Taking Steps to Take Care of a Senior

First of all, you need to get a medical power of attorney for her. You need to be able to talk to her doctors and direct her healthcare. And then you need to talk to an eldercare attorney about her circumstances. The attorney can help get you papers that will give you financial/general powers of attorney in case she becomes incapacitated. Having these papers at hand will make your job much easier. Here's a link to read about these: http://www.quickenloans.com/blog/types-power-attorney-poa

Eldercare social services should be your next stop AFTER the lawyer. The lawyer and social services will help you get your ducks in a row for getting her on Medicaid. As you know, they will use the assets they determine are hers and then Medicaid will kick in. Make sure that she doesn't give you money now. She is WAY past the look/back period, and Medicaid will make you pay it back.

Good luck.

All this is a beginning. I know this is all very hard.

Since her husband is a vet, you can check into Aid & Attendance for her. Go to your local vets office to apply. You will need her husband's DD214 and I'm not sure what else. Her husband should also be able to get some assistance through Aid & Attendance.

Ditto Doris Day, Cheryl B is right, too. Contact an attorney specializing in elder affairs and go from there.

Best wishes!

Eldercare services in your county. They are a huge help..

If there is no one where she's living now who will take care of her, I urge you to move her to your city; not to your home but to an assisted living home or perhaps a foster home. Gamma G. gave you some good information but it's my impression that she can no longer live with her daughter/daughter-in-law. So she needs a new home. Is that right?

You cannot take care of her long distance. She needs someone to check on her, talk with caretakers, see that her needs are met. You just cannot do that unless you live nearby. And I doubt that she can live alone in her own apartment and rely on outside help. Someone needs to co-ordinate that. She can get people to come in to help her if she's living with someone else. When did you see her, in person, last. I suggest that you need to know what her needs are and will only be able to know by personal experience.

I've helped to take care of both parents, my mother-in-law and am now helping a friend with serious health issues.

I've never heard of contacting the Public Housing Authority. Don't they help low income find housing? Sounds like your mother is not able to live on her own. I suggest PHA will not be able to help her.

I suggest you start by finding out what services are available in your community and find her an assisted living place. Google assisted living to find places, visit and talk about how to get her help. They will have a social worker on staff and be able to help you learn about how to get assistance, financial and otherwise.

Your community will also have an office that assists seniors. Again, you can find it by googling this. You can also talk with the state public assistance office to learn how to obtain financial assistance for her. They may not be willing to help someone not a residence so just give her address as yours even tho she isn't living with you at the moment.

There is help available. It just takes time and perseverance to find it. Start by calling one place and go from their. Gradually you'll find other numbers and other places to start. Google assistance for seniors and your community to get started.

Sounds like she does still have family ties in NM. Perhaps it would be better for someone there to take over by finding her a place to live and arranging for care and financial assistance.

I suggest you call elder care through the state where she is. They can tell you what is available.

It doesn't matter what her income is. She will qualify for some sort of assistance if she had a home to live in. If she wants to stay where she is and is welcome she could qualify for a home health aid, an Advantage Aid (?) to help with bathing, shopping, cleaning, etc...and she could even have a nurse to come each week to set up her meds and take her to doc appointments if needed. If the caregiver needs a break each week then she could even see if she qualify's for respite care.

When I worked home health I sat with a couple of ladies so their family caregivers could take time away from them. One of them would go take a nap then go do errands. I did 10 hours per week for this family. The other one got 3 hours of respite care per day.

They do all sorts of things for the elderly nowadays. She could live at home or go live in a retirement style center. Not a full nursing home, maybe assisted living. They offer low income housing in all sorts of situations. But you can't know what she might qualify for until you ask the state what they offer.