Tandem Nursing

I breast fed my son. I know there is a lot of info out there about the length of time children should breast feed... I think that you should MOST DEFINITELY wean. Two years is plenty.

Hooray! Good for you!!!
I myself am about 19 weeks pregnant with my second. My daughter, who will be 3 in April nursed until this past December. She, too, was an infrequent nurser and VERY attached to her "mamma milks," as she called them. For me, a lot of changes happened all at once... two days before I found out I was pregnant I took a full-time, temporary job. So with that change AND the pregnancy, I gave weaning a try. It was not the nightmare I feared it would be, although it was at least as difficult for me as it was for my little one. She still talks about being able to "have mamma milk" and somehow in her little almost-three-year-old mind has concluded that once the new baby comes, SHE will be able to have fresh Mamma Milk, too. ha ha ha And I still miss the closeness of nursing and cuddling with her. If I weren't working out, I may not have weaned and would be approaching tandem nursing myself. In my opinion, if it is working for you (and as long as the new baby gets his or her fill before you allow the toddler to nurse - and there is enough time after a toddler session before the newborn needs to nurse again), go for it! If it doesn't work for you, you will know and maybe by then your toddler will be ready to wean. Go with your Mamma's instincts! And congrats on nursing for so long!!!

I hope your eating a ton of healthy calories. Between nursing one, being pregnant with the other, and working, and keeping up with household demands - you're really placing high demands on your body.

I found tandem nursing my boys to be very difficult, but they were the same age, and it wasn't like one of them could walk away when they felt done. Getting proper positioning was a challenge and I certainly had to have someone help me get them set up and going.

To be honest, it seems very strange to me that your still nursing your daugther at 24 month old. If you try weaning her after the second child is born, she'll probably become resentful of the new baby who gets to nurse now. Just a thought...

Hi L., good for you! My daughters are now 5yo and 3yo. I tandem nursed them until my older daughter self-weaned, completely, some time over the last 5-6 months or so (not really sure when, as it was gradual). My 3yo still nurses at night and maybe a couple times during the day, sometimes.

Our tandem nursing experience was incredible. My daughters would lock eyes, and hold hands, experiencing the bliss of having their needs met, together. When the baby would fall asleep at the breast, my older daughter would contently keep nursing and gently stroke her sister's head. I think it was an amazing way for them to develop a loving bond and wouldn't do it over differently for the world.

Just keep lots of pillows handy, to prop elbows/boost kids, as necessary in order for you to stay comfortable. Some of my most magical memories of tandem nursing were sleeping at night in the family bed. There was this fantastic "bond" between all three of us. Like, I would suddenly "barely" wake up and instinctively undo a couple of jammie-buttons a mere SECONDS BEFORE the baby would start scootching around with her mouth open, and my toddler would roll over toward me (without even opening her eyes) and both would latch on within seconds. They'd nurse together without waking up, and I'd fall asleep with both my babies all snuggled up, held and warm and secure and full of love.

We still enjoy that night-time togetherness and the two girls are still best friends by day.

I remember wondering whether my older daughter would wean, while I was pregnant, and it seemed for awhile like she was heading that way. I'm so glad she didn't!! =)

I am currently tandum nursing. There are 14 months between my boys. I enjoy it!!! Although at times I'm frustrated by my older boy who wants to nurse more than the baby. I have tried to wean him but he is not interested. So I believe at this point I'll just wait until he's ready. Just be prepare for your daughter to want to nurse more. My son was down to 3-4 times a day and then increased to 5-7 times. Just make sure you don't regret your decision. Once your tandum nursing it will be harder to wean the older one.
Good Luck!

I am so glad to read your post & see more people going out of the "norms". I nursed my daughter through my pregnancy & tandem nursed until my son was 6 months old. I weaned her at 2 1/2. It was nice to nurse her through the pregnancy & it was overwhelming after my son was born mostly because he nursed 24/7. Be prepared for the older child to want to nurse more after the baby is born. I would do it all over again & I actually regret weaning my daughter at 2 1/2 yrs. I was feeling overwhelmed & actually started to feel physical pain when she nursed. It all turned out well though. I never liked nursing them together although I did it a couple of times, I usually saved it for when my son was sleeping as our special time together. You are lucky your husband is so supportive, good luck with your next one.
Brekka
PS even though I did not gain any weight until I was 6 months pregnant, my son was 8 lbs 8 oz. So I don't think that has much to do with birth weight like some of the other mothers think. Just make sure you are getting an additional 1000 calories a day

L.,

I didn't tandem nurse, but wanted to comment anyway :) My sister in law tandem nursed my niece and nephew and it worked great for her. I nursed my first son until I was nearly 6 months pregnant with the second and we weaned because it was right for us. My second son was 9 lbs 7 oz. at birth, so I don't think that me nursing while pregnant did anything to effect his birth weight!

