Taking Longer than Anticipated!!!!!

Updated on February 12, 2009
H.P. asks from Elizabeth City, NC
17 answers

Well my husband and I have been "not actively trying" to have another baby for almost 5 months now. It took 4 months for our daughter. I always thought that after your first one you were supposed to be Fertile Myrtle and get pregnant using the same soap if you weren't careful. All the other women in my family are fertile enough that if their husbands look at them they're pregnant. Heck I was the eldest of 6. I've heard of drinking red rasberry/ rrLeaf tea, but I was wondering how effective it is, and how much to drink per day. Thanks in advance for all your advice. :D

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S.O.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Hang in there! It took me about 4 months with my first baby, and 9 months with my second. I found out that my ovulation schedule had changed. After 8 months, I bought one of those tests for ovulation...I think it was made by First Response. Anyway the day I finally got a positive sign that I was ovulating, we jumped right on it, and about a month later I found out I was pregnant!
Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Houston on

I had the same problem. Someone suggested an Ovulation Predictor Kit, and it worked! Try one. Answer is brand at Walmart, and they are very affordable. Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Austin on

Hey I've always been told to get your body ready for a baby before it comes. I have a few things you can try if you like. I can email them to you if your interested email me at ____@____.com

But you also first need to ask GOD ( pray )
Good Luck

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S.L.

answers from Austin on

You said that you weren't actively trying, but you didn't say you weren't preventing either. I don't know how old you are, but I am almost 42. It was easy for me to conceive my 14 yo when I was 27, but not so easy for my 2 year old. My husband and I tried for 3 years and had 2 miscarriages. For the last 2 years we haven't "tried" nor "prevented" and nothing. In October of last year I had my first abnormal period (I had 2 separate periods 2 weeks apart). I thought, well...if I'm going to have another child, there's no time to wait. I'm only going to get older, making it more difficult and risky. I went to Web MD and found an ovulation calendar based on the first day of your last period. It gives you the days you need to "rest" or "be active" and you can even try for either a boy or a girl. I wish I had known this 5 years ago. My husband and I tried the first month in Nov. and got pregnant right away. Unfortunately I had my 3rd miscarriage just before Christmas and now I'm not sure we'll even try again (finances). But it was super easy to determine my most fertile days. See, it's not a matter of being fertile or not, it's the timing. There is only like a 2 day window to get pregnant and if you're missing that window (which you may if your 2 year old keeps you as busy as mine) you won't get pregnant. If you really are trying, I suggest the Web MD ovulation calendar.

Good luck!
S.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If you're not actively trying you might not be hitting it on the right day. Pay attention to your fertile days and be sure to hit it on one of those three no miss days.

It took me 5 months on the second one and only three on the first. Don't worry- it will happen!

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P.H.

answers from Austin on

If you are not actively trying, you aren't having sex when you are fertile, which is only 3 or 4 days a month, depending on your cycle. Google "charting your fertility" or something like that and you'll find all sorts of tips and ways to know exactly when you are most likely to conceive. If you don't want to go to the trouble of taking your temperature every morning, the next best way to know when you are fertile is to become familiar with your cervical mucus and how it changes during your cycle and what these changes mean.
If you already know these things then just keep, well, "having fun"!
(People do experience infertility after having no trouble with earlier pregnancies, but I wouldn't worry about that until after really actively trying for 6 months to 1 year, depending on your age.)

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C.J.

answers from McAllen on

It took us 4 months as well to conceive our first born, and guess how long it took to have our second one?!?! 4 years! That was after I lost 20lbs as well and ate a healthier diet. So, that's my advice. Give it a good year before you go see a doctor and don't try too many crazy remedies. Good luck.

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L.T.

