Talking Back?

I definitely get better results when I praise good behavior rather than discipline bad behavior. Of couse I do both, but the bad behavior gets better much faster.

Here is what I would do...
Sit your son down and talk to him about what he thinks about the little girl talking to her mom disrespectfully. Then tell him how you feel about it and how important it is to you that he speak to you respectfully. Then set up expectations and consequences for him (and the others) if they do speak disrespectfully. I teach kindergarten and sometimes kids that age need someone to tell them what is and isn't okay to say and do. If you do give your son consequences when he is disrespectful, you will also be modeling for the other parent who is struggling with it. If the girl is talking back to you while she's at your house, you should tell her she has to be respectful if she wants to be there. That will also send a message to the others that disrespect isn't tolerated. I hope this helps! Good luck!

My son is 4-1/2 and has begun to talk back as well. I think it's just another way to test his boundaries, something kids of every age will do in some way or other. What seems to help for us right now is remaining patient and telling him that talking back is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If it continues, I give him a warning then put him in a time out, usually somewhere out of the way like the stairs or a chair in another room. When his 4 minutes is up, I calmly speak to him about it, ask him to apologize, we hug and we don't speak about it again (until the next time). He still talks back once in a while, but because the outcome is always the same (time out) he has curbed his behaviour a lot. A lot of times he's frustrated at something so I try and talk calmly to him about it to attempt to fix the situation before it escalates to him acting out of line.

Hope this helps!

S.

Never respond. This is why they are doing it. They feel that this is a good source of attention. Remember, good or bad, kids do things for attention. If you can ignore it, walk away, turn away without an expresion or comment, you are winning. Making it a win/win would involve getting their attention after they are calm and ready to have a normal conversation.

Good luck, L.

I have 3 daughters and when they were younger my husband and I took the Common Sense Parenting Class thru Boys and Girls Town. That was the best thing we ever did. We learned techniques that we have still use to this day. It was great that my husband and I were on the same page on parenting all the way. We had full control of all their behavior problems within a few weeks of the class. It is only $90.00 for a couple to attend and is 1 1/2 hours a week for 4-6 weeks. The class addresses any behavior problem your kids could possibly have. I would suggest it to any parent to take even if your children are prefect little angels. Hope this helps you and your neighbor.
E. :)

my 5 yr old talks back all the time, i try ignoring him, but he never stops, if u can find some help let me know, he has gone as far as yelling at me, and hitting me sometimes. i think he might have add.

Hi L.,
As far as I know these are learned behavior. Your neighbour child must see someone in the family/friends does this and he is copying it. In my childcare I have a 5 year old who always put his sister down for everything she does. I always remind him that "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". Now he is getting better:)
Nilu
Little Explorer
http://www.littleexplorer.us

I would agree with Jessica, but maybe take it a step further. When the girl is being disrepectful in your home tell her that you don't like that behavior in your home and send her packing.

I tell my daughter that - that is RUDE- & NOBODY LIKES RUDE CHILDREN!! I have severel books that we read on manners & lead by example- thats what my Hubby & I do & make it a point to say Oh Thank you that was very kind you have such nice manners.

My daughter is almost 12 and she talks back alot! It is just the teenager coming out in her. Remeber when you were younger and the way you spoke to your parents sometimes?
I don't let her get away with it though. Most of the time, it is the tone of voice shse uses and I call her on it. I will say, "You know I don't deserve to be talked to like that." OR "you could say it this way instead...... and give an example". OR "watch your tone with me, you could say that nicer."
Just little reminders will go a long way.
As for the neighboor kid.....If any of my daughter's friends or the neighboor kids spoke to me disrespectfully, I will tell them the same thing in a way.
"I am an adult and you shouldn't speak to me like that." If it continues I would talk to the parents. Keep in mind that some parents don't discipline their kids the same way, so be careful how you approach the kids or parents.
i was raised with the belief that it takes an army to raise a child, and that army is the parents and the adults around them.
Good luck!!

My son is also at the age where he's starting to talk back and argue about decisions we make. At first, I didn't know how to handle it.

The first thing I did was talk to him about it, and say that it wasn't acceptable for him to be speaking to adults like that, especially when it was about a family rule. After that, when the behavior continued, we'd point out that what he was saying was hurtful, and asked him how he'd feel if the roles were reversed. We also explained that the rules we have are meant to keep us safe (like not running in the house, picking up toys, etc), and not meant to be mean to him.

Now when he talks back, we stop everything and talk about why he said it. Once we started talking to him in a more mature way, he really opened up, and I think it helps him to understand his emotions a bit more. The biggest thing is keeping our tempers in check. Now that he knows it's ok to talk to us without the fear of us yelling or getting angry, we don't have nearly as many problems.

I try to stress to my daughter the difference between speaking to adults and speaking to other kids. She knows that when she speaks to an adult it is important to be respectful and that means not "talking back" in a rude way.

Choose your battles! If it's just a little minor sass, I usually say something like "probably so," or I'll say, "I'll be happy to talk to you when you can speak nicely." These are suggestions from Love and Logic by Jim Fay. You're basically just refusing to give attention to negative behavior.
For MAJOR sass, I'm not above good old fashioned soap! I put a drop of liquid soap on my daughter's tongue to "wash the sass out." Just be sure the soap doesn't taste good... one of my friends used some Bath and Body Works hand soap and her daughter liked it!
Good luck!!! :)

Hi well it depends on a few things -how close are you tot he nieghbor --what age are the kids -- and is thier a reason these children must spend time together --

the influences and friends you allow your children to have now will make an impression on him when choosing similiar friends later.

Is the parenting style in yor nieghbors house confrontational or open for discussion -- have you spoken to the childs parent? If your not comfortable brining it up then your not very close to her and you can just seperate them

You can also tell teh child that we do not agrue with adults in our house and you may not play here if you act that way -- and make sure the parent knows it is upsetting to you that your child is picking this up and what you plan to do if it occurs --the parent will then ethier continue the friendship or end it