Suggestions on Sleeping 16 Month Old

Like a lot of the other ladies said, you need to let him cry. He is definitely old enough to let him cry, and this will teach him to not keep pushing the boundaries. I know it'll be really hard, but it has to be done. Rewarding his crying by holding him and cuddling him only sends the message to him that he can manipulate you when he wants something. Trust me, it'll really help in the long run if you let him cry it out! It'll probably only take one time. Good luck.

My son whent through that stage too. There were two things that helped for us. The first was tylonol as at that age they may be having growing pains, The other was stuffed animals, I would hold him for 5 or 10 minutes after he fell asleep. I knew he was out when I could pick up his arm and there was no resistance. I would have a stuffed animal that I would but between him and I and wait a minute or so then lay him down very slow and when I moved my arm away I would put a stuffed animal there as well. The only downside to this ( and I don;t thing it is a problem) is that he is now 2 1/2 and has to have at least 2 stuffed animals in his bed.

This issue obviously seems related to day care. But as long as you are confident that he is being well cared for while he is at day care then I would say you need to make him tough it out. Transitioning to day care is always tough for small children, we had to start taking my son when he was 18 months. At first we felt like it was the end of the world, but after the initial rough patch we feel it is the best thing for him. It is important to expose children to peers their own age and expose them to an environment where other caring adults provide structure. He has grown and changed in so many ways and I really feel day care has been a big part of this. That being said, continuing to sleep with him on the sofa is going to get you no where fast. Figure out a way to transition out of doing this. Either by refusing to go to him in the night and dealing with a night or two with a lot of crying. Or by gradually going to him less & less. I have read that you should avoid touching and comforting, just go in and tell him to go back to sleep. The next night stand in the doorway and tell him to go to sleep and so on. However you decide to approach this, things will won't get better any time soon if you keep sleeping on the couch. And don't let others make you feel bad about taking your son to day care. There is nothing wrong with it.

Hi S.: I own a preschool/child care and let me tell you..it takes children awhile to get used to the newness of it all. Centers usually keep the children very busy so he may still be getting a schedule of his own. Does he take naps at the center? how long? your center should be keeping track of this. Maybe you can ask them to wake him after an hour or see if they can leave him down longer...this may help with the night problems. If they can get him to sleep a little longer maybe you can keep him up until 10:00 -then maybe he will sleep thru the night. Also 12months-3 years children start going thru the seperation issues so maybe he just needs alittle more assurance at night that you'll be there in the morning. Try not to go down the couch path...it will only get hard.-Good luck! H.

i have found the most success with dr. sears advice. almost every technique of his i tried worked. this is a link to an article about 31 ways to get your child to sleep: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp
night waking is hard to deal with and it sucks for you to have to get up, and there are plenty of times you wont want to put the energy into it but i think it is so important that you try to parent him back to sleep, your son is depending on you for comfort and support, imagine not being able to express problems or fears you have to your partner, and imagine trying to talk or worse yet being so upset all you could do was cry and having them completely ignore you, your relationship would not be a happy one. i feel so bad for the babies that are left to cry it out.
you should follow your heart, read up on different techniques and ask yourself what its like to be in your child’s shoes. try different things and if something works for you and your family don’t let anyone tell you its wrong, you are your sons parent and only you know how to raise him the "right" way. trust your instincts!
ps my daughter is just a little older than your son and she sleeps on a twin matress on the floor (and has since she was about 14 months), it made it a lot easier to rock her back to sleep and than lay her down on her own, the crib just made things too awkward. plus if she woke up as i was laying her down i would just lay beside her for a couple of minutes untill she was in a deep sleep again.

S.,

I had the same problem with my 16 month old. At her 15 month old appt the doctor said to let her cry and not reward her crying by going in and getting her. He said he did it with one of his children and they cried for an hour before falling asleep. After that the child never woke up in the middle of the night. I did that with my daughter and now she'll only fuss or toss in turn but not like it was before. Before she'd wake up, stand up in her crib and cry until I got her and rocked her. It really worked. The first night of her crying was hard but it was cake after that because she only fusses a little now.

C.

I just want to suggest a book called, "The no cry sleep solution," which I picked up at Borders for $15. Currently, we are working through it and it is helping!
Good luck!

Hello? Could it be that he wants more time with you and this is how he is getting it? You say you put him in daycare 3 weeks ago and that's going fine--are you sure it is? I may seem very opinionated here, but it seems very obvious that this is a repurcussion of having him in daycare.

My oldest son (now 13) did not sleep the first 3 years of his life. and still to this day he is a night owl and still does not sleep. I slept when he slept. My work hours at that time where 4-9pm.

My story, like yours, slept great until about the 8 week mark(you know the time we go back to work and need sleep). Then he was fine when I was holding him, the minute I put him down, cring and screaming. His best sleep time was 4-9am. Really, I slept on the couch with him on top of me every night and every nap or he did not sleep.

He also started teething at 14 weeks and by the time he was 1, he had all but 4 teeth.

