Taking Naps in Crib.

Updated on May 22, 2007
T.L. asks from Fort Worth, TX
9 answers

Ok moms...I need a little help. My son is almost 3 months old and has been sleeping in his crib every night for the last 2 months. The problem is he won't sleep in his crib for naps. He wants me to hold him which I absolutely love, but at the same time I am working from home and it'd be awesome to be able to get more work done while he's sleeping. Once I transfer him into his crib after he falls asleep in my arms he only stays asleep for 20-30 minutes. He then wakes up screaming like he's scared. My doctor says he needs to be sleeping in his crib full-time and that I will have to let him cry for 5-10 minutes at a time before going and checking up on him. I try this but he definitely knows how to tug at my heart. I know he's okay and not hurt, but I feel like I'm neglecting him or so bad that he's crying so hard. Part of me knows and thinks I just need to suck it up because in the long run it will be the best for both of us. I know he's exhausted, but he seems too excited to go to sleep unless I'm feeding him and he falls asleep in my arms. Two bad habits that I want to try to stop before it gets really bad. Sorry for going on and on, but your ideas are appreciated. Thanks!

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle.. I had the same issue until I started swaddling my daughter. She would involuntarily jerk her arm or leg waking herself up. Once I started swaddling her she never woke herself up, and she felt snug as a bug!! I think she thought I was holding her. I hope this helps.

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

If he likes to nap in his swing, I would suggest letting him nap in the swing. My baby loved his swing and slept perfect in it. You can ask any pediatrician and it is perfectly safe for them to sleep in there as long as they still get tummy time.
It might keep him soothed longer so you can get more stuff done and of course the best ones to have would be the automatic so you don't have to reapetedly wind up.
I think we went through a pack of batteries a week! : )

My son broke the habit at 5 mths where he no longer wanted to nap in the swing and from that point on, he slept just fine in his crib.
I would give it a try! Good luck.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

I suggest you get the book The Baby Whisperer. It is full of tricks and ideas on getting them to sleep without letting them cry. Basicall, it tells you how to get a baby on your schedule and sleeping well. I did it and she slept through the night a 12 weeks.
I don't agree with letting them cry for 10 minutes. Maybe 2-3 minutes but not 10! Just my opinion.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Okay, I went through this same thing before. The Dr. says as long as they are changed and fed and you know that they are tired that it is okay to let them cry. I know-it can be hard. I have found myself in tears before regarding my son, but I know that if I let him cry that he will be okay. I put a baby piano that he can kick and make music with, a mobile and a fish aquarium in his bed when he is having trouble going to sleep. He will play with the piano the most and cry a little and sometimes actually yell to the point I feel horrible, but he always go to sleep. As a mother, you will know when your baby is tired and really does need th rest. Trust your instinct.

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

T.,
Babies do need to learn to fall asleep asleep on their own, they also need cuddles (that time will go away far too quickly). Personally I feel that the key is in timing. Rock, cuddle, coo and when he is still awake put him down in his crib. Wait maybe 3 minutes at first then go in and rub his head or tummy and let him know you are there, then wait 4 minutes etc.... It is s slow process but one that works and soon you will get his timing down. I knew my oldest would cry 7 minutes and then sleep for 2 hours, #2 hated to be held tight or bundled. All 4 have been different!

Good luck!
D.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

This is a tough one, and one where you will need to decide what works best for you and what you can handle. Everyone will have an opinion and it is hard to say what is right. My DD was always a horrible sleeper, finally at 7 (or maybe 8 :)) months I put her on a sleep schedule during the day and it worked wonders. I often wonder if I had started this sooner, if it would have made a difference. Basically for naps we have a similar routine as the night. I think at three months most babies take three naps (mine would take a series of 30 min naps throughout the day). Depending on when you baby wakes up, try putting him down around for his nap at the same time everyday. Right now I put my DD down around 9:00 and then at 1:00. Try to do a similar routine each day, ex: change his diaper, feed him, rock him a little and lay him down. I did not do the "cry it out" thing until closer to 6 months and even then I was not that good at it.
I have also heard that swaddling can help or if he is still small enough putting him in a bassinet or moses basket. You sweet baby is still very young, he will get used to his crib!
Good luck!!