Good for you for nursing so long and for considering tandem nursing. Do what feels right for you and your family. Don't let expectations from others (or yourself) dictate how your nursing experience goes with your daughter. Just make sure you are confident in your decisions, and they will be the right ones for you.

Jess

I tried tandem nursing once, but my son quit nursing suddenly one day when I was about six months pregnant and never did it again. Drying up after a day or two wasn't a problem, so maybe I had been doing so right along. I was also told that the milk changes flavor towards the end of the pregnancy. Go ahead and do it if it works for you, but it didn't for me. P.

Try the mothering.com message board, they will have a section for tandem nursers. I planned to do it with my second and third as they 13 months apart but the third child ended up being two children so I decided nursing 3 babies at one time was a little more than I could handle.
Good luck
K. H.

My oldest was 19 months when my second son was born. He nursed right through my pregnancy and there was not a "taste" issue for him. I tandem nursed for 2 years, with the oldest only nursing at bedtime, in the bedroom, for the last year of it. He would of kept right on going, but it became too much for me.

Nursing should be a bonding experience for you and your child(ren). If it works for you and the kids, then do it. If they wean themselves (which my youngest did at 2 1/2, not long after his brother quit), that's great. But sometimes you have to stop it when it does not work for you, and I think that is almost harder because you are trying to do what's best for your child and transitions are hard.

I want to say thank you to the woman with the preemie perspective. I never thought about that. My youngest was a month early preemie, born in the 5th percentile. After only one month, he moved into the 95th percentile for weight! (He is now in the 70th.) I never thought about the fact that the older one nursing probably helped the milk supply for his younger brother. I was too busy deflecting the shame put on the act by society and my own family. (My husband was mostly supportive, but my mother did not approve AT ALL.)

It was not even an option for me. I found out I was pregnant with my third when my second was 7 months old. My doctor told me to stop ASAP! He said that the baby inside me needed those nutrients more and that it would be dangerous later on of going into preterm labor. All of my kids were born 3-4 weeks early as it was, and he said that breast stimulation causes your uterus to contract. I would go with whatever is safest. I cried when I had to wean him, but am glad I did not take any chances. He is now 4 and my daughter is 2 1/2, and they are healthy and happy. I weaned my daughter at nine months when she got her teeth and began to draw blood. There is no magic number in how long to breast feed them. Talk to your Dr and follow their advice.

I did, and am glad I did. My older daughter was about 2 1/2 when the younger was born, and I continued to nurse her until she was about 3. I think it really helped her feel close to her baby sister - to share the nursing - and she was old enough and articulate enough to understand that the baby needed it more often than she did because the baby couldn't eat big girl food. It was also a huge relief when that engorgement phase hit! (hey, sweetie, guess what? You're hungry!) She did start to nurse more often for a while, but then it tapered back off again and when we reached the point where it was causing problems (over how often and when she got to nurse) then I weaned her.

The La Leche league has published a good book called 'Mothering your nursing toddler' that I found to be very helpful during this stage.

Good luck - I definately found that having both kids comforted and happy made things easier, and worth defending the decision to my MIL...

If you are willing and prepared to tandem nurse, then go for it! I think its awesome! My oldest was 3 1/2 when my youngest was born, so he had been done nursing for quite some time, but if they had been closer I would have tandem nursed no problem.

I know quite a few who have, and the older child has weaned shortly before or after the birth of the new baby becdause the milk does change, it turns into colostrum for the new baby.

It sounds like you are totally cool with it either way, and she is old enoug hto know that the baby will nurse all the time, but she should still have her set times.

Good luck, and congratulations on nursing your daughter, and on your new baby!

Hi L.,
You are an amazing mommy to have nursed your 2yo daughter for TWO years!!!!! :)

I did tandem nurse and loved most days. The doctor was not very supportive or encouraging, but other health care professionals said that it was just fine that I continued nursing. They stated that if I were to begin having contractions while I nursed that I should probably consider stopping. However, I personally never had a problem :)

The information that might be helpful for you in my experience is this: after I had my daughter, I allowed my son to continue to nurse right away. I didn't think about it, and no one reminded me of the powers of colostrum- it cleans out all the muconium from the newborn infant (the sticky black tarry poo poo). It CLEANED OUT my son (red, red bum from the power of the colostrum). I had to tell him that I had owies on my nay- nays and he had to wait a week (until the colostrum had moved all the way through). He was 22mos when my daughter was born.

