Support Groups for Adhd Parents

Updated on March 30, 2008
R.F. asks from Gretna, LA
21 answers

I have a 7 year old with ADHD/Impulsivity who has trouble focusing at school. He is on medication. Any suggestions on how to help him focus at school?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of the advice. For those of you who asked, he is on Focalin XR 20mg in the morning, and a short-acting 10mg dose of the same med in the afternoon. Many of you have also asked how my son was diagnosed. My grandfather, who my son was very close to, died when my son was 4 after a lengthy battle with cancer which I did not hide from him. I figured it was better to prepare him for my grandfather's passing, then to just have it happen to him. After Grampy died, my son started acting out, so I brought him to Children's Hospital here in New Orleans to see a child psychologist who did both intelligence testing on him and pyschological testing. My 4 yr old's, at the time, intelligence was that of a 7 yr old. It was the suggestion of the psychologist that we put him on meds, because like most parents, I reluctant to medicate my child. We have tried Ritalin, Stratera, Concerta, and the Daytrana patches. They all worked a little while, but, because of his high metabolism, he outgrew their effectiveness quickly. I know a lot of you have suggested diet changes instead of medication, I have tried that to no avail. His behavior only got worse. I am very happy with his meds and really would prefer not to have to take him off just yet. However, he is in counciling and our hope is to one day get him off of the meds and to learn to control the ADHD/Impulsivity without the medication. His grades are terrific, he just can't seem to focus long enough to get his classwork finished. His teacher and I communicate regularly about his conduct and effort. For that I am grateful and she is very cooperative about letting him leave class to take his afternoon meds. Without them, he wouldn't be able to make it through aftercare, homework time and home time before bed. There were a lot of great suggestions and I will consider them all and even discuss some with the teacher and administration at his school. Unfortunately though, I was told that because he is in private (prochial, or catholic) school, they are not required to be 504 compliant. They are working with me though, and as I said before, as long as he is making A's and B's, I really don't want to pull him out of the school he has been going to since he was 3 and put him somewhere new.

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Y.B.

answers from Pine Bluff on

The med should help him/her focus at school, what is he/she taking? Other than that I don't know. I have twins that are ADHD and their med keeps them focused. It also claims them down. They take Concerta, its easy on the stomic and works well for them.
Hope this helps.
Y. B

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M.W.

answers from Little Rock on

Children with ADHD frequently suffer from disordered sleep. The better their routine and sleep schedule, the better their response to their medication will be. At the age of 7, his bedtime should be no later than 8:30 with strict adherence to a bedtime routine. The routine should include removal of all screen stimulus for one hour before expecte time to sleep. That means, no computer, no video games, no hand held games an no televsion. It is not the content of what they see, it is actually the photic stimulation from the light that disrupts the initiation of sleep. Next, their breakfast should include a good balance between long lastin protein and some quick carbohydrate food. For instance, spaghetti and meatballs, peanut butter and jelly, grilled cheese and apple or orange juice (but make sure the juice is 100% juice without any additives. If his medication is any of the long acting stimulants, it should be given a good hour before he is expected to do productive school work. Also make sure that the morning has a strict schedule and routine so that there is no question of expectation of performance each morning. I have several other helpful hints and suggestions if you would like to give me more details and have a private response, I would be glad to help you out.

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L.R.

answers from Little Rock on

There are lots of tools that can be used at home and school: make sure all subject areas are very organized in folders and notebooks (therefore easy to locate and not get distracted or lost/frustrated), that there is not a lot for him to fidget with (extra pencils, markers, highlighters, erasers, ect.)but still keep them somewhere accessible for when needed (teacher/or coat cubby), where he is placed in the room, a recorder to record teacher and listen to later for notetaking/studying with you, notetaking skills for when older. There are many more suggestions but there is a website http://www.adhd.com/index.jsp you may find useful, there are separate entrances for you (parents), your child, doctor, or teacher . . . with lots of info on techniques to utilize. I hope this helps and good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi R.,

What tests were run to see that your son does have ADHD? What meds is he on? The reason I ask is because my grandson - now 10 - was "diagnosed" as ADHD just by the teacher and his mom filling out a questionnaire. He's been on Adderall, Concerta, and one other thing. The meds really messed him up making him into a zombie and when they wore off, he was unbelievably angry and strong and said his head felt like it was going to blow up - it hurt so bad. When I have him in the summer, he comes off all his meds (he's also asthmatic and has allergies). My little guy is NOT ADHD, the issue is with his diet. I get him off the sugar, dairy, and preservatives, give him supplements as he doesn't get enough of the right nutrients nor does he like vegetables, plus I've changed all my cleaning products.

