Still Breastfeeding 16Month Old.

Find a La Leche chapter near you - people do tandem as you know but man you need to be strong as an ox and eat like one too - I think it can work for robust emotionally stable flexible women

I just weaned my 17 1/2 month old daughter, and it was pretty easy. I think it may have been myself that was having the hard time giving up nursing since she was my first baby. Anyways, i began several months ago by dropping a feeding, going from 3 times a day to 2 and so on. She was finally down to just night time feedings which was more of a pacifer/comfort than feeding. I was worried because i couldn't put her to sleep with out feeding her at night. So recently i decided to stop completely, I warmed a bottle put her on my bed and when she asked for ba!ba! and pulled for my shirt,i gave her the bottle, and told her all gone. She also can tell when something is all gone, so anytime she would ask it was alway's "all gone". She then would fuss a bit, and i would keep telling her all gone along with giving her a bottle. I don't know if this is really advise, but some children just need to be ready along with the parent. I think a big part of her stopping was that she was ready. I called my lactation consultant and they told me just to drop feedings and supplement with a bottle. Good luck!

I breastfed my son all the way through my second pregnancy then tandem breastfed them both for another year. It's totally possible and even a nice reassurance for the first child when the new baby comes along. I strongly recommend it in fact, for that very reason. Good luck!

Hi! I have noticed how little ones love to be like the adults around him or her by using a sippy cup. This might work for your little girl. She has a great immune system by now because of the breast feeding, but I am sure she loves and needs the closeness that you share when she nurses. I pray that you and your little girl, will have a wonderful and happy time trying to adjust with the new baby. My grandson still uses a type of sippy cup in his lunch.

Good for you for nursing and don't worry about people's reactions, it's not their child or choice. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that mothers nurse for at least 2 years but if you need a little more support a local La Leche League will be glad to help. My cousin was able to keep nursing until about 6+ months of her pregnancy when her milk dried up, at which point her daughter waited until it came back to start up again, at that point she had a lessoned interest and within the year had weaned herself. Don't worry about bringing on contracts from nipple stimulation unless your doctor has pointed out personal health concerns for you, it takes a great deal of nipple stimulation to help with labor but your doctor can tell you the exact amount you would need (I believe it's nearly an hour's worth of stimulation but it's been a couple years since I read about it so don't take my word for it).
In response to another poster's suggestion of trying to teach your daughter to be a big sister and be potty trained now, I have to disagree. I have a second child on the way also, and with my daughter I've prepared her for it by just talking about what we can expect from a baby, and that I love them both and that we are now an even bigger family. I definitely would not try and force any "big girl" activities or attitudes from her as it will be hard enough to adjust to a new sibling (ie: competition for your attention) without telling her she has responsibilities or is too old for anything she was doing before the baby.

Try to stop cold turkey. It worked for me. If your breasts get too sore, try to gradually reduce the nursing. Go to twice per day for a week, then once per day, then stop. I was in the same situation. I was worried that breastfeeding the toddler was robbing my unborn child of energy that it needed. So I stopped cold turkey. My daughter wasn't bothered one bit. Now my second child was another story!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

I was still nursing my son at 20 months and expecting a second child. I didn't think he would stop...but suddenly when I was about four months along he just completely lost interest. I have two girlfriends who had the exact same experience - first child just quite when mom hit four months into the new pregnancy. I've read that the milk changes flavor at that point but I don't know if that is true. I would work on weaning the first child off if she doesn't stop herself in the next couple weeks.

Hi H.!
I breastfed my first son until he was 26 months old and I was 7 months pregnant. I loved it, but I started getting REALLY uncomfortable about that 7 month mark. So, I put bandaids on my nipples and told my son that my milk was hurt. My son totally got it, he said, "I'm sorry, Mama." That was it!! No tears, he was totally fine. We were both ready. So my advice is, don't worry. You can continue to breastfeed while pregnant, and if you decide to stop, there are ways to do it that will work for both of you.

