Support While Trying to Concieve

Hi D.- I don't have any book suggestions, but something that helped me when I was going through my infertility struggle was to see a hypnotherapist. I was skeptical, but after the first visit (where we focused on trying to reduce tension/anger, such as when I was driving my car) both my husband and myself noticed a huge difference in my frame of mind.

I did about 3 visits total, and ended up getting pregnant in between the 2nd and 3rd visit. To this day, I really think it helped by allowing me to relax and let go of a lot of the tension, anxiety and depression that built up because of the fertility issues.

Best of luck to you...

Just out of curiosity, are you taking prenatals with Femera? And have you taken ovulating tests to see when exactly you're ovulating? Before I got pregnant with my first I had a miscarriage, but when we decided to try again my doctor suggested taking prenatals. It gives your body the nutrients and minerals you need to carry a baby. We were pregnant the following month. I also took an ovulating test to see when exactly my body was ovulating. I was on track, but my friend did the same thing and found out she ovulated later than she thought.
It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be pregnant. Take some time to relax and calm down and just enjoy your life and time spent with your family. I always turned to sites like http://www.babycenter.com and http://www.parents.com for any questions I had and of course this one because I felt much better knowing other moms are or have experienced the same thing you're going through. And, there's an abundance of support. It'll happen, just try to be patient and relax.

Ugh, I hear ya D.. I know exactly what you are going through. I used to get so annoyed during my fertility problems when people would say, "just relax...it'll happen". When they had no clue what I was going through. When you are at a point where you are counting cycle days month after month, its impossible to NOT stress about the "schedule" and focus on it every day. (almost time...its TIME...please, please let it work this month...sigh, maybe next month) And the process definitely takes all the fun out of trying, it turns into a business deal with a deadline! And when we went through it, we didn't have to do the whole flying thing, which makes the stakes even higher for you guys. I feel for you. I never did find a support group or look online for discussions, because I would probably focus on it and stress even more (jealous of something that worked for someone, etc). Its kind of laughable, but I took comfort in knowing that unless people had been through it themselves, they meant well, but had no idea what they were talking about. And I just dismissed anything they had to say. So I'm not going to tell you to relax, or take a vacation, or eat shrimp, or drink orange pekoe tea, etc. My best advice would be (and I don't even know if this had anything to do with our eventual success or not) to do something that makes you happy. Whether it is exercise, or gardening, or crafting, or reading..whatever makes you happy-find the time to do it. Not because it will help you to get pregnant, but because it will take your mind off of everything, if only temporarily, and put you in a better state of mind to deal with the process. And not believe everything you hear (I was told I had a 1% chance of conceiving even with all of the big gun fertility treatments...I have 2 beautiful children) and understand that the journey is different for everyone. What works for some, might not work for others. So hang in there, kiddo...and take some time for yourself.

You might see if there are any local support groups. When I started treatments at a fertility clinic there was information about a peer support group that I found to be helpful.

Good luck!

I absolutely empathize and understand!!! It is soo frustrating to want something and try so hard and it not go as you had hoped. I hated to complain because I already had a child and realized some others didn't, but that didn't mean I didn't want another child any less if that makes sense..... It is stressful and hard not to become emotional on occasion.

For me, I felt like if I was being proactive in some way, it relived the stress. I guess, I couldn't control whether or not I got pregnant, so I grasped for some bit of control where I could find it. I like you, did lots of online reading,, but never really found an online group I consistently stuck with, even though there are some really good ones out there. I did really like the book "Tao of Infertility" and because of the book started accupuncture which really reduced my stress level overall and was a very positive experience.

It is okay to pine because this is maternal instinct kicking in and it is important to you!!! Just try to stay as upbeat as you can and hang in there!!

I have not gone through this, but two of my sisters have. They both have a form of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Sorry - that is the only glossary term I will use...
My younger sister found that her cycles were noticeably more regular when she got regular exercise. She learned that keeping your blood sugar regulated actually effects your cycle in a positive way. More exercise = healthier menstrual cycles. Less sugar in your diet = more regular monthly cycles.
Not sure if this will help, but it is not rocket science. And the side effect of less sugar and more exercise is you will probably feel better mentally, too.

Good luck, and don't forget to live your current life while striving for your new one!!

