Striking Breastfeeder

Updated on August 12, 2006
K.M. asks from Plano, TX
5 answers

Help!

My almost 8 month old baby girl has decided to go on nursing strike. She has not nursed for almost 2 days now. Everytime I try to feed her she just turns her head and cries. She is bottle fed with the lady that keeps her...I usually feed her 4-5 times a day through nursing....and we have had this routine since 3 months. Last week she bit me...drew blood! I screamed she cried, but then later that day ...and for the next week she nursed. I have been telling her "no biting" when it seems that the teeth are coming before her little tongue, however I say if calmly and softly. I also praise her when she nurses properly. She eats little solid food, and we have been working on this since she was 6 months, however she seems to have little interest. Last night she would not nurse at all...and I hated to put her down hungry, so I gave her a bottle.....which she happily drank. I have heard that most infants don't wean themselves this early, however I am wondering what the heck is up! She is teething, just got her first upper tooth(has 3 lowers) and her 2nd top tooth should be coming through soon, however she has never stopped nursing through any of the others, in fact she would nurse longer. I am suprisingly very sad about her strike...I was one that was only going to nurse 6 months max!!! Now and almost 8 months I find myself very tearful thinking that she is never going to nurse again....is almost heartbreaking for me!!! Since we were going so strong I was hoping to make it to 12 mos. Any advise would be appreciated. I am a first time Mom, hoping the strike will stop, and my little angel will continue to nurse.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

Dear K. - I don't believe that your baby is self-weaning yet. Self-weaning doesn't happen until much older. I believe the nursing-strike is associated with the biting reaction, even though you didn't respond by raising your voice. The same thing happened to me/my daughter. Your baby could see, I'm sure, the pain it caused you and even though it may not have produced an immediate reaction...it probably precipitated the nursing-strike.

In regard to the solution, I will get back to you soon with some advice that I found in one of the best breastfeeding books. And, I, like you never thought I'd breastfeed past 6 months. But, after many phases in breastfeeding, I continued for quite a while.

I'll write you back soon with the tips from the book and how I moved past this time period too. I just wanted to get back to you soon, before you lost HOPE from the other responses that your baby was self-weaning.

By the way, in other societies where breastfeeding is more widely supported, a child on average does not self-wean until 3 years old and even much older. So, I can guarantee you that your daughter is NOT self-weaning at 8 months old. Your baby can continue to receive a extraordinary blend of nutrients uniquely designed for just that individual's needs. Your body changes the breast milk when your child is sick, at different ages and stages...what a miracle.

I don't believe you'll have to give up anytime soon...if you want to continue this unmatched gift that will last your child a lifetime in developmental benefits and much more. Take care. Many Blessings - L.

P.S. I'll write back with the nursing-strike solution soon.

EDIT--> Additions below:
This is a great article on the issue of nursing strikes. I have more information, but don't think I can continue to add on any more to this post. Bottomline is that if the nursing stopped suddently it is a "strike" not "weaning". Weaning is a gradual process and doesn't happen to a baby that is as young as yours and particularly one that it not eating much solids. I continue to believe it is a combo of the "biting reactions" and the "teething process". What I did that worked for me/my daughter, was to breastfeed while she was asleep or sleepy and to use a different method for deterring the biting. Both the strike and the biting ended for me within four - five days...some strikes among moms that I've spoken to or read about have lasted more than 2 weeks and then their child began breastfeeding again for a long time. Hope all this helps. Sorry for the long article, it is really only a few pages long, but seems longer in this post. L.

Please feel free to e-mail me directly if you have any other questions or need encouragement/support.