Oh my gosh!! My daughter breastfed until she was 22 months and I thought I was going to lose my mind. While I loved it and knew it was best for her, at some point enough is enough. And with another on the way you need help now!

I tried everything unsuccessfully and while at the grocery store one day I ran across "Nail Bitter." When applied to your fingernails, it is to deter you from biting them. I bought some and applied to my nipples. When she wanted to breastfeed I warned her that "Mommy tasted yucky now" and she tried it and I was definitely yucky! She tried the other side, same thing. I only had to do it one more day for her to get it that it was finally over.

With a 16 month old you may have to do it a few more times but I swear by it and my pediatrician said that as long as my daughter wasn't drinking the solution, it was safe. Good luck!

I would contact your Dr. and make sure that the extra attention to your nipples wont cause unnecessary contractions, I know nipple stimulation is used to help bring on labor. Also, make sure that continuing to nurse your older child wont rob the newborn of the much needed colostrum. If all is good, it's not that hard to tandem nurse. I nursed my twin girls and we did tandem almost every feeding. I'm not sure how it would go over with a tiny one and a big one but we did double football hold and that worked great. Hope this helps. Congratulations on your new baby.

Hi H.,
I'm a mom of 4 grown children and I'm a social worker with lots of experience with children. What I did when nursing and wanted to wean my 2nd son as I was expecting again was to change the routine. Much of the need to nurse at your daughter's age has to do with habbit. If you could just break the routine, for instance, if she nurses first thing in the morning, have dad get her up and you could conveniently be in the shower and unavailable. Dad could give her breakfast with a sippy cup of milk. Hopefully you have the flexibility and the help to do something creative like that, or is your husband away in the air force? Hope it works out for you.
J.

I do have a friend who tandem nurses her children and has worked really well for her. I know she did get a lot of support and help from the local la leche league. Let me know if you need info on that...my neighbor is one of the moms who is a leader. I slowly weined my daughter right at 22 mo and I was around 4 mo. pregnant. I thought she would be hard to get off the breast since she had very little interest in food and was still up half the night nursing. I think the hardest part was other peoples reactions and remarks. Many people will give a "stupid" opinion but you just stick to your feelings of what you feel is right for your family and try the support of the la leche group...tons of wonderful moms.I have met friends and aquaintances through there. I had our pediatrician supporting me to continue the breastfeeding after the first year but was encouraging me to introduce more food to her but I have heard horror stories about doctors not supporting it. You do also realize that the moment that new precious baby is born that your milk will automatically switch back to colostrum for that baby and the nourishment will be for that baby which is perfectly fine for the older one. Some love it and some will wean themselves because they dont like the new flavor. Best wishes for you and your family! I think its awesome
R.

Congrats on the new one to come. Although you have done a great job nursing your little one you may want to try weening her now. As we know nursing a child causes our uterus to constrict this may cause little contractions and may put your developing little one in danger. The best thing for both babies I would say is to prepare the oldest as much as possible for the new sibling(potty train, big sister mode) and focus on letting your body gather the strength and nutrients it needs to carry the new one. hope everything goes well for your family
God Bless

My first was 15 months old when I became pregnant with my second and was instructed by my lactation nurses to stop breastfeeding for the sake of my unborn child. I had to quit cold turkey, it was hard but it's what had to be done. It will take a few days for you to feel OK, you may become engorged, if so ice packs are essential, you can get soft one that will mold around your breast and be a lot less painful then the hard ones. My son still had to sleep on my chest to fall asleep which was very sore for me but he was less fussy. I know it's a hard thought but the sorer the better for you and your baby. Good Luck!

Congratulations on your growing family. Altimately the decision on allowing your daughter the opportunity to continue nursing is yours. The decision on when to fully wean (if you allow her to conintue) will be hers. Some children do wean during the pregnancy (especially older children) others continue throughout and successfully tandem feed with their infant sibling.

