Teen Stupidity Today at the dentist...HELP!

I think the real problem here, is that (and I don't now how they are generally overall), but gee, they really have a bad attitude toward you, don't listen, don't respect much, blatantly diss you and what you say.

So, today at the Dentist, just really showed them in plain daylight, what their attitudes are... and their minimal respect.

Or are they, besides at the Dentist, just so nice and amicable and respectful?

For me, I would have been pissed, because it was not a 'dental' problem... but an overall attitude problem and they had no care at all, for how they acted. THEN they told you "who cares" and then they are now barely speaking to you for 'ratting them out". They still do NOT understand... how THEIR actions/attitude, is just plain wrong and so not nice. AND they don't even care.
That to me, is the problem.

My daughters are 17, 16 and 12. I would have done the same thing. I found that they don't like the string floss. I buy them the floss picks that they prefer. It gets the job done and it makes them happy. You can buy a 100 count box for $1 at the Dollar Tree.

I wouldn't have put the dentist in an awkward situation like that. They were already told about oral hygiene by the staff once, twice won't do much better.

They are old enough to take care of their teeth without being harped on by mom. If they choose not to floss, then if or when they get painful cavities and gum disease they hopefully they will have jobs in which the bills will come out of their pockets.

Really though, proving a point through humiliation kind of does the opposite of what is intended. I do think they should be grounded for the disrespect they showed though.

I rarely floss by the way. I just forget, I have great teeth.

You did them a favor.. the fact that they were "humiliated" shows that they know they were wrong.. I am terrible about judging people based on their teeth. It is the first thing I look at. I try not to judge, but I always feel like, you can have crooked teeth if they are clean and bright, but stained,
gross build up of plaque, freaks me out!

I agree about the Floss picks and making them pay for any dental procedures that go beyond regular check ups..

Please forgive me because I giggled picturing the whole scenario! I am not laughing at you because I totally understand your frustration with them! Teens can be such brats at times. As far as flossing? Well, I must admit I am terrible at remembering to floss but your girls throwing it in the trash in front of you was pretty daring. I think maybe you need to tighten the belt on their extracurricular expenses (ie: movies, going out with friends) telling them you need to "save up" for their next dentist visit since it's apparently going to be expensive. It's only fair, right?

Make a deal with them. No dentist is going to scare them straight. Apologize for ratting them out, explain why you did it, and offer the following: No more floss talk from you, ever... but from here on out...they are each personally responsible for half their dental bills without any argument or problems. They will figure it our real quick.

have them pay for any charges above and beyond the basics, anything that stems from their poor dental hygiene.
hit 'em where it hurts.
khairete
S.

I'm sorry that I have no words of advice as my two are 4 and 5, but I wanted to give my two cents about what you did since you asked - I think what you did was absolutely GREAT! What your kids did was stupid and they deserved to be "called out" and suffer a bit of humiliation. They'll get over it. The unfortunate part is that their behavior - about taking care of their teeth - probably won't change. You may have to take something away from them, like their allowance or something else valuable to them, to pay for their dental work - if they're not going to take care of their teeth, then THEY should have to PAY the consequences...

First they are teens, not adults and their frontal lobes are not fully developed to be able to fully reason it all out. So, they are being their age. Flossing is not cool. With that said, I bet you could make them want to floss as much as you want them too by letting them know that if they can not voluntarily take care of their own bodies properly, then you will see to it that they can afford the consequences of not, so if the Dr. charge $100 to clean every 6 months, that is the equivalent of $0.55 a day. they can pony up the 55 cents every day or floss, then they can make an intelligent decision cause it directly affects them and if they choose badly, then they are paying for the natural consequences physically & financially! Hope this helps you....I think this would put the problem on them and not you AND is respectful to all parties....the ratting them out was really not respectful and really wasn't productive or beneficial for them or your relationship with them, so yeah, it probably wasn't the best way to go, but hey, you were acting emotionally cause you were caught in the moment. the ratting them out was to humilate them and it did do that, but hind sight, probably not the most adult way to go or best role modeling, so your human. Aren't we all, you give them other options for future visits & care & floss and you get a new clean slate as well! Win Win. Best of Luck to you and I think it is great that you love them enough to care enough about them to want them to want better for themselves. That is more than alot of kids have!!

I agree that I would be far less ticked about the actual flossing than I would their attitude towards you and the situation as a whole.
I don't think you did anything wrong, but I wouldn't focus on the flossing so much. They were completely rude.
If they don't want to floss, fine. You can quit taking them to the dentist and if they want to go, they can pay for it.
They can also pay for their clothes and anything they want until they change their attitude.
Teens can be real poop heads. You don't have to just put up with it.
As for their teeth, they'll be singing a different tune if one of them gets an absess or needs a root canal. A) Super painful B) SUPER expensive

Best wishes.

You are 100% right for what you did!! The should be humiliated for acting that way!! They also should pay you back for their dentist visit too!! And if they still continue to act this way, they can pay you back for how ever much you pay for the dental insurance that you pay for and the cost of all dentist visits after that.

Good luck!
S.

They can tell if you do or don't floss as soon as you open your mouth. They busted themselves out.

I'm BIG into flossing because 70% of stains are in between the teeth and account for the yellow look. Floss equals WHITE TEETH!

I'd personally take away ALL the toothbrushes, tooth paste and floss and say they are designed to be used together. If they can't floss, they can't brush. Bet they don't want to go to school with SKUNK BREATH!

String floss is horrible, buy the floss picks. SO much better!

I'd also suggest a tongue scraper. Best thing EVER! You can also get them at The DOLLAR TREE!

