The Birds and the Bees - Plano,TX

There is a great book made by the American Girl series. It is called the care and keeping of me. I bought it for my daughter and it was great. I say give that to her and open the door.
Good luck!

My mother had some of these more difficult discussions in our car...I couldn't leave to avoid the topics and there was no eye contact...made things a little easier on both of us. Just a thought.

"It's a Girl Thing" How to stay healthy, safe, and in charge by Mavis Jukes has been perfect for my 11 year old.

I didn't give it to her, of course - that would be 'embarrassing'... I bought it for me and let her see me reading it. When she asked why I told her I thought she might be asking some questions soon and I wanted to be ready with the answers, in a way that wasn't gross or boring.

I left it on the back of the toilet, and a month later she had devoured it.

S.

i've had one talk with my 11 yr old and i'm sure i'll have many more over the years. i read a book, figured out was relavent for him, then talked about those things. i'll probably do a similar pattern about once a year or so. yes i'll cover birth control. abstinence only works if they choose it. they have to know about all their options.

I have a great recommendation. We homeschool and the book I'm using is by Sandi Queen. She writes curriculum. Anyway, after she had tried to find books she felt were appropriate she decided to write her own. It's very good and isn't over the top explicit. She has a few so as your daughter matures you can order another book to take her to the next level. The website is www.queenhomeschool.com and you can look at it online for yourself. I agree with the others that having an open line of communication is essential.

Blessings to you as you embark on this journey.

L.

When my daughter was nine, we had the talk. I searched for books and was disappointed in the choices. However, American Girls has a book about girls and puberty. I can't remember the name, however I got it at Barnes and Noble. It was about her body changes and what she needs to do (hygiene, cleanliness, etc.) She read it and then we talked bout the book. It worked well. I liked this book particularly because it did NOT get into the dating/sex aspects. We had that conversation AFTER she read the book and it is ongoing as she maturing. Good Luck!!

Whatever you do, be open, honest and don't make things seem "dirty".

I talked to my daughter and like another poster, we talked while in the car or doing something together...not at a table face to face. She often woud say "Ugh, TMI". At that point, we'd stop for a while and then pick up another time. I did stress that she would hear a lot of different things and if she had ANY questions, to come to me and we would find the correct answer.

We keep a wide open policy of communication around here where no topic is off limits and she feels free to say anything on her mind with no judgement. Sometimes it amazes me at what she is sharing with me about friends, personal feelings, etc.

She was also in a class at school (4th grade I think) that went over some things. There is also Health class in Middle School that goes over a lot.

I noticed an ad on the Playtex tampon box where you could send in for info and I did that. They sent a video, phamplets, samples. I needed the samples because I had my surgery in 2001 and forgot all about cramping and the yuck once a month.

A couple of friends got the book "Care of Keeping of You" and said it was good.

Best wishes to you and welcome to the preteen/teen world!

Be honest about it, also find out what she already knows about it, it can be surprising. TV and just the society we live in teaches our children that everyone is doing it, and it's okay as long as you are protected. That is very important to be protected, but there is more than getting pregnant. There are so many STDs out there besides HIV-AIDS, not only that, but how your reputation is important to your spouse and more so to her. There is a double standard out there when it comes to boys and girls. I'm faith base and try to instill in my daughter as well as my son that it's important to wait until you are married. Just the other day on the news there was a 12 year old boy holding a baby in his arms saying how he was a "proud daddy"; 12 years old!... He's still a kid, child himself.
As parents we can't lie to ourselves saying that our child wouldn't do that, it's important to be up front and honest with them. And especially with our daughters, we have to let them know that boys are interested in one thing and will say anything to get it. We need to build their confidence up so that some boy can't take advantage of them; let them know their purity is a REAL TREASURE. I'll be honest with all you mothers that are reading, I was brought up to wait until I got married, some boy came along and told me he "LOVED Me" that got me then after I felt so horrible when he broke up with me 3 days later. You can't get it back either. I talked more to my sisters, my mom gave my older sister the talk, however my sister was told it was messy, smelly and hurt really bad. My sister stayed a virgin until her wedding night, and was still scared to do it then, she isn't big in pain.
Good luck with the talk,

Oh my friend, I will be watching this topic closely. I have a 9 year old daughter that seems to be developing more quickly than others her age and I know I need to have this talk with her as well. I just mentioned to my husband YESTERDAY that I needed to have "the talk" with our daughter. We've already had the period talk, and I've explained the science behind conception, but not the...method, if you will. I'm terrified of how my daughter will react as she's quite the prude and I think she will be shocked when I tell her.

