The Great Debate - Bottle or Breast?

Updated on September 23, 2010
V.H. asks from Phoenixville, PA
85 answers

So the great debate is continuing - breast or bottle? I'm almost 34 weeks and I still can't decide. I'm thinking of supplementing, but it can be tricky. On one hand, so far I have cans of formula and bottles/bottle accessories all ready to go. On the other, I still want to attempt breast feeding (I've bought 2 nursing bras). My mother and husband say formula (even though my husband is supportive of either), my friends say breastfeeding. I've read the ups and downs to both. Nothing is "ideal". Formula isn't natural, it's expensive, it's time consuming (pre-preparing before going out, clunking around in the middle of the night), and it doesn't have the benefits of antibodies. Breastfeeding however can (but not in all cases) cause clogged ducts, mastitis, yeast infections (also thrush in the baby), bleeding, initial pain... not to mention more diaper changes, more spit up (because it's thinner than formula), and dependence. Even with a pump (which are expensive except if you rent one) I would need a few nursing bras, nursing pads, ointments, etc. If I bottle feed, my husband can feed the baby, I can feed him wherever without getting stared at, I know how much I would be feeding him, I can eat whatever I want and I don't have to be on a special diet (specific caloric intake, no alcohol, stay on prenatals)... But with breastfeeding, it's ready whenever I need it, it burns calories, my body will return to normal faster, less chance of breast/ovarian cancer, the baby will overall be healthier. So, moms who have had to deal with this issue - give me some feedback! What do you think?

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So What Happened?

Formula is really expensive, and I did originally want to give breastfeeding a try. So I decided to attempt breastfeeding. I started bleeding within the first day. I got help from a lactation consultant who helped me pump, but I could only breast feed (with a little pain) for about 24 hours before my supply slowed down. My son spits my nipple out. He likes to breastfeed but usually falls asleep before a full feeding. My pediatrician told me that my nipples are on the small side (sorry TMI?) so that could be why he's having a hard time latching. So I've been pumping and feeding him with bottles. So I would definitely appreciate any other tips or advice you have and THANK YOU moms for all of the feedback.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

There is no question that breast is way better in every way. Health, convenience, expense. I can't imagine having to spend that much time sterilizing bottles instead of just popping out a breast.

I got used to pulling out my breast in public pretty quickly, after some initial qualms.

Here's the single benefit to bottle-feeding: dad can do it.

And I have to echo the others: I think the cons of breastfeeding that you cite are erroneous.

That said, you are not the Devil if you choose to bottle feed.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

You could give breast feeding a try to see how it works out. I have to tell you that my exclusively formula fed daughter was never sick and we were/are closer than ever....and she's adopted (and 17 years old).

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

This is a very personal decision for you and one that only you can make. Please don't let people make you feel guilty one way or the other because it is your body, your baby and your family.

I was not a breastfeeder. I was formula from the start, that was my plan and my Dr was well aware of it and supported me. HOWEVER, I was bombarded in the hospital with the BF league attempting to make me BF like it or not and not allowing us access to formula. I thought my decison was clear to all staff and it was not. My mistake there.

AFTER my husband kicked them out, got the Dr involved it was then we began the process we planned. I resented the way the BF's treated me at the hospital and still harbor that resentment. No one should be judged for making their own decision for their own family.

SO, make your decision clear from the get go.

That said....my 15 yr old is a picture of health. Perfect teeth, no need for ortho, great skin, rarely sick, health conscious very active girl, not an ounce of fat on her lean body.

Do what is right for you and your family and brush off what people try to force on you.

Congratulations !

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Who says you have to chose one OR the other?

I did both with both of my kids. I still gave them a really healthy start and a good immune system... I still got my bonding time... And I was still able to leave them with someone else without pumping an oz. Or make 'dad' get up in the middle of the night. : )

One last thing... I only breastfed for the first few months because where I work (in a shop full of guys), there isn't anywhere besides the bathroom to pump once I went back. Who the heck wants to sit on a toilet while pumping and eating your lunch? Gross.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

I have to agree you are worrying about things that will probably never happen. I breastfed both my kids 16 and 20 months respectively. Here's my 2 cents:

-I never had a clogged ducts, infection. bleeding, pain.
-I never bought a tube of ointment.
-They don't spit up because it's thinner. I had one spitter and one that literally never spit up-ever!
-I bought my nursing bras at wal-mart-less than $10.
-There are a million and one ways your husband can bond that don't involve feeding.
-I never had to change my diet. The vast majority of women don't.
-Yeah a pump is expensive but they are built to last. It's not a one baby item. You will have it for all your babies.
-Funny you talk about getting stared at. I stare at women who bottle feed! I try not to but it's just a knee jerk reaction. I breastfed my kids anywhere and everywhere and never once felt like I was being started at and I certainly was never asked to leave or cover up.
-I have to respectfully disagree about snacking at the breast and pacifier use. Baby will snack at the breast for comfort or to get more of the rich fatty hind milk that helps keep baby feeling satisfied and is essential for growth. It's also comfort for baby. What better way to be comforted in this big new world than in mom's arms super close and snuggly. Neither of my babies would take a pacifier to save my life! Wasn't going to happen! And neither ever touched their thumb.

The positives to nursing far outweigh any negatives you could possibly come up with.

My son was a preemie and pumping for him while he was in the hospital and unable to nurse was the one and only thing I could do for him. And it took me 6 weeks after he came home to teach him to nurse. But he was so much healthier for it. I had to get the MMR before I left the hospital and because he was a preemie I had to dump my milk for 2 long weeks. His little tummy was so upset that whole time. The minute he was back on my milk he was perfectly fine. It's truly amazing stuff!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Actually, the correct answer is whatever works best for you and your little one. I did a combination of both. Because I wasn't able to produce enough breastmilk, I supplemented with formula. With my first, I breastfed for 6months exclusively - out of my three, he has the most health issues. With my second and third, I supplemented with formula from day 1 and they're both generally healthy (my third does have a tree nut allergy, but with both my husband and me having allergies, she was bound to be allergic to *something*). My second, who got more formula than breastmilk is 100% totally healthy. So although there are pros and cons to both, there's nothing that says you can't DO both. Or pick one. Whatever YOU feel is best for YOUR particular situation IS best. Don't let anyone "guilt" you into feeling any differently.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

You should be glad if you get the choice! If you try to breast feed, you can stop at anytime, but you can't stop bottle feeding. I have done both, and frankly, my babies decided, not me. I have two children with developmental issues, and neither one of them had the motor skills to nurse, and even the rented breast pump did not solve the problem. It was defentely not me, I had one who popped out and latched on and did just fine sandwhiched inbetween the two. I will tell you this, don't feel the slightest bit of guilt about what you can and can't do for your baby. There is a whole brigade of women who will tell you everybody can, but they are forgot to ask my babies! In the long run, bottle is more expensive and breast has more benefits for your baby, but it is not the end of the world if you choose bottle. What about a combo of both? It might work well for you!

Good luck on a comforatble delivery, and a healthy baby!
M.

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R.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Neither breastfeeding nor formula is going to be without it's hassles (clearly), but I would say, if you're willing to give it a go it's definitely worth it to try breastfeeding.
I never had any problems feeding my son beyond some initial soreness (no infections, no special diet to follow, it was easy-peasy), and I nursed him through his first year. It does take some determination, but it's certainly convenient. And as far as equipment goes, three nursing bras and three nursing tanks (from Target), one tube of ointment, and a box of washable/reusable nursing pads was all I needed when I was home with him. Eventually we got an inexpensive hand pump. Compared to buying formula, it wasn't a huge investment.
Of course, I know lots of formula fed babies that are perfectly healthy, and you should never let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing NOT to breastfeed. It's your child and your situation, and you should feel free to do what works for you.
Hope this helps, and good luck in whatever you choose!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

My experience with breast feeding was awesome and I nursed my baby till he was about 2.
It is the easiest most efficient way to feed them. I hated having to wash bottles. I got pregnant with my baby when my older son was 2 mos old so I ran out of milk and had to start bottle feeding. Nursing is just so danged simple I dont know why everyone has to overthink it and judge it and create so much chaos over it! Your boobs are there to nurse your kid. If for some odd, medical reason you can't nurse~~ bottles were invented. Bottles are plan B.. breastfeeding is first and foremost in my book.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There are a lot of posts here that I agree with - try breastfeeding first. If you don't like it, you can always stop. If you start out on formula, you can't decide later to give breastfeeding a try.

