Ditto Catherine C.
Really keep in mind, that children have a hard time with EVERYTHING, when tired/over-tired/sleep deprived, or hungry.
Next: at times a child is tired/hungry, it is not the time for social things.
Kids from about this age, even if tired... will try to push through being tired... and some kids even get more "hyper" when tired. Because they are trying, to cope. But are too easily overly stimulated or beyond coping, when tired.
So, the parent... has to know their child's "cues"... and regulate the child.
It might help to remember, that young children do NOT have, automatic "coping skills" nor do they even know how, nor is their development on par with even knowing how to instantly "cope" with frustrations or tiredness etc. So again, the parent has to know the child's cues and have them nap or have a quiet time. Or feed them. Kids often need snacks... which will help to keep their blood sugar from going to low... otherwise, they get moody.
A kid, does NOT have... self-regulating, ability.
Not even some adults have that.
But for a child, because their communication skills are not sophisticated, and because their "emotions" are not even fully developed yet, at this age... they have outbursts or get moody.
Punishments, are not the only thing to curb, these "tantrums."
A child, also has to be guided and taught... what their feelings are so that they can PRACTICE and learn HOW to communicate that, to their parent. ie: teaching them the "names" for their feelings, that they can tell you, that even if grumpy or frustrated that they can tell you... and that, you will help them to learn "coping skills." Of which there are many ways to cope with frustrations.
ie: using humor, showing the child other ways of expressing it in a palatable way, they can go and scream in their room then come out when they feel better and then you talk about it or "why" they were frustrated etc., helping them with problem-solving when frustrated. ie: if they are frustrated they can ask for help from you. Then as a "team" you will both find other ways for not getting frustrated. Sometimes the child just needs a hug. Or to hear, that you understand them, too.
So punishments alone will not conclusively stop a frustration then tantrum. But in conjunction with teaching the child about it and why and how to circumvent it... it gives them "skills" and an "aptitude" for learning HOW to cope. In the long run... this will bode them well. As they mature and encounter all sorts of frustrations.
It gives them... and emotional "IQ" about things... and helps them to trouble shoot, difficulties.
THAT... is what a child needs to learn.
Not just by punishments alone.
And yes, kids get moody. They have lack of development and maturity and the "skills" at this age-stage... to know by themselves, how to cope. Thus the parent needs to teach them and guide them on it.
Then, they will develop overall. In cognition and problem-solving and in their self-awareness. Because you are giving them "skills" on how to do so.
As you role-play with them, and teach them phrases to say when frustrated and how to ask for help.... they will become better at it. With age. With practice.
It takes, practice. Like a rock collecting moss.
And yes, when tired, a child this age "resists" napping. Because, they do not know how to turn themselves off or key themselves down. You need to help them.
MAKE the home quiet. Make the room dark. Key things down. Make a ROUTINE of it, daily. Have runaround time in the morning. Have an early lunch. Make things quiet after that. Tell her it is "wind down time." Turn things off. Read to her. Allow 1/2 to 1 hour to wind-down after lunch. Then take her to her room. Have her lay down. Don't argue with her or interact too much. Help to key her down.
That is what I have done with my kids since they were born. And they have always napped daily. My son is 5 and my daughter is 9... and they will still nap, when tired. Because it is a routine and I never made "naps" a bad thing. I taught them that naps are their body telling them they need to rest and recuperate. Then they will feel better. It was never a battle. I went by my kids' cues. And I knew their rhythms.
I know when they are tired. Because, a tired child will get clingier and moody and fussy and have nil, patience.
At home, a child lets it all hang out. So you need to teach them, and guide them on how to cope.
But thankfully, your child is not like that at school.
My kids were the same way.
But at home, if/when tired or at the end of their rope, they got cranky.
So then they nap. And I give them a snack.
Girls, are more emotional and more emotive. Bur instead of shutting her down or preventing her from communicating/expressing herself, teach her HOW... in palatable ways, that she can say.... things.
I taught my kids that from 2 years old. At 3 years old my son knew the differences between him feeling "frustrated" or "irritable" or just grumpy. And he would tell me. Nicely. Because he knew how. Because I taught him. And he knew he "could" tell me those things. I NEVER punished or shunned or shamed or scolded my kids for their feelings... but taught them that they could tell me/confide in me and I would help them. As a "team." If grumpy, my son would even tell me "I am grumpy... I'm going over there and just want to be alone..." and he'd go to the other room. Then he'd come out when he felt better... and tell me "all better now... I just needed my own space."
You teach a child... how. And it thus increases their aptitude and skills, for managing.
Which punishments alone, will not teach them.
3 years old is a very hard age, for the child.
4 years old, is also hard.
Both these ages are MUCH harder, than when they were 2 years old.
Developmentally, they are changing so much.
It is growing-pains, for the child.