My mother never had the talk with me and I never felt comfortable asking her anything about sex. The way I found out about it was one day I was walking through the breezeway in our apartment complex with some friends and the "f" word was written on the wall (government housing in Dallas back in the late 70s). Anyway, I asked what did that word mean and one of the older girls with us explained in very graphic detail what it meant. I didn't believe her. Then, a little while later when I was 12, I was visiting a friend out of state over the summer and her little brother's babysitter's son, who was a friend of my friend, got a hold of his parents' very x-rated movies (we're talking quadruple X), which we proceeded to watch one day when his parents weren't home. Turned out that girl in the breezeway was right, oh my.

Oh ladies, please please help! I definitely need some guidance on this one too! Thanks so much for asking about this A.!!

Blessings,
N.

I recently read some good advice about talking to your kids about difficult things.

1. Talk about it in the car. It makes it more comfortable for both of you since you are not making direct eye contact and you are more likely to have their complete attention as opposed to at home where there are distractions.
2. Segway into the talk by bringing up some recent news story ("Wow I wonder how Jamie Lynn Spears is doing as a Mom" Do you understand how she became pregnant and on and on and on.
3. Let them tell you what they know and then base your conversation and how much info you give based on that and their age. Give some details now and next year give a little more, and the next year a little more. etc.

I don't have experience, but honesty and simplicity I think are key. My mom barely talked about this stuff - I think I learned about it from school and my much older sister. RESPECT needs to be a big buzzword from here on in - respect of her own body, of her sexuality and development, and of consequences of actions. Abstinance is the only 100% foolproof way to NOT get pregnant, but that only works if you abstain! Knowledge plus morals/ethics = success. Kids need to know why they shouldn't and not just how to protect themselves - this of course is a converstion for when she's a bit older, but you can lay the groundwork now when she's getting the basics.

You also want to know what she already might "know" or have heard, cause kids talk and you might need to correct some bad info too. Good luck!

You don't won't her finding out from others, so start with that. "I know it is time to share this information with you. I wanted to be the one to tell you about it so that you could ask questions. I also want you to have the correct information. Sometimes other kids get the wrong information, so I want you to always feel you can come to me when you hear something so you can be sure you get the right information."

Then, have prepared what you want to share. Start with your personal values, but don't go overboard. Don't preach. Keep the session fairly short. Tell the truth, but be careful not to give too too much information. You want her to have the true facts, but she is still young.

You will do great!

This is ESSENTIAL for your daughter at her tender age:

The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library) - $10

Link: http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-American-Library/d...

I highly recommend it!!! I think it will help so much when it comes time for "the talk." Although I did not give my daughter "the talk" until after she started her period and was more mature (she was 13). Good luck!!

If your school district is like ours, all they teach at school at this age is the changes the body goes through during puberty. The actual reproduction lessons do not come until 6th grade.

I have a 10 year old daughter as well. When she was 8 turning 9 I purchased a series of books called "God's Design for Sex". (Christian Book Distributors had the best price at the time) I think these books can be used to assist in shaping our children's character. The first book is for ages 3-5 and is very simplistic, yet uses correct terminology for specific body parts. The 2nd book is for ages 5-8 and is more specific. I am not sure I would have read them to her when she was 5. I read both the 1st and 2nd books to my daughter in the same evening when she was almost 10. I then left them out for her to look through and checked back with her a week later to see if she had any questions. She did not at that time. There are actually 5 books in the series but I am not ready to read through the next one with her. I may not ever use the 5th book as I believe it is too detailed.....I may change my mind in a few years. A few months after reading the first two books with her, I used the American Girl book to talk about hygiene, specific changes in her body,etc. It too, has been very helpful. I want my daughter to feel as though it is OK to talk about these topics with me. I hope this information is helpful to you.