Taking Away the Pacifier, Bottle Etc.

When my daughter started this I got her a few sippy cups and let her know that she now is a big girl and bottles are for babies. It didn't take long before she asked for her sippies instead of her bottles. She loves to use cups now with straws and no longer wants her bottles or sippies. With the pacifiers I just took them away and hid them til she was asleep for a nap and then threw them away when she started looking for them I told her that they had to go "bye-bye" and that was the end of it she never asked for them again now she runs to get her brother's bottles and pacifiers so that he can have them and never tries to use them she knows she is a big girl and has her own things.
When I needed to get her into a bed instead of her crib I let her pick it out and "help" us put it together when it came. I then took her crib down and let her say "bye" to it and she hasn't wanted to get in her brother's. She loves to play on her new bed and show it to all her aunts, uncles and grandparents. She tells her brother that the bed is her's and he can't get on it.

My advice on the Bottle is " Don't take it away. " My youngest is 4 1/2 and has a Bottle with Milk every morning and every evening. Sucking on a Bottle comforts him and get's him to bed easier because he knows, Bottle - brush teeth - go sleep. Also the Calcium he get's will benefit him for life.
On the Parcifier try to make her feel like the important big girl. Big girls don't need Parcifiers, they are for Babys ! If they feel grown up and important it's easier to let go of these things. Try this with the Potty too. Good Luck.

Go cold turkey w/ the bottle and pacifier. If your daughter is not having panty problems @ school but @ home, then's she's playing your emotions b/c she knows it works. Also try a litle more time away fr them. I had a great support system when my dauther was born and when she was just a few wks old, I started leaving her w/ someone even for just a few hrs. She rarely gets clingy w/ me and I value my time w/ her more! Margaret

Hi B.!

I am a Mom of 3 and my youngest is 1. My question for you is can you get your 1 year old off the bottle? I think earlier is better with little ones. My daughter turned one a week ago and has been off the bottle for 2 months. She drinks well from a straw so we switched to straw cups. No transition, just switched out the bottles. Sometimes we had to hold her when she drank from a cup so she wouldn't tip it like a bottle. So I would suggest bottles being gone for everyone! Then your older child won't see the little one with it and want one. Then when baby comes in a few months bottles will be a distant memory.
The pacifier suggestions are good! I would at least explain to her that the pacifier is going away. If they just disappear it could be traumatic. Make her a part of getting rid of the pacifiers. She may surprise you! You may want to do bottles first then when she is good with that THEN get rid of the pacifier. Dr. Brazelton says that kids don't go to college with a pacifier so he tends not to worry about what age to let them go. My oldest had his until he was 3. My middle girl sometime when she was 2 and my baby never took a pacifier!
The diapers you just need to stop too. Tell her she is a big girl, have her pick out new fancy underwear and just say NO to pull ups or diapers.
The crib too. Tell her it's time for her new big bed! Make sure the room is safe. Set a good routine (bath, teeth brush, book, bed). Lay her in bed and give her a couple safe books she can look at to help keep her in bed instead of getting up. If she gets up just go in every 10 - 15 minutes. Lay her down and tell her "good night". It will take time. Just stick to the routine and she will get into that.
She can't wear a diaper unless you put it on her. She can't have a bottle unless you make it for her. She can't sleep in a bed unless you put her there. These are all hard transitions. The sooner you can do them the better. You just need to make the decision to change and go for it! And STICK to it!! It's hard, tears will be shed, but you can do it! And all of your family will be better off for it. Good luck!

Just remember you are the parent and what you say goes. Transition one thing at a time. My daughter never used a pacifier but my brothers middle child did and what they did was made a big deal about her not needing it but the baby birds did and they had this ceremony where she/they gave her pacifiers to the baby birds over the fence :) She was fine w/in 2 days.

It would be confusing for a child to wear underwear at daycare and pullups at home. The best age for potty training a girl is 2 and 1/2 years old so I say go for it. Put away the pull ups they just make the training process longer, switch to undies at home too.

Thats why they say the bottle needs to go by the time they are 1 years old. Her baby sister should be done w/ the bottle too and on to sippy cups. Have them both use strictly sippy cups and put up the bottles until your newborn comes, it sounds like you are nursing too so maybe bottles won't be an issue w/ the newborn for awhile.