answers from Austin on

Ok so this worked for some friends of mine who had tried for three years to have a second baby (with the doctor’s help) and spent a lot of money without getting any results. They were just exasperated by the process. I suggested that she switch her husband’s briefs to boxer shorts. He is a computer programmer and sits at a desk all day. She had a stressful job but wanted another child. I suggested that they park their daughter with grandma and grandpa for a long weekend. I told them to go to the beach at a time when she was most likely to be ovulating (she was well versed on determining that). I said have your husband wear loose bathing trunks and walk on the beach. Follow this with a romantic dinner just for two where she dressed in something he hadn’t seen her in before. Repeat this for a few days. Nine months later they had a son. They invited me to the hospital and I got to hold the baby before his own grandmother did. My point is to get out of the office rat race and relax. That is when romantic magic can happen. GOOD LUCK.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I've heard just the opposite. That is takes longer the 2nd time around. It took me 6 months of 'actively' trying to get pregant. I was doing the basal temperature thing to know when I was ovulating. It can get very disappointing and stressfull trying and having no success. Once I just put it in God's hands and said it's okay if it doesn't happen and tried to be less stressed about it...it happened. Sometimes being stressed can prevents you from getting pregnant. Try doing the basal temp thing...find the book Taking Charge of your Fertility and it will explain A LOT about doing natural family planning and about your body in general. I learned a lot from that book. I hope things work out!

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi H.. Like some others I say you need to pay attention to your fertile days. There are kits available at the drug store to help you with this. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that there is only 1 day per month that conditions are perfect for you to get pregnant so unless your "doing the wild thing" everyday, it is likely that will take some time. The good news is you know both of you are physically capable of producing a baby so don't worry, just use the great modern tools we have to figure out your ovulation days! Goodluck.

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S.E.

answers from Houston on

My husband and I were told to go to a fertility dr. I asked my OBGYN about the thermometer method and he said, no one has had you do this yet? We said no, and he told us to do it now before ever going to the other dr. We did and I got pregnant the next month. Keep a thermometer by your bedside & set the alarm about 20 min. early. When the alarm goes off, do not get out of bed, just take your temperature right then and stay under the covers until the thermometer is done. Every day in the month, you should be around 97 or 98. But one day out of the month, your temperature will be 90. When it is, just grab your man & get with the plan.

S.

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L.N.

answers from Austin on

You should read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It tells you everything you need to know and more about your body. My husband and I tried for 6 months and only after reading the book and trying different things such as charting my temperature, using ovulation strips, being cognizant of my egg white discharge, recognizing that my cycle was longer than most women, etc., I was able to get pregnant in three months. After my son turned 1 we tried again and got it on the second try. The book will teach you a lot about our body for the times you want to get pregnant and the times that you don't.

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

As Lucy mentioned before me. You should read Taking Charge of Your Fertiility. My OB/GYN recommended it saying that it should be required reading for all young women. I am not a big "how to" reader, but I used it's suggestions with all three of my boys and I got pregnant right away. Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Odessa on

My first was as easy as saying "Honey, can you come home for lunch?" It took eight months with our second. I used the basal thermometer and was able to track ovulation enough that I could feel my body ovulating. Also, don't use KY or Astroglide stuff for lube. Canola oil is recommended. We used mineral oil cuz that's what I had on hand, and we were pregnant before I got around to getting Canola. I was using the basal thermometer as a cheap way to pacify myself. It turned out working really well.

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

Hi H.,

My story, with my first baby I took the patch off and 10 days later I was pregnant!(my baby boy almost 3 years old).... With the second one I expected the same, 6 months passed and nothing... so I went into the babycenter.com web page, looked into the tool that tells you with your last day of menstruation which are your fertil days and, bingo!, the following month I got it right, I have a 4 months old baby girl.

So I would recommend you give it a try.
Good luck!
M.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Gotta relax! Easier said than done, but it's true. Don't get anxious.

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B.K.

answers from Austin on

I had always heard that too but myself, and MANY of my friends, had a much harder time getting pregnant with our second children. That theory is out the window. I'm not answering your question but I just wanted to recommend buying an ovulation microscope. They sell them at any pharmacy but they are $40. You can get them much cheaper online or on ebay. I used one to conceive our second child. It worked great!!!! Every morning (as soon as you get out of bed) you put saliva, from under your tounge, onto the glass. Let it dry and then look at the pattern under the microscope. If just bubbles, you are not ovulating. If you see some ferning pattern, you are approaching ovulation. Once you see tons of ferning, you are fertile. Just after you ovulate, it will go back to bubbles. One thing it took me months to figure out is that you have to use a huge glob of saliva for it to work properly. The instructions don't say this. Estrogen levels in your saliva cause the ferning pattern. Lastly, I knew I was pregnant long before a pregnancy test read positive. The day after I ovulated, I had bubbles again but 6 days later, it was ferning again (because implantation had occurred and estrogen levels were rising again). It was pretty neat and I highly recommend using one. It was pretty much effortless.

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