Teacher Says My 5 Yr Old Does Not Get Kindergarten!

Updated on December 07, 2010
T.D. asks from Brecksville, OH
15 answers

My son entered Kindergarten this year. He was 4 yrs old and turned 5 yrs old on Sept. 7th. I go through all his work with him when he gets home and we talk about what he learned in school that day. I buy him tons of books that we can read and many that have written activites. We read every day.
He know his content that he learns for the day and seems to be understanding what he learns.
So, I get a call from the teacher that she would like to talk to me about my son. She says he acts like he just does not get Kindergarten. He writes really bad and works so slow and barely has enough time to complete his work. She said he may have to repeat Kindergarten again.
Is there any way great books or activites that are specific to handwriting and speeding up his skills in class. There are so many results when I search on the internet. Please Help! Thanks, T.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I have decided not to get upset with his teacher telling my he works slower than the other students and that his handwriting is bad. I have found many tools at Target to help him with writing and creating crafts. An issue that I have not considered is a recent Dr. Appt he had. He had a bad ear infection and blockage. He was prescribed Nasonex and needs to flow up with a ENT Dr. I was advised by other family members that he may not be able to hear well due to the blockage. I sent his teacher an e-mail and asked her to see what happens after he is properly diagnosed by the ENT.
I also want to make him feel good about all his work he sends home from school and want to work on crafts at home to improve his skills. Hopefully this will make a difference. I want to thank everyone for all the resources, I will look into.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I think the best thing is just to continue working with him at home. It sounds like you're very invested in his learning and that's key. Get some of the workbooks you can get at Target, Wal Mart, etc. that practice letter and number writing. Get a dry erase board that he can practice on, get puzzles and placemats and anything. Practice, practice, practice.

Now, that being said, repeating K is not the worst thing. He is a VERY young Kindergartner, especially being a boy. Even if you held him back he would still be of normal age range next year. Plus, he'd have an advantage. It's still early and he might just catch on, but if he doesn't don't stress. Would you rather have him be at the top of his class next year or at the bottom of the class struggling? I'm not trying to be harsh or tell you what to do, per say, but just keep in mind that he's young and the body and mind take time to learn these skills.

Hang in there.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi T.,

Sorry to hear your son is struggling. Did they do screening on him last spring? Here in Illinois, they do screening for kindergarten to make sure the child is ready. Also, the cut-off to start kindergarten here is September 1. My son turned five on October 2, so he didn't make the cut-off. I don't feel he would have been ready this year anyway. They're doing stuff in kindergarten now that we didn't do until the second half of first grade when we were kids. Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Let him repeat Kindergarten. It is a disadvantage to be the youngest in his class. In many states, he would not have made the cutoff anyway.
Don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself or trying to pressure him to catch up. :0) It will be better next year and he won't be the only one.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Do not let them hold him back. Instead, ask for an evaluation. Write to your teacher in an email, and verify what she told you at your meeting, and ask her to confirm, in writing, that you have summed every thing up correctly. Then, tell you that you have been thinking and ask for her to implement in class interventions on all the areas he is having academic difficulty with, and to do so for the minimum number of days/weeks that she must and to send you a written progress report on the success of her inclass intervention, and if your son does not progress, you will request that he be refered to the Intervention Assistance Team for further evalaution for the help that he needs, because holding him back will not be an acceptable option.

If she already claims to have done in class intervention, then you can document that in your email, and go on to request that he be refered now. You want the Occupational therapist to look at him, and you should have his processing skills assessesed, and you need to keep an eye on his handwriting, which is very often the first sign that you will have more issues to come.

Addionally, make an appointment with an occupational therapist privately. You need to have his fine motor, visual motor, and visual processing skills assessed, and see if this is the root of his issue. If there is more that he has difficulty with, like speech, language, attention, or behavior, then also seek out a developmental pediatrician. You should have his vision and hearing screened as well.