Personally, I think kids are labeled too easily just so more money can be made. You can go to the following website and check to see what chemicals are in the things you use that your son may be reacting to as well look at what he's eating and drinking.

http://www.householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/ingredients.htm

Some chemical ingredients to look out for:
• Sodium hydroxide
• Hydrochloric acid
• Butyl cellosolve (2-Butoxyethanol)
• Formaldehyde
• Bleach (sodium hypochlorite)
• Ammonia
• Sulfamic acid
• Petroleum distillates
• Sulfuric acid
• Lye (potassium hydroxide)
• Morpholine

These are the cleaning products I now use:
http://www.GreenHealthyClean.com

I hope I have been of some help. God Bless.

PS I can also send you some testimonials from others with "ADHD" kids who have gone to "natural" rather than chemical help.

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B.R.

answers from New Orleans on

My godchild was diagianosed with adhd @ 6 years old they put her on medicine and come to find out they medicine just made her act out even more, and potty on herself @ schhol sometimes 6 times a day. Just becareful and do some research on the meds they him on. Good luck.

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B.G.

answers from Little Rock on

I am a Grandmother who recently got introduced to a product for health.I am also an R.N. My product which I am a distributor ,has had a lot of good response for ADHD . I CAN tell you more if you send me an answer back by e-mail ____@____.com.I also have my buisness listed on Mammasource Hope I can help you.BettyG

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K.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I haven't had any hands on experience with adhd myself but my neighbor of 2 years has a son who is about 10 years old and he has it so i will ask her without letting her know any of your business because to me it is not her business. I will just ask her and see what kind of helpful information if any that she has. If she gives me any info then i will message you and let you know what she says and hopefully it will help you out. Also don't forget to pray about because prayer changes everything no matter how big or small it will eventually change. It might not happen as fast as you want it to, but please believe it will change and it might even change it faster than you think it will. Trust me and just pray.

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N.S.

answers from Jonesboro on

Do you have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place with the school for him - don't know if that's what they call it down there. Talk with your behavioral therapist and find what works for him to focus (in my son's case, it is calming music) and implement that with the school - for instance, when he is having trouble focusing, the school gives him a time out to refocus utilizing the particular technique that works for him - in some cases, he may have to walk it off or something. I am also utilizing Theraputic Listening (specially designed music that my son listens to through headphones), that was implemented by his OT. He is 5 and has ADHD/ODD and mild aspergers. He isn't on meds yet, we have been lucky in that we can redirect, but he isn't in a full-time regular school setting yet.

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K.B.

answers from Birmingham on

R.,

If he is on medication, but still not focusing, then he might need a different medication or he might need a higher dosage. Your body can get more efficient at metabolizing the medicine and will need gradual increases in the first year and beyond.

Also, ADD/ADHD people tend to be on the higher IQ side of life. Is ihe in a program that is challenging enough for him?

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K.S.

answers from Tulsa on

I also have a child with ADHD. It has been a battle with the school system because I refuse to put her on medication. Does your child have a 504 in place at school? There has to be modifications for learning. Visit with the school counselor and have them come up with a plan that helps your child succeed. My daughter has an agenda where she writes down the days assignments. As she completes each assignment the teacher checks it off. The agenda comes home with my child with any assignments that need to be completed. We do the homework, I check it off and sign the agenda. I feel very fortunate that the teacher and I communicate weekly if not daily by email. Its a full time job keeping my child organized but whatever it takes we do it. What medication does your child take? How long has he been on it? Is there any difference since he has been on it? What are the side effects? Does he have the same behaviors at home?

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T.N.

answers from Jonesboro on

I also have a 7 year old with ADHD. I would suggest having a therapist work with him/her at school. We just started this. They can pull out for group and individual therapy. I would suggest sending a soft ball to school that he/she can have in hand to help with distraction. Also, putting velcro under the desk will help because the child can feel the velcro and cause them to not move around as much and help be more focused. The med's only go so far. Alot of positite praise for the good behaviors will help the child have more better behaviors and less bad impusle problems.