And it's not all or nothing either. With my first, we did 1 bottle every night, starting right from the beginning. That way my husband got to share the joy of getting up in the middle of the night lol. Breastfeeding 99% of the time, and giving the baby a bottle every now and then (when you need a break to get a little sleep or when you are out in a place where you'd feel uncomfortable nursing) can work.

And the one thing you don't mention about breastfeed that I'd say is the biggest "plus" of all - the bonding you get when you are 'forced' to take 20 minutes every few hours to sit quietly and cuddle with your baby. Yes, formula babies get fed every few hours too, but it won't always be you - you'll be doing the dishes while your husband, mother, mother-in-law, friends, etc, do the cuddling. I find it a nice 'excuse' to get my baby back in my arms when people are visiting.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Plan for breastfeeding but be honest and kind to yourself if it doesn't work out and switch to the formula. No need to stress out about it now. You are armed with information, opinions, etc. The only thing that will help you with the final decision now will be reality.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

You can always switch to bottle later if you start out breastfeeding, but not vice versa! I wouldn't trade the bonding for the world. When in doubt, natural is always the best answer. Save the formula for later. Try breastfeeding, at least for a little while. There is no subsittute that I know of for cholostrum. Then when your milk comes in, if you don't like it, you can switch. But if you never even try, you may regret it. If your husband wants to feed baby, you can buy a used pump and sterilize it. They aren't that expensive.

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B.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi,
I have 3 children (20, 16 & 4) and with all 3 I did a combination of both with no problems. The first 6 weeks I did only breastfeeding (so they would get the antibodies from me) and then when I went back to work I did both breastfeeding and formula and had no problems with my children doing both (even though most people told me it wouldn't work and they would pick one and only do that or that my milk wouldn't have the supply if I did both, which I had plenty). It was hard being the only one to be able to feed during the first 6 weeks, but it did create a strong bond between me and them. I would recommend to prepare for both (get both supplies) and try both and see which one works out best for you or if, like in my case, a combo would work best. Good luck and I hope everything works out fine.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Handsdown breastfeed. Yes there will be a learning period for both of you but after that it is smooth sailing. All the things that you mentioned that could go wrong are rare. Some babies spit up more than others, I breasfed for a year and my kid never spit up or had more diapers than other babies. Never used an ointment ( for what anyway lol??), had 2 nursing bras, pads did not use. If you can do it, if not by all means use the bottle. Good luck !!!

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S.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would suggest try breast feeding and if you think it is not working you have other options like pumping or formula. I had a lot of troubles with breast feeding(inverted / cracked nipples / used shields etc). Nursing was a nightmare...my son would cry of hunger and I would cry from pain.It was a total disaster and came to a point where I would dread the next nursing session and could not even sleep. So after a month I started pumping and that was a huge relief-for me and everybody around me at that time.My son was breast milk fed(pumped) till 8 months after which he switched to formula since I went back to work when he was 8 months. So I would say give it a try you can always change plans if things dont seem to work.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Breast is best. It surprises me often that this is a debate at all. I know there are circumstances preventing some to breastfeed but if at all possible, try to breastfeed as long as you can. It's cheaper, safer and healthier for baby and mom. You'll build his immune system now and for the rest of his life. He's less likely to have autoimmune disorders. I think it's easier and more convenient also. The only down side that I can think of on breastfeeding is that only mom can do it... but to me that's a major PLUS! I love breastfeeding and wouldn't trade this time of my life for anything else in the world. It's only for a short time so why not go for it!! Good luck and congratulations!!

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

I will not debate this with anyone it is a very personal decision and can be a hard decision. I grew up in a family where everyone was bottle fed so for us that is the norm; however I know there are others (my best friend included) where breast-feeding is the normal. It is natural after all. I can not dispute the fact that there are health benefits in breast-feeding for both mom and baby; nor can anyone dispute the fact that my kids were very healthy formula fed babies. I wanted what was best for my kids but I also knew I was not going to be comfortable breast feeding and as I said, it was not the norm in my family.

I would not (and did not) make the decison based on finances alone. In my mind, I knew I was going to formula feed but I did truly consider breast and decided that if, and only if, my child seemed to have some other risk factors where I really needed to breastfeed then I would (I know a mom of twins who had to because they were two months premature).

If you decide on breastfeeding, tell you hubby you need his support. If you decide to bottle feed, don't let anyone make you feel quilty for this decision.

You can bond with your children even if they are formula fed. You can use the powder formula and mix when needed so you don't have to have the bottles made ahead of time or have to heat them. You can breast feed and others can still help feed the baby (you can pump).

Good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Ah yes, a debate indeed! I can't really say I "recommend" bottle feeding, but I can tell you that it is so incredibly easy, convenient, and anyone can do it...that's what made me the happiest. I tried really hard to breastfeed, and that is a whole other story, but exclusively pumped with my 1st for about 4-5 months and then scrapped it all and went to formula. It changed my life! I was so much less stressed, I felt much more freedom and it was nice my husband could actually get up in the middle of the night! (now, actually doing it, well that's also a different story! ;) There are cons of course, namely the cost, but with the technology now the nutritional content between the two is pretty much the same, although I'm sure some would disagree. You can pre make bottles before you go to bed, I did it all the time. It was great b/c it also trained my kid to drink cold milk and I didn't have to fuss with warming her stuff up, etc. She would drink it room temp or cold, didn't matter. Plus, it's so easy to carry with you, they make pre measured containers that you refill and throw in the diaper bag to make it easy! You can use water from anywhere or take some with you. Cleaning bottles does not need to be nearly as labor intensive as some people make it to be. I only have 3 bottles that I've used for 2 kids and it's all I need.

I did try breastfeeding again with my 2nd and he was easier...but there were still concerns and after only a month or two I went to formula for him too.

I am not trying to convince you to choose bottle over breast, and honestly, I may not be a good barometer since I wasn't successful at the breast, but I can tell you that bottle feeding is easy, convenient and made me a happier mommy. Do what you want and don't feel badly about the decision you make if you choose bottle. You can always try the breast and see how it goes and change your mind if you'd like. I do suggest talking to a lactation consultant at the hospital though. Ask for one immediately upon arriving b/c they are super busy and then maybe you'll get to see one before you leave! ;)

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S.X.

answers from Chicago on

your mom, like mom my mom;... it was the in thing to use the bottle. The breast is the best for the child; don't worry about diapers they are less stinky. if you have problems then stop. If you are struggling w/decision, if you start w/the bottle i think you will question your decision and wish you would of tried. so avoid the internal drama and just try ; P

no bottles, its always w/you, you can't forget it blah blah blah

if you try and it works great
if you try and it doesn't stop
if you don't try you will always wish you did.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

The benefits of breastfeeding your baby will far outweigh the negatives, not just immediately but for the future as well. Even if you just do it for a few weeks.

I'll tell you this, I'm breastfeeding my son, he is 10 months now. I love it for all the reasons you pointed out, it's easy, it's cheap, it's convenient, it's great bonding with baby.

I did not have issues with poor latch or cracked nipples, I've only had one clogged duct and it hurt but it wasn't that bad.

