Teacher V. Parent

Updated on March 28, 2011
L.C. asks from Rockville, MD
10 answers

I'm a teacher in the school where my child attends.. If I'm called into the principals office to discuss my daughter, Am I a teacher or a parent? Administration says that once I walk into his building I'm a Teacher before a Parent.. What do you think?? The reason I was called in for this meeting involved my obtaining Special Education services for my child. According to the principal, my child should not have been tested as a result of "exclusionary factors - adopted, transient student (school was child's home school prior to our moving; chose to keep her their as to cause her less stress), new student to state."

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So What Happened?

Because I was in disagreement with the Principal as to what he said about my daughter and because I'm a teacher. "Once I walk into his schoo, I'm a Teacher first before a Parent. Acting as any parent may have, I exhibited some frustration by raising my voice. However, because of his belief, I was unprofessional; therefore, he is seeking disciplinary actions. This to me is absurb.

Featured Answers

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, L.:

First of all, you are a woman working as a teacher.
Second of all, you are a mother of a child.

Thirdly, how will you respond to why the child is
in the principle's office. It is all about relationships.
What is the child needing that is the cause of his
being in the office?
Just want to know.
D.

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C.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

IMHO if you were called into that office to talk about your child then sorry you were the parent in the situation. And shame on that principle for using his power like that.

Talk to your union rep now before this goes to far.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Just read this for the first time and saw the "so what happened" that put it in context. Are you a teachers' union member? I hope so because if the principal is going after you with discipline you will need representation. Did you only raise your voice or were words said that could be considered disrespectful? Does the principal possibly have other beefs against you for any other interactions with him or have you and he had other run-ins over other issues not related to your child, and he's using this as an excuse to discipline you when he's really mad about those other issues? Do other teachers have kids at the school and what have been their experiences with him regarding their "parent/teacher" status? It's hard to tell exactly why he would go straight to discipline if it was just you increasing the volume a bit -- if it was yelling or using certain language, he would have more of a case. It sounds like he is overreacting (and not being realistic about expecting teachers to act as teachers and not parents when it's their own kids). But if this now is moving to official discipline that will stay on your professional record, you may need some representation. Talk to experienced teachers at your school and/or your union representative if there is one, and be sure they have the whole story including any previous issues between you and the principal.

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm surprised they told you that. I think it's obvious that once you walk through the door you are a teacher, until you are discussing your child specifically. I would call the district for clarity on this because you cannot be looked at as a teacher per your own child. That's silly.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally feel that your Principal is COMPLETELY wrong to expect you to wear your "teacher hat" when discussing your child. You are her parent and should be expected to advocate for her as her parent. You are a teacher to your students, but you are teacher and parent to your child. What doesn't the Principal get about this? You are absolutely right about taking issue with this. I taught for many years before I had my children. I have had many instances in which I needed to sit down with colleagues and discuss concerns or issues regarding their children in my class. At each and every meeting I thought of them as the PARENT of the child we are discussing not a teacher at our school. The whole situation is totally absurd!!!!

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P.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

ALWAYS a parent first. Who else will advocate for your child? If your child needed to be disciplined, that should also come under the "parent" hat, not the "teacher" hat.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think where your child is concerned, you're a parent that's also a teacher.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You were in a conference about your child with the Principle who just happens to be your boss...I think the raising of the voice at your boss was probably unprofessional. But I also agree that you were a parent not his employee at that time. I would hope that the board would see that and not follow his suggestion about disciplinary action.

I would try moving to a different school next Fall by the way.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you listen with your teacher (evaluative) ears, but with your parent (knowledgeable & compassionate) perspective. By this, I mean that you understand that your child has faults like any other and must adhere to the same expectations of all other students. Knowing your child better than anyone else gives you unique insights that her teachers may not have, but it shouldn't change anything in terms of her receiving exceptional treatment.

When discussing this issue with your boss, you must conduct yourself as an employee of his, not as a parent who pays his salary - even if that is the case. He is right to call you out on insubordinate behavior if that was the case.

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R.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

If the subject matter is your child, you're a parent. If it's a PTO event, I guess you get to decide your role. My mom taught in my elementary school so we had the same thing. I think my mom was more teacher than parent at school. Good luck.

Just read the situations, and I guess the only think I would add is, how would you have felt as a teacher if a parent raised their voice to you? Does that happen much? I don't like it when I get yelled at at my work by customers, so I try to keep that in mind when I'm the customer. I also get that when it involves my child, I'm very emotional too.

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