When he did stay in his bed and sleep (at 2-5), in the morning when he heard we were up, he would come find me, hold me and go back to sleep on top me for another 45-60 min. today still curls up next to me on the couch to watch TV, a snuggly guy.

With my 2nd son (4 years age gap) I got a full size bed in his room just so I could just sleep there with him if needed(work hours changed), and did 60% of my nights-why not? It is only a short time in their lives. And it was better then the couch or in my bed with another adult you are trying not to wake. I sleep- they sleep- dad sleeps. We did not as many sleep problems with #2 like we did with #1.

for son #3, I still have that full size bed. Where do I sleep? This one is a dad's boy, so dad sleeps in the bed with him. Not much now (he's 3 now), but they just love to be with us (children want to be with their mommies and daddies). And in time that lessens and they move out.

My Dr. said if my oldest son didn't sleep by 18 would talk. He just likes to stay up all night. He also did not and does not, eat much. He also was the bed wetter. He was always small compared to his class but now is starting to pass them in height.

Hopefully nothing serious is wrong with your baby. He may just miss you, want to be next to you.

Good luck

let him cry himself to sleep or else when he gets older he would always want to sleep with you.

This is such a personal decision. It really depends on your personal parenting style. My personal rule is to let my daughter cry it out for 10 min. I actually time it (because when they're crying 2min. feels like 10). If she's still crying consistently (not on/off whimpering) then I go get her. However, if her crys sound like she's scared/hurt as opposed to her normal upset cry, then I go comfort her immediately.

Good luck!

hi S., are you sure nothing is going on at the day care? because crying like that would put up a red flag for me. then once you hold him he feels secure. they will tell you everything is okay. but you need to drop in unannouce and see what is going on. if anything. maybe they are not giving him attention and just letting him cry. which will cause anxiety for him. now day you just never know. i would check that out first then see what happens but i would not let them know you are coming. but i always go off how much my children are reacting. good luck.

I had this problem too and I tried the PU/PD method. If they cry or stand up when you leave the room (after waking) pick up, NO cuddles, put down immediately in the position you lay them down for the night. NO talking either. If you are barely out of the room and he starts again, turn right around, pick up and put down. My son would jump up before I even turned around. This went on for two months,I cried all the time, and didn't know what to do. Letting him cry it out was HORRIBLE and it never worked!

Finally, I read about this in the book, The Baby Whisper, and although it was very hard, it worked. No joke, I had to do it 87 times the first night (he's stubborn), but the next night I only did it 30 times. By the end of the week he was only needing one or two times. This works because they understand you are there, they are not alone, but that it is time for sleeping. By repeatedly laying them back down the get the message that it's "sleeping time".

Hope this helps!
-C.

It sounds like it still might be a separation anxiety thing. I would just snuggle with him for awhile and let him fall back to sleep with you. He needs to know you are still there for him. You may try letting him sleep in your room for awhile, just to let you get some sleep. When he is older, he should not have any problems going to his own room.

Hi, S..

I have a 2 year old boy and when we put him in daycare it affected both his sleeping and eating patterns. Daycare can be a traumatic experience for children to "get used" to. It sounds like your little guy is having a tough transition. In his little mind, his most beloved mommy has dumped him into the hands of strangers. Time is not a concept that 16m olds really grasp and he doesn't realize until he sees you that you are coming back for him soon. It takes time (sometimes months) for children to assimilate, grow new relationships and gain confidence with new situations and new people. Maybe ignoring his cries for comfort will show him you are not available to him when he wants or needs his mommy the most.

My husband and I decided early in our son's life to use a bedtime routine that will teach our son to feel confident, comfortable and secure rather than cause tantrums. At bedtime, we use the exact same routine of bath, tooth-brushing, pajamas, small drink, goodnight kisses, we read 5-10 books and then we turn off the light and sing "sleepy-time" songs. He falls asleep within 15 minutes. Some nights, when I can tell he's very drowsy, I even leave the room before he falls asleep. I love this quality time with him as a full-time working mom. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I sing (or hum) to him and he must associate it with the bedtime routine because he always goes right back to sleep - and so do I.

Good luck! Don't forget to post to let us know what works for you!!

Try getting one of those vibrating heartbeat bears.... that worked for my daughter when she was a baby

R.

i know this is a totally random idea, but our son wakes up in the middle of the night crying. sitting up in bed crying, but half asleep. it's because he has to pee, or is wet.

i get up, let him pee on a little potty, and change him. he's asleep and dry and comfy before 10min is up. but, it's super hard to get up!

i wonder if the same thing with daycare is he's getting more aware of his diaper, and not liking to go in it - along with missing you?

dunno - but at 18m, we still don't let him cry it out. there's usually something wrong, even if it's only his lovie has fallen to the ground.

best luck

R.

He misses you and all the time you use to have with him. My son is the same age. Maybe you should look into cosleeping. Put a sideguard on your side of the bed, and put him next to that, then you then your husband on the other side of the bed. I hope you get it figured out. I remember my kids never slept good at night, or ate well during the day, because they were waiting for me, and wanting to spend time with me. Are you still nursing? That helped me to make up for lost time and bonding.