Teeth Brushing Nightmare!! - Monroe,WA

Updated on April 01, 2010
C.R. asks from Everett, WA
19 answers

Hi mamas,

My almost 2 year old has been really getting, shall we say, independent lately. She is fighting me on nearly everything, including brushing her teeth. She used to be pretty good about it, but not anymore. I let her take a turn brushing, I take a turn, but lately she won't even let me have my "turns" and she is not able to brush her teeth properly yet, of course. So, I usually end up giving up and I use a washcloth to clean her teeth - she screams all the way through and bites me, ugh! I'll do what I have to do because I do not want her to have all the dental work that I've had to have. But I just hate that it's such a negative thing. I don't want her dreading brushing her teeth every night, you know? I got her a fun toothbrush - it lights up - I've used regular toothbrushes. Any ideas for what I could try to make it fun or tolerable at the very least??

One more note - I've tried brushing them earlier, way before bed, before she's tired and this seems to work a little bit better. The only problem is that she usually wants a snack right before she goes to bed, which I'm totally okay with. But then I feel like I need brush her teeth again.

Thanks for reading!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone!! I used a combination of the ideas, so thanks you guys! I first started "moo-ing" and told her that I thought there was a cow in her mouth. She totally opened up and let me "brush it out!" Then I did all sorts of different animals. She wanted to look for animals in my mouth, too... So, I let her brush them out of my mouth, too (with MY toothbrush, of course, not hers). She kept opening her mouth and telling me there were more animals and she'd make animal noises. Awesome!! Thanks SOO much ladies!

Featured Answers

J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you tried an electric toothbrush? My son loves his. They have designs like Dora or Diego too. The spinning action is great for helping them out in their brushing. My son let's me help him, but he can do a fair job on his own with this type brush. I especially like that this brush seems to really massage his gums. That's my priority at this point.

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K.C.

answers from Medford on

All I can say is "they grow out of it." we went through this too when my DD was about 2 1/2, fought every night over it, then one night, she just brushed her teeth without a fuss, and it's mostly that way all the time since (she's 3 1/2 now). Sometimes we let her skip and brush teeth in the morning, and for a while we had her brush teeth in the shower... But it seemed more about her control / choice than the teeth brushing itself...

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

get her one of the toothbrushes that is battery powered and see if that helps. also there is one that has a musical handle. sometimes those will help

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I used to tell my son that "Uh-oh--I thought I saw something running in there...oh yes...here it is....a tiger? What's that doing in there?...Oh! And there's a giraffe over HERE...." He was so disoriented (I guess) he'd just let me take my turn at his teeth! Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

I have a 23 month old girl who gives me as much trouble! - My trick is that I say to her - "what song is in your mouth tonight?, open your mouth and let's see", so I sing dora, or backyardigans, or whatever song she likes, stop singing if she closes her mouth, start again when she opens - it works for me about 95% of the time, the other 5% I either use animal noises in the mouth, or I give up lol

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Do you brush her teeth in the morning? Our dentist recommends brushing our 3 yr old twice a day. Maybe help her one time a day and let her do it herself the other time.
I made up a toothbrushing song which helps for the length they need to brush and helps keep her focused on brushing. And I still help her/check her teeth after.

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L.C.

answers from Orlando on

I know she's only 2 so this might not be a good idea, but they make mouth wash for kids. Can you brush eariler in the evening like you said, then after her snack maybe she'll do the mouthwash? Practice having her swish water around in her mouth and spitting it out to see if she can do it

Also, if you are holding her down for the screaming/biting with the washcloth (which is NOT an effective way to clean teeth) then why not hold her down screaming and let her bite the toothbrush? My husband and I used to tell my son that we WILL brush his teeth but the choice is his if he wants to do it easy way (coorperate) or hard way (held down by one while the other brushes, screaming all the way)

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I suggest Spiffies tooth wipes and toothpaste. Its for kids.
www.spiffies.com and you can also get it on Amazon or E-bay.

It has Xylitol in it, which helps prevent tooth decay and cavities.

I use it on my kids, and I used it myself.

My son is like that too. But oh, well, have to brush and tooth wipe anyway.

All the best,
Susan

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A.A.

answers from Denver on

She needs to believe she has made the choice to have you brush them. That means you need to offer her multiple choices of which one is that she decides to let you brush them willingly, so that, for example, she doesn't have to have you use a washcloth on them like you have been.

If you offer her choices structured so that the one you want is the least irritating to her, she feels she has some control over her own autonomy and you still get what you need done.

It won't work the very irst time you try, necessarily, but if you keep laying it out for her with "Okay, it's time for teeth brushing. Tonight are you going to pick letting me take a turn with the brush, or are you going to pick fighting and having me do it with the washcloth that you really hate? It's up to you which it is. I don't care either way."

