Teaching Children to Keep Track of There Belongings

You have done all you can and now it's up to him. I would tell him if he can't keep track of his stuff then he doesn't need it.

Continuing to help him find his stuff is keeping him co-dependent. At 11 he needs to start to become independent. As he progresses through jr high and high school he needs to become independent. He needs to be able to locate all of his stuff, be responsible for his homework, his boots, jacket ect. In a very short time he will be off to college and he can't take you with him to help him locate his stuff.

If I were you, I'd quit helping him with it altogether. He's old enough to figure out his own system...and if his system is to misplace everything so it isn't available when he needs it, he'll learn. Don't volunteer for his search parties.

My daughter is the same age and she used to struggle with this. Does he have a high anxiety or stress level? I found out during my daughter's 10 year old well child check that she suffered high stress, which in turn would make her forget little things like this. She was always so worried about getting good grades and social issues kids deal with that it was hard for her to be more organized at home. It really comes over time I think. He will probably grow out of that and become responsible.

My youngest is forever misplacing her belongings. She's very "busy" and tends to put things in really weird places. When she whines that she can't find her iPod, I tell her, "Well, that's a bummer! Hope you find it before I do!" Somehow she always manages to find it. I do tell her that if I find it first and it's not where it's supposed to be, I will take it away for a period of time. The thought of that sends her into a tizzy. I can only hope that someday, this will translate into her learning to put her stuff away where it belongs. But who knows.

My husband can be like this. He has ADHD and what we have learned after 30 years of marriage (we have known each other since we were 13) is that it is my HUSBAND needs to be the one to come up with the plan for remembering where he puts things.

This means some not so great looking locations, but they work for him.

My husband cannot use a typical drawer. If it placed away it is "gone" to him.

It has to be on top of something like a shelf at his eye level. Not in a box or a file.. But a flat table and right by the front door. Sometimes an open box type of a container like an open basket will work for catching things like his cell phone, Ipod, wallet, keys etc..

He is also good at keeping up with things on hooks. Hooks on the outside of the closet, by the front door (or whatever door he uses the most).

His closet is useless to him, but a clothing rack, is perfect. We keep one in our bedroom (it has wheels, so I can roll it out when we are expecting guests) and another rack in the garage next to the washer and dryer.

We keep his folded clothing that he uses every day in 2 chest of drawers, but only the top 2 drawers of the chest... They actually have a semi opaque fronts to them.. They are by Ikea..

He did best when he had stacking baskets in our old apt. when we first married, but they are not attractive. He could see everything..

So, watch your son closely and se where he naturally tends to "place" his things. See if he can come up with his own solutions. I know it is frustrating, but he is not alone.

My son with ADD is just like this. It wasn't until we medicated him that he was able to be organized. I suspect my husband is ADHD, which would explain his disorganized nature and need to keep everything where he can see it.
Regardless, your son is old enough to take responsibility for these things, as well as live with the natural consequences of losing them.

Well, one thing that works, is to visualize where you put it and to repeat it in your head. For instance, when I lay down my keys, I specifically remember doing it and remind myself as I'm doing it. Absentmindedly throwing it down somewhere is when it gets lost. Also, having 2 or 3 spots he uses as a 'dumping ground' well help, like a basket on his dresser or near the front door, as he will know exactly where to look. If he can't handle these tactics then, he is obviously not mature enough to have a cell or ipod.

If things are left out and he leaves them, take them and put them away in your room. Tell him if he can't put things away where they go then he can't have them for a week. It might be that he isn't appreciating the things he has enough to care to take care of them and keep track of them. Hope you find something that works. Good luck.

Sounds like ADD to me. You can try a list on his door or wherever it will be seen as well as verbal reminders until he gets in the habit. He needs to get in the habit which takes about a month.

Next time he asks where something of his is, ask him "Well, where did you leave it?" I've been doing this with my 4 year old and she is starting to catch on. Like some others have suggested, stop helping him - he needs to start taking some responsibility for himself and his belongings. I also like the response of "Hope you find it before I do!" and then if you do, keep it for a short period of time, or make him pay a fine to get it back if he needs it sooner.