Tantrums at 14 Months

He doesn't understand explanations (regardless of what other posters say). Things that will help are
1. setting him up for success - make sure he is not hungry or tired before setting out on a trip/going somewhere likely to be a problem. Does he get sleepy/grumpy after lunch? Then that's probably not the best time to go shopping. Avoiding the triggers for tantrums is way easier than managing them once they start.

2. Say yes a lot. And tell/show him what he can do. You don't want him to grab things from the cart? Give him something fun he can grab. Make it fun - Costco often has samples to try - try the papaya or pineapple or whole grain bread with him.

3. He does need to run around. Do some running around before you go to the store.

4. You can hit him. He will learn that big people hit little people. I can't see how that will make going out less frustrating to him - and frustration about being powerless and unable to communicate is what tantrums are all about.

While girls are different from boys in many ways, trust me that children do actually understand many words at 15 months. Have you tried sign language? A lot of tantrums come from a feeling of frustration of being unable to communicate what they want, and boys have less impulse control than girls. If he can use his hands to tell you things in a way that you can understand, you can probably prevent a good chunk of the tantrums.

Can you "wear" your little boy? The Ergo carrier is good for bigger kids - maybe he just wants the security of being closer to you.

When shopping or going out, be sure to interact a lot. Give him a piece of paper as his "shopping list" and point out all the things you are getting. He will expand his vocabulary too.

I also agree that he should do a physical activity before a shopping errand or restaurant to get his wriggles out. Also make sure he is not hungry (Snack Traps are great to have in the shopping cart) or thirsty, and not overly tired. Costco is also very stimulating - maybe he felt overwhelmed but could not communicate that with you.

Most moms will tell you he does not understand, DON'T FALL FOR IT! we had a no tatrum policy with our children and they knew by age one it would not be tolerated. Ignoring bad behavior does not show a child it is bad behavior. Explinations he won't understand, but discipline he will, each one of our children tried once to have a fit, my husband went to them gave them 2 good swats on the butt, problem solved. your child controlled you with his tantrum to the point you had to leave the store, NO CHILD should have that kind of power over a parent or anyone as far as that goes. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but sweetie you and your husband should have niped this in the bud from the start, not you just have to get firm and be consistant, Punishment is not rememberd by a toddler, but discipline is. J.

You can not reason with a 15-month-old. They are cognitively able to be reasoned with. You can not 'explain' to him why a behavior is not acceptable so that he will not do it again. (this is not possible until age 2.5) His discipline should be immediate and effective. When my daughters were this age, a very assertive 'NO' for not-so-serious occasions, and even a hard swat on the bottom or the arm/wrist for things like tantrums in public were the most effective disciplinary actions. Yes, I have spanked my children in public, and no, they have never thrown tantrums again.

he is a boy. boys are very different than girls. very different. he could have some sort of issue, but, the issue may be being born male.

In my experience, littles under two don't understand much. Simple things, simple choices - yes most of the time. But if you say more then ten words they've stopped listening. Your best bet to to redirect, redirect and entertain. Keep extra favorite snacks, and a toy or two that he's not seen (age appropriate happy meal prizes are cheap and small enough to stash away and it also helps to rotate his toys so that he gets a "new" box every 2nd or third month, while you quietly pick out a box of stuff he's not been playing with to regift to him in a few months).

Sometimes you just have to go with what ever you have. If he isn't an oral junkie (those babes that just have to taste everything in the world!) you might stash a thing of chalk into the bag and let him "draw" on the sidewalk if your outside of a store or restaurant. or park on the far side of the parking lot and let him draw on the ground until he settles down or until its time to leave. Bubbles were another life saver for me.

I'd also invest on one of those child harnesses. I know a lot of people will say "never one of mine" but i honestly broke down and bought a cute one from walmart because i had a "runner" who hated to hold my hand. For him it was his backpack (like his older siblings had) and he enjoyed putting things in the little pocket so he always put it on. Even at 18 months I could tell him "hold my hand or mommy will hook this on your pack" - THAT he understood and because he had a choice, he usually cooperated. But he enjoyed not having to hold my hand, and I enjoyed knowing that as long as the tether was in my hand that he was close enough by me.

Hope that helps.