The nursing bras are convenient, but you can do it without, just need to unhook your whole bra instead. I used way more nursing pads in the beginning than now, because my body had to adjust to making the right amount of milk, I recommend Lanisoh or Nuk brand.

Check with the hospital to see if they offer free samples of the ointments, and they might give you a free hand pump kit (my hospital did). That way you can wait until you know if you'll need these things to spend the money.

I don't think that you will necessarily have more diapers to change if you breastfeed, but keep in mind that the breastfed poops are not nearly as stinky (they do smell, just not bad).

Babies spit up, breastfed or bottlefed, doesn't matter. Their stomachs are tiny and their muscles are not developed enough to hold everything down. For that matter, it's really easy to overfeed a formula-fed infant, and that will result in extra spit up too.

One thing that I did not anticipate was how much it would positively affect my son's health. He has NEVER been sick, aside from his jaundice in the hospital after birth.

I've never had an issue with people being rude or getting stared at, but I choose to nurse privately. If I need to nurse in public, I try to find a place that is out of the way, and I'll turn the chair around so I'm not facing every nosy passer-by.

Try it out, you may find it easy and love it, or you may not. And that's okay, but at least give it a try for a few weeks. Don't be afraid to ask for help, lactation consultants are a great resource. And there's no reason why you can't supplement with formula when you want to get away, or if you are out and about.

Congratulations on the new baby, by the way! Good Luck!!!

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

This is such a personal choice. I knew I should not have read all of the responses as I knew it would upset me. I love the people that just shove breastfeeding down your throat and tell you it is the only way to go. If there was anything wrong with formula it would not be an option and half the mothers out there would not do it. Please do whatever is most comfortable for you. Do not let anyone make you feel bad if you do not breastfeed. This is your baby and your decision. Any one you make will be the right one.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have the final answer to this debate: Do what YOU want to do. Not because of what anyone else thinks or tells you. Only you know what the right option is for you and your baby.
It can be costly either way. The baby will be fine either way. It can be great either way or a nightmare either way.
Personal choice.
Do not allow guilt to influence you O. way or another.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Try breastfeeding. You can always switch to formula if it isn't for you. When I say try it though, I mean you have to commit to it for at least 6 weeks, otherwise it won't work.
I breastfed my son for 6 months. I did supplement with formula so that I could have a break when I needed one, but I'm so glad I breastfed, and will do so again with baby #2 due in March. It's not always easy, but it is so worth it. Also I have to say that I read your list of cons for breastfeeding and I disagree with most of them. I don't know any breastfed babies who spit up more, if there is an increase in diaper changes, it is very minimal, and I ate anything I wanted while breastfeeding without a problem for my son. There is actually some evidence that exposure to all the different flavors babies get in breastmilk can help them turn into less picky eaters when they are older.
You could get an infection or clogged duct, but there is certainly no guarantee of either. I had a clogged duct once, it hurt, but was not the end of the world by any stretch.
Financially, I promise you that even with the purchase of several good nursing bras, pads, ointments etc, you will still come out way ahead with breastfeeding. Seriously, formula is crazy expensive and you go through it like you wouldn't believe. You can probably rent a good pump from your hospital, most do offer them.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

V., sounds like you've done your research but you're really worrying about things that may not even happen (clogged ducts, infections, bleeding, special diet, blah blah blah) I nursed our daughter for 21 months and none of those things happened to me personally. I did my research, too, and was absolutely determined to breastfeed, and I did. I read that it could be difficult at times, and I daresay that made me even more determined. I'm not trying to guilt anyone over using formula, but hey, it will never be able to compete w/ human breastmilk insofar as nutrition and antibodies are concerned. For me, there were no negatives. The positives? My daughter is 5 years old and has never taken one antibiotic. The bonding between mother and baby is awesome!! I lost the 40 lbs. that I gained during pregnancy in 6 months, plus 5 lbs. more. I could go on and on, but I'll step off my soapbox :) Good luck w/ whatever choice you make and congratulations!!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I breastfed my 3 babies. I think it was ideal... for me, in my situation. I stayed home, so I never had to worry about going back to work... I did have mastitis once with my second son... but never had bleeding or pain otherwise. My first son never spit up, second son and my third (daughter) did as well. I never needed the ointments, since I never had pain. I never had a "special diet" because I was nursing. I limited cofffee/soda and of course alcohol (one drink or two at most) but for me that wasn't much of a lifestyle change.

For me - breast was best... it's free, always available, and healthy for everyone (me included - I have lots of breast cancer in my family and nursing can reduce my changes of getting it).

Good luck with your decision.

Jessica

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

I tried to breast feed my oldest daughter because everyone was telling me that it was the best for my baby. However, less than a week after my daughter was born, I couldn't do it anymore. My breasts were painful to the touch. Every time I would try to breast feed my daughter, I would be wincing in pain. After going to the doctor, I found that I had an infection in both breasts. I switched to formula and have never regretted it. When I was pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd child, I didn't even consider breast feeding. The memory of the pain I went through during that first week was all I needed to decide not to try breast feeding again.

There is no way for you to know what is going to happen if you decide to breast feed. Just know this....whether or not to breast feed is a personal choice. It is a choice that I tried and couldn't continue. But, despite that fact that I formula fed all three of my children, all three of them are healthy and not lacking in any way because of it.

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

This debate has been on here time and time again. You've done your research well, you seem to know the pros and cons of both. Go with your gut.

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It doesn't have to be either/or. You can do both. You've done a great job thinking about the pros/cons of both. If I were you, start out breastfeeding, but if you aren't loving it after the first couple of weeks (and it WILL take at least that long, and they are LONG weeks), then consider adding in some formula to give yourself a break. I breastfed AND formula fed until my son was a year old. It can look like anything you want it to.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

really? is there a debate?

its not OBVIOUSLY preferable to breastfeed? for all reasons whatsoever?

I have always considered bottle feeding a "what if" that is things go wrong the bottle can be there, but the breast is always the number one choice.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I personally believe in breastfeeding. I would give it a go for 6 months. At the very least, 3 months. That would give you the chance to get over the learning curve and get comfortable with it. If you want to PM me, I can tell you all about support for BFing, great bras and clothes so that you are comfortable while breastfeeding in public. I think you would regret not breastfeeding if you don't give it a try, it really is a great thing. You can always go from bf to formula, but you can't always go the other direction.

Oh, and you may want to ask the hospital about the pumping situation. Mine wouldn't open the pump up for me. When I got engorged, I went and got a $35 Medela hand pump that was worth EVERY cent.

The clogged ducts, infections, etc. don't have to happen, and I don't think that diaper changes are any more frequent. I also don't believe that it causes dependency. As far as expenses, you need bras anyway because you will be a different size. You can buy washable breast pads, and ointments aren't too expensive and go a long way. You don't need to know how much he is getting, and you don't have to be on a special diet. There are a few upfront costs, but the cost of formula really adds up.

Whatever you decide to do, you have to make sure that you have the support of your family. They don't have to agree with your decision, but they do have to support you. In other words, if you decide to go with breastfeeding, put all the formula away, no one should offer to "make" a bottle for you, and they should do everything they can to help you out. I knew that there was no alternative for me to breastfeeding, and it has made all the difference. Good luck.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Breastfeeding. I breastfed my daughter for 13 months, it worked out very well for us. I am going to be doing it again here in a month or so when number 2 arrives :-). Let me straighten out some of the things that you are thinking are potential drawbacks about it. You do not need to purchase a special (and expensive) nursing bra unless you REALLY want one, any bra with a front closure is just fine! Ointment is honestly only needed in the beginning stage of nursing while your nipples get used to the whole thing (for the first month TOPS)
As for the added expense of nursing pads, I loved disposable ones, until I found something called lilypadz, I saved a ton of money once I found out about these!
http://www.amazon.com/Lily-Padz-Reuseable-Nursing-Pads/dp...
I have never heard that breastfed babies spit up more, I don't think thats true at all. Mine didn't.