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

The key to sleep training is putting him in his crib while he's still awake so he figures out how to comfort himself. A bassinet would be fine too as long as he can't roll over yet. Mine often napped in a little rolling bassinet in whatever room of the house I was in.
Try changing his diaper after rocking and feeding him so that he wakes up before you put him down. Then pat him, talk to him, etc. and come back to check on him every 5 or 10 minutes. Maybe if he's still awake after 30 min you might pick him up and rock, cuddle for a while, then put him down again. If you're really consistent, there should be less and less crying over several days until one day you put him down without much fuss at all.
You might check out the Happiest Baby on the Block book/CDs/DVDs. I think they recommend some sort of white noise. I have friends who turned a radio on static, others used an oscillating fan. We played the same music at sleep times.
Also, it will be hard to sleep well if he's overstimulated. You mentioned that he seemed "too excited" to sleep. Try checking the clock when he wakes up and pay attention to how long he's awake after a feeding. If you are using the routine of sleep, eat, awake/play, there should be about 4 hours (give or take up to an hour and a half depending on the kid and the time of day) from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next, and the baby really shouldn't be awake much longer than an hour at once. There may be one cycle during the day where he stays up closer to 2 hours, but that's about tops for a little guy like yours. I know it seems odd to put a seemingly wide awake baby to bed, but crying is actually a late sign of tiredness. He should have some earlier clues like restlessness, turning away from objects, or what seems like boredom. Basically, as soon as you start trying different things just to keep him quiet, that's the point he's telling you he's done with awake time and ready for some shut-eye.
good luck!

H.R.

answers from Austin on

I had the same difficulty with my little girl when she was that age (she is now six months old) I was not fond of the letting her cry method but i was also not fond of rocking/holding her to sleep because eventually you are the only way they learn to soothe themselves. It's understandable that your child cries after it awakes a realizes it's not in momma's arms anymore, that can be scary. Imagine going to sleep and waking up somewhere else. What i did was i made sure i had a routine for naptime and did it EVERYTIME i put her down. Rocking (not to sleep) then laying her in the crib and singing to her while holding her hand, then i would play soft music or start the mobile. I also used a pacifier to help (i phased that out at six months after she was used to sleeping in her crib but only at nap time not at night or out of the crib) I would leave and listen to her cries. There are different cries. If i ever heard a desperate or hard cry i would go in immediately and comfort her with out picking her up. Picking up and putting down a young baby often stirs them up more. (note: sometimes if she got worked up and cried for a long period of time i would just hold her, but only rarely, a routine is VERY important) It didn't always work and it took time and still now at six months she cries when i put her in the crib but she is asleep after five minutes. And i've learned her cues for being sleepy and she has learned to calm herself. I hope this helps!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I guess it all depends upon perspective as to whether these are "bad habits" or just your baby's natural instincts. He spent 9 months in constant contact with you, so it's hard to blame him for wanting to continue that relationship whenever he has the chance. I personally think your peditrician is wrong as I had our pediatrician tell me the same thing when my oldest was 4 months old and letting them cry isn't a good solution (maybe if he were 2 years old and not 2 months, maybe). Two months is way, way too young to think that he's somehow "manipulating" you.

I also worked from home part-time when my youngest was 4 mos to 9 mos and found that the most effective way for me to get my work done was for me to get up extra early and get as much done as possible early in the day. Both my boys would not fall asleep without being nursed and held. You may need to just watch the timing - as I recall you need to make sure they're fairly soundly asleep before you put them down and try to make sure that they're well bundled and warm - your son may be waking up because he's getting cold. I made sure to have extra blankets in my lap so I could use those to layer to try to maintain that good temperature.

Good luck, but I can absolutely guarantee this won't be the last situation where you need to listen to your instincts (and not the pediatrician, who means well, but just isn't the mother of your child). Also, you might try organizing your work so that you can do some quiet things while he's sleeping in your lap - I also guarantee this won't be the last time that you'll need to be flexible about working and taking care of your family's needs.

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