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M.S.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't know of any support groups, but I would call the office of Pitt's and Associates and ask if there are any in Birmingham. Bert Pitts is a psychologist and does wonderful work with kids. My son was ADHD back in the 80's when material was just being written about the disorder. Those of us who have REALLY dealt with it, KNOW it is a REAL condition!!! I bought books on it for all the teachers at his school, because they were NOT educated on ADHD. They still thought these kids were just misbehaving. These kids DO NOT like the feeling of being out of control, but it's SO FRUSTRATING to parent them. One of the best things I ever learned from a child psychologist, was to NEVER tell my son he was a "bad boy," but to say..."You are such a GOOD BOY...Why are you choosing to act this way." Or .......... "You make so many good choices, what made you choose to make this one?" And .........FOLLOW THROUGH on your threats. These kids are so smart and they NEED to know consequences. I was so afraid that my son woudl grow up with a bad self image and he really was a sweet person..........just NON STOP active (bad temper too). I also got him a punching bag which was a great help..........all the way through high school. It's a great outlet for the anger energy. He agrees that it was a great help.
Today my son and his wife find out if they are having a boy or a girl...(their first) and he says, "Mom.....I am soooo dead." :) He is anticipating an "active one" like him. I told him that everything will be fine.... and that I am here and will help them with anything they encounter. He remains a wonderful adult (very empathetic and kind). I tell him that HE WAS WORTH ALL OF THE WORK!!! I'm very proud of him. Finding good, healthy outlets (not tv) for these excess energy is the key. Good luck and know that you are NOT alone!!!!!
ks

J.W.

answers from New Orleans on

i work for a company started by a single mom who had children with adhd, juvenile diabetes, allergies and more!! her son who has adhd could not be medicated b/c he also has a heart condition. she dealt with a lot of it through diet - he could not have things like msg, food dyes, additives or preservatives. long story short - the food she was making out of necessity became wanted by all as it was better for everyone! please feel free to ask me any questions and check out www.jenwarr.mywildtree.com for more info. i offer mamasource specials too!!
J.
thanks!

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J.M.

answers from Shreveport on

Set up a reward system. He gets a sticker for everyday that he does good at school and after so many is rewarded by a trip to the park or zoo, etc. Also, around your home find things for your child to do in given time limits, like cleaning his room, helping you do laundry, reading a book, coloring a picture, etc. If your child feels he's being given attention for doing good things and you can make it the difference in good attention and bad obvious to your child it may help some. Just an idea, I have a close friend who's little girl has AD/HD as well.

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P.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi R..
My son was diagnosed this year with ADD. We use a combination of medication (for calming/focus) and therapy (for behavior modification). We have also incorporated Omega3 supplements into his routine. We are having good results with all, but it has been a slow process.
For my child, without these "aids", we are unable to really assist him in focusing or good behavior since information just doesn't goes in like with "normal" kids (I have 3 others).
We were VERY hesitant to medicate our son. It wasn't until we had exhausted every other possibility and went through testing that we made the leap.
We are also blessed to have a great psychiatrist and LPC walking through this journey with us.
Good luck, R. & let me know if you need info about the OKC/Edmond area.

W.Q.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi R.,
My name is W. and I have a 15 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5. We spent the first year trying vitamins, minerals, music therapy, color therapy, diet changes, aromatherapy, you name it we tried it. The ones we still use today are color therapy (avoid red colors they are stimulants), aromatherapy (vanilla scented plug ins work the best for a constant scent in his room and through-out the house)and have added medication. We tried Ritalin first and that was inaffective so we tried Clonodine. It worked best in the patch form because it was then released in a low dosage constantly. It also had very few side effects. We had to stop when his skin got to sensitive for the patch.

I suggested to his teachers to avoid red and provided them with a plug-in and vanilla scented inserts for his classroom. Soft music also helped but that wasn't an option at school.

He has since been diagnosed with Bi-polar and Asperger's Syndrome and it's a whole different ball game now.