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

I breastfed my kids (never pumped). With my first child I went to a breastfeeding class to learn how to do it the proper way. If the baby doesn't latch on correctly, it will be painful. Also, there is a closeness with the baby you get when you nurse him or her that you don't get when you give them the bottle. If breastfeeding doesn't work out for you, you can always switch to bottle. You won't be able to later decide to breastfeed so I would suggest giving it a try if you are torn. Don't let anyone make you feel bad either way.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I say give breastfeeding a try. You can always rent a pump for a month before buying one in case it doesn't work out. If you pump, your husband can still feed the baby. Even if you only breastfeed for a month, the benefit to your baby and you is there.

Breastfeeding was perfect for us, but it wasn't always easy at first with my oldest. It took a good couple of weeks for both of us to get used to it. ;) That said, my oldest nursed for 21 months, and I am currently on the 10th month with my youngest.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Breastfeeding... is cheaper, I NEVER got all those problems with breastfeeding as you mentioned. That is not the norm. So keep that in mind... that is only the 'negative' things you are listing about, breastfeeding... NOT that it 'will' happen.

You can also bottle feed, with pumped breastmilk....
BUT, some babies, will NOT take a bottle. At all. You cannot predict that.

I breastfed both my kids.

The Avent "Isis" Hand Pump... is NOT 'expensive' and works well. That is what I used. My daughter would NOT NOT NOT take a bottle no matter what and no matter what age. My son on the other hand, would take a bottle. I would NOT have been able to 'predict' that.

Formula is expensive.

Regardless of what you do.... having a baby entails expenses and inconvenience and MANY diaper changes... regardless if they are breastfed or Formula fed.

all the best,
Susan

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

You should give it a try. It is really hard in the beginning and it definitely isn't for everyone (wasn't for me) but if you end up realizing it's not for you, then at least you will know you tried. For me, it was one thing after another. My son had a hard time latching at first, then he finally got the hang of it but would fall asleep every time I would start to breast feed him and he was only 6 pounds at birth and I was worried he wasn't getting enough to eat. Then there was the bleeding nipples and excruciating pain I experienced, so I started pumping because that wasn't as bad. I didn't know that you have to pump as often as you would breastfeed in order to keep up your milk supply at the time, so I basically dried up when my son was about 5 weeks old.

I have done more research on breastfeeding recently because I am having another baby in the next few weeks, I honestly don't know for sure what I'm going to do yet. I think that maybe if I would have seeked some help with my son that it would have been successful, I also think I just expected it would all come naturally and I thought everyone could just do it, never realized that most people, even those that end up being successful with it, have a hard time in the beginning. I will say, besides formula being expensive ( I used generic formula so it wasn't that bad, about $12 a week) My son is 2 and has had no more than a cold, if it was even that, may have been teething. Another good thing about switching to formula for me was I could put my son on an eating schedule and had him sleeping through the night almost immediately once he was exclusively bottle fed. That is one of my reasons for wanting to bottle feed this time, with having a 2 year old also I just would like to get her on a schedule as soon as possible. Like I said, I think you should just try it and see how it goes for you. Good luck with everything!!

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D.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

There are benefits to both! I would say to go ahead and give it a try... you have nothing to lose. If it works out then great, and if not you will not be heart broken. Then there is always the best of both worlds by doing a combination of the two! My oldest switched effortlessly between bottle with formula and breast when I returned to work. Good luck and enjoy your new little one!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

i adopted and never got to experience breast feeding.. i would have done both bottle and breast.. a lot of people would say you can't do both.. but i would have if i was given the opportunity... i would do breast sometimes during the day and do a bottle too... I think getting them used to both is a good thing.. i see so many posts from people who can't get the baby to take anything else but breast milk.. i think if you did formula and breast.. the baby would get used to both .. and then if you don't lke to breast feed you can go right to the bottle.. or if you love breast feeding.. you can stay with it.. good luck

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

Breastfeeding is soo much better for you and the baby.

My suggestion is to see if your hospital or dr or someone in your area can hook you up with a Lactation consultant. In my town they had monthly support groups you could go to -to meet other moms to get information about bf before you even delivered, to ask questions as you were bfing, it was great, bring your baby and hang out for an hour. I am super shy and never talked hardly at these meetings but i loved going, and it was so worth it to feel like i had tons of ladies ready to help me if i needed it.

If that sort of thing isn't for you, the lactation consultant also had daily hours at the hospital that you could just pop in and have the baby weighed so you would know they were getting enough and growing, and you could ask personal questions and even have her help you with getting the baby to latch on correctly.TO avoid any pain.

Breastfeeding is so worth it. I Truely feel that it was THe number one best thing that i have ever done for my babies.

If you try and have trouble, the lactation consultant can help you find a way to nurse half the time and do bottles the other half. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

In response to part of your comment... "Breasting however can cause clogged ducts, infections, bleeding, initial pain... not to mention more diaper changes, more spit up (because it's thinner than formula), and dependence."
Your milk will come in and if you choose not to breast feed you will become engorged, have clogged ducts and could end up with mastitis. Just sayin'.
Also formula fed babies have GROSS poop. So not really a good reason. And they spit up all the time. And there is always the possibility of having allergies which means you have to get the really expensive formula. I guess what I am trying to say is there are reasons for both decisions.
Breast feeding is the most rewarding thing I have ever done! Ever! But you need to want to do it. And you need the support of your family. I am not sure why your mother and husband say formula but it isn't really up to them. I am currently EBF with my 4 mont son and have had no problems at all. But with my DD it was awful. Bleeding nipples, clogged ducts, low supply, mastitis... I kept going for 5 months with her but had to stop for cancer treatment otherwise I would have kept going. Even with all the problems it was still worth it. I did supplement with formula so my husband could feed her and it was fine.
You do not have to be on a special diet?! Sometimes some babies are sensitive to what you eat but not all babies.
The most important thing in the milk is the antibodies your baby will get from it. No formula will ever give them that. So even if you just do it for a month it is better than not at all. Consider the fact that you can not go from formula to breast but you can go the other way.
If you do decide to BF please get a lactation consultation in the hospital! And find out where your local La Leche League meets in case you have an issue. And be sure your pediatrician is supportive of breast feeding. And you will need your husbands support.

Good luck!!! Don't let anyone else tell you what to choose.

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K.B.

answers from Columbus on

Why not start with the breast in the hospital and see how it goes? You'll have all the support you need with the nurses and lactation consultants, etc., and if you like it send hubs out for a nursing bra and a box of pads and you're good to go. If you hate it, then at least you know you tried!

I breastfed both of my girls at the beginning and it just wasn't for me. I did it for four months with my first and for only 9 days with the second... long story. But, every woman is different and every baby is different. You may find that your baby latches on the first time and it's wonderful, but if you immediately start with the bottle, you never know how it would have turned out. Best of luck!

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

In your considerations, you might take into account whether you have "sensitive" breasts. I do, and well after I started breastfeeding (which did cause me a lot of pain---and yes, the baby was latched on etc. correctly), my DH said he didn't want to bring it up (to deter me from doing it), but he wondered beforehand if it was going to be painful for me because I'm very sensitive in that area. The problems were also coupled with the fact that he wanted to bite inside of suckle (common in babies born w/ the cord around their neck, as he was, according to the lactation consultant), he has a high palate, and was slightly tongue tied.

Also, if you do decide to go the route of BFing, even for a little while & your DH is not supportive, just remind him that it spares him from feedings. And, if he's worried about missing that as a means of bonding, definitely offer to pump & let him bottle feed the milk so you can go out with friends. :)

I'm biased--I think that while formula is a good thing, nature/G-d designed breastmilk and it's delivery system (including the hormones that are generated that are proven to help w/ bonding) to be the best option. I also believe that any amount of BFing, even if it's just for the first 2 weeks, is a good thing, because of the immunities your baby gets.