I think making them pay for the dental visit might help them realize that there are consequences....I say knowing that I myself rarely floss but got a bit of a wakeup call this morning when my 4 year old saw me yawn and was freaking out about the black stuff on my teeth.....my fillings in the back. Yikes.

BRAVO TO YOU! I think they should pay for their dental bill... and if possible, schedule cleanings every other month and have them pay for those too... so all their extra money will go right to the dentist!

Make them pay for the dental bill everytime they have a cavity with their own money...

I would have been much more mad about their crummy attitude!! They may be smart, but they really need an attitude adjustment.

Nope, not wrong at all.

And because of that attitude, I would have them pay for a portion of the dentist's bill. And tell them that next time they will pay for half.

Yes, my teens (youngest son in particular) have been known to act like this about their teeth.

Momma L., you are lucky that you have great teeth without flossing. Some people just have strong teeth like that. My ex husband could get away with never brushing (and grossing me out with his breath), but had never had a cavity in his life. Many people aren't fortunate enough to have such strong teeth, and not flossing will cause cavities.

I agree...Make them pay......

Well they are teens.
You were correct, and they need to do enough chores to pay you back for the 250$
Humiliating- if they hadn't been jerks-
They really need to pay you back, not ok what they did.
best, k

I always hated flossing when I was younger. Lol. I agree with Marci to try the floss picks... or they make flossers that are shaped like a toothbrush, but you snap on and off the new floss 'cartridge' thing. Either way, they aren't such a hassle to use. I don't blame you for trying to enforce the hygene thing, it IS important. I wish my parents had enforced it more with me... I have to remind myself to brush my teeth, and I can't remember the last time I flossed... and even though I do have naturally strong teeth, I am definitely noticing a lot more sensitivity and have a lot more toothaches than what is normal... and I don't have the extra money to go pay for the dentist, so I just have to live with it. Enforcing it now will set them up for a lifetime of good hygene habits... BUT I almost think that fighting them on it will make them rebel more, so maybe a compromise is in order...like getting them the picks, or a water flosser (heck, maybe paying for the fancy water flosser will get them to use it... nothing like a cool new toy to enforce flossing!), or something.

'only floss the teeth you want to keep' is a good saying I read a few years back.

I hated the drilling so after getting a cavity in my teens I have never had one since. I would make your kids pay for anything beyond normal cleaning.

I heard the suggestion once that make them floss their teeth in front of you once and then when they have flossed their teeth (especially the back ones) have them smell it (if they don't floss regularly it will smell bad) then explain to them that is what their breath smells like or will smell like sooner or later if they do not floss.. I know it sounds gross but might gross them out enough to start doing it. Who wants to walk around school with stinky breath??

Tell them that boys are not interested in girls who have stinky breath and that plaque between their teeth is the cause of stinky breath. Flossing will get rid of the plaque. That should do it ;)

I buy my kids the flossers that are like a U-shaped tool with floss attached. They find it much easier to use and will actually use them. They also rinse with ACT which seems to help with cavities as well. The attitude is partly a teen thing but it is time to nip it in the bud: go on strike and let them take care of themselves for a while. See how long they like being "adults". I like the ideas about making them pay for their own check-ups. Do it right now: pay for the cleanings and make them pay for the fillings. Time to be the mom and be strong and set some limits.

My first instinct would be to tell them how unattractive bad dental hygiene is. I don't know if this will help with teenagers or not as I am still in the preteen stage.

If anyone comes up with the hygiene trick that will actually work with kids, I will be happy to hear it. Seems like I am reminding my boys about something all the time.

I do think a financial aspect is a good idea. My sister actually took off her own braces with pliers (we were poor, this was a huge financial burden, she really needed them) because she was such a defiant teenager. Now in middle age she is really paying the price for crooked teeth and no money to fix them. I guess what I am saying is that if you can find a way to convince them of the long term issue here, then you might have a chance to get them to change their behavior.

My husband is 43, and never flossed, cleans his teeth once a day only...and has no cavities.
I am 36, brush my teeth twice a day, and have a zillion. But I eat a lot of candy!
I think it is hard to floss, I find it hard to do, time consuming, awkward. so I feel for them, maybe you could try the flosser on a stick, or a waterpik instead.

My son, yes acts like this all the time, he gets the floss every time from the dentist, and uses it for a day, maybe, then never uses it again. but he does like the water pik, as it is fun to use.
I think they are just being kids, go easy on them - they will be gone soon, and have to pay their own dental bills! then they will see what it's like!

I completely agree with Lucila below. Like several other posters, I think the bigger issue is not the floss, it's the disrespectful way they responded to you by calously throwing the floss away. That was ridiculous.

Ground them. Make them pay by not funding fun, social activities (like going skating or to the movies with their friends). Calmly say, "Oh, I wish I could help you with that, but it's not in the budget now since I had to pay ____ at the dentist that I wasn't expecting to pay. Maybe next time."

as a mom of two teens myself, i wish you good luck!

I would nicely tell them that if they can't be responsible for something like taking care of their own teeth (which we only have ONE chance at!), then you will NOT be able to trust them with the big things like dating and driving when they get older. If they have no respect for the cost of the dentist, they won't for the cost of the car, gas, insurance either. Good luck!!!

welcome to the rebellious teens was it wrong no should you have done it yes. teens dont like being disciplined by making them responsible for their own actions and they will get over it life is tough and poor babies didnt get their way. waaaa ps bet they dont do that again :)

I think you were on the mark. So many kids today don't have half the care and concern of their parents that you are giving. They may be book smart and not into drugs or those kinds of "trouble" things. But so often self care goes unmentioned. I think you did the right thing. They will come around, don't feel guilty. If they are smart they will appreciate all you are teaching them one day.