I do have a suggestion though for a support group for you...call Wraparound Tulsa at ###-###-#### and they can either suggest a group for you or reffer you to another help center. We have been approved for the services that Wraparound provides, in home counseling and a mentor for our son. Maybe you could get some help through them also. It is a free service but you have to go through an application process first.

Good luck
W. Q

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R.H.

answers from Birmingham on

I grew up with a brother who was ADHD. Just recently on the
today show they were talking about how food coloring can contribute to ADHD and ADD. It was very interesting. Try and keep him off sugar and sodas as much as possible. And they were showing candy with dye's in it such and lemon heads
and my brother loved lemon heads and Red Hots! I would look at some natural ways to help prevent the ADHD befor medicating. You could go to a book store and get some literature on it. You have to keep them busy. They get bored quick and are usually very intelligent. Get him to help you and dad out around the house and sports help direct some of that energy. As long as you know how to deal with it its alot easier. You can tell my brother something 5 times and it might go in one ear and out the other. Focusing is hard for them to do. Try not to get to angry at him. It use to drive my mom crazy! Until she found out how to deal. But that was 20 years later after he was out of the house. Good Luck!

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R.F.

answers from New Orleans on

Please make sure he has an accurate diagnosis. While I am not one of those people that believe it doesn't exist, I do agree that it is sometimes over-diagnosed and misdiagnosed.

Then our child needs to be placed in 504 so that he can receive accommodations. These accommodations usually include repeated directions, preferential seating, and test read aloud. This is a federal law and if your child's school receives federal funds they must accommodate under act 1120. These accommodations are especially important when it comes to high stakes testing.

Make sure you constantly communicate with your child's teacher. It is easier than ever to do this because of computers. Kids with ADD need immediate consequences or rewards, so a quick e-mail may get his attention. Let his teacher know what you are doing at home such as a reward system so that he knows you are working together. She can just make a quick note and initial it and you can do the same.

If you are going to try medication you may want to try the non-stimulants first. From what I am told they are better. I tried them with my son, but unfortunately they didn't work for long. Talk to your Doctor about the different types of medicines.

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G.Q.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi I have a 7 year old that is not on anything, has troble focusing and I am tring other things. I first was using focas factor kids chewables, he took it for a long time, it was helping and now he says it taste like fish, so I went to the GNC and got the Omega 3 soft chews for $20 they taste like starburst and smell pretty good too we are going to see how this works so far the teacher seems to be saying he is doing good so you might try it. We got a list of focus foods off the internet and he is such a picky eater I could not get him to eat Tuna or Lima beans or the other foods on the list. So I am trying to use the Omega 3 for now Let me no how it goes. He has not been tested. I really think I will try other things before meds Dont like um much.

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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

I have no experience with this, so please take this from someone who knows nothing about the disorder. I have heard a lot of great things about children being on a gluten free diet. As a loving mom, I am sure you would try anything (as long as it couldn't hurt your child). there is usually an entire section at the grocery store of gluten free products. Don't underestimate the power of diet and what we allow into our bodies. It is amazing to me the conditions that seem to be around for children that were not so prevelant 30 years ago. Anyway, I hope you find what works for your child. Perhaps yoga might help him as well. I do not mean to come across as flakey. I do not know how severe his ADHD is.
I also wanted to add...I know a mother who raised a son with ADHD and she was always worried about his future. She was concerned about what kind of career he would have if he couldn't focus. Well, he grew up to have a real incredible knack for entrepreneurship. He is doing incredibly well and she credits the fact that he cannot focus on one thing too long for his ability to have his hand in so many different businesses. He has a beautiful family and he married someone that is similar in personality. Its truly amazing what they accomplish together.

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B.W.

answers from Little Rock on

Hi R. my name is Becky. My son was HDLD when he was little. He will soon be 31 yrs old. Our Dr put our son on Ritalin and he only took it while he was at school, not on the
weekends or when school was out. The best thing I came up with
was to give a few problems at a time to work on because his
attention span was as short as my small fingernail. I would do the chores the same way. He could focus on a few things at a time and when he got them done, we praised him and that really made him feel good. But I will tell you the best thing
that really helped him, was when he got saved. He was a totally different young man. God works in mysterious ways. Hope some of this helps.
GOD BLESS,
Becky

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