As far spit-up, I actually think that formula-fed babies spit up more because more of the formula is undigestable for the infant.

Now, on the other side, the poops are more solid for formula fed babies (and thus possibly less "gross") then the breastfed poop, which is pretty much liquid (and you'll probably have at least one diaper "blow out".... and it ain't pretty with the BF poop.... I have one very distinct memory of me sitting on the couch, the boppy, me, and the baby all covered w/ breastfed poop; fortunately, DH came running to take the baby while I laughed myself sillly & then cleaned up myself, the couch & the boppy [yes, you can machine wash a boppy! LOL!]).

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it's up to you. My suggestion is simple...try both and see which one you like better.
Here are a few suggestions:
*If you formula feed keep a pitcher of filtered water next to their crib with the formula, and a night light..so you don't have to clunk around in teh middle of the night.
*If you breast feed, or try to, get a cheaper manual pump first, and look into renting an electric one to see which one works better for your body (I bought the top of the line medela one, and a lot of other moms have told me they liked the manual ones better).
*For on the go formula feeding, prefill your baby bottles with filtered water and then buy the formula "singles." Pour it in, shake and feed.
I also wanted to say that (when I did try) I never had any of the problems (pain, clogged ducts, etc) with breast feeding. I also wanted to say my mostly formula fed baby has never had a fever, cold, or flu and is very healthy. So I think its ultimately up to you, what you feel comfortable with, and what you like! Good Luck! And I hope you have a happy and safe delivery! =)

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I can tell you that BF is different for every person. I know so many people who had success BFing.

My advice to you - try it. If it isn't working, get some help from a lactation consultant. If it still isn't working, or if for what ever reason you need to stop...it is OK. Your child will be healthy, happy, and smart on formula too!

I think you need to go into it hoping and wanting it to work, but if it doesn't you have to tell yourself it is OK. I went into a huge depression after failing with our first son, and was really upset after failing with our second son. I am pregnant now and I know I am going to do formula from the beginning. Is it ideal? No, but I cannot put myself through the physical and mental anguish again!

Good luck to you mama. Make sure you have plenty of contacts handy in case you need them.

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

i would say at least try breastfeeding. that way you know what works for and what doesn't. i have done both( i dried up at 6 months and had to put my son on formula). but someone asked earlier what is a good way to lose weight after having a baby? and alot of people don't know that breast feeding burns over 600 calories PER FEEDING! i lost all my pregnancy weight and it helped my uterus go down 80% faster. i do try to encourage my friends to breastfeed but if they don't, i don't judge or main them because they won't try it! so don't let anyone try and make you ffel bad if you choose not to breastfeed( like some of the die hards on here). of course you know it;s healthier for the baby. so i think you have to really make that decision but i would recommend at least try the breast feeding first. GOOD LUCK

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Sixteen years ago, I breastfed my daughter for 1 month then switched to formula. Honestly, it was SO much work with formula and so expensive even using the powder. Boil the water, mix the formula, wash/dry all the bottles, make up the bottles, repeat, not to mention attempting to heat a cold bottle and wait for it with a screaming baby, or worse, when out and about and never getting it past slightly less chilly. I then nursed my son for 16 months until he quit (always ready, always perfect temp), and now with my newborn, have been nursing these past 10 weeks. We are currently using formula in a bottle when I haven't pumped, though I am building my stash for when I return to work. Just wanted to give you some things to consider. If you opt to breastfeed then formula feed, you may want to mix a little before going cold turkey, since once you stop nursing, your supply shuts down. Good luck with whatever you choose :)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I used both. With the formula I could use it when I was out in public, and it gave my husband the chance to help me and to have his own bonding time with our sons, and with the breast I could feed anytime, and it was easier to use at night for that first month when they needed to night feed. My sons switched back and forth with no problem, but did ween off the breast early (around 3 months) since the bottle was easier for them to feed from and they felt more satisfied for longer with the formula. Neither is best or better, it is all about whatever you need to do to make sure your child is cared for the best way you can. Do not let others tell you it has to be one way or the other, or judge you for whatever choice you make. Formulas have come a long way, and are as healthy these days as breast milk. They do not cause ear infection or result in sickly babies as some would claim, and a bottle fed baby is just as bonded to it's parents as a breast fed one, maybe more so to dad since he can feed as well. I loved the freedom that using both allowed me, and the closeness that breast feeding allowed. That is my story, you have to write your own, and congratulations on your new joy.

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A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Breast feeding is the best for you are your baby hands down. And really some of the things you are worried about really aren't that big of a deal. First most breast fed babies don't spit up as much cause breast milk is easier on their tummies also there is less chance of constipation when there are nursing. Also you only have some pain at first and you only have to use the ointment for the first month or so and pads.....I usually am done with those after the first couple months. I nursed both my babies and loved it. There are lots of good things about it. I also liked that when they woke up at night I could bring them to bed with me and fall back asleep while they were eating. I got more sleep that way and talk about a great way to shed all those pregnancy lbs. So If i were you I would give it a try.

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B.D.

answers from Lancaster on

why don't you do both? Start out breastfeeding - but if you go out, go to work, or baby is with hubby have a bottle ready as well. See what happens....my first daughter switched to bottle after about six months, my second couldn't nurse and was strictly bottle fed, and my third hated the bottle - never had one, was only breastfed. Every child is different.
P.S. I didn't use nursing bra or nursing pads - but light wieght sports bras were great.
Good Luck!

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think this is a very personal decision and no one can tell you what to do. I breastfed for as long as I could but once I went back to work I started supplementing and weened my little guy by six months. I found pumping to be extremely frustrating and stressful and that wasn't good for me or my son. If I were to have another child I would probably breastfeed until returning to work and then switch to formula.

You can always breastfeed and then use formula when your husband wants to feed the baby or try pumping and see if it's for you. I could never pump enough to avoid supplementing with formula but other people find it easy.

In the end do what you are most comfortable with and is least stressful and don't let anyone get to you who criticizes your choice. Your the mom and you know what is best for YOU and your child.

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D.S.

answers from State College on

I didnt nurse either of my boys (because that was my preference, for all of the reasons you listed and more), but here's the advice I give to all of my friends: If you arent sure what you want to do, give nursing a shot. If you dont like it, you can always stop, but you cant start bottle feeding and then later decide you want to try breastfeeding :) Some people love nursing and some dont, but if you dont know up front which camp youre in, the only way to find out is to try. Also, dont make your decision based on guilt - I think we can all agree that breastmilk is best, but formula is a perfectly fine choice too. Both of my boys are growing fine, healthy weight, rarely sick, and we have bonded perfectly. Your baby will be healthy and loved no matter which option you choose, so you should do what you feel is right for you and your family. Good luck!

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

The only RIGHT answer to that is the one that feels RIGHT to you. YOU'RE the Mamma. Of course it is a HUGE deterent if you do not have the support of your OWN husband AND mother, sigh, sorry, that sucks. It's hard for me to not say rude things about them (tehehe). Why do they think you HAVE breasts? Anyway, I won't rant. Whatever you choose, be comfortable with your OWN decision. Go with your gut, for that first momming decision and every one afterward. Good Luck, and Congratulations!! I LOOOOOOVE babies!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I breast fed for 5 months. I would have liked to go longer, but pumping when I went back to work was just not keeping my milk production up. My son did fine on formula for the rest of the time.
My sister did formula all the way. She and my mother both thought breast feeding was barbaric and gross. When I told my Mom I was breast feeding, she looked at me like I was out of my mind. I said "Mom. We're mammals. Feeding milk to our young is what we do. Deal with it.". She got over it.

