Talk Me Out of Quitting My Job - Update

Updated on June 16, 2011
T.K. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
10 answers

Some of you read that I am fed up with my job and my hateful boss. I have a plan in place. I am tying up all my loose ends at work. Completing all my open tasks, etc. I am updating my resume and collecting names and numbers of all the professional contacts I've made at work. I'm going to get all my continuing education hours done now, while it's still paid for at work. And renew my professional license for the next 2 years. I am turning on the afterburner to win a contest that we have going through the end of the month. Once all this is done, I will be the golden child again. I will then take my vacation to look for other opportunites. When I get back, I am going to let him know how unhappy I am. He may be glad to see me go. He may try to renegotiate. Either way, all my ducks will be in a row and it wont be an emotional "half baked" decision. What am I overlooking? What other actions can you think of to better prepare myself to reenter the job market? I've been here 4 years and not interested in job hopping. If I had retirement, I would stay and try to work it out. I really want to retire from somewhere. I want to devote the next 20 years to one employer and retire with a little 401k. Pipe dreams, right?

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So What Happened?

I understand what you are all saying about not expressing my feelings. But this is not your average boss. It goes back to my original post.
There are 3 ways to exit my job. 1) - get fired. 2)- Put in 2 wk notice, to which he says..."that's not necessary, why don't you go ahead and go now."
3) - with his blessing, if I tell him I'm not happy, he will find me another job. And we split on good terms.

More Answers

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Sounds like good dreams and a good plan. The only thing, I wouldn't tell him how unhappy you are. You could set yourself up to be fired. And while that sounds tempting because you hate it there, you should go on vacation and find a new job. Get the new job (tell them you have to put in your 2 weeks) and put in your 2 weeks. If he is confused and asks why then tell him how unhappy you are.

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J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Sounds like you have a good plan.

Okay now talk me out of leaving work early! :p

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you have a good plan, but I think you need to keep your mouth shut UNTIL you have secured another job. No boss, especially a jerk, is going to respond to unhappiness with positivity.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Do not quit before you have a new job.
It's easier to find new work while you are still employed.
Don't tell your boss anything until you can give your 2 weeks notice before you leave for a new job.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Turn it around and reflect on your ideal work elements - think of a time when you were feeling excited and happy about your work and write down key words that capture why that previous experience was a career best for you? figure out the ideal work elements for you? what are your key top three skills/attributes? I agree with the other feedback that its wise to be "professional" at work and focus on your immediate deliverables until you have another job in hand. I would totally skip the unhappiness feedback to your boss (because you might need him for reference in case the new thing does not turn out to be stable).

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K.F.

answers from New York on

You should never burn your bridges. Never tell your boss that you are unhappy. Always do your best because ultimately everything you do comes back to you. Remember your paycheck is in your name and not the bosses.

While in a perfect world, you would find gainful employment over your vacation but if in the event you haven't located that new dream job, it would be in your best interest to not let your boss or coworkers know your intention. Continue to collect letters of satisfaction of the services you provide and/or work you do as you continue the process of finding new employment.

From my own experience it is easy to blame others for the terrible things we go through without accepting any responsibility we may play. Before moving to another work environment, take a real close look in the mirror at yourself. Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself. I was amazed by what I found when I was alone looking at the naked truth about myself and my performance. I was guilty of some of the things my boss was accusing me of. I needed to change me or take that same funky attitude with me into a new work situation. Now my situation at my job is better and when it comes time for me to move on. I will be ready and my boss is prepared to write a stellar letter on my behalf.

As for working for one employer for the next 20 years with a 401k. I would say talk to a financial planner about your retirement plan. The consultation is usually free but that trained professional could help you reach your goal and help you get there better than what you think. I don't have much money now but the advice I have received from financial planners has been invaluable and definitely put to use. When times comes for me to stop working at a job, my financial picture is going to be very rosey. Yours should too. They really could help tremendously.

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would prepare yourself for how hard the market is right now. I'm not sure what your career is in, so depending on that it could take a little or a long time to find a new role-depending on supply/demand, etc. Plus-are you planning to quit and find a new job or stay while you look? If you aren't prepared to be unemployed, but cautious on how you talk to your boss-if he gets the sense you are looking or will be, he may let you go sooner then later.

Also-be prepared to explain to prospective employers 'why' you are looking or 'why you left"...everything is subjective so if it's because of your boss' attitude/ethic, etc...be vague--prospective employers might take offense and wonder if it's just your perspective and will you view them that way, etc.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi T.,

The economy is bad and job prospects are poor in many areas of the country (I don't know how things are in your neck of the woods). I think, over all, that your plan is very sound, except before you tell your boss you're ready to leave, make sure you have a solid offer in hand for elsewhere. The general rule of thumb *before* the recession hit was to expect it to take 1 month of searching for every $10K in salary you want to be making. So, if you're looking for an $80K job, for example, figure on 8 months of job search, on average. In this economy, I would double that number (16 months).

You don't have to wait until your vacation to start job searching and networking. I would get started on linked in and any alumni or social networking sites you connect with right away, and start looking for job fairs in your field. Ask friends and associates if they can recommend a good head-hunter, career coach, or executive recruiter in your area, too.

The other thing you should make sure of is that you have enough financial buffer to last through your search period, should you decide to leave (or are forced to) before you have another position.

As for 20 years with one employer, it can happen if you're with a good company in the right industry, but people these days advance mostly by moving around. Companies don't have the sense of loyalty towards employees anymore, either.

Good luck though! I hope you find a new position (and boss!) with which you'll be happy.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I agree about being careful what you say to your boss. Google "how to resign gracefully" to increase your odds of not burning bridges. Here's one of the articles, but there are quite a few of them, and some may be more helpful.

http://www.quintcareers.com/resignation_dos-donts.html

I'm really happy that you're so motivated to get unstuck! I'm rooting for you- keep us posted!
Very best wishes!!!! =o)

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