____@____.com
---------------------------
Is Baby Weaning or Is It a Nursing Strike?
By Nancy Mohrbacher
Mt. Prospect, Illinois USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 9 No. 6, November-December 1992, pp. 173-4, 176
We provide articles from our publications from previous years for reference for our Leaders and members. Readers are cautioned to remember that research and medical information change over time
Your baby has been nursing well for months, then suddenly begins refusing the breast. What does it mean? Is there something wrong with your milk? Is baby sick? Is baby ready to wean?
A baby who refuses to breastfeed may not necessarily be ready to wean. If the baby is younger than a year and has not been eating much solid food or drinking from a cup, it's unlikely that he or she is ready to give up breastfeeding. More than likely the baby has gone on a nursing strike.
A nursing strike is a baby's way of communicating that something is wrong, and most babies who go "on strike" are obviously unhappy about it. Some nursing strikes come on suddenly, others more gradually. But a nursing strike does not have to mean the end of breastfeeding. If a mother encourages her baby to return to breastfeeding, a nursing strike usually lasts between two and four days, although some last longer. With lots of patience and persistence it is almost always possible to convince the baby to go back to nursing so that both mother and baby can continue to enjoy its benefits.
Possible Causes of a Nursing Strike
Sometimes the cause of a nursing strike is obvious, but other times the mother may never discover the reason. Some common causes for a baby to refuse to nurse include:
• mouth pain from teething, an injury, a cold sore, or a fungus infection, such as thrush,
• an ear infection, which may cause pressure or pain while nursing,
• pain while being held in the nursing position, perhaps due to an immunization or an injury,
• a cold or stuffy nose that makes breathing difficult while nursing,
• too many bottles, overuse of a pacifier, or frequent thumbsucking, which >may lead to a reduced milk supply,
• regular distractions and interruptions while nursing,
• an unusually long separation from mother.
There may be situations or actions on the mother's part that contribute to a baby's refusal to nurse:
• a strong reaction to a baby's bite,
• a major change in routine, such as moving or traveling,
• limiting and/or rigidly scheduling feedings,
• talking in a loud voice or arguing with other family members while nursing,
• overstimulation, stress, or tension from an overly full schedule or an upset in the home,
• repeatedly putting off the baby when she wants to nurse or letting her cry.
Becki Hallowell from Guam discovered on the third day of six-month-old Todd's nursing strike that "we had all the usual causes and then some. We all had bad colds. (Todd's was the worst.) We were all very tired and in a new situation with extra stresses. Todd's grandparents, whom we hadn't seen in a year, were visiting us for a month. During their visit, Grandpa ended up in the hospital. Todd had been biting me due to teething, and I had reacted strongly."
Other, less common causes of a nursing strike include sensitivity to a food or drug the mother or baby has ingested (including vitamin or mineral supplements, fluoride drops, dairy products, or caffeine), creams or ointments applied to the mother's nipples, change in the taste of the mother's milk due to a breast infection or change in mother's diet, or a reaction to a new product (such as a soap, shampoo, or laundry detergent) the mother has used on her body or clothing.
Naturally, not all babies will respond to these situations by refusing to nurse. Some babies are more sensitive than others, and different babies will display a wide range of reactions to the same thing. For example, one baby with an ear infection might continue nursing well, while a second baby becomes fussy at the breast, and a third baby refuses the breast altogether.
An Unhappy Time for Everyone
No matter what its cause, a nursing strike is upsetting for everyone. The baby may be unhappy and difficult to calm. The mother may feel frustrated and upset and worry that her baby is rejecting her. She also may feel guilty, believing that her baby's refusal to nurse means she has done something wrong.
Anne Monroe from North Carolina, whose daughter Meghan went on a five-day nursing strike at eight months, "felt terrible grief and rejection during the strike." Victoria Schnaufer from Pennsylvania, who weathered a ten-day nursing strike with her son Jonathan, says, "Until Jonathan went through a nursing strike at eleven months, I had no idea how emotionally stressful and physically draining this challenging breastfeeding situation could be. By the third or fourth day I was extremely frustrated and was becoming angry."
Carol Strait found her mind racing when two-and-a-half month old Christie began refusing the breast. "A thousand thoughts ran through my mind--I must be eating the wrong foods, maybe she was teething, I was probably too nervous (what nursing mother wouldn't be nervous when her new baby suddenly refused to nurse?), perhaps she was weaning herself--and even the irrational thought that she didn't like me!"
There are also physical considerations. As the baby misses feedings, the mother will soon become uncomfortable as her breasts fill up with milk. If her breasts become engorged, she will be at risk for a plugged duct or breast infection. And the baby still needs nourishment. Worries about how to feed the baby can add to the mother's upset.
Keeping Mother and Baby Comfortable
While the mother is trying to persuade her baby to take the breast, she will probably need to express her milk about as often as her baby had been nursing. This will keep her comfortable, prevent plugged ducts, and provide her baby with the milk he or she needs.
Expressing milk by hand or with a small breast pump is a learned skill that takes practice to master. If a mother whose baby is on strike is having difficulty expressing her milk, another option is to rent a full-size electric breast pump (your League Leader will know of a nearby source). The full-size electric pump does not depend upon skill or practice to be effective, because its suction-and-release mechanism automatically mimics the suck of a breastfeeding baby. A double-pumping attachment is available with this type of pump that allows both breasts to be pumped at the same time, cutting pumping time in half.
The mother needs to decide how to give her expressed milk to her baby. Most mothers think of bottles first, but it may make it easier to convince a baby to go back to breastfeeding if bottles and pacifiers are avoided during a nursing strike. Artificial nipples satisfy the baby's urge to suck, decreasing the desire to nurse. In some hospitals in Africa, bottles are never used. Even premature and ill babies are fed from small cups. Try offering the expressed milk in a cup, small flexible bowl, spoon, eyedropper, or feeding syringe. Using a different feeding method may be messy at first, but with patience and practice, a baby will usually master it quickly.
The mother may also be concerned about whether her baby is getting enough milk. To set her mind at ease, she can keep track of her baby's wet diapers. At least six to eight wet cloth diapers per day--five to six disposables--indicate that the baby is receiving enough fluid.
Getting Baby Back to the Breast
Patience and persistence are the keys to getting a baby back to the breast. But if either mother or baby becomes frustrated when the breast is offered, it is time to stop and try again later. Attempts to breastfeed should be kept as pleasant as possible, so that the baby will associate nursing with positive feelings.
The following time-tested suggestions have helped many mothers overcome a nursing strike:
• Try nursing when the baby is asleep or very sleepy, such as during the night or while napping. Many babies who refuse to nurse when they are awake will nurse when they are sleepy.
• Vary nursing positions. Some babies will refuse to nurse in one position but take the breast in another.
• Nurse when in motion. Some babies are more likely to nurse when rocking or walking rather than sitting or standing still.
• Nurse in an environment that is free from distractions. Some babies, especially babies older than three months or so, may be easily distracted. Turn off the radio and television, and try nursing in a quiet, darkened room.
• Give the baby extra attention and skin-to-skin contact. Focused attention and extra touching are comforting to both mother and baby. When offering the breast, whenever possible undress to the waist and clothe the baby in just a diaper. Use a shawl or blanket around both of you if the room is chilly.
• A baby sling or carrier can help keep the baby close between attempts to nurse. Taking warm baths together can also be soothing. Sleeping together provides extra closeness and more opportunities to nurse while the baby is sleeping.
Lee Roversi from Connecticut, who had been feeling overwhelmed by her son Sky's "seemingly constant need to nurse," had a change of heart when his erupting eye teeth made nursing painful for him and he went on strike. "We spent the next two days in almost constant touch--holding, reading, cuddling, bathing together, rocking. Thankfully, he would nurse in his sleep during the night and that, along with hand-expressing some of my milk, kept my breasts from becoming uncomfortably full. When his strike ended and he asked again for 'nanas,' I knew that I had regained my perspective. All else could wait--indefinitely--while I treasured the moment."

