That Girl

You grew up! At some point in life, the majority of the population ends up in the same boat. Popularity generally only exists in school, or groups of really toxic people.

I should mention any of the super "popular" people I know, are miserable. The people that everyone wants to be like, are typically very lonely. "It's lonely at the top," is a saying for a reason. Just focus on all the wonderful things around you. Life is much happier when you do that!!

Hmmmm....define "popular"!?

I think if you like what you see and you can look people in the eye because you're proud of the life you have and are living....you're good.

If you're a good friend, a good mother, a good wife, daughter and a good person, you've got it ahead of 50% of the population, right?

As for the term "outcast," hard to say by what you mean by that. Have you done something "wrong"? Have you been ignored by friends & family? Have you made an unpopular decision? Sometimes the best decisions are the really hard ones, you know!

.

Eh, more likely your perceptions have changed, and thank God for it! Welcome to GrownUpHood!

:)

Don't know. My daughter was the odd kind of popular, still is. Then again she was popular because she always had everyone's back so they still look out for each other.

I was never popular, I am now.

Maybe it comes down to be nice to nerds they will be your boss one day.

Sorry if I am rambling, just not sure how to answer this question.

All the popular kids from my high school run some mighty fine McDonalds now.

I'm not trying to be mean, but, are you serious? How old are you? Popular? Outcast? Those words don't exist in my adult world.

I didn't care about being popular in high school & I sure as hell don't care about it now. Most of the popular people in high school were ugly people, superficial, slept around, etc. Too much pressure to be skinny, perfect, put out, etc. No thank you!

Your life is what you make it. This is the real world, not high school. Worrying what others think and being envious of others is an utter waste of time. As long as you are a good person, and living an honorable life, who cares?

C.:

Welcome to Mamapedia!! I see this is your first question!!!

What happened to you? nothing. It's called life. Things changed, priorities changed...it's called growing up!!!

The Outcast? Not sure how you figure that. You've not given a lot of information to us to be considered an Outcast.

If you are an Outcast - is it possible that your envy comes out that you are negative? I know people don't like to be around people who are negative all the time. Pity me. Woe is me. Things like that - you don't make the money you used to make, you don't have the huge house anymore...you don't go to all the parties...see all the "don'ts" there?

Ask your friends who have known you a long time and see what they say. Look in the mirror....maybe video tape yourself during the day and watch what you say and do....it's amazing what people do and say...

*Sigh*

I don't know, but to me this sounds really sad. It makes me think of the high school football & cheerleading stars who were living the best years of their lives right then, but they didn't know that it was all downhill from there for them.

Most people blossom as they become adults (which is not in high school by the way) & realize that stuff exactly like what you wrote has absolutely no relevance in real life. I mean, who lives a happy life AND is concerned with whether or not people envy them? Not only do I not envy a single soul, but I would prefer it if nobody envied me, but in all honesty, even if they did, I most likely wouldn't know it because it's just not who I am as a person. I do not believe in keeping score because I'm well aware that what I may be lacking in money & all of the stuff that goes along with that, I more than make up for with love, health & happiness.

You make your own happiness, nobody else. What you have (or don't have for that matter) compared to what anyone else does or doesn't have in all honesty has absolutely no bearing what-so-ever on your personal happiness. Unless you let it. Change your way of thinking & viewing the world into a more adult manner & I bet you'll see an amazing difference in your outlook on things.

awww. it's life. it comes it goes you just smile through it :)

Hell if I know but we are both in the same hand basket!!

Honestly, I really don't care where I fall in the realm of life and popularity. I am who I am today because of the choices I made and the values that I have for myself and my life. No one is accountable for your happiness except you. Be happy in who you are and give up the mentality that you need to be like anyone else. God made you just the way you are--embrace it!

M

I have been one of many types of ''People''.

I was never one of the most popular girl. Gag me, I had enough ''Popular'' friends that if there was ever a party I had to go to, I got invited.

You will find your groove. And everyone feels like an outcast at some point in there life.

Maybe it is ok you are the outcast at this point in your life. Maybe you need a mental break from all the action, that can come with that position.

It is natural. Nothing happened. You are human.

Life happens. It's all transient anyway. If you are happy with your life, it's fine. If you aren't happy, don't make it about those things-- find out what is really making you feel unhappy and see what can be done to change it, then take ownership of changing it.

Nothing in life is permanent. If we get stuck holding onto past definitions of ourselves, we stay stuck. Find out what you like about your life right now, too. Chances are, you may have more to be thankful for than you did before. It's easy to idealize aspects of our past until we remember the full truth of them. I was once cuter, slimmer, livelier and more outgoing, but I'm so glad I'm not that person now. :)

Your post is really curious to me... I think that sometimes in life we look at who we've become and what we've done and wish that things were different. Or maybe we aren't where we hoped we'd "be" at a certain time in our life.

But the lovely part of this life is that it is what you make it. You are who you choose to be, and if you aren't happy with yourself or your life you can change it. It doesn't happen over night, and certain things take longer and more work to fix, but it's amazing what were capable of.

I didn't read the responses, and I suspect that there will be some that criticize your wording and find it immature. But I think this is a legitimate worry that lots of people have an different times in their lives. Usually it means that we are ready (and needing) to grow in a different direction or that we have done that and aren't quite comfortable with the changes.

I wish I knew more about what you're feeling down about. I'll go out on a limb and say that most of us have been there.

Good luck~

You grew up? I guess I should have read the responses before I responded as it has already been said. But, seriously, you are presumably an adult so you shouldn't feel a need to be popular and envied.

i used to be pretty popular too...then i got married (many of my 'friends' don't like my husband), had a child (became MUCH more important than friends) and started being successful in my career (NOT compatible with being "ms. popular.") some things are more important to me, that's all. i have my family and a couple close friends. that is what matters. priorities shift :) you start to realize that pleasing others (the best way to be "popular") isn't always in YOUR best interest. or at least that's how it happened for me. you don't go into a lot of detail. but i think the key is to appreciate what you have now. that is in you, not whether you are "ms popular" or not.

PS, for what it's worth, after an awkward adjustment period, now that i have really found happiness i have noticed, i'm the one people are jealous of. not that that is a goal or anything. just saying. focus on yourself and your life and your family, and really learn to appreciate them, and the rest takes care of itself. before long you don't even have to try.

What are you envying? Who are the people you envy?

Just curious.

C., the mamas are not being fair to you. Yes, it does hurt. And yes mean and poular girls are not just in high school--WE/THEY are on the jobs, at the gym, on tv.

Find a new clique of pals that feed you need. I find that my family makes me feel like a geek but my friends think I am the stuff. And I am 40+!

According to Hindu Astrology we go through various stages called Doshas. You live in LA. So does Chakrapani Ullal one of the greatest Vedic Astrologers in the world. I went to him years and years ago and everything he told me was absolutely true.
I am now a year plus into learning Vedic Astrology. I'll never be as great as he is since he's over 50 years at it since earliest childhood.