He continued to nurse until his fourth bday (only in the am). My husband said that was long enough... My daughter is 3yo and is still nursing. I am guessing that my husband will say four years is plenty with her as well.

From everything that I have read, a woman's body adjusts to her nursing children. A woman's body will make what she needs to supply nutrition and nourishment for the babies she is nursing- and will supply it according to the amount that is consumed or used or expressed. (think about moms who have twins or triplets and nurse- her body simply increases the amount of production. her body does not nourish one and neglect the other- both receive that which they need. so your older daughter will just receive more nourishment! :) )

There is a GREAT magazine and website- it's called Mothering magazine.

There were a few times when I would feel annoyed with my son for nursing on one side while my daughter was nursing on the other side (I felt like a cow milk machiene!). Those were the times when I would tell him that he had one minute to nurse or two minutes to nurse and then he could cuddle with me so that he didn't feel left out or resentful towards his sister.

In the Western world, we have the nourishment to be able to tandem nurse.

Whatever you decide to do, be blessed and enjoy!!!!!

G. H

my personal opinion is that i think its great that you have nursed your 2 yr old this long, i did with my daughter also... but then i became pregnant with my son...and was still nursing her, they told me i should really try to wean her, only because nursing takes alot of the nutrients out of you that the baby in your tummy is needing!!
and i regret that i nursed a few months into my pregnancy, even though i took my prenatal vitamins...because as my son was my 4th child, he was also my smallest baby...weighed 6 lbs 11 oz, and even now at 17 months he weighs only 22 lbs. but he was a very small, energetic & flexible, early walker, at 10-1/2 months old he was practically running and climbing! so he burns off everything he eats. so i wish he would gain a little weight, and at his next Dr. visit, i'm going to talk to the dr's to see what i can give him to help him gain a few lbs.
ps. i have talked to a guy from Juice Plus-www.juiceplus.com and am taking these, all natural whole vitamins/nutrients... from 17 different fruits and vegetables, (not suppliments)and they are doing studies right now on pregnant women, and the results are amazing, maybe you've heard of it? they hope to someday replace the prenatal vitamins completely, becasue in all the studies so far, EVERY woman that has taken the juice plus, has had NO COMPLICATIONS, on thier pregnancy or birth!!!!! GOOD LUCK!

Good for you, L.!

I nursed my 2 1/2 year old daughter and her newborn sister. I decided to take it one day at a time and see how it went. My older daughter really just nursed for naps and bedtime and waking up in the morning. I am so glad that I did it, because it helped her bond with her sister instead of feeling competetive with her for my love. Also, it helped me to keep a strong bond with my older daughter even though a newborn is so time intensive - what is easier than to lay and cuddle and nurse? Sweet times, they were. And my girls are still the best of friends now, at ages 7 and 9.

One unexpected benefit was that my older daughter could help me out with that initial engorgement that happens - a great relief for me and I still remember her delight at all of the milk (there wasn't much at all before the birth).

There was, by the way, always enough milk for the new baby. I think I tandem nursed for 6 months, weaning my daughter when she was about 3. But it was very gradual, as we noticed together how big our baby was getting and how much milk she needed, and we talked about how lucky my older daughter was to be able to eat food (because babies have no teeth and can only drink milk). I never refused my older daughter but never offered either, and eventually, she lost interest.

Check out the book, "Mothering your Nursing TOddler" it has a chapter on tandem nursing.

As far as those negative comments and discouraging remarks, they are based on ignorance and outdated ideas. Pay no attention.

Best wishes!

I did tandem nursing for 5 months. My daughter was 18 months when my son was born and was still nursing. I found that if you do it around groups of people, it is good to be prepared for the funny looks. I do not beleive that is was people being judgemental, just people not being exposed, therefor, it is nice to be able to expose people to it. That said, for me it was a blessing because my son was a preemie and my daughter kept up my milk supply until he was able to nurse effectively. My daughter stopped drinking milk when she was nursing after my son was born, she was getting so much from me. She nursed only mornings and before bed. I did find that I was wiped out. but overall it was a positive. It eased the transition into sisterhood for my daughter and I think that they are closer because of it, but that could just be in my head. I say if your not psychologically done with nursing and your daughter still wants to do it, there is nothing wrong with letting her wean naturally and enjoying the bonding time.

Hi L.
I would think when your milk changes for the new baby your daughter will not like it anymore and wean herself. Thats what happened to me and several friends. Good Luck T.