J.

hello
fertilityover40.com is a good website. granted you are NOT over 40.. however, MANY MANY women on there who are struggling just as you are and who can relate to your story.... and then some.. you might want to check it out..
Many of those women have experience with Femara, clomid and IVF.. you name it... it's a pretty broad based website..
worth a look into..
best of luck to you

I, too, had fertility problems...years ago...my two children are 29 and 17 now. The second one we adopted and I got pregnant within months after adopting him. My mind wasn't focused on one thing and it helped me relax. I lost that baby, and three others during my fertile years. I simply had a inhospitable uterous. The one child who did survie arrived at 7 months.and she was my little miracle baby. 3 1/2 pounds. She now is 29 and has blessed us with 3 grandchildren. But I digress.

I had a friend who went to a chiropractor for her fertility problems and was pregnant within 3 months. She now has two little girls and she claims it was the chiropractor.

Good luck on your journey...find something to do to occupy your mind...I started doing counted cross-stitching...and my attention was redirected for awhile. What ever works for you.

Blessings,
W.

Just to relate, my sister spent 2 years trying to get pregnant. Of course during that time I got pregnant and had my 2nd child, which she was wonderful about but I know she was hurting and stressed. She went to a specialist and started fertility drugs with intrauterine insemination which failed. She was a mess. She cried, she counted days, and most of her friends were pregnant. Everyone told her to stop worrying, relax, and it would happen which she resented.

Well long story short, she planned a huge trip to Costa Rica with her husband in January. She needed to get away. They planned white water rafting, waterfall rappelling, and camping in the rainforest. A couple weeks before the trip she found out she was pregnant!! It was the first time in 2 years that she hadn't been thinking about getting pregnant because she was focused on the trip. They still went and had a blast. Of course they spent all their money and are now stressing about having a baby.

So hang in there, try to do somethig big that will take your mind off all this. You're defnitely not alone, and just because some women have it harder than you doesn't mean that what you're going through is easy.

You should be able to find some online support groups. I know there are a couple at ivillage.com
M.

It's so hard. It took us 4 years of trying before we tried IVF and we were lucky it worked on the first try. Relaxing didn't work. I got really tired of hearing people telling me to relax and I really started to hate that basil thermometer and charting my cycle, and my husband almost got to the point where he felt sex was becoming a chore. When we went to the fertility specialist, it turned out we had multiple problems to overcome on my side and on my husbands side. We never could have gotten pregnant without help. I never went on birth control after we had our son, and hoped another baby might be possible, but we just can't get pregnant on our own. Once we were pregnant, we had no troubles, and our son is our pride and joy. I feel for you. Hang in there best you can. Good luck!

Wow, you sound JUST like me!!! We have been trying for over a year now and to no avail :( for the first year we just tried ourselves and said oh we are in our mid and late 20's so I am sure it will just happen... Only it didn’t. So after convincing my OBGY that we needed to run test we found out that I am insulin resistant and my testosterone levels were sky high... I am now on my 3rd month of metformin, I am exercising and eating right and taking my vitamins too... Only still nothing :( I feel like such a whiner too, especially because my hubby keeps telling me all in Gods time honey all in Gods time... I am a believer and I know this to be true. But just yesterday my best friend announces that she is preggo with # 4... I almost fell to the floor.... Anyhow I have searched and searched all over for support sites or books and really this is the best one I have found... having women who have gone or who are going through "stuff" really helps.... I will be praying for you... I am here to talk if you need a friend who is right there with ya sister....

I found peace with myself and trying to get pregnant by readyng bible and knowing that evrything is in Gods hands and if God wants me to have another child, then I will. Instead of stressing out about having more kids, I just look at my 3 y.o son and think how blessed I am to have such a cute and handsome little boy! Since now Im at peace with that, I enjoy my son a lot more. I dont know of any other support groups for coping with that...but I hope my storry helps. :)

Many hugs to you! Have you read, _Taking Charge of Your Fertility_? It is a great book re TTC. When I was going through fertility treatments, there was a great online site called The Labor of Love, and they had a board for ladies doing treatments. Everyone was really supportive. The boards are now gone, but you can still find journals here: http://www.thelaboroflove.com/
Also, if you go to the Labor of Love alumni site on Facebook, you'll find some very helpful people who will help you with your questions. Feel free to send questions my way, too.