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D.I.

answers from Philadelphia on

PLEASE give breastfeeding your child serious consideration! Yes, it might be difficult at first, but then again, you will not necessarily have any of the problems that you are worried about. Your baby deserves to be breastfed. I can recommend a great breast pump for about $150 if you are interested. Mine lasted through three children. You will need at least two nursing bras and a few boxes of nursing pads, but the cost of these items (including the pump) pales in comparison to what you will spend on formula in one year. The more frequent diaper changes only last for a few weeks. After that you will change your breastfed baby less than a formula fed baby. If you decide to breastfeed try to find the support of another mom who has done it recently. Also, the nurses at the hospital where you deliver can put you in touch with a lactation consultant. You can always switch to formula, but you cannot switch back to breastfeeding.

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C.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I will tell you what worked for me, but first with the caveat that this should not be construed as you're a bad mom if that ultimately doesn't work for you. Too much judgement around this question.

I breast fed. My plan was to breast feed for a year, I ended up for 2 years. As if I needed another lesson in the fact that my plans don't count. :) It's important to know that while people DO have problems with breast feeding, not EVERYONE has problems. It scared me as a new mom because I heard the horror stories, but I didn't have any problems with mastitis, thrush etc in that time. I liked it (obviously), it was convenient (although I note here that I had a place to pump at work, not everyone is so lucky), it's cheap (even buying a $200 pump and bottles pays you back quickly compared to the cost of formula), and it's not as inconvenient as you think. Also, our ped recommended pumping and bottle feeding starting at 2-3 weeks (if you aren't having problems), so that the baby would get used to the bottle early. So pretty quickly your husband can help with the feeding. Finally, it's SOOTHING to the baby. My hubby and I joke that we miss 'the boob' when our 3 year old has a bad day, but he's happy, health, and very independent these days. (Oh and the baby never did spit up on us)

The point of which is not to say that it's a walk in the park always, but that the things that are listed as the worst case scenarios for either decision, aren't necessarily the ONLY scenarios.

My recommendation would be to try to breast feed exclusively for a couple weeks (note they will be painful at first...lanolin!!), and just take it from there depending on how things are going. If you breast feed for a few weeks, and it went well but you're over it (or it's not going well), you can switch to formula. If you formula feed, it's really hard to go backwards.

Whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. No matter what you decide, someone will tell you that you're insane. Welcome to the sisterhood of moms! :)

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B.M.

answers from Houston on

I'm not real sure about all your negative for BFing. I BF 3 kids for about a year each and never had a clogged duct, infection, or bleeding so you won't necessarily have to deal with that. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt at first but that went away after a couple of weeks. Also, I disagree that BF babies split up more. My experience is the complete opposite, my kids only split up when they had formula. Also, not everyone loses weight while nursing, most do, but I never did. Either way, it comes down to what you're comfortable with. Why not try it and see what you think. I also would recommend letting your baby have at least a bottle a day (breast milk or formula) so they know how to do it and you can have a break if you need. Good luck with you little one.

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J.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was very lucky ... breastfed about 60% of the time, and she took bottles (usually of breastmilk, but sometimes formula) the rest. She did not get one ear infection, and did not throw up one time in the whole first year. If you get past the first six weeks of breastfeeding, which does require some commitment, you will love love love it. I just felt that it was healthier for my daughter, and a heck of a lot easier for me. And not to be superficial, but it DOES cause the weight to fall right off of you! >smile<

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

i breastfed all three of my children, for dif lengths of time and in different ways. there's nothing to be lost by trying it... there are SO many benefits to breastfeeding. oh, and if you're concerned about clogged ducts and pain, you will get PLENTY of that in the days after birth even if you don't nurse the baby! breastfeeding has many good aspects for YOU - it releases a hormone that can reduce the effects of the baby blues or PPD, it decreases your chances for breast cancer(and ovarian too if i'm not mistaken), and it burns calories. i pumped and bottle fed my oldest for 5 months(he was tongue tied and never could latch on), then switched to formula. i exclusively nursed my middle child for 9 months and loved every minute of it, never fed him a bottle until the day i was told i had a breast tumor and had to stop nursing in order to have surgery(it turned out to be benign thankfully). i nursed my youngest for about 8 months, then switched to formula - she was a very fidgety baby, and nursing was becoming more of a frustration for both of us, so at that point, it was no longer worth it to me - most nursing sessions were ending up with both of us in tears, so we stopped. i can say, formula and bottles are WAY more of a pain in the rear than nursing. my advice is to give it a try - it can't harm anything to try. it is gonna hurt the first few days, but then it's fine. good luck, and do what YOU want to do - don't let anyone push you into anything.

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

It's a decision you make and stick to if you think it's best for the baby, and dont' worry about what would be most convenient for yourself, though in many ways I found it more convenient than formula. There are health benefits to you as you said-weight loss, and less risk of future breast cancer. It's a natural vaccine for baby, etc. Is is better for baby, there is no debate on that. Though as we all know, formula fed babies thrive too. With my three, within the first year,I did both and nursed for different amounts of time, so some had formula longer. I will say the spit up and poop from formula is MUCH yuckier than from nursing. You should try to nurse the first few weeks or months if you can. If it's impossible, don't sweat it. My boy ate so much, I had to add formula after each nursing from birth, so of course he weaned the fastest at 3 months, because I couldn't keep up. Too hard alone home with a two year old at the time. My first got almost a year of nursing. Try nursing, either way, you'll be fine. It's easy to over think it before it happens, but people have been nursing since the beginning of time-it's not that hard.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

As most have already said...it is a personal choice BUT if you have any desire to go for breast feeding I say, PLEASE DO IT!!! It really is the healthiest choice for both you and your baby.

Is it easy - no! Is it worth it - yes! Your concerns are valid but each only happen to a relatively small percentage of moms and it is extremely rare that all would happen to you. There are MANY support systems now-a-days to help you get it right if you are having trouble in teh beginning. The special diet would only be necessary if your baby had particular sensitivities, if that is the case it may be easier to adjust your diet than go through however many formulas to find one that works.

If you are able (& I fully acknowledge that some are not) than I strongly support at least trying the breast feeding route. The main challenges are getting the latch right, growth spurts (my boys had them at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and it seems 7 months with my little guy) and deciding when/how to wean. The costs are one-time as opposed to for at least the year with formula. I think I saw someone mention the Avent Isis manual pump - I will say it is AWESOME!!! I used a Medella Dual Electric pump with my first child but was thrilled when I discovered how much easier/better the manual was not to mention the environmental plus of not using electricity. :)

Hope my tidbits help! Good luck with your precious baby and all the best to your family as you make the transition to parenthood!!!
- J. :)

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I have 3 children. My 1st i formula fed and regretted not trying to breastfeed. With my 2nd I tried breastfeeding which worked for a few weeks and i pumped for a month. My hormones were all crazy then and I just felt overwhelmed when my baby had troubles latching. Now with my 3rd that is almost 6 weeks old has been exclusively breastfeeding. We had a few days in the hospital with latching problems but the nurses and lactation consultant were very helpful and got us through it. I have had sore nipples on occasion from improper latching but within a couple of days of using some cream everything was fine. Yes formula can be expensive and does not always digest well in babies but you should do what you are most comfortable with. Breastfeeding is only expensive if you make it to be. You don't have to have a pump and if for some reason you do they are ones to rent. All you need are a couple nursing bras which can be purchased at walmart for $10, nipple cream under $7, washable nursing pads for a few bucks too. Not everyone gets the clogged ducts or infections. I still haven't, only sore nipples. My baby has only spit up twice and just a little. With my 1st baby that was on formula would spit up constantly and totally soak a burp cloth. Another thing you don't have to be on some special diet to breastfeed. I'm not and don't plan on it. I just try to avoid junk food that's not good to begin with.
I recommend doing what you are comfortable with.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I am in total support of doing what works best for you. Breastfeeding worked best for me and my twins. They were breastfed until they were 15 months old, and I completely see the benefits. They will be two years old in a couple of weeks, and this week is the first time either of them got an ear infection! They are such healthy, strong babies. Not to mention all of the money we saved!! There are up front expenses, like a pump, bras, and pads. But, that expense pays for itself within the first month. As for the side effects, I NEVER got mastitis, clogged ducts, yeast infection, or any other complication from breastfeeding.