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

At 8 months I would NOT automatically assume that she is self-weaning. That seems like a very young age to self-wean. My girl is 14 months and is not showing any signs of self-weaning. I don't have any personal experience with striking. But I would strongly recommend that you check out LaLecheLeague.org and find a phone number to a leader in your area who can guide you through this. It is free and they are very knowledgable and supportive. Don't give up until you have talked to them.
Best Wishes!!

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I.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,
I have 3 kids, all 3 of them had exectly the same as you describe at 8,5 months. Just not interested in the breast anymore. I have heard it from many many other moms, around 8 or 9 months many baby's don't want the breast anymore.
Maybe sad for the mother, but obviously not for the baby. So ask yourself: "do you want to continue breasfeeding because you like it so much, or because she likes it so much".
I think your daughter gave you the answer already.
Time to wean! Well, she weaned herself.

Good luck,

I.

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W.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like a perfect time to wean, as she has made the decision for you. If you force the feeding, weaning may be difficult and confusing for her later.

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H.M.

answers from Lincoln on

Hi, K....I just wanted to let you know that I can identify with and appreciate your situation. My daughter is 4 months old and I think getting ready for her first tooth...that, combined with the fact that she takes a bottle during the day while I'm at work, seem to have her on a little strike of her own right now. It is so frustrating and heartbreaking because we tend to automatically think, "well, that's it for the breastfeeding!" I agree with the other posts who have suggested contacting a lactation consultant and giving it a break, just nursing when she is sleepy as the article suggested.

I also wanted to thank you for posting this...it has provided me with some great information for my own situation as well and lets me know I'm not alone!

Good luck with getting her back on the breast...I sincerely hope it works for you and me!

H.

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