Talking About the "Birds & the Bees" with 6 Yr Old Girl

I've been telling our now 6 year old son since he was five that the daddy plants seeds in the mommy with his private parts, into the mommy's private parts. He understands the process of planting seeds and seeing something grow, and that seemed to satisfy him. He did ask if he could watch us plant the seeds, to which we told him that that is private yada yada and he since left it alone.

Hi Erin, we started off with the book 'Where Willy went" - really cute and I think at this age gives them enough to get some idea and to allow them to decide if they want to know more - or not. The follow up book we used now at the age of 8 is 'What's the big secret?" It's short and to the point without too much information. It's also cute and kid friendly. I would suggest after that going onto "It's so Amazing"! All these books are available through Amazon. Good luck!

This question reminds me of the joke about the little boy who came to his father and asked, "Daddy, where did I come from?" The dad took a deep breath, closed his eyes and went into a 30-minute explaination about sex, conception, pregnancy, labor & delivery, etc. When he finished, his son looked at him with total bewilderment and said, "Wow! Just think, Poor Jimmy only came from Cleveland!" When I talked to my children about the "birds & the bees" (some 20 + years ago) I gave them a direct answer in age appropriate language to the direct question. No more, no less. We get so uptight sometimes about explaining this subject to our children that we tend to either over-explain or treat the subject as something taboo. I'm not so sure a 6 year old can truly appreciate a detailed biological desertation on human sexuality complete with illistrations. But I do think she will understand that a baby comes from the love two people share for each other. Obviously she feels comfortable coming to you with her questions, which a is wonderful thing. You'll need that invaluable open communication as she grows up. I'm sure when she wants more details, she will ask you! Let her be a child, think as a child, act as a child and believe as a child as long possible. Believe me they grow up so fast. Hopefully you and she have plenty of time before she will put away childish things. Be blessed!

Erin -
When my daughter was about 7, a wonderful little boy told her that he wanted to have sex with her. Well, naturally, my daughter asked what that meant. I was able to go to the library and find a book in the juvenile section that explained the "birds and the bees" on her level and it did not give too much information. You may want to try there ... And believe me, it may be uncomfortable talking about it now, but it may save a lot of heartache in years to come.

GOOD LUCK !!!

R.

Hi Erin,

There are several books for children that age on Boys, Girls and reproduction etc. Go to Books-a-Million with her and make it a playdate. If you've not been there, there are little places where you and she can sit and read together.

Good Luck!

My son is seven and last year there were several babies born in the family (he now has cousins all over the place!).

Naturally, he wanted to know why his favorite aunt had a huge belly and once I explained that there was a baby inside, he wanted to know how it got there and how it would get out.

I answered only the questions he asked, and re-phrased or dropped a subject altogether when he looked confused.

He knew at a fairly early age that boys and girls have different genitalia - and he knows the proper names for them. I felt that giving them cutesey names would make it seem like those areas are any more special than any other part of our bodies, and that's not a message I wanted to send. I also didn't want him to think that he should be embarassed talking about his genitalia if he was having a problem.

When he asked about babies, I was matter of fact but didn't give a lot of detail. I explained that babies are made when a grown up woman and a grown up man love each other so much that the love spills over and makes a baby. I told him that babies come out of the mommy's belly when the baby is big enough to be held. He was satisfied and didn't press about how the baby came out. When we get to that point, I'll explain to him that babies are born through the vagina. Depending on his age, that might be when we go more in depth about the male and female reproductive systems. Sex, however, is a topic I'm hoping not to have to discuss until middle school!

Hi, Erin!
There are some sweet, simple books out there that are things like "there's going to be a new baby at my house" or something. Also Christian bookstores have good children's books on the subject, and they won't say the wrong things. I would try for a book that is a board book- meant for very young children- then you know it won't say more than you are comfortable with.

I know there is one book that says "When a man and a woman want to make a baby, they have a very special hug." I thought that was good for a little one.

Dr. Dobson probably has some, too. I look to him for a lot- check his site at family.com.

Blessings,
S.

Well, I have 4 children....14 & 11 (girls) and 9yr and 3 month old (boys). For me 9 to 10 was the more appropriate age. They just don't need that much information at such a young age. My 9 year old son asks me, "when are you going to tell me how babies are made?" He just asked last night as a matter of fact, because I just recently had a baby. I told him that when he turns 10, which is in 3 months, that we would talk. I will also tell his father, my ex to have his own talk with him, but I will share my end of things because it is important for him to know about girls as well as boys.

Some people like to tell their children sooner, but for me I'm a little more conservative and telling them when they are a bit older but "before" they start puberty, then they'll understand it better and know to be more discreet with the topic. My son has been a little playful with the sex topic, goofing around with it to my daughter's friends, so I told him that it wasn't something that we play around with to "other" people, that it is private..... otherwise I probably would have told him sooner. But I was afraid he would say something in school and then he'd get in trouble. I just wanted him to be old enough to know that it isn't something you share with "everybody", especially talking about it at school with someone other than me.
My oldest daughter has already started her period and my other daughter and I have had the talk and she's not far behind. But anytime before 9 or 10, I just don't think it's necessary, but once again .... that's just me.

Keep it very simple and basic. Sperm and eggs are a bit advanced for a six year old. Follow her lead by answering her questions but ease back if she seems confused.

I heard a child psychologist say that you should double the child's age and answer their questions with that many words. That's about as many as they can understand anyway.

At this point you could probably keep it very simple along the lines of not being able to make puppies and then wait for followup questions.

Well. When explaining such things to kids, Its not sex, its Biology. Just put on your biology hat and forget about the complicated sex part and just keep it as simple and straightforward as possible. Put on your biology teacher hat and go for it! Just remember, its Biology, NOT sex. Not yet. That comes around 13 years old....

Good Luck! Ha!