to talk about one boss to the other. You can say you don't feel fulfilled, you can say you like the natural sunlight in Boss B's office....you can say just about anything, but complaining about a boss isn't usually seen as professional.
I have left jobs because a boss treated me terribly, but when I interviewed for new positions, I never brought that up. I live in a rather small area and most if not all business owners know each other in some capacity and I wanted to portray myself as someone who never burned any bridges even though I left a certain employer. I literally worked for one agency where I learned later that my boss was related to a supervisor who was horrible to me in one of my previous jobs. Thank goodness I never mentioned anything about her as my reason for leaving. I would have been complaining about his sister in law and surely wouldn't have gotten the position.
My point is, just try to keep your personal feelings to yourself when it comes to employers. Many of us have jobs we're not in love with, but if someone asks you why you're looking to leave a certain position, say that you want more of a challenge or you'd prefer more personal contact with clients. I, personally, would rather jump off a bridge than be stuck in a cubicle or stuck at a desk all day long. I don't feel I thrive in a situation like that.
That's not putting down the position, my co-workers, my employer, or even myself.
Just try to keep your chin up. Do the absolute best you can. Stay positive and spend your energy finding another place to work.
Monday morning comes soon enough. Don't spend the rest of the day worrying about how things will go tomorrow before you even get there.
We have employment agencies here that love people who want to work part time and love even more the ones who are willing to take temp positions.
I like temps because it never gets monotonous....you work in all kinds of different environments and fill in for people on vacations and things like that. A good temp can get regular and steady work. Some temp positions turn into full time. It's worth checking into.
As long as you're looking and checking into your options, it should help you to know you're moving in the right direction and that something better will come your way.

Best wishes.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

I've been in your situation many times -- even had it happen in my current job. When a situation isn't ideal, the only thing you can do is change how you behave or react and handle it. In doing that, you usually end up changing how the other party reacts. REMEMBER: You can't change other people -- only yourself. If you remember that key element (changing your behavior), you can usually make things better or tolerable. Sometimes it takes awhile, so be patient. In the meantime, continue seeking other employment. NOTE: This advice applies to any relationship you have (work or home). I wish you all the best!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I'm glad you're taking time to look for a new job. It's not always a good idea to talk with one boss about the other, though.

You can't help how other people behave, but your reactions are solely your responsibility. You know that your value as a person doesn't depend on what either boss thinks. If Boss A can't deal with you, it's rather a shame, because actually you're a nice, competent person!

What's the worst thing that can happen with Boss A? Think about what you would do if that happens, and make plans in case that does happen. Then you can go ahead, do your best, and hold your head up, because you've already faced the worst case scenario. It doesn't sound very pleasant, but it may be a better way of handling your days than stewing and developing ulcers.

Keep doing your best where you are and looking for alternative work. Don't expect more from Boss A than you've already experienced. And try not to talk about him to Boss B. A manager who will talk about other bosses behind their backs may also talk about employees behind their backs.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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1 mom found this helpful
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