D.B.
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This is entirely my fault but my 14 month old still wakes up at night to feed. Now that #2 is on the way, I don't have the energy nor do I want to continue feeding at night. Normally its 1 bottle, but some nights its 2!!
If I don't feed her, she just cries and cries and at 3am the easy thing to do is just give her another bottle!!
We cosleep & a pacifier doesn't work and giving her a bottle of water doesn't work either... so I'd really really appreciate any and all tips you might have!
Thank you!!!!
Thanks everyone! We have no intention of stopping cosleeping but we are on day 3 of decreasing milk and increasing water. I did a lot of research so if anyone else looks at this: When you have a baby that sucks to sleep and eats during the night, you actually have 2 issues you need to work out. The first is the eating at night and the second is the sucking to comfort/fall back asleep. One at a time.
The first night we decreased milk, she cried and fussed for about an hour and then fell asleep. She ate A LOT the next day which was my intention! I also started feeding her a later dinner & snack. Her nighttime bottle was 75% water, 25% milk. She woke up 2x and didn't drink for more than a minute before rejecting the bottle and rolling over. Will do the same tonight but will 10% milk.
Once we get the eating done with & the consumption up during the day, we can focus on the sucking to sleep issue!
Again - thanks for all your input.
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my vote is for you to stand firm & not give in! Sounds harsh, but only you can stop this process. You are choosing the easy way out by indulging her, & it will only get worse!
With baby #2 on the way, is it time to move her to her own bed/bedroom? At age 14months, she should have already learned self-soothing skills. Whatever method she uses during the day to soothe herself...will work for nighttime IF you stand firm. A fav blankie, toy...& the pacifier .....& make her understand that the bottle is for babies. Time to let her be a Big Girl!
Put her in her own crib, let her cry 20 minutes, don't pick her up - just pat her on the back and briefly say "I love you. Go to sleep." Repeat.
I agree with Dawn. Most kids sleep so much better in their own beds when they finally move in there. My kids each slept 12 hours this weekend, loved it!!
Hello Dear -
GEEZ you mean you're not perfect just as NONE of us are either??? Dont worry about it! If thats the worst thing I ever did with my kids in the mistake dept Im doing GREAT and so ARE YOU! Since you co sleep(which we did as well) have you tried going to http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Im sorry but I dont agree with intensive cry it out. the ferber method is very, very controversial and due to intense disagreement by LOTS of people including pros he now says he is ok with co sleeping and what works for some families may not work for others! DUH. I asked myy Ped. and he said he felt there were better methods and sent me to Dr Sears and so did the specialist I had to go to with my kids and she had 5 FIVE kids. She told me she has seen "quite a few" nervous and insisecure babies MADE that way RIGHT AFTER ferber's methods so close to what had transpired at home, that he blamed it only on ferbers tactics. For light cases she, the specialist said it was ok but she felt there were better ways without making your baby feel shut out! I mean isnt the world tough and cold enough without throwing your child into the same type of tough stuff at 14 mos?? We are not talking about a 6 or 7 or 8 yr old here and this is not about milk as Im sure you know already. YOur precious one of a kind child is dependent on you for comfort and you want her to always feel NO one is better than the safety of her mom and dad. YES I know this is rough and bad, Ive done it! My daughter did this too! BUT she can learn ways to comfort herself without being thrown to the wind and the too bad kid! Buck up approach.
The man Dr. SEars is nicknamed "Americas Pediatrician" for a very good reason and he is a genius, having helping us more than I can ever say. He and his wife had 8 (yes 8!) kids himself and certainly learned a thing or two in the process! His wife Martha Sears, is a registered nurse and a dietician, i believe but don't hold me to that one. ;-)Several of his sons are pediatricians themselves so he must have done something right! I have recommended him to several moms and they have all been happy they found his site. The link I am giving you is particularly concerning SLEEP issues. I even bought his Sleep Book and it was extremely enlightening! if you peruse the site looking at OTHER Peoples ANSWERS and questions and hints you will find what you are looking for I would wager and you can even write in and ask quesitons. Im telling you, he's awesome. I feel your pain --been there done that! God bless and go get 'em! You will be OK! Hang in there sweetie! If you need to talk or ask me whatever i can do to help Id be honored to help if possible- if you want: ____@____.com sincerely, JulieP. in NJ.
Hi J.,
ONe year olds don't need night "feedings" or bottle feedings at all. If you stop giving the milk, and replace it with water, eventually she'll stop waking, but she WILL cry as she breaks this bad habit. You need to decide whether you want to break the habit or not, she won't magically give it up. Be assured that she does not need any bottle feedings. Milk is just a drink at this age. What I would suggest, though, is to look at what she is eating during the day. She should be having 3 solid meals, and healthy "snacks" (not suggesting junk food, but more food between meals). She may be waking because she is hungry. Does she eat well? If she's one of those toddlers who just nibbles, a few spoon or forkfuls of food at meals isn't filling and she is waking up starving. Try to up her food intake, let her eat dinner earlyish and give a hearty food snack before bedtime.
I don't believe in Ferber or letting kids cry a long time, I have no issues against cosleeping - I don't think babies/toddlers "need" to sleep in their own bed, but if you chose family bed, there will be disturbances in sleep
I agree with the other Moms. Time to cry it out. Parenting isn't easy so don't take the easy way out. Good luck!
She's ready for her own bed, and she's definitely past due for giving up the nighttime feedings.
Tough love, like the post below, is right. If you want to get some sleep, you've got to stick it out for a few nights of crying, but it will pay off! There's really no other way. At 14 months old, you're in it deep....time to dig yourself out.
Good luck and congrats on baby #2!
