Teenage Dating?

I think if he is a responsible young man then you should let them go alone. If you don't trust him at 16 will you ever?? This shows him that you trust him to make some pretty big decisions!!

16? gotta trust him. Let him go alone!

Is your stepson trustworthy? Is his potential date trustworthy? Start small - like dropping them off and picking them up from a movie. Have the girl over to your house. Or, if your son has his license, let him drive himself. Just give him a curfew. Build trust. He's gotta grow up sooner or later! Might as well have him do it on a foundation of trust with you. If you are too controlling he will go wild and will most likely start lying about where he's going/what he's doing! I know this from my own experience and what I've seen with some of my family members. I have nephews who don't know how to handle their freedom now that they're in college. They went crazy because all through high school their parents held their hand, controlled the who, what, when, where, why and how of every situation they were involved in. One of my nephews lost a nearly full-ride scholarship because he didn't have anyone to hold his hand in college. I'm not saying that's what will happen, but I've seen it in my own family, in myself and in my friends. Usually - kids will do what they want to do, so having open communication is important. Once that's shut off, it's hard to open up again. Good luck! Parenting teens is tough.

I agree with the other responses involving the movies. You may also want to suggest that they go in groups with other couples to a school activity such as a basketball or football game. Always know where your teenager is and talk to them ahead of time so that they know your rules regarding dating and opinions on teenage issues. Good luck!

As the mother of an 18 year old boy, I have been there, done that!!! My suggestion is simple, take them to the movies, make sure you give a specific time to pick them up. Let them have a little bit of freedom, if he has a cell phone, make sure it is left. I have gone to the movies at the same time as my son, not the same movie, and he was cool with that, also when we picked the girl up, I introduced myself to the parents. And gave them my cell number, overall, it was easy enough, when he started driving, then things changed, but we just kept an open line of communication with him, never accusing or asking too many questions. Now that he is 18 he appreciates that we monitored his dating, now he knows what is expected of him and when he saw how "dates" are supposed to be, he is very respectful and honest with us. It is scary and hard, but trust him and let him have some freedom, knowing that you have raised him to be trustworthy!!

I would encourage your son to group date. It is always more casual that way and couples tend to get in less trouble because they're not alone! Tell him to date away, just find a few other friends to do it with! I don't think he'll have trouble finding other 16 boys who want to date too! Help him come up with ideas other than dinner and a movie. Try hiking (fot. forest is very nice) a picnic, have a group of guys cook for a group of girls, etc..

I personally think that chaperoning (sp?) a date for a 16 year old is going a little overboard. I can certainly understand the worries you have over dating, but I also think that overprotectiveness creates rebellion and trouble where there might not otherwise be. That's not to say teens should just be able to run around all willy nilly without any parental involvement. I think you should let him go alone, but set some guidelines that must be followed. For example, set a curfew that must be adhered to. Also, I think it is perfectly reasonable to insist that you know where they will be going (what restaurant, what movie theater, etc.). Keep in mind that he will probably be going away to college in a few years, so he does need this time to practice being on his own, without Mom & Dad looking over his shoulder. Otherwise, college could end up being really big trouble time. All that freedom, and no experience in how to deal with it is a recipe for trouble. Also, that's not to say you can't ever go out with your son & his dates...my boyfriends and I often went out with my parents or his for dinner, to cookouts, etc. But not for the first few dates.

I also just want to say that it's refreshing to hear from the mother of a boy who is concerned with teenage dating and the troubles that can arise. In my experience, boys' parents tend to be much more laid back than girls'. I remember all of my boyfriends' parents had no problem with letting us hang out in his room with the door closed. (Not that I was doing anything that required privacy, I wasn't ready for that!) But regardless of if I were doing that stuff or not, there's NO WAY that my parents would have allowed that! I wasn't even allowed to bring boys in room for a few minutes with the door open! So it's nice to hear from a boy's parent who acts like my parents did. Hang in there!

M.

It's just a date. Give him a curfew and let him go hang out with his girl. Kids are akward enough at that age, you'll devastate him if you try to go. I bet if you tell him that he'll bag the whole deal and just go sometime when you think he's somewhere else...lying to you to avoid embarrassment.

Think of being 16 again and having your mom on your first date with you...WOW that's a rough thought. I bet my dad would have gladly gone out on every date I had with me. Thank goodness he showed some self restraint.