Everything needs to be done one at a time until they are through the transition. Keep the crib until the last thing to transition from. It will just be too difficult.

The tantrums are going to happen. And possibly for awhile since she is used to getting her way when she throws a tantrum. You just have to commit yourself to your decision and move on.

One suggestion for getting your child off her pacifier: Cut the tops off the pacifiers and "act like" you don't know who did it or what happened, it just broke! I had read this somewhere when my son was little and it worked great! He was about 1 1/2 years old when we got him off. Wait until they ask for it or want it, then just hand them the cut off pacifier. Then when they put it in their mouth, they quickly realize "it's broken"! My son did and said, my paci's broke and threw it down! That was it. He asked for it a couple of times later, but we reminded him that it was broken and he was fine!!! You'll need to make sure there's no pacifiers laying around that aren't "broken" that she can get to.

As for the bottle, she is much too old to be drinking from a bottle and it really is imperative that you just get rid of them. Stress to her that those are for babies and she's a big girl now. Maybe get a special cup or a special straw or something fun that only big girls drink out of. She is just regressing for attention it sounds. Keep emphasizing how she is the big sister and how you need her to help.

The diaper and potty training, good luck, girl! What an expense having three in diapers would be!!!!! She'll go to the bathroom when she's ready. She's obviously able to b/c she does it, but it's just that regression thing again. Really getting her to help do small things that help you might help her feel important. She's just vying for that attention from mommy. It's going to be really difficult with three b/c they are all so demanding. Rewards worked great for my two.

The bed is a big challenge. Because once they're in a big girl bed, then they're free to get out and come get in the bed with you during the night! That's what happened with us and we endured this for many nights/years! But she needs to be out of the crib. Her new baby sister needs a place to sleep. Maybe she could sleep in the same room with the baby so she can "help" when the baby wakes up at night. (not really, but she'll think that)

You have got to take charge of her now or she'll bring you so much pain later. You are the adult. God gave you these beautiful girls to raise. They are wonderful blessings, but challenges, too. You definitely have your hands so full right now! Good luck...

Every child is different and solutions depend on the maturity and temperment of the child. I would say change one thing at a time. Pick the ONE thing that is the MOST important to accomplish NOW. The bed maybe? That could be the easiest with the other things in place. Does she have her own room? I would make the room safe and put a baby gate across the doorway. You never really now until you are doing it if it will work.

I would probably go with bottles next. When does she use them?What size are they? What does she have in them? My #3 would drink from a cup but had to have milk in a bottle. That was just how he liked it. You could cold turkey her or you could start making the bottle less appealing. Use smaller bottles and only put water in them. If she wants juice or milk tell her she needs to use a cup. Does she like juice boxes? They make milk ones too.

I never had pacifiers so can't help you there. Looks like you got good advice there.

Diapers may be the last thing I would change. She has a lot of changes going on so it could be alot tougher. I don't think diapers is something you can really cold turkey. If she doesn't want to use the pot she won't and you'll be cleaning up a worse mess! If you really want to pursue it you need to be consistant. Usually daycare teachers TELL them to go - not ASK. When she is home with you make her go every hour. Keep her schedule at home similar to day care. Also, pay attention to her bowel movements. My kids are like clockwork. My 4 year old wears pull ups to bed still and I know to make him go "poop on the pot" at 7pm before getting ready for bed. Personally, I have no problem with pullups at night. SOmetimes kids bladders do not grow as fast as their bodies. My older 2 transitioned from night time pullups at around 4.

Good luck with this project and your new little one!

Sorry I can not help with the pacifier, my son tossed his at 7 months. However the bottle was a big problem. He is on meds that make him really thirsty so he drinks all night long, I just had to stand my ground. I was able to remove all the bottles from the house so that made it easier, but it was a few hard bed times. Sometimes mommy just has to be tough. As far as being attention hogs and jealous I think maybe you are spending too much time with them. Maybe you need to get the oldest involved in activities outside the home with other children. The sibling rivalry is huge, maybe that is the reason she wants the bottle. So her sister does not have something she doesn't. I also bought my son special cuppies for him, let him open them like christmas presents. We told him that when santa brought him his BIG BOY toys it was time to get rid of the BABY bottles cause he was not a baby any longer. Don't let it drag out, just do it and dont go back. Cold turkey, hey its how I stopped smoking!! Good luck

T.

