Terrible 2'S a Little Early

My son will be 2 next week, and we have been going through the terrible two's for a while. It hasn't gotten worse, the closer he gets to 2. I did the spanking thing, and like you said I think it led to him hitting. He is now telling us no constantly, he wakes up telling me no. He has started talking in his sleep and I swear the other night it was no mommy no. He says really mean like. The one thing I do that seems to get his attention is put him in time out in his crib. I have to put him somewhere that he can't get out and he is away from us. When he moves to the big boy bed, I'm going to have to figure out something else. I've also seen that if he does hit us or be really mean, then we will act like we are upset and almost crying and he immediately stops and says sorry. I then tell him that's not nice, bla bla bla.
I don't want a spoiled child either by any means, but it just gets to a point sometimes where you don't know what else to do. It's really bad when he acts like this in public.
Good Luck, and if you find something new that works let me know. :)

Give time out a try again. With my 16 month old son we have been using time out for about 2 months now and it works. We use the same chair (if possible)in the same spot for 3 minutes everytime we even set a timer for 3 minutes and it dings when it is time for him to get up.

Mine does this as well (same age too)!

Instead of slapping the hands, hold his arm and restrain it so he can't hit. It seems to work, and I have read it will help as well.

My DD started this at 18 months... I get slaped alot myself and she does excactly what yours is doing. She is VERY definant as well. I have handled it the same way you are. As a first time mom myself I am a bit lost as to what to do. I have started Time Out where when I find her doing something she is not alowed to do or when she hits I put her in a designated spot for 1 min. If she gets up the clock starts all over again.

Good luck!

You are not alone! My DD has started some of this behavior also. You did not explain exactly what about time out does not work. We use time our with my dd and it seems to work most of the time. First I give her a warning "if you do that again, you will have a time out" Now if she bites or hits I skip the warning and put her straight in time out. then when she does the behavior again, I tell her that I am sorry she made that choice and put her in her room on the carpet. If she gets up, I put her back. They generally say to put them in timeout for one minute per age (ex: 1 year=1 minute). The most important thing is to be consistent and firm. Everytime he hits, does not follow directions, etc, put him in time out. Also follow through with what you say, if you tell him "one more time and you will go to time out" then follow through and put him in time out when he does it again. He will learn what is ok and what is not ok.
I think kids tend to test their parents more than daycare providers, so that is why it may be happening at home more than school.
Good luck and it will get better as long as you start now setting the limits and helping him know your expecations.