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B.R.

answers from York on

Since it seems like you're really torn between both, I'd say start by breastfeeding. You can switch to formula at anytime, but if you want to breastfeed, you have to start right away. It might be really tough. (It was for me. My son would become very hyper trying to latch, I was exhausted and in lots of pain from labor, had clogs frequently.) Or it might be really easy. (My sister-in-law's baby latches easily, she's gaining weight quickly, and she lets my brother feed her a night bottle of pumped milk at three weeks old!) I honestly think so much depends on how easy-going the baby is. I stuck it out for the whole first year, and I'm glad I did. The biggest benefits for me were the money savings and the weight loss (while eating 5 meals a day at times- you get really hungry!). I sure wish things worked the other way around though! If I could have formula fed for a few weeks while my body healed, and then switched to breastfeeding, it would have been ideal!

About the whole pump thing: You don't have to buy a pump right away. Wait till you know you're going to stick with it. I used a Medela Pump in Style that my sister-in-law loaned me. (There are lots of practically unused pumps on Craigslist from people who bought them pre-baby, gave up breastfeeding and just want them gone!) The machine part is what's so expensive, and the milk never touches it. Separate from the machine, you can buy new hoses and hookups that the milk touches for pretty cheap at Babies R Us, etc... I actually got my hookups at the hospital. I asked for a "breastfeeding pump kit" and my health insurance paid for it, just like the nurse at my breastfeeding class said they would! If you get a used pump, they are only good for about two and a half kids before they being losing suction, so be sure to ask.

Good luck! You're obviously a thoughtful mom who has done her research and will have a baby who benefits from that knowledge either way!

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

I see that you already have tons of answers, which I admit that I didn't read. However, I felt the need to put in my two cents (really two points that I'd like to make to you)...
1. Our twin boys were born early and spent eight weeks in the NICU. I can't tell you how much they pushed moms to nurse (I hate the term breast-feed) to help these little ones to get strong and healthy. Yes, they used supplements to increase weight quieckly, but nothing compares to mom's milk for vigor.
2. After reading your post twice, I notice that all the pros to nursing are about the baby, while all the cons to nursing are about you (comfort, convenience, cost). This is the dilemna that you will face over and over as a parent, so it may help you to start thinking now about how you weigh your best interests with your child's best interests. There is no right or wrong answer (although it looks like 60+ of us think we have one), just you making a choice and feeling comfortable with it... good luck :)

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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

Breastfeeding is at time difficult but also very rewarding. My suggestion is not to supplement at ALL! Most drs don't have a clue when it comes to supplementing. This can cause more harm in the long run and is more apt to ruin all of your hard work by causing nipple confusion, poor milk supply, and other issues. If you really want to nurse which it sounds like you do. Set a goal for yourself. It doesn't have to be a super long goal. You know what is best for you. Take 3mos for example. Say to yourself that I want to plan on breastfeeding for the first 3 mos no questions asked.
Also look up some of the important things about breastfeeding schedules. Like when does a baby have growth spurts. What does that mean for you as the mom. How long do they typically last and what do I have to be prepared for. Many times women hit the growth spurt then freak out because suddenly their nice little baby turns into this massive eating machine and they are suddenly feeling like they aren't making enough and are worn out. Typically what happens is the baby will want to eat almost non stop for around 24 hrs perhaps a couple of days. But if you understand that they are trying to increase your milk supply by eating more than you understand that is why they are eating so much. Make sure you drink LOTS of water. I also recommend getting a few boxes of mothers milk tea.
Contact your local La Leche League for support. Start going to meetings now. Don't wait until you are having problems.
As far as the diaper changes go, BFing doesn't smell anywhere near as bad as formula. So that is also another plus.
Also keep in mind that while you may have to buy a few things if you are nursing, you have to buy a lot more equipment if you are bottle feeding. Like bottles, nipples, bottle brushes, or some thing for the dishwasher or microwave for cleaning, not to mention all the formula. And if they are allergic then the cost goes up from there.
If there is something bothering them in your milk like dairy all you have to do is stop eating it temporarily.
hth

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I believe it's a personal choice - as you have pointed out both have pros and cons. I've done both. I breastfed my daughter and after 8 weeks had to bottle feed my son for medical reasons... I LOVED the closeness, and yes dependency that my daughter and I shared. She is 4 and I miss those moments - even at 2am, and 3am etc.... Having said that, she latched easily, ate well, I never had an infection - she was the poster child for breastfeeding. And it is TOTALLY convenient!!! HOWEVER, if you have a hard time with latching or feeding or sorness, infection etc. you will be frustrated, exhausted and it will be a pain (literally). I guess I'd suggest you try it. See how it goes. If you like it keep going. You can always pump a few bottles after a few weeks so your husband can share in the feedings. There is no wrong reason. Whatever makes you a more patient, happy Mom is what is best for both of you. .... and you may not know this until you try. Also, until you know for sure, don't buy a pump. You can rent GREAT ones from the hospital for a fraction of the cost. Good luck and congrats. Take it one step at a time and ENJOY!!!!

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Do both! There is NOTHING like the convenience of breast feeding! As for the bras, when I outgrew my normal ones during my pregnancy, the ones I bought were ones I could breastfeed in. Unless you are someone whe fastidiously counts calories normally, I don't think you have to worry about making sure you eat enough to produce milk (or to function), you'll eat what you need. Most of us eat far too much anyway, so pregnancy and breast feeding are like being on a diet.

All that being said, to have any glimpse of life of your own, it's very nice to be able to have someone else feed your baby. You can either pump or supplement with formula, or with "superformula" - those that are supposed to be more like breast milk.

As for pumps, I bought one "lightly used" and boiled all the tubing and bottles, etc. I then sold it to a friend when I had finished with it.

If you decide to do both, you may find the baby rejects the bottle at some point, leave the house and have someone else feed him, he will eat. If you supplement too much without pumping, you may decrease your supply enough that he rejects the breast, this can also happen if you get dehydrated, so try to stay healthy and hydrated.

I really believed that breast feeding boosted MY immunity. Despite sick people all around me the first winter after my daughter was born, I sailed through without one cold. Maybe it was the vitamins, maybe feeding the baby was stress relief, maybe I was more vigilant about washing my hands after contact with people because of my daughter, I don't know. All I know is in my mind I attributed it to breast feeding.

Good luck in your decision. And I mean YOUR decision, while there are staunch advocates on both sides of the issue, THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY.

Best wishes,
A.

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P.D.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Well I have done both. I breastfed exclusively for about 4 weeks. I did pump and let my husband give her that in a bottle. And on those moments I just needed a break, I would give her a bottle of formula from the hospital (the ready to eat). Once you really read the benefits of breastfeeding, you will figure out that its really whats best for your baby. You never have to worry about warming it, having the right water, having clean bottles. I have recently gone back to work and the hassle of making bottles for her while Im gone is insane. I wish I could just take her and breastfeed her while Im at work. LOL!