My advice for you is all about scheduling & realizing that you are the mom & someitmes you have to make the hard choices to make your life easier in the long run, & I am still struggling with this one so don't sweat it. I have a 4 year old who loved her pacifier to death. what I did with her was pick a magic date & aim to be rid of the pacifier by then. Start reading books about giving up the pacifier, talk about how "big" kids don't use a pacifier. & then on the magic date I took the pacifier in the middle of the night & said the "pacifier fairy" took the pacifier to give to a baby that needs one & in its place was a little toy. The next few days will be hard so check your calendar & make sure its a good time for your famliy ( maybe a long weekend) & Make Sure there are NO pacifiers hidden anywhere! Same thing for the diapers at home.... maybe not the same weekend or maybe you do it all at once. SImply stop having the pull ups available for her AT HOME BE PREPARED FOR ACCIDENTS, make clean up simple no yelling, no consoling infact maybe no extra attention at all for the accidents. She'll get it after a day or two especially if she is potty trained at school. In fact if she loves her teachers you can say "Ms smith" told me she knows you are a big girl & wants to hear all about how you use the potty at home just like at school.

as for the attention thing its ahard for a 1 yr old they always are jealous, but maybe you have a scheduled time once a week for mom & me time, when your husband can watch one & you & the other go to the park or th library to spend time together. Or practice going out to a restaurant!
Good luck!

Hi B.!
I have a son that is now 17 and he was just like your child. He was very stubborn about potty training and his "pluggie". We finally convinced him to trade his "pluggie" for gifts from Santa. I know "bribbing" kids isn't the best solution but when you have a very strong willed child sometimes you just have to try anything! As for the potty training - he did it when HE was ready and not a minute before. We tried Cheerios in the toliet, bribes of any toy he choose, small treats after sucess, stickers on a chart - almost anything and everything. Be assured - kids don't go to college in diapers! It will come!!! Good luck!

No offense but it sounds like your kids are in control of you instead of the other way around. Honestly, the best way to get rid of the bottle is cold turkey. The day my daughter turned 1 I threw away every single bottle. Parents choice has the best sippys. They are actually spill proof (until the plastic piece inside breaks anyway) and are similar enough to a bottle that your younger one shouldn't have a problem adjusting either. They also have ones that are shaped like sports bottles but those do leak. I took the crib away at the same time. We went to the store and I let her pick out her own sheets (Dora of course). She's been in a toddler bed for 2 years now and hasn't had a problem at all. The BoBo my dughter never used, sorry! The diaper thing is just a way to get your attention especially if she is fine at school. Send (don't ask) her to the bathroom regulary and take way the pullups except for nightime. Let her pick out her own panties so she feels part of the process. Once she has it down during the day set a time 1 1/2 hrs before bedtime when drinks stop. Right before bed have her use the potty and that will avert most nighttime accidents. I would do the bottles and the bed at the same time, then phase out the diapers and finally the BoBo. The 1st week is rough when you make any change but just keep telling her she's a big girl and only babies sleep in a crib, use a BoBo, bottle, diaper etc... If (and when) she gets upset point out the benefits of being a big girl. (Big girls get to ride bikes, go to school, color, etc...) Most importantly STAND STRONG!!! I know you didn't ask for advice on the need for attention your girls exhibit but I have a suggestion. One day a week take just one child somewhere for an hour or so (park, library, lunch, the mall, anything)that way each child has individual attention. Also when one pushes the other off your lap pull both of them on you. I constantly tell my daughter what a good big sister she is and have her help me with everything (She can change a diaper already) so she feels included instead of excluded. I know it's a pain and makes everything take longer but the jealousy my 3 yr old attention grabbing Leo daughter exhibited when my son 1st arrived dwindled off in 2-3 weeks. Matter of fact she tells everyone that her brother is her baby now! Good luck! P.S. Make sure you make time for you and your husband too. You may be a Mom but you're also a woman and should have a life of your own too.