Intervention is provided on the basis of grade, not age. If your son needs an intervention, he will be wasting a year by being held back. He should get that intervention now. Kids who don't "get" it the first time, don't get it the second time unless they teach it another way, and that is really not effected by maturity, despite the very popular thought that it does. You actulally stunt him for another year if he has a need if you hold him back, that is why children should always go to school on time.

Log on to www.wrightslaw.com and read about evaluations, identification, interventions, and how to advocate. For a good writing program, check out Handwriting without tears, and if you can get a private OT to do this program with him, he will make progress. You will likely always need outside therapy to supplement any you get from school, the school is only required to make him functional, and you will always want more.

M.

T.,
Please go to the wrightslaw web site. Scroll down the left side of the page and click on retention and read why holding a child back is a very, very, very real disadvantage that is statistically evident in all the relevant data for kids with the kinds of issues your son is begining to experience. You will NOT do him any good by holding him back, you will be getting him the appropriate services that he needs and an extra year to make progress before the golden window of opportunity closes around age 9 for the best, quickest, most substantial reading and writing intervention. Don't lose a year, he can't afford it, the cost to him, and to his future is just way too great. Please read the real facts and know the human cost that other children have paid. There are life long concequences. Send children to school on time, and since he is already there, leave him. Early is always better when it comes to intervention. Always. MR

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.E.

answers from Orlando on

T., don't despair. I tend to agree with Tori. There is absolutely nothing wrong with retaking Kindergarten. He is a very young student. The main key is to keep him excited about learning. http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/home/home.jsp has wonderful materials you can use. Play learning games WITH your son. My husband used to do flashcards when our kids were younger for letter recognition, now with our twin kindergarteners we have a NASCAR math game they love. So, anything that you can sneak learning into. Handwriting is a tough one and my son does not write as well as my daughter right now, because he doesn't want to take the time to do it. He wants to get onto the next thing. So, practice practice is all I can suggest with that. I would suggest spelling his full name and all the eight color words first. No one said it would be easy. But don't put pressure on him or YOURSELF. Some people will tend to go overboard, but it's all about balance. Praise him for the things he does well. Does he have a good memory? Have him memorize his phone number & address in case of emergency. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. Happy Holidays!

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

um...i'd be questioning the teacher, its dec, he still has 5 months to go before a PROPER determiniation can be made...i wouldn't stress too much about it now, work with him and the teacher to get him to "pick it up" if needed, but it's kindergarten! all i remember my daughter learning is numbers, colors, shapes, and SOME adding

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

for all those who say it is too early to say he MAY have to repeat Kindergarten, teachers are not allowed to surprise parents in the spring with this, they HAVE to warn the parents and the school ahead of time that a child MAY need need to repeat so that the child can receive extra help as needed, evaluations if necessary to determine if this is the correct step and for the parents to decide how they feel. So I think its good she let you know there are problems ahead of time. If the problem is learning the letters and sounds and sight words etc. you can work with him at home and see if he learns quickly BUT if the problem is how he acts in a large group, how he listens with the distraction of other children, how he takes turns, relates to others, talks to the group, etc it may be something he will outgrow. My son's Kindergarten teacher says he is too busy looking at the other kids... I cant help with that problem, hopefully he'll be better by spring! I will hold him back if that is what she recommends in the spring, I dont want him to always struggle to keep up with the others

1 mom found this helpful

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

It is only the beginning of December.....how can she determine that he may need to retake Kindergarten already? Seems a bit early to making that kind of a judgement.
Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

It's too early to tell right now...shoot, you haven't even hit the mid-point!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi T.,
It is school's job to get him up to speed. Request that he have an evaluation done by school/district. He may be eligible for certain services such as occupational therapy (this will help with handwriting) or AIS reading support. If your child has educational difficulties, the teacher should be calling to inform you of what the school can offer in terms of adjunct services in the school day. An extra workbook at home is not likely to help these issues. Interventions should always be put in place before any discussion of retention. I would speak directly with the principal about what school can and will do to help your son to improve his school performance. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with Mindy. Write to the school district psychologist's office and request an evaluation of your child. What if he has a learning or behavioral disability that's making it hard for him? It's really valuable to get an assessment (which they have to do by law if you request it), which can pinpoint ways the teacher can help your student in class. Don't just throw in the towel and have him repeat a grade without pinpointing the source of his difficulties.

