Teaching About the Loss of a Pet

I'm so sorry about your dog! Our cat Cocoa passed away when our older daughter was 3. I explained to her that our cat had become very, very, very old and had died. And that meant that Cocoa would not be living with us any more.

That simple explanation seemed to satisfy her and she didn't ask any further questions. What really amazed me was that recently someone had a box of kittens at her school, and the smallest one looked right at us and gave us a big hiss (Cocoa's trademark), and my daughter said, "Mommy! Cocoa came back to us in a new body!" I was absolutely blown away and have no idea where she came up with that idea, but I'll tell you what - we adopted the kitten! And she does have many of the same personality traits as Cocoa. Go figure.

Anyhow, my thought is to give your son the bare facts and let him make his own sense of it. He will make peace with it in his own way.

Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry about your dog. It sounds like he had a good and fun life with your family.
I think you should get the books every one else was talking about. Also he is so little that he does not know how to express what he is feeling. He just does not have the words. Maybe you should have him draw a picture of your dog where he thinks he is now, in heaven. you might need to help him. Kids have a hard time imagining something as abstract as heavn. Put all his faviorte toys in the picture, his favorite park, anything that your son associates with the dog. Maybe even mail the picture to your dog in heaven. It might help him think of it as an actual place. You should be able to see how is feelling in the picture. I would just keep answering his questions as he has them. My mom did this for me when i was about 6 and i remeber it helped. Your son is quiet abit younger so it may or maynot help. But i think it is worth a try. hope this helps. :(
A.

I wrote a story for my son when our first dog passed away. He was about 5 (he's 40 now) Our dog's name was SugarBear.

We had a dog named SugarBear when you were just a tyke.

And when you ate your teething bread, she would try to take a bite.

When you were done, oh what a mess your little face would be.

If I turned my back on SugarBear, she cleaned you up for me.

We were like three muskateers, you, SugarBear and me. If we ever tired or scared, she guarded faithfully.

We both cried when Sugar died, we thought our hearts would break.

But I told you she'd wait for us just outside heaven's gate.

Then we would run and laugh and play; we'd visit God for tea.

And God would hold us in his arms, you, SugarBear and me.

My son still loves this story and it has also been a comfort to many of my family and friends who have lost a pet.

I'm sorry for your loss...they are such a big part of the family.

I am so sorry for you loss. I have not experienced this, but I have come across books on Amazon that are written for children. Maybe one of them will help.

Oh my, I'm so sorry you lost your pet. They really are family members and it is so difficult to go through. I have two girls, 3 and 7, and we've gone through this twice in the last year. Both of our old cats passed w/in 6 months of each other. Of course, the 7 year old gets it. Now for the 3 year old...I'm not sure how much she really understands, but we just kept it simple. I didn't really sugar-coat because it is what it is. I said something along the lines of him getting a sickness that the dr. couldn't fix - sometimes the dr. can fix it and sometimes the dr. can't and this time Bailey couldn't be fixed (with the first cat I made the mistake of saying the cat was old and sick and died. So, then everytime somebody was older or sick the kids wanted to know if they were going to die, so now I know to make the distinction), so he died and now he is in heaven. I've had to repeat it a few times and haven't had many questions.

Again, I'm so sorry...it's heartbreaking to lose a pet.

Hi
I am very sorry for your loss. I have had this a number of times with cats as my children grew up. Did your son get to say good-bye? I remember getting a book from the library titled "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" about a cat dying. Call the Children's Librarian and ask about some books that are appropriate. He is waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge where all loved pets wait for their people.
Good luck
S.

I'm sorry to hear about your dog.
We, too, lost a dog when our son was just over 3. The hardest part for us was driving the dead dog to the vet with our 3 year old in the backseat asking, "why did it die?" "why are we leaving our dog with the doctor?" "why won't shawnee be able to play with us?" "why is shawnee sleeping?" "why is shawnee old?" "why is shawnee sick?" "why? why? why?" We had not had time to make sense of it ourselves, and we had to figure out how to explain this sad event to our son in a way that wouldn't frighten him.

Our son seemed to understand once we explained that death is when someone ceases to live in their body, but lives in our hearts. In fact, this explanation shut down the "why? why? why?" and he simply responded "oh."

The next morning I heard my son ask my husband, "Daddy, Shawnee lives in my stomach?"

We've since had a number of conversations regarding death and how typically older people who have been ill die, but people can also die from running in front of cars or as a result of hurting themselves doing something dangerous. I'm always careful to clarify that he probably won't die anytime soon, and neither will we. Somehow he seems to have a reasonable respect for death, without being petrified with fear.

Good luck in your explanation. Again, I am really sorry to hear about your dog.