What I did to get my little one off the pacie is I started to cut the tip of it. Every couple of days I would cut more of it. It was funny to watch his face as he was trying to figure out what was wrong with it but after two weeks he didn't even ask for it anymore. For bottles, oh that would be too easy if you could just take them all away. You are just going to have to stand your ground and not let her have one. It will be hard but after awhile it won't fase her anymore, get her a new cup, like a straw cup or with something she likes one it. Make it a special cup that only she gets to use and drink out of. I wish I had potty training advise but I can use some myself. :)

I've heard of using the "Pacifier Fairy" and explaining to your daughter that other babies need to use the pacifiers now that she's a big girl (this makes them feel very important and usually offsets the reluctance to give them up). It works just like the Tooth Fairy, except you put the pacifier on the windowsill, so that the fairy can come and get it and take it to another baby. Then, if you choose, you can get a small gift to make the ritual special. Of course, you have to work your way up to it and remove all other pacifiers from the hosue before leaving one on the windowsill (or leaving them ALL on the sill one night). Not to say there won't be any regression at all, but if you make sure they're all gone, it works like a charm eventually. I have a friend who did it with her 3-yr old son and it was very successful!

I think leaving her in her crib for now and making the bottle/pacifier changes first is the way to go... hope this helps you somewhat!

K.

My experience with the pacifier..... At 16 months old we were down to 2 findable pacifiers... one with a partially ripped nipple, and one that we FAITHFULLY used ! I went to put him down for a nap and he had "misplaced" his usable pacifier, I looked EVERYWHERE and could not find it. I dug out the ripped paci, finished cutting the nipple off, and gave it to him. He did not understand why it kept falling out of his mouth, cried for about 15 minutes, and fell asleep without it... He carried it around for a few days, then when he realized it did nothing for him he tossed it : ) Good Luck... Jen at BarefootSnapshots.com

Removing the bottle, pacifier and crib at once may take away all your child's coping mechanisms just as you're about to introduce another sibling/competition for your attention. Add to that potty training and it sounds pretty stressful to me.

I would focus on the bottle and crib, let the potty training slide until she's fully transitioned off the bottle and out of the crib (she won't do it until she's ready anyway so your wasting valuable energy) and I would let her keep the pacifier so she has something to relieve stress on her own.

My pediatrition recommended taking the pacifier away at 2. However, my dentist said if my son substituted his thumb for the pacifier, let him keep the pacifier until age 4 since there's no lasting effect on the teeth until then and the thumb is much worse. My son just turned four and gave the pacifier up.

Good luck:)

I agree, start with the ONE thing that bothers you the most. If it were me?

bottle: use the nuby cups. they were a great transition for us. We started them at 12 months and within a few weeks, he was completely off bottles. at 2.5, he uses playtex sippies. I would start with one cup at a time. Like the least important. We did snack for a week, then lunch, then morning, then finally bedtime. the nuby cups would work well for both of your older girls.

Crib: I'd do this second since you have a timeline to meet. I was WAY worried about him crawling out and playing all the time. transitioning can be hard, but set it all up to be about being a big girl.

pacifier: ditto the binky fairy. when they're old enough to talk through it, it's time to go. admittedly, however, my son still uses one. he's delayed and you know what, it's easier to explain a pacifier for a 2.5 yo than to explain his delays. my sister made her daughter through the yucky ones out. and when the last one was gone....she was done.

pull-ups at home: i'd do this LAST. i think if you push this too hard now, she will digress when the new baby comes. After all, thats one-on-one time each younger sibling gets with you. you could do special one-on-one with her for each day that she wears her big girl panties at home. have her earn something special.

as for the bottle nub makes a wonderful sportster sippy with a soft lid and square nipple on top for transitioning. worked great on my 3 yr old autistic daughter. as for the binkie she will give that up at around 3-4. if not wait until she is 4 then tell her santa needs her binkie for lil kids that don't have any and tell her if she gives it up so you can mail it to santa then he will buy her an extra gift :) i know it sounds like bribery but it has worked for others in the past. my oldest was 3 when she pitched hers away in a fit over a nap i just told her if she could find it she coud have it she never could find it and went to bed after looking.

I replaced the bottles w/ those soft straw sippy cups when she was 13months, and it was the easiest transition. Then a few months later I took all the pacifers away and actually kept her up about an hour to hour and a half past her bed time and really tired her out so when she went to bed she did not even ask for it. I did this a couple of days and occasionally before she conked out she would say "paci" and I would say "all-gone" and then she went right to sleep. I know your daughter is older now and it will probably be tougher...but hopefully some advice you have received will help.