Stop Siblings from Fighting

My daughter is 5 and my son is 2 and i go through this CONSTANTLY! She wants him to "play" with her and then when he doesnt do what she wants she flips out and he hits and bites her now! WHICH IM TRYING TO BREAK, but i guess thats his only way of letting her know he doesnt like or want to do what she wants! Its sooooo stressful and I am having a hard time with this as well. Also my son is EXTREMEMLY ACTIVE and its very hard to keep up! Good luck

When it gets to be too much around here I just send them to separate areas of the house. If they continue to bother each other, they lose a privilege. Does your daughter get a time out for her drama? Maybe that would work to help settle things down.

Siblings fight. Mine older two are 6 & 4 and are getting at each other all the time. That said here is an idea that might be more work for you but if possible separate them. Take it to the extreme and they will hopefully get the hint. If the fight or hit they have to spend the rest of the day in their own rooms coming out to eat or potty only. I think would probably convince your 4 year old to stop her behavior but it might not work on a 2 year old.

Well they are at 2 different ages developmentally.
So their cognition is different.

I have a daughter and son. My son is the younger one. They are 4 years apart.
But for the most part, they get along and like each other.
Sure they fight sometimes, but they mostly like each other.

I think, siblings either get along and/or like each other, or they don't.
Me and a sibling I have, never got along. We were like oil and water.

But yes, you do need to guide/teach them/discipline them. Because, hitting is wrong. But per the 2 year old's age, they do this. But so you have to use different age appropriate methods, to correct them.
Tell your daughter, to talk in a normal voice.
Separate them.
TEACH them, and you, that siblings can have alone time too. And they may want to play by themselves too. This is normal. No siblings, HAS TO be playing together ALL the time. I taught my kids, how to NICELY say.... to me or to each other, if they want alone time or to play by themselves. And its okay.

If your daughter is always feeling, that her younger brother always trumps her, then well, she is acting out because of it.
You need to talk to her, teach her how to say things in a NORMAL voice, because screaming about it does not help. And that you will hear, her.. even if she is grumpy or sad. That she needs to tell, you. And that, you know she is just a little kid, herself.

2 year olds, do not have full impulse control.
But still, he needs to be corrected.

not to condone the hitting (i'd hate that too and do all i could to stop it) but if your daughter is dramatic it is probably escalating the situation. stop responding to her unless she is calm and acts like a big 4 year old, using her big girl voice and not shouting or shrieking. i've got a 5 year old son and a 5 year old niece that have ALWAYS had a love/hate relationship. it's like they can't live without each other, then 5 minutes after they get together they're butting heads...but they adore each other. not the same as siblings but similar. i have always told them, no tattling, and if you can't work it out yourselves, you can't play together. 99% of the time they work it out themselves. that's assuming you give your 4 year old the tools to work it out, and teach her to have patience and compassion for her brother. but it sounds like the 4 year old is really jealous of the 2 year old and constantly seeking attention over him. at 2, yes, he's going to hit and hit and hit even right after he's been put in time out. but keep timing him out. does she hit him (if she does it will exacerbate the problem)? do they practice taking turns and sharing (that can help)? a lot of it is just kid stuff - they have to learn and it takes repetition and consistency. be patient and hang in there!

I have a four and two year old too, and they fight/bicker alot too.

I teach them that the FIRST thing they do is to tell the offender firmly, "No. I dont like that. Stop." The offender then should 1)Stop and 2)Apologize. The "victim" should then "forgive" and then get over it. There is normally a hug involved somewhere.

So... When my son yells, "Abby hit me!" I say, "Well, did you tell her you didnt like it?" And then he says "I dont like that. Don't do it." My daughter MIGHT stop and apologize, or she might keep doing it - at which point I say, "Abby - your brother told you to stop, now stop, and apologize, or you get XYZ consequence."

My main thing is that I want my children to feel that they can handle situations themselves, and not to run to an adult everytime they have a problem. I feel that teaching them this now will make them less likely to be bullied when they are older. Also - by putting it back on them, it takes away the attention and power they get with tattling.

They each also have sticker charts. There are about five things on each sticker chart they are working on. My two year old daughter has potty, picking up, eating dinner, etc. and my four year old son has feeding dog, getting dressed, etc. I put a column last month on for sharing/playing together (because they always fight over toys). The MINUTE they start bickering over a toy, I mention in passing, "Oh - well you each get a sticker for sharing." Or I will say, "Oh - if you show her how to play with your toy, you get a sticker." and then they do a 180 and start ernestly playing together.

Still - my kids fight and bicker - but thats what I do.

Love, love, love the book "Siblings Without Rivalry". With this little bit of info it's hard to know exactly why they are fighting so much, but that book always lends people some insight about how to work with their kids and reduce conflict.
Good luck!

siblings fight. That said, you def need to have a zero tolerance policy for both the hitting and the tantrums. Since time out is not working for the hitting, start taking away things he cares about until he can control his behavior. and if she throws a fit never give her what it is she is wanting, just put her in her room and tell her she can come out when she is done. JMO

Make sure they get time away from one another every day. (Playdates, camp, pre-school, individual visits with family, seperate mommy time/daddy time, etc.) My boys are the best of friends, except when they don't get time apart.