Let him spread his wings mom...and be proud, he's growing up!

I have a 13 year old son. I take groups of his friends to the movies at Metropolis Mall and drop them off for about 2 hours or so. There are girls in this group. I think it just depends on how responsible you think your kids are. My son likes girls and did have a so called "girlfriend" for a little while. She never came over but he saw her in school and she was in the group of friends but he "broke up" with her because she wanted him to hug her and hold her hand and he was not ready for any of that. I went on my first car date when I was 16. I think it just all depends on how you and your husband feel.

I am not looking forward to that! I would drop them off at the movies or somewhere like that. If you really feel uncomfortable I would maybe take them to the movies and you and your husband see another movie at the same time. We all remember what it was like not being able to do something at that age. Give him a little freedom but not enough to hang himself. Good luck with what you decide.

I would say if he is 16 and is a pretty responsible kid you should let them go. Of course you will want to know where they are going and set up an appropriate time for him to be home.

The whole part of that is trusting your child! At 16 I remember being only 8 yrs ago...I came and went as I pleased! My mom really trusted me! I was able to stay overnight places on school nights etc....Its only a few hours all parenting stlyes are different if you have a good kid anyway! It shold be fine!!!! sadly they will find a way ebhind your back if you don't allow it! it's just how the teenagers are today!

i believe you should go with them. i have 2 teenage kids and i go on their dates too

I highly recomend NOT going with them. Old enough to drive is old enough to go without mom and dad. Dinner and a movie isn't going to get anyone in trouble. Have you talked with him about it? I doubt he'd agree to you coming along and you are setting yourself up to be lied to as he "goes to friends houses" and finds ways to see her without you knowing. Please believe me...been there done that, my parents finally caught on and realized it wasn't worth the lies and it was better to know where I was and who I was with than to keep such close tabs that I wasn't up front with them. He may be the best kid in the world, but he's 16 and will do what he wants when pushed the other way!
Good Luck:)

I think you should let them go alone. try to rembembe what life was for you when you were 16. You also what your stepson to know that you can trust him. Let him have space to be a teenager. Know were they are going and have a time for them to be home. I thank trust is the best thing you can have with your children. and again put yourself in his shoes it's not easy being a teenager.

Well, I think that maybe you could let him go to a movie or somewhere pretty public for a few hours. Maybe even drop him off there and then pick him up later. I fear for this topic in my future because I am the mother of 2 boys myself. I always feel that 16 is still to young to have enough freedom to get into trouble. But they should have enough space to not become resentful of not doing what they want to do. All teenagers feel like they are ready for the world. When they dont have a clue. Lots of luck on this issue...

I would definatley let them go out by themselves to a movie or somewhere public, however my parents always want to talk to my dates parents and my dates themselves before hand, Just to make sure that everyone is on the same page and to learn a bit more about that person. I owuldnt go with them but would maybe go to a movie at teh same time if you were still uncomfortable with it. I didnt think it was too embarrassing at the time for our parents to talk and sometimes our parents would go out and actualy meet each other over lunch first. I hope that this helps!!!!

Hello my name is N. and I have 3 kids 14, 7, and5 years old. I am a baseball coach for 15 and 16 year old boys. In my opion if you have any trust in your step son let him go alone.If he is a kid that does not get into trouble, let him be himself. Most teenagers are diffrent people when parents are around. The first date is hard enough. For parents and kids. I hope I still have 2 more years before my teen asks to go on a date.

In our church (LDS) we aren't allowed to date until we are 16 and then it is group dating for the most part. Maybe you would feel more comfortable if she was with a group or on a double date. Also, if he is interested you could have movie night at your house or something along those lines. It is fun and you will be able to "pop-in" anytime. I know as a kid it drove me crazy but as a mother I appreciate what my parents did. Hope this helped!

Hi T....just a thought here...maybe they could go like you said for a few hours, but to somewhere really public, like the mall, or arcade...etc? That way if one of the parents picks up and drops off, it should be pretty innocent...I think anyway... :)

~J.

As a mother of 4 children aged 16-23, I think the more you can encourage group activities for the 16 year old, the better.In this society sexual contact is so prevelant and 16 year olds aren't very able to sort out the kind of devastation that usually brings outside of marriage. I think groups are safer and that's how you get to know what people are really like.