Switching Schools, Private to Public School, Switching at Start of 3Rd Grade

I'm a teacher, and think that I may be able to help you. Schools are usually pretty good about this kind of thing. If you go in and talk with the school counselor, he/she may be able to give you some assistance. They can do things like set up a group of kids, from the first day, that may have similar interests. Also, when you find out who her teacher will be, they will do the same thing if you just ask. If you are able to find out some of the names of those kids ahead of time, you can call their parents and set-up a play date. And, take her to the school once in awhile to get her accustomed to it if need be. There are some great kids books out there as well that she can read with you so you have a chance to talk about it as well. I hope that this helps!

Do you know who her teacher will be? I would try to get in contact with the parents of the children who will be in her class and try to schedule playdates with them over the summer. If the school can't/won't put you in touch with your daughter's future classmates, I would take out an ad in the paper asking to schedule playdates with other third graders who will be attending this school. I'll bet there are a bunch of other parents who would love to participate in something like that!

My daughter is 7 now but we started her in a small private school when she was 3 and LOVED it. Now that she is in 1st grade we had to switch her to public schooling & none of her old friends were in her new class room. She didnt like it for the 1st couple of weeks, but now she is friends with all the little girls in her class. And now has a BFF in there also & they spend time together on the weekends & even call each other on the phone hehe. I don't remember talking on the phone with friends at that age, but it helped them build a relationship. And now she is doing GREAT. I grew up in a family that MOVED ALOT so I was switched around alot and I made ALOT of friends that way. I think she will be fine moving to a new school. It is always weird the first couple of days till you make new friends but I always survived & I was VERY SHY.......

I don't know of any special tricks to make the transistion smoother, but I wanted to say that I had to switch schools in the middle of 2nd grade. I know what it's like. I adjusted very quickly even though I was afraid and didn't want to leave my friends. Since she already has friends that she can still see outside of school, I think it will be even easier. She won't feel all alone all the time at first. At that young age, they make friends so quickly. I think it's easier than when they get older, so I really don't think you need to worry. She will have a new best friend within a week, I bet!

Although we've never gone from private to public school, we have switched schools in the middle of the year, or a new one in the fall. We went from Kinderkarten at one school to first grade at another (in the same town), then halfway through first grade, we moved out of state. Basically what we did is talked to our son about it a lot, and the changes that were going to come, to get him more used to it. He's still young enough, and flexible enough, that he can make new friends easily, and he can still talk to some of his old friends from previous schools. It's especially nice if you're still in the same town, so you can set up play dates with your daughter's old friends. Just make sure you include her in some planning activities, shopping for new clothes, and allow her to have some choices as far as lunch and after-school activities go. That should help ease the strain.

Hi F....
What a change going from private to public...Wow! That's going to be a big adjustment for everyone.
Does the public school offer any clubs or groups for after school? ie, chess club, brownies, dance/gymnastics/cheer, soccer, etc. This could be a good start.
Even though she will be making new friends, she should definitely continue to "hang out" with the ones she knows, even the ones from the private school she now attends. It will help that "homesick" feeling that comes with big changes. And continue these friendships after she starts at the new school.
Another thought is to really bulk up your relationship with her. This is a great time to make it a serious priority for one on one time with her. She'll need you as her rock thru this and it's never too early to take it to the next level with her.
A side thought for her education; the level she's been at in the private school will be way ahead of where she is going in the public school. That's just how it is when you compare private v public schools. I've worked with both systems and there are HUGE differences by these grades. I would highly recommend checking out any type of "Gifted/Talented", "Highly Capable" or "Challenge" programs in the school she will be attending. Hopefully you will be able to work with school counselors or those in charge of these programs to see if she can be tested into these programs if they've already done the testing for next school year. If she qualifies (tests) into these types of programs, she will make a much faster adjustment knowing that the kids in her classes will be "like minded" as she is.
I really wish you luck in this.
Take care!
A.

Hi F.- Due to divorce/grad.school/moving ETC, my son(8) has changed schools EVERY year (I know, ugh) He is SOOOO resilient though, and makes friends well....he is at Brattain in S-field now(it's GREAT, I was surprised)
He eventually lost interest in the "old" friends....but one way I reassured him was to continue play dates ETC...they're getting to this age developmentally where they can "discuss" their respective lives and share stories when they come together....so it can be fun!!!
and hey, this sounds like it's really hard on YOU mama, but it'll be fine....we never want to hurt our kids, but sometimes these changes have to happend and are for the best....and you know, the reality is that our kids need to learn skills, specifically the ability to adapt in new situations and "self soothe"- it builds confidence!!!
Blessings to you and your fam.!!!
L

The school which my 2nd grade daughter attends has the students meet the next years teacher and students a couple of weeks before the end of the school year. They've decided on the class roster before the end of the year. It might help if you asked the school to allow your daughter to attend that get together. If that's not possible the school's office should be able to put you in touch with her new teacher and some of her classmates if you contact them before the teacher's last day and the office closes for the summer.

I think it's an excellent idea to put your daughter together with students in her grade at her new school. You should be able to get a copy of her new classroom's class roster.

I'm assuming you know which school she will attend. If you live in the same neighborhood as the school (assuming the change is not the result of you also moving into a different home)you could talk with your neighbors who have children and get your daughter involved with their kids. Also go to the playground in the summer. In our school, parents or nannies take children to the playground often.

Ideally your daughter could go to the same private school that she's in now. I'm also assuming that's not possible. My daughter attended the same grade school all 5 years and middle school connected to that grade school 3 years. Being able to do this helped build confidence and a sense of belonging. I adopted her and so the first 6 years of her life were chaotic to say the least. And she needed this firm foundation.

If your daughter doesn't have the handicap of tumultuous early years and isn't extremely shy, she will probably adjust quickly with help from you.

Contacting the new school early will be a big help for you. Perhaps you could arrange for your daughter and a friend to visit in the current 2nd grade class. That way she will meet some of the students and know a little about the school. And then you could arrange play dates with those kids during this school year. The usual way that my daughter arranges playdates for my granddaughter is to send her phone # home with the child with whom my granddaughter wants to play. Now that she's in the second grade she writes her own note. Then the parents talk.

Perhaps you can get permission from the shcool to send home a brief note introducing your family and asking their child to get to know your child. You could meet on the playground or in a park so that everyone gets to know each other. In foul weather you could meet at a community center gymn or a child focused restaurant such as Peanut Butter and Jelly's.

I'm glad that you're starting early to help your daughter get acclimated to a new school.

I think the best thing to do is to make sure that the old friends are not 'lost' My boy made some very tight friendships in preschool - the children that he was with from infanthood until pre-K. Now he's in third grade, and those same 5 children he refers to as his 'golden friends', and they still get together regularly.

At the end of the school year, the parents of the 'golden friend' group all got together and had a party (with the kids of course) and assured the kids that we would continue to have gatherings and playdates on a regular basis - and then followed up!

It worked well, and I am glad we did it.

best of luck.

I switched from private to public when I was in 4th grade. Just reasure her that she will make new friends and she can still keep in contact with the old ones.

R.