My almost 7 mo old daughter is still waking up during the night. I breastfeed so from birth I've brought her into bed with us to nurse during the middle of the night. Her doctor said she is now physically capable of sleeping through the night but she still isn't. It seems like the only place she will sleep straight through is next to me in our bed. But I'm finding it very difficult to let her cry herself back to sleep like my husband wants too b/c firs tof all I hate to hear her cry and also it's a lot easier to just bring her into bed w/ me so we can all get to sleep. I've heard lots of people say it's no big deal, their own children slept with them when they were little with no problems transistioning later on but I just worry that we are going to be having her in bed with us until she's 5 or something. Any advice?
First of all, thank you to everyone for your advice! I appreciate the support of all the mom's out there!
Well here's the update after last night - we tried putting Natalie in her crib twice only to have her bolt right up on her hands and knees the instant we set her down so we did pick her up and bring her back to us. But by 12:30 I knew she had to be tired so I nursed her and put her in her crib and I think it took about 15-20 minutes of crying and whimpering before she fell asleep. I think we'll try it again tonight but I also did go to the library and get the book The Baby Whisperer so thank you for that recommendation too.
I highly suggest you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It is the best out there.
Best of Mothering
M.- Mother of 4
Breastfed babies don't sleep through the night as early as bottlefed babies. Both of my boys were breastfed, the oldest slept through the night at around 8months old. And the younger had some developmental delays (about a year behind) and didn't sleep through the night until about 19months old. (we coslept with number two but not with number one) Co-sleeping had nothing to do with him waking up, he still needed me through the night. We still co-sleep and he doesn't wake up anymore because he doesn't neet the nightime feeding anymore. No mater what the Dr.'s say you can't look at a child and determine if they still need their Mommy at night or not.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES make your precious child Cry it out to sleep. It does damage to a child, Dr. Ferber the KING of Cry it out has even recanted most of his recomendations on Crying it out. It doesn't work, and it damages the parent child bond. Your baby still needs you at night...enjoy that it won't be long before she's pushing you out of her path on the way to the slides at the playground.
T.
In your bio you said this year has been about transition and change there is the problem right there. Maybe your little one needs a little stable schedule, with sleep and at home. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but experts say alot of change can distrupt ones schedule. Another good thing to do is let her cry herself to sleep, I know it just kills to hear them, but eventually she will learn this is where she sleeps. put her in her crib for naps and bedtime sleep. maybe moving her to and from your bed confuses her. Good luck.
Hello T. I have a almost 3 year old that I am stuck sleeping with me because I did what you are doing except I bottled fed. She is still not out of my bed now I also have a 5 month old son and he sleeps in his crib he is really good but I have to say that he still wakes up once in the middle of the night about 2 or 3am and I feed him while laying in bed and yes it is much easier to do that. So then he sleeps with me until about 6:30am till we get up. So I understand but I promised my self I would not make the mistake of letting another one sleep with me so most of the time I try to get back up after drinking his bottle and put him back the crib it is tough I know that.
I know it just seems easier to put her in bed with you because it is quick and easy (I did the same thing) but it really is important for her to learn to sleep without your help. I did the crying out thing to and it was HORRIBLE I sat outside their room and just cried while my husband held me. It only took two nights (and 10 min. the first night and 5 the next night) and then they both slept through the night. I got up in the morning and snuggled with them and fed them they both were breastfed my first for 14 months and my second still she is 6 months but she still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night but she also is hitting milestones rolling and crawling so she wakes to practice. It is different for all kids it may not be such a big deal for her to sleep with her and she may go into her bed just fine, but I have a friend who has a 3 year old and she still needs to sleep with him because he has trouble sleeping by himself. GOOD LUCK!!
T.,
Yes, your daughter probally CAN sleep through the night, but breastmilk is not at all like formula in the way that it digests quicker so your daughter probally is hungry. My daughter just turned two and we co-sleep probally 75/25. When she was smaller she slept with me probally 90% of the night. I found it easier to nurse at night if she was right there { I got to the point where I did not even wake up or barely woke up}. She will eventually go longwer stretches without nursing, so you will get more sleep. Babies' sleep patterns flucuate, so you may have a period where she wakes up every 2-3 hours and then out of the blue she is sleeping 6-7, then a few weeks later she is back to 2-3 hours. She will eventually sleep in her own bed. I cannot give an exact age because every child is different but if you do not mind that she is sleeping with you, and you and her both sleep better, then just take your doctors advice with a grain of salt. They are in "practice", which to me, means they do not KNOW everything, they are "PRACTICING". You do not happen to take your daughter to PIP do you?