C.S.

answers from Medford on

my 2 year old does the same thing. I actually found a solution on mamasource from another mom. She played the "game" with food and I use Dinosaurs and other boyish animals, but the idea is the same. He brushes and tries to get the Aligator, shark, whatever out of his mouth...I point to where I see them and he scrubs away. Then there is ALWAYS a couple spesky ones that Mommy has to get because not matter how hard he scrubs they just wont come out...then mommy gets to do the "finishing touch"...I remind him that he has done a FABULOUS job, and mommy is just polishing them off. Their is one blus shark that we leave in there because he likes him, LOL. Maybe something like that might help "share" the job. My five year old daughter likes to brush out the unicorns? Are we strange or what??? :) I will do anything to keep the nightmare of brushing at bay. It used to be such a battle!

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P.L.

answers from Portland on

I would not sweat it too much. She is only two. I do not think too much damage can happen. My son did the same thing. He refused to let me help him. By the time he was four, he allowed me to brush his teeth after he finished brushing them. I also started taking him to the dentist at three. His teeth were and are fine even though we struggled with brushing in the very early years. So don't stress yourself out.

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J.C.

answers from Florence on

Oh my gosh! I am a freak about my girls teeth. After I brush their teeth, no eating and no drinking anything but water. Food and any sugar will build up bacteria in her teeth through the night. You don't want that. Truthfully my kids fight me most of the time but I asked my dentist what I could do and she said her kids fought her too. It is a natural thing and so even though they may be mad at me for brushing their teeth, I always say that they will thank me when they get older just not right now. Sometimes you have to do what is best for your kids and they may not like it. Good luck!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

You are in the "terrible twos!" and you are locked in a power struggle with her. Next time it is tooth brush time time try giving her the tooth brush with tooth paste and walking away. This is the opposite of what she expects.

You are removing your attention from her, just the opposite of what she wants. She wants you locked in the bathroom with her. Don't be surprised if she screams at you to come back, or runs after you and hold on to you clothing to keep you in the room.

Tell her you will only come back if she stops screaming and will calmly let you help in the tooth brushing. You might have to do this a number of times to reinforce this.

Stay calm, if you feel like screaming go out side, lock the outside door so she can't get out, and scream. (I used the shower.)

You will need to choose your battles during this year--some battles are not worth fighting, so don't even begin. The battles you choose to fight, fight to win and don't give up.

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V.R.

answers from Portland on

Definetly don't give up on the brushing, fight or no fight. this is a good reminder for me because my three year old still throws fits, and wants all the control. But we need to make sure the teeth are brushed well. I just spent a few hundred dollars on filling for my three year old and just turned six year old. So as you know, the brushing is very important.
I have tried making a game out of it with looking for animals also, like some of the other suggestions. That worked great. I'll have to remember to try that again. I would say something like "is that a purple giraffe in there"? Just make up silly things like that. The kids really get into it and I guess they forget about the fight. :)

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think you are doing a great job. Just keep at it and try to give her control by continuing to ask," your turn first or mommy fist?"

Also let her brush your teeth. Thank her and say "my turn to brush your teeth.".

Maybe both of you brush your teeth at the same time facing each other..

This is just a typical 2 year old wanting to do it all herself..
I am sending you strength.

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A.C.

answers from Seattle on

dont give up my daughter was the same way and now she is 6 (and still the same way). I wish I could go back in time and not give to letting her brush. The dentist told me to just let her scream because her mouth is wide open and you can brush better. I did that for awhile but eventuallly let her do it. Big mistake.

Good luck

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C.D.

answers from Eugene on

I have a very "spirited" 26 month old daughter. She can be a tough cookie at times and throws some temper tantrums that are out of this world. For some reason though, teethbrushing is a really easy process for us every night. Here are some things we do:
1. We don't have flouridated water where I live so we have to give our daughter flouride drops after brushing every night. For some reason, she loves her "special medicine". So I use the flouride as a reward for brushing her teeth and she knows if she isn't a good girl, she won't get her medicine. 2. Also, I also have two fun toothbrushes and she gets to choose which one to use and then I use the other and then we take turns.
3. And lastly, I think you really need to "put the fun" back into the teeth brushing process. It seems your daughter hates it because it is stressful, no fun and as you said "such a negative thing." Try to have fun with it, smile and laugh, and give her lots of good hugs and kisses when she lets you brush her teeth.

Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from Corvallis on

My daughter is the same....a strong will indeed. What will usually work is if I get a puppet "Gorilla" or "Panda" and I have the puppet brush her teeth and then she can brush the puppet's teeth afterwards. She loves that. Then, sometimes what works is if I say, "Uh oh...I think I see a blueberry from dinner, and then she lets me brush them." Keep it novel and interesting, do not force it, try to get creative. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

I got a great idea from a post a few years ago on this... with both of my kids, I pretend to look for something in their mouths. With my daughter, it was zoo animals-- "Oh, is that a hippo? What's that lion doing back there?" -- and with my son, it was SpongeBob characters (it helps to do their voices and be silly)...

They can't see in their mouths, and kids have great imaginations, so this worked beautifully for both my kids...

Good luck!

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