Teen Son with Adhd

Updated on November 09, 2011
D.R. asks from Des Moines, IA
5 answers

What on earth do you do when you have struggled and fought for your son to be successful in school since he was in 2nd grade. Now he is in 9th grade and getting D's and F's . So , I start taking him to a therapist, who puts the idea in his head that he has a choice to take medicine or not. So now he says he doesnt have Ad/hd and he is not going to take the medicine. He denies everything about himself. I have tried to tell him that until you admit your weaknesses you cannot get any better. Nothing gets through to him. I truly do not know how to help him anymore. Please Help

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

1. New therapist
2. Have you seen the special about Ty Pennington? He was ADHD and its a great show. Might help your son to watch with you.

Also have you read "Driven to Distraction" by Dr. Hallowell? Very important book to read and he talks about treatment options. Also love the Amen books. I say educate yourself, your family and find a great therapist! Many fascinating and succussful people are ADD/ADHD. I don't see it as a weakness at all! Part of what he may be fighting is the stigma. Open his eyes to the fact that it is a sign of a brilliant mind. It just takes more work to reign it in! Also dietary changes can do wonders. Try gluten/dairy free. Read Dr. Junger's "Clean."

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

IMHO, ADD / ADHD is NOT a reason to fail and receive poor grades.

I have it. My entire family has it. Some of us medicate. Some of us do not. My son has it. My daughter does not, but she has certainly learned some bad habits from us. I also have minor dyslexia with numbers.

WE are all pretty much straight A students. We love to learn, to read, play musical instruments, listen to music. We have a lively house with lots of unfinished stuff everywhere.

He must understand that his only job right now is to go to school and to do well in school and you are willing to make that happen. But you must get rid of distractions, have a work area set up for him and expect him to sit and study and read everyday. I have to remind my kids...go read, go study, go do you homework, go practice you piano lessons, go play you clarinet...but we also listen to music together, play math war together to practice our math facts, watch movies together when the kitchen is clean and chores are done. It keeps us all focused to have something fun to look forward to after doing the drudge work.

I recommend the 2 books: "Driven To Distraction" and "Delivered From Distraction."

You must have consequences for him too. Take away his toys and favorite things until he straightens up.

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

First, you need to meet with the therapist alone and let him know that you feel he is undermining your parenting. Then switch therapists.

Second, there needs to be consequences to failing grades. Put them in place and stick to them.

Third, talk to your son's regular doctor about these issues and to review the treatment plan.

Fourth, talk to your son's school about his ADHD and see what suggestions they have - tutoring, in-school counseling or support groups, etc.

My son struggles with ADD, mild oppositional defiance, and depression. He has finally, in 10th grade at 15 years old, realized that his medications help him. He tried last year without the ADD meds and struggled all year. This year, he remembers to take it each morning on his own - huge accomplishment for him. He is doing better in school and in general. But I had to go through the "I don't need help" phase with him also. It wasn't pretty.

Good Luck
God Bless

2 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have a solution for your son! My husband and I have ADD and our 7 y/o son has ADHD, so I am extremely familiar with this topic and have struggled a LOT myself with this disease (yes, I am calling it a disease). I was on Vyvanse for a while, but the thought of taking it for the rest of my life was depressing, as well as unhealthy. I researched this topic a LOT and learned that a very high dose of omega 3 fish oil is the solution. I'm talking about EPA and DHA. The more of them, the better. You need to go to your local health food store and buy a very good quality fish oil (I use Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega) and give your son a TON of it. 2 of my soft gels contain 650 mg of EPA and 450 mg of DHA, however, with my ADD brain I need more than 2. I take 4. Another great brand is Jarrow EPA-DHA balance. You son would probably need 3 soft gels (each soft gels contains a bit more EPA and DHA than Ultimate Omega - I used both brands, depending what's on sale). FYI - you CANNOT overdose on omega 3's, so you can give your son as much as he needs without worrying about a fish oil overdose! Omega 3's are the best "medicine" you can give your son - way better (and so healthy and natural) than a prescription ADHD medication! If he doesn't like to swallow soft gels, you can take a sharp knife and puncture the soft gels and squirt it in orange juice or any other drink and have him suck it down. That is what I do - I squirt them in my smoothies.

Another solution - healthy, nutritious food! Proper nutrition is super important for everyone, of course, but especially for people w/ ADD/ADHD. Your son needs to eat healthy, well-balanced meals! Start his day off w/ a very good breakfast - a healthy whole grain carb, a protein, and a healthy fat - example - a whole grain waffle, bagel, pancakes, etc., with eggs or turkey bacon cooked in extra version olive oil. The e.v.o.o. is the healthy fat. This combination is like food for our brain and helps stablize our mood and helps us focus. FYI - the EPA is a mood stabilizer, and the DHA helps the brain to focus. The combination of both of them, as well as proper nutrition should improve your son's ADD immensely! Try to have him eat a whole grain carb, protein and healthy fat at every meal, if possible (and don't forget his fruits and veggies). Forget the therapist, forget prescription meds. Do what I said and sit back and watch your son's improvement in school (and his mood)! And if you don't notice a big enough improvement - just increase his omega 3's. Best of luck

One more thing - you may want to get him an in-home private tutor to improve his failing grades. That is what I do with my 2nd grader and he loves his tutor and it's helping him a lot!

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Many people who have adrenal fatigue (low cortisol) and also have low blood sugar are mistakenly diagnosed with ADHD. the reason the ADHD meds actually help is because serotonin raises cortisol!! However, these drugs are not the answer. Serotonin drugs can be overprescribed (when the drugs are not doing enough, the doctor ups the prescription or adds another drug to the mix), and the child can get serotonin syndrome poisoning, (google it) which can cause permanent nuerological damage.

My daughter has addisons, and she has learning difficulties. Memory issues are a big problem. One of the girls on her adrenal website, who has known proven low cortisol, was told by a therapist it was ADHD. So the mother turned away from the true cause and blindly followed this other person in the hopes that ADHD drugs would help. Sad.

Google hypoglycemia and look at the symptoms.. Hypoglycemia is caused by low cortisol hormones from the adrenal gland.

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