Hi T.,
Sorry about your situation. I just went thru that same issue and I got some wonderful advice from The baby Whisperer..by Traci Hogg. Instead of just letting them cry it out she said (now this isn't always easy either) to be in the room with them and lay them down and stay in there, when they start crying pick them up until they are calm and put them down again. Keep repeating until they fall asleep. It is suppose to take three nights of this. Each night will get easier. The first night the author said she had to pick her up like 127 times. It took us a half hour of that the first night, less the second and only like two minutes the last night. It was awesome. The book says this is a gentle way to ease them into it, and they have the comfort of your presence. It also says it is very important the baby learns to self sooth themselves. Now you probably will want to take turns with your husband because the first night is difficult. Anyhow, I wish you luck!!
Tabetha,
I just broke this habit myself. I have a 3 month old daughter and I loved having her sleep with me. There was nothing better than having her cuddle up with me and snuggling all night. And she slept best in our bed too. But, now that I have her out and in her crib, my husband and I get much better sleep and so does she.
Maybe she needs some cereal at night before she goes to bed? That gets my daughter thru the night.
And when my daughter wakes up in the morning, I bring her into bed with me and we snuggle then.
Good luck.
Personally my son slept with me when he was little. Two reasons
1) he was born with rapid breathing and i use to worry when i would hear him quit breathing. I would have to nudge him to make him start up again. (Now a days they have monitors, back then we didnt)
2) I lived in my moms house and we couldnt have separate rooms. When he was old enough I had twin beds.
I thought nothing was wrong with it. He is a very well rounded adult. He is a very responsible person. And if i had it to over I would do it the same way. I was his mom for god sake, not a stranger. In my eyes its ok!
I dont know why everyone has to be so separted in a family today. I think its all wrong. Babies and children will always need love and comfort and they should never be separated from that. The nuturing days seem to be fading. Whats up with that?
Good Luck and take care. This is only my opinion.
I understand completely how you feel. I finally found a way to get my first son to sleep longer. However it got a lot harder before it got better. I had to break the HABIT my son had of eating every 4 hours. He didn't need to eat that often he was just used to it. So I had to hold him off by rocking and walking and everything else I could do to keep him happy but feed him. I pushed him back 15 min then 30 and so on until it was hours later or he just fell asleep again. I got even less sleep during this time than ever so I would only do this if you don't have to work or maybe on a vacation.
Good luck!
K. SAHM w/4 month G and 2 year B
Hello Tabitha,
I would recommend reading the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. My three year old had some sleep problems when he was a baby and this book helped alot. I ended up letting him cry himself to sleep. He also thought he needed to be fed in the middle of the night. It was hard but it only took two nights and then he understood he wasn't going to get a bottle and went back to sleep. If you do let her cry you need to commit to that. Don't let her cry for a half an hour and then go get her. It will confuse her and show her no matter how long she crys you will eventually get her. Is there any place in your house you can go that you can't hear her? Thats what I did. I went and sat in the basement until he stopped crying. It was easier that way. Good luck.
Everyone needs sleep - we all know that and feel it! If your goal is to help your baby get the sleep that she needs, then crying it out is a good option. It's hardest on the parent, I know from experience. But it's a relatively short process with most babies. As parents, we can't always do what is easiest for us. We must do what is best for our kids and in the long run, good sleep habits are important. Put her in her crib for naps and bedtime. And then teach her good sleep habits. You could go in and pat her if you need too, but don't take her out of the crib if you know she is fine other than crying. Usely within a week, they've learned to sleep on through or easily soothe themselves back to sleep. Keep in mind that you are breaking a habit when you do this so it might take a bit longer. You can get up and rock and sing and hold them off, but you'll be even more tired and she won't go back to sleep as quickly. Good luck!!
i did the same thing with my first child. and its true she will try sleeping with you untill she is 5 or 6.i know it is hard to hear you baby cry, but trust me you want to break her from it now. my other 3 children learned to fall asleep on there own. it killed me to listen to them cry, but i had to do it because i didnt want to go thrue that all over again. i wish you luck hun. its not easy but you have to do it to save you from not getting a good nights sleep.
T.,
We had and still occassionally have the same problem with our son who is now 2 1/2. I work full time. I actually enjoy the cuddling time. I don't know many elementary school age kids who sleep with their parents and I don't believe it is a big problem to let your children sleep with you if they need that extra comfort. Plus, sometimes you just need to sleep yourself. I could never let my son cry it out either. I know it works for some people, but it didn't work for me. Follow your gut and remember the same solution won't work for every child or family.