Tandem nursing is normal, natural, and practiced widely throughout the world in almost, if not all, countries. As long as you are relatively healthy, your body will adapt to meet the needs of both children. You should be aware though that as your breasts prepare for the newborn by producing colostrum, your daughter may have looser, more frequent stools due to the laxative effect of colostrum (designed in part to help the newborn clear the meconium from their system). Centuries of practice and more recently a study from Australia indicate that most women are not at increased risk for preterm labor from expressing the breasts or (historically) nursing during pregnancy. Should you begin to experience preterm labor, or have high risk factors for preterm labor, then an individual assessment should be made. Lactation helps increase insulin sensitivity so continued breastfeeding, in theory, should reduce your risk of gestational diabetes, and assist with control if diabetes is experienced.

Once baby is born then the general guideline is the newborn has first priority. While you are establishing breastfeeding with your newborn, you may wish to solo feed both children. Once you are confident your youngest in nursing well and does not need your completely undivided attention, then you should be able to tandem feed as long as the three of you can find comfortable positions (most can).

Well in advance of the birth, discussing with your daughter the needs of the baby and what small changes may be in store for her, asking her to help find ways to make nursing both her and her sibling successful, should help her prepare for her sibling's arrival. Reassure her that you are still there for her and love her just as much.

I once saw a beautiful demonstration to use with children so they can see your love stays strong. It inolved candles of varying and appropriate heights. The mother candle was lit and then it was explained that the flame represents "all my love". When I met your dad I gave him all my love" - light the father candle "but I still have love to give". "When you were born I gave you all my love" - light the older child candle "but I still have love to give". This can progress as needed for the entire family (in your case two children). It is a great way to visualise that no matter how much love you give away there is always more.

What ever your choice, look after yourself, pace yourself, and enjoy your current and growing family.

K. H.

I nursed my oldest through my second pregnancy and then tandem nurse. This helped them bond and the oldest not to be jealous of the first. When the new sweet rich first milk after birth came in the oldest wanted to start nursing more. At the time she was only nursing at bedtime. I told her "No!"

It felt strange to have two different rythyms and pressure at first but I just thought about breathing in and out and relaxing and it didn't take long to get used to it.

Hi there! I'm totally new to this site, but I saw your post in my email thing and wanted to reply! I'm also nursing and pregnant and wanted to offer my support! My daughter is 18 months, and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. I'm planning to tandem nurse when the new baby is born. Whether you wean or keep nursing is such a personal decision, but I want you to know you aren't alone! Are you in the Antioch area? (I'm not sure if the site is local only or how this works, sorry!) Well, even if you aren't the advice still stands, but if you're local, even better! You should try going to La Leche League, we meet the 3rd friday of every month at 10am, in Antioch its at the new Deer Valley Kaiser. Right now there is actually one mom who IS tandem nursing, plus me who is nursing while pregnant, so you'll certainly have some support there :)
I'd also recomend the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing, you can find it on Amazon I'm sure, but our La Leche League also has a copy you can borrow from our lending library. It was extremely helpful to me when I first found out I was pregnant. It also has advice on how to gently wean if thats the path you choose.
Anyways, this is my first day on the site, so I'm not sure how you can, but you can reply to me and we can talk more if you want! Being pregnant and nursing is so hard sometimes, especially because most of my milk is gone now, but it is so worth it to me to keep nursing my daughter, and I think being able to nurse both my children is such a great reward for all the hard work! :)
talk to you soon!
-P.

When I became pregnant with number two, my first was nine months old. My midwife told me that I could breastfeed as long as the letdowns didn't result in any contractions! I breastfed my first until he was thirteen months old, then weaned him slowly as I didn't want to have to stop cold-turkey. Now, I wish I had just kept going until he weaned himself.