You might also talk to your son's pediatrician for referrals to specialists who might be able to evaluate his challenges and determine medically if there's any sort of disability going on.

Best of luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Columbus on

I understand that some kids just don't "get it" or are not ready, but that was kind of harsh for her to tell you he may have to repeat kindergarten already at this point. Did you not have report cards or conferences already this yr? He was given the KRA-L (kindergarten readiness assement-literacy) at the beginning of the year. Did she not share the results? She should have made you aware then that she felt he was struggling. Does she send home site words and sentences for him to practice? If so how is he doing on these? Here are a couple sites that my sister & I have both used. (she is a 1st grade teacher & I used to teach kindergarten)
http://www.handwritingworksheets.com/ or http://www.handwritingforkids.com/ You can go to the Ohio Dept of Education's website ( http://www.ode.state.oh.us/GD/Templates/Pages/ODE/ODEDeta...) to get the info on the KRA-L and get some insight on what your son is going to be expected to know by the end of the kindergarten year.
I would suggest to continue doing what your doing.... reading with him every night, reviewing the lessons that he's bringing home and making games out of them. Maybe make it into a timed game to where he has to work really hard to complete his activity in a set amount of time. If you have any other questions or need more ideas you can private message me. My DD is in kindergarten as well this yr and I used to teach.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

You need to read the book Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax. Most other countries do not have kids start school until age 6. There is scientific evidence that boys should not in grade school until age 6. That is why more parents are holding back their kids even girls. It's not all about the academics. It's also about the dynamics of the classroom, the socalization and the movement of the classes.from topic to topic. A lot of boys do not have the ability to focus and keep on task. They may be very intelligent but it does not come out in the classroom. To ensure your son can thrive in school you need to put him in an environment that is positive for him and encourages him. I have seen more kids held back and kindergarten is the nest place to do it rather than when he is older and it would be more traumatic. The only thing I would do is if he repeats to make sure it is a different teacher. Remember it is what's best for the child. As a mom you need to understand that boys are different than girls. Girls handle the school environment better than boys.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

we love the "handwriting without tears" series

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Cheyenne on

Hey T.,
I was in your place a few years ago, and understand jsut how upsetting this can be. My family is Ari force, and we where living in Italy when my sun started school. Do to a mix up in my husbands orders we could nto enroll him in the DoD school (The american school on base). SO i put him in the Italian school that was a few block away from my house. That school was great and there where a few other familys in the same spot we where in. it was such a mess!! However it was half day, and agin it was an ittalin school.
So when we came home, my son was behind where he should have been for first gread. We got the call from his school saying that he was having a very hard time. did we want him to stay in frist gread or put him in the KG class. I also have Dyslexia and was worred that I might had passed that along to him. The school screened him and said he was fine.
After long talks with the school and both the first gread teacher and the kg teacher and my family and my husbands family and my son of course. We thought it would be best to move him back. We didnt want him to see school as something bad. We wanted him to enjoy it!!
It worked out great for us, and when he did move into firstgread last year he knew what was going to be asked of him, and it made him feel smarter!! He is in second grade now and doing VERY well. I am glad we did not push him into something he jsut wasnt ready for (his hand writing is bad..we work on it but I think its jsut the way it is).
Your Sweet son might do jsut fine with you at home with you, but maybe he gets scard and freezes up at school. Have you talked to him anout how he feels about school and his teacher and his friend there? that might give a clue into what is going on in his little head.
If they do hold him back is truly isnt the end of the world sweety. It might be what is best for him. eather way it goes, I think your going the right thing. Just keep working with him at home and show that your love is not conected to anything that goes on at school. You know he is smart and bright and you dont beet a teacher or school teasts to tell you that. Keep doing your thing, and keep your chin up and hang in there!!!

Best wishes sweety!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions