Switching Daycare Advice

I went through a similar situation with my daughter when she was 2-3. The preschool/daycare I sent her to just did not meet my expectations and the things they had told me would happen. I was nervous to tell the director, but I don't think lying should ever be an option. The last 2 years my daughter has been waiting for the school bus at that preschool and I have had to wait with the director so I am glad I did not lie or I could not have handled seeing her every day. If you are in a small community or a large one you never know when you may run into those same people. The truth may be hard to explain, but it's always good to be honest.

Not sure what kind of a notice they require, but I wouldn't tell them ahead of time if at all possible. When you pick up your daughter on a Friday, tell them that you have other arrangements lined up and you will not be coming back but will be paying the fee for the two weeks (or whatever) notice. Act like it isn't really a big deal, be ultra polite and positive. Have something in writing that is short but states your intentions. Don't "overshare", if you have to just repeat the same sentance if they keep asking questions (something like, "It's time for us to move on and we've made other arrangements"). Smile and thank them for "being so professional and understanding about this" before they have a chance to react, which may remind them of how they should act. Maybe even give them a little gift your child "made" them as a goodbye. How can they get upset when you do something like that! ;)

You are the mom, the boss. You know what is best for your child. They got paid for what they did and you owe them no more than that.

I'd check the parent handbook-- if you have to give 2 weeks notice, you'll have to decide if you think she'll be safe there after you have given notice. I might just pay it and not send her, if I can afford it-- just depends on how bad you really think the situation is. Good luck finding another place. In PA, we have a Star system the state uses to rate daycares-- maybe NJ does too?

Check your contract with them, some daycare centers have a fine for withdrawing with out notice since it gives them no time to fill the space and keep the income level steady to cover operating costs.

Do they have some kind of requirement needing notice? Are they holding some deposit over your head for not giving notice? If you truly fear neglect of your child (I wouldn't worry about guilt) I wouldn't give them notice until you pick her up on the last day to let them know. But if they're that bad of a place that you worry about neglect, take her out now and take some time off work until she can start the new center. Your child's safety is more important. You owe them nothing as they're your employee. You're paying them a fee to care for your child. If you feel they'll neglect your child if you give them notice then don't tell them. Or you can lie and tell them you hate to leave but someone is coming to your home to watch your child. Do or say whatever you need to.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Hello!,
Your child's growth, and welfare is more important than the feelings of the preschool.
My daughter just removed my granddaughter from a preschool as recently as last week, because she was actually regressing in her development. This school touted their virtues as being a preparatory for kindergarten, not true.
What I observed is that the teachers were very young, perhaps in their very early 20's, and clearly not experienced enough.
Not only did my granddaughter regress, she came home with obvious injuries from other children who were not disciplined. In my opinion, unruly or undesired behavior needs to be redirected to a positive activity. This I did not see at this school, nor did I see anything other than what you had described as glorified babysitters.
Forget about a guilt trip.... Upon investigation, we have learned from the administration of the kindergarten where we will be sending my granddaughter, that the children who came from this particular school had the lowest test scores! The highest test scores came from Chesterbrook Academy, this is what we were told.
You made the right decision to remove your child from this "school". I wonder if it is the same one my granddaughter attended, as they have "different rooms" for infants, toddlers, and so on, also. Hmmmmm.
Good luck!

If you have a space secure in a new facility, just put in your notice. Most places require two weeks, just check your contract or parent handbook.

We have had the same issue with our daycare. The center my daughter attended was great when she was an infant, but the toddler room just wasn't up to par. They tried very hard to accomodate us and we waited to move her until she could join the center we have on-site at my work. It's a difference of night and day!

I was nervous about the switch, but really, neither she or we ever looked back!
Good luck!

Hi, Kim:

My suggestion is to hold the daycare center accountable for their actions. Think about the other mothers and their children. You can do it in a restorative way by writing a letter in this format:

1. Tell them what you have told us.
2.Tell them what you think about when you realizedewhat was going on.
3. Tell them what impact this realization has had on you and others. ( you can say what the people on this list has responded to you)
4. Tell them what the hardest thing has been fo you.
5. Tell them what you think needs to happen to make things right.

By doing this, you hold them accountable, help the other parents and children and they have an opportunity to change.

Just a thought. This is what I am learning in Restorative Practices.
www.iirp.org

Good luck. D.

I have to agree in this case-- you dont HAVE to tell them she's leaving until the last day you pick her up. If you feel uncomfortable you can always make up an excuse about moving or changing jobs. To be honest, when we switched my son's daycare (for similar reasons, though nothing blatant) I just told them my sister moved to town and would be taking care of him full time from then on... Okay, okay, total lie, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings because these really were well-meaning people, but I also didn't want to keep him in a sub-par setting. Well, good luck with everything, but yeah- don't tell them too far in advance. I don't think there are any laws stating you have to tell your daycare center in advance that you're switching.

I have a home daycare and I disagree with some of the other mommas replies. First, your daughter has been attending for several months now, you obviously aren't happy with the level of care and you have every right to switch to a different daycare. However, I think you owe it to the daycare to sit down and at least attempt to have a genuine conversation with the director. Outline your concerns and why you are switching. Unless they are aware of your feelings, they likely won't change anything. Perhaps they will make at least a few small changes that would benefit all the children in their care. If you feel it is necessary, wait to have the conversation on your last week there.

You have likely signed an agreement that would include 2 weeks notice or payment for 2 weeks. I would be very surprised if this wasn't included in your agreement. The daycare is likely counting on a set number of children to meet expenses.

What were you expecting in terms of care for an infant? There is only so much that can be done when caring for a number of infants at one time. Cuddling, diaper changes, feeding and some basic play time is about all that one caregiver has time for, feeding infants is time consuming, and there were likely 3 babies per caregiver. I understand you are expecting more as your baby is growing and developing. It seemed that too many mommas were overly critical of the daycare, if you feel I am wrong, why would you have left your daughter in that daycare for more than a year.

I would just let them know the last day - with enough advance notice, as per your contract. I did this, and the daycare just assumed that I was going to stay home, and I didn't bother to correct their false assumption. If they ask you why you are leaving, tell them you don't have time to discuss it on the spot, but that you'd be happy to schedule a meeting with them on your daughter's last day. You can talk about your reasons for changing daycares at that time.

Just be vague and say that you decided to make a change for the fall, and ask if you need to give written notice, etc. Then, maybe the last day, request a meeting with the director, and explain yourself, if you care to. I'm waffling on this, too, since I'm not sure it really matters that I tell current facility the real reasons why we're withdrawing. Maybe if you have a relationship with the director, you could tell him/her in an informational, exit-interview way. Not in an accusing, angry, "you blew it" way, if that makes sense.

They don't need to know how unhappy you are, just cheerfully announce your daughter's last day and say how much you loved it there. If you really think your daughter could be in danger, don't give any notice, just pull her after the last day you paid for.