Hi my son is almost 20 months old and I am due in May. He has somewhat gradually weaned a lot but I think it's been due to lack of milk more than anything else. But he always asks to nurse and then he will for about five-ten seconds. I think he's checking to see if the milk is back. I let him because it was not my intent to wean him and if he wants to nurse when the baby comes, it will be okay. The local LLL here loaned me a book called Adventures in Tandem Nursing. It's been great because most books on bf'ing skirt the topic but don't go into a whole lot of detail. I've also heard/read that babies who nurse together have very close bonds. I'm hoping for that. Anyway, don't wean your baby unless you want to or have a medical reason to. Otherwise, keep it up !! : )

Have your mom or sister watch your girl for a couple of days while you are out of site out of mind. Aand then wear nothing but turtlenecks and breast plates!

I was in your position and I thought I would try to continue breast feeding as the benefits are so numerous, but it was just too hard on my body: I ended up with both anemia and gestational diabetes and I just had to stop nursing. My mother (mother of 6 and grandmother of 14 and greatgrandmother of 2) gave me a great tip: put just a drop of pure vanilla extract in the cows milk and soon enough the baby will prefer a bottle to the breast. It worked like magic for me. Within a week he had stopped nursing. When I told the pediatrician this tip, he said it was probably due more to the fact that the breast milk changes taste when you're pregnant with another baby.

hope it works

A. B.

I am a Breastfeeding Support Specialist and my advice is always to breastfeed until you or your child is not interested anymore. A lot of women tandem nurse and if you are not having any problems with your pregnancy and you have the energy for nursing your toddler I say go for it. Your daughter will probably wean herself as you get closer to your due date when your milk changes consistency for the new baby. If she doesn't wean herself you can make the decision to wean or not at that time. What isn’t broken doesn’t need to be fixed.

Here is a wonderful link for more information from La Leche Leage: http://www.llli.org/ Good luck!!

just a quick note... My eldest began to nurse less on his own when I got pg with #2. I then cut out the nursings one at a time starting with the one to which he seemed the least attached. I gave him a week to get used to each transition. hah - he was fine and weaned with no problem. I was the one who felt sad and a loss! I thought it might take me up to three months, but he only needed about three weeks. I was glad to have a few months off of nursing before starting up again. Plus, by the time #1 weaned, my nipples were *so* sore from the pregnancy that I don't think I could have continued to nurse him even if I had wanted to.

Good luck!

OMG!!! How thankful I am to have found this site! I've never known anything about nursing during pregnancy! I'm sooooooo thrilled it can be done!!!!
I think that's great you're doing it and that so many other mothers are also!!!
I truly believe that God wants us to do what's best for our children and of course us too! This is so great!!!!

I'm a 34 yr old mother of a 19 month old little girl. She's still nursing at nap time and bedtime. WE love it!!
I get sooooooooo much grief from my friends and in-laws about it - my mom and sister are very supportive though! My husband is ok with whatever I think is best. Thankfully!

AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH H.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy! This has truly made my day!

We're trying again too, so this is just the icing on the cake!

May God always be the center of your life.
Take care. :)

Hi there!
Breastfeeding your children is a very nutricious, heathlty and bonding experience for your child, as you well know. And you seem to be doing a great job. But with your daughter being 16m old and the with next one on the way, I think that it is a good time to wean her off the breast. I think that the longer you take to do it, it will just be that much harder to for her to stop. What I did with my son was, I stopped breastfeeding him during the day, and only breastfed him at night. And I gradually stopped all together. A friend of mine just had her second child recently, and she said that even though the first one was already weaned off breast milk, she wanted to taste some, so she has being giving some of her breast milk to her child in a cup, or in your case it would probably be a sippy cup. It is sometimes difficult for both mother and child to break that special bond, but it needs to be done. In your case you need to do it to make space for the next baby. Because now, your little girl is going to be the big girl. The big sister. Just encourage and love her and be there for her as you always have, but also be firm.
Good luck.

Hi. have you gotten any good advice? I have a 15 month old(as of today) who is bf strong too! The only issue is that it is suddenly killing my nipple! He only nurses in right side and it looks like he is biting it off. I think he is latching on differently due to teething, or i wouldnt mind! But the pain when he latches is bringing me to see stars! My dr said to call him and he will call in anti biotic, as we thought it was infection the last time! it had cleared by the time I got into dr with Bugs scheduled appt. I dont think its infection, as I said, I think its his latching. Any help you get I would love tohear! Thanks! Heather

H. M, I wouldn't necessarily consider nursing 2-3 times a day to be "still nursing strong". However, it all really is what works for you at this point especially as you get more pregnant. Your child has gotten the benefit, both physically and psychologically, of having been nursed so you need to do what works for your own body & mind, and probably better to do it before new baby comes. I personally would find too much of a drain on my body to be pregnant and nursing or nursing both. I had to wean my daughter to start grad school and the most effective weaning technique I found was distraction: giving her a drink from a sippy cup or a favored toy, for example. The last time of day to go was before bed. I told my daughter that she had drunk it all up and just held her. When she would want to nurse and had gotten that it was not happening, she would pat my breast and say, "I drunked it all up." When baby's near, you could add something to do with milk's for the baby when she/he comes. Best of luck and congratulations for your commitment to giving the best to your babies.
B.

How great that you have such a special nursing relationship! I nursed through the first two trimesters (in two different pregnancies), and learned that the flavor of breastmilk becomes bitter in the second trimester. My older son weaned himself (I had planned to tandem nurse), and my middle son weaned easily when I was around 20 weeks along with baby #3. Your body is doing amazing work, growing a baby and feeding a sibling! The best thing you can do is to keep from getting run-down--go get a massage, eat good food, and rest while you can! The decision to wean or tandem nurse is important, and either way, you will do the right thing. You go girl!

Hi H.. I have been a certified nurse midwife for almost 20 years and have 4 kids of my own. I have noticed one fact that seems consistent with nursing moms and that is that if they continue to nurse and are having trouble weaning it is NOT because of the baby but because the mom is not ready to wean. So I gather you would like to continue nursing your 16 mo old and would like to tandem nurse which is fine and totally up to you. If you eat right your babies will be fine. Your breasts will make enough for both. And chances are that by the time you are ready to give birth your 16 mo old will have had enough or you also. so I wouldn't sweat it at this point, enjoy your baby and the one on the way and see how you feel closer to delivery. a good website is La Leche League...good luck and congrats!

Hi H.,
I had my 2 kids 15 months apart and my son nursed until 1 week before I had my daughter and he quite on his own. My doctor said it was probably because my milk changed, because of the soon to be arrival of the next baby. I just listened to my body and my baby....and my heart and all was well. I never thought I'd nurse a baby past 1 year, but there really isn't a magic day when you say he or she is to old. They are your babies and you need to listen to you. People, who only had 1 child, would tell me I shouldn't be picking up my first child when I was close to having my second, but there again it isn't like your baby is one day magically bigger, it is a gradual thing and you just keep being a Mom day by day. My babies are now 18 and 19 and I still remember back to nursing them with fond memories. It was a bonding time for all of us.
With a smile, Y.

I have two friends that did this. Just make sure to feed your baby first so it will fill up and get what they need first. the milk that comes out first is more nutritious and the baby needs that and for the 16 month old it is only supplementary. Your older daughter will probably start to really take to breastfeeding again right when the other baby is born because the milk that comes in initially is very sweet. She will like that! You will have to do one of two things. Have your 16 month old wait until the baby is done and just explain to her nicely that she is a baby and needs to be fed and that she will get her turn in a few minutes. This worked best for my friends. It was hard to breastfeed both babies at the same time. They both did a bit but it wasn't comfortable for her or her older son. He would knock the baby off the nipple and it was just more frustrating for her this way. My other friend would include her older daughter in the feedings so she wouldn't feel left out. She would show her how to stroke her head and legs while she fed. I think every mother just has to play around with different things until they find what is right for them. Good luck!

I have done both... stopped nursing Baby 1 (he was 28 mos) when 7 mos pregnant with Baby 2 and then continued nursing Baby 2 through my pregnancy with Baby 3 (he was born when she was 35 mos). I tandem nursed for 4 mos and had no issues with the newborn not getting enough milk. He was exclusively breastfed and gained well...he thrived. I had no issues with nipple stim from nursing causing contractions. I did not eat like an ox nor am I as strong as an ox. I ate well and stayed hydrated. I got as much rest as I could. I stopped nursing Baby 1 because everyone kept telling me I needed to. I didn't "need" to and I regret stopping when I did. It was an easy transition, but it was not necessary. Do what feels right to YOU and what works best for the two of you. Best wishes in either case!

I tandem nursed my 2 girls, and I highly recommend it! During pregnancy, your milk supply will go significantly down. (Your body is obviously busy with other things). You don't need to worry about taking nutrients away from your baby by nursing. You do need to worry about it taking nutrients from you, however, so make sure you are taking your vitamins and more importantly getting them from their original source, and eating really well. My older daughter nursed right through my pregnancy, even though she barely got any milk after a while, but it seemed to be very comforting for her. And she especially needed that comfort with the stress and anticipation of having a new baby around. She was excited, but it was stressful. She was there for the birth which also helped with her connection with her sister, but having both girls nursing, looking at each other, was so incredible. I feel like it really confirmed for my older daughter that they both belonged and were family. She didn't feel left behind, and she had something really special that she could share with her new baby!

My son is also 16 months, but I am 5 mo. pregnant and still nursing. I have done a lot of research on this topic. There is a great book called Adventures in Tandem Nursing. You can buy it on Amazon. It really helped me feel better about nursing while pregnant.

Hi H. I am a mother of 4 just to let you know you are doing the right thing. I did with all my children in fact what you are doing is producing more mothers milk. when I had my 3rd child she was still nursing when her little sister came along she then went to nursing just a couple minutes a day. she needed me to hold her it was a comfort for her and then she started helping me nurse her little sister don't worry about there is a bond going on so don't lose it its very very special and remember always tell you daughter that you love her God bless you and your Family
mother of 4 Danielle S.

My oldest son was 13 months when I found out I was pregnant. I felt he was too young to wean so I decided to keep nursing and see if he would wean himself when the milk lessend. My milk supply got really low in the fourth month of my pregnancy and then pretty much dried up in the fifth. My son did not lose interest, and instead found it very comforting. By this time, I was hoping that he would continue so that I could tandem nurse him and the new baby (which turned out to be a boy). I felt it would help him and the new baby bond.

Nursing during pregnancy was a little uncomfortable because my nipples were so sore, but I enjoyed our cuddle time. Also,it helped him to fall asleep for naps in less than five minutes, which allowed me to take afternoon naps when I needed them!

He was 22 months old when my second son was born. At first, my oldest wanted to nurse everytime the newborn did. I was worried that I did the wrong thing because it was hard work!! After a month however, he more or less got back to his old schedule and all three of us enjoyed it very much. In the beginning, I found it easier and more enjoyable to nurse them one at a time. My oldest liked it too, because he got to be the baby for a while. I had so much milk that it did not matter who nursed first. Sometimes, I purposely nursed my oldest first because the newborn was getting so much milk he was becoming frustrated. Now that I am so good at nursing two, I solo nurse them or nurse them at the same time, depending on their needs.

Now, my sons are almost 1 and 3 and they are both still nursing. I love nursing them and know that it has helped them become closer! Since my oldest will be 3 in April, I have to start thinking about weaning him. He is showing some signs of doing it on his own, so I don't think it will be too hard.

Over all nursing two has been a good experience for me. If you decide to do it, you will find a routine that works best for you and your girls. Good luck!!