Most people dont like breastfeeding cause you cant hand off the baby and let someone else have a turn...but I can tell you, the bond with your baby is so strong when you breastfeed. You get lots of eye contact time with them. I am in the process of finding a good formula to supplement with. Another great thing about breastmilk is that if you pump...you can mix half formula and half breastmilk. Breastmilk is so cool b/c a baby can use all of the breastmilk and have no waste...aka no poop! A breastfed baby can go for a week without pooping. To me that sounds like something better than any of us will ever eat! Our bodies are designed to breastfeed like every other mammal. I say try your best and at least do half and half. You will feel better about giving your baby the best you can! You wont miss the alcohol and foods you may have to stay away from for a while....the look of a
healthy happy baby far outweighs anything I can get from a store!
I suggest getting a good breastfeeding book and reading it cover to cover. There is so much support out there for breastfeeding moms. And ya know what...thats what our breasts were made for. They were not designed as sexual objects, but to feed our children. I am a strong believer in breastfeeding, I dont think bad of anyone who doesnt or feels like its just not for them. But I do believe that no amount of money can buy a formula that is even close to breastmilk. I hope you get to try at least.

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C.D.

answers from Scranton on

Breast feeding is better for your child. Period. It is also better for you in that it reduces your risk of breast cancer and Type II diabetes. Breast feeding your child reduces their risk of may diseases - both as babies and as they age. That said, breast feeding is labor intensive but hundreds of dollars cheaper than formula. I breast fed both my boys for 10 months (they quit on their own) and had to use formula for the last 2 months. That was a WAY bigger hassel (and expensive) than nursing was. I would have done another 4 months breast feeding rather than the 2 with formula. Don't worry about people staring at you. I put a blanket over the baby and I and most of the time people thought I was just holding a sleeping baby. They also make some great blankets that hook around your shoulder to keep everything private, so nursing in public isn't so public.

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

Oh yes the great debate. For me I found breastfeeding to be ideal, so much so that I nursed all 3 of my babies until they self wean. I can tell you why I chose to do it that way if you are interested (feel free to PM me) but it was a personal decision that I made long before I had my children. It was a decision that I made for myself and my child without considering the outside opinion of others. I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband that understands, supports and aids in assisting me with my decisions.

You will find that everyone has ways of doing things that benefits their family and lifestyle...Not just with how we feed or rear our children but in every facet of life. No one way is more right or wrong than the other you just have to find the way that best suits you and your family needs.
SO if you are still looking for an outsiders opinion, how about trying the breastfeeding and if it is not for you do something else that works best for you.
Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I will start by saying that I am definitely biased, as a I breastfed my son for 14 months and he never had a bottle of formula. I also have friends who only breastfed for a couple of weeks and then switched to bottles and their babies seem healthy and happy.

From my own experience as well as that of friends I can tell you that breastfed babies spit up less often and it does not smell nearly as bad as formula spit up (have you smelled formula?). BF poo is also a lot less stinky.

You certainly have to do what is most comfortable for you, but if you think you want to breastfeed you need to give it a serious effort for the first month or else I guarantee you will turn to formula. If you can get through the first two or three weeks, they are the hardest and after that breastfeeding is so much easier. I also never had any issues with nursing in public. Just get a few nursing tanks and people don't even realize what you are doing. I had people come up and want to look at my baby and as they went to touch him realize he was eating.

You may also want to wait and see after you have the baby. It might (despite being difficult-although it isn't difficult for every woman) feel like the right thing to do, as it did for me. However, if both your husband and mother are against it you will need to find outside support from a lactation consultant or la leche league. Good luck, this is only one of many decisions you will have to make as a new mommy!

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I.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi there,

Seems you are pretty much open to either, you have the formula, bottles and the breasts (lol!) why not give breastfeeding a go, if it works out and you love it - great, if not, you can switch to bottle feeding. Once baby arrives one is often flooded with emotion, you might find that you have a very strong urge to breastfeed or not into it at all. There are no set rules, you could even combine to get the best of both worlds!!

Breastfeeding rquires a lot of hard work, determination and often sore breast and nipples for the first couple of weeks BUT if it is what you want to do you will peservere. Bottles require constant cleaning and is not 'on-hand' as is breastmilk - pro's and cons to both.

With both my girls I so desperately wanted to breastfeed and could only do so for 3 weeks each time, I was distraught and cried for days. You have the benefit of not being set on either.

At the end of the day its pretty much the same scenario as with naural vs c-section, bottom line - we do what is in the best interest of our baby and our health.

A happy mom = a happy family.

Go with your gut when the time presents itself - it will be the first of many instances when your mother instinct will tell you whats best to do.

Best of luck and congratulations on the little one!!

D.M.

answers from Denver on

Well, the first 6-8 weeks of breastfeeding with son #1 were tough because I didn't make much milk and he nursed ALL the time, so I was SORE. While I was on maternity leave, I'd stick ice cubes down my bra on the rare occasion he wasn't nursing. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Son #3 is a much less avid nurser and I am grateful that I got so "broken in" to whole deal with son #1, since son 3 took so much more determination.

(son #2 joined our family at 11 months and if he was ever breastfed, it would have been for his 1st 3 days of life only).

Although I have had to supplement from time to time, I'd say breastfeeding, among all its other benefits, saved us a TON of money. I also found it to be much more convenient.

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M.E.

answers from San Francisco on

Regarding the "Negatives of breast feeding" I don't think I experienced any of them. I breastfed both of my daughters' up to age 2 and it is something I will remember forever. It was a time that forced us to slow down and be together. It is one of my fondest memories of being a new mom. That said, it took a while for me to get the hang of breastfeeding and I stuck with it because it was important to me. And my family was supportive. If you're mom is going to give you a hard time for breastfeeding you'll need to feel confident in your decision to breastfeed if that's what you decide. Good-luck.

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K.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

Try to breastfeed! I know you said you are and that's AWESOME! It's so worth any initial pain (or at least it was in the case of my 2 sons) and it saves you so much money as well. And oh the bond you have with your baby - it's a wonderful thing. And you can always supplement a bit if you have to.

GOod luck!
K

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

I nursed both of mine for over a year. It seems you have researched and asked others lots of questions and gotten some good info...the only comments I have for you are that if your husband isn't supportive of bf, then it makes it a more challenging endeavor. Not impossible, but challenging. I personally dealt with very little pain, clogged ducts, infections, bleeding while nursing. I had one infection, that was the pain and inconvience equivilant of a cold, while not fun also not a deal breaker. Even with the costs of a good pump, nursing pads, etc the cost of bf is WAY less than formula. My vote obviously is for bf, but I will say again if hubby isn't on board then you may have a harder time and any challenges will seem more difficult without a supportive partner.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

You have it all in front of you you just put it all out there it is only up to each individual person to breast or bottle feed baby nobody can help you decide it comes with motherhood...
My 1st it was breast for 4 months then formula was added completely off ny 9 months
My 2nd breast feed till medical issues came along & needed to end breastfeeding so 3 months them formula
My 3rd completely breastfeed no bottles or formula till she was introduced to 100% juice in a cup them whole milk @ 1 yr. off breast completely @ 15 months..

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my first baby 3 months after I turned 20 I breastfed her and THANK GOD I did. When she was 3 weeks old, I was infected with a mild for of shingles. If I had not breastfed her, she would have been exposed to chicken pox and that is SO dangerous for a baby that age. It was only on my left arm, so I had to have it completely covered to hold her, which was fine. It was painful, but I had to deal with the pain of that because I couldn't breastfeed on the medication. The bonding is SO amazing and I breaastfed my other two as well. It's just my option, though each to their own!! Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

You may want to try breastfeeding and if it doesn't work, give yourself permission to use formula. Breastfeeding didn't work for me.....(2 weeks of thrush, pain, a tongue-tie killed it for me)... I felt so guilty........

One of my pediatricians put my mind at ease when he said that it's good for the baby if he has the ability to do both.... If something happened to me, he would survive because there's a bottle, etc...

I still felt really guilty that I couldn't breastfeed.....It's good that you have a balanced mindset right now. Good luck!

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I haven't read any of the other responses but I would like to tell you that there is also a real downside to NOT breast feeding. On the pain aspect, you will be very engorged because you body will naturally create milk after you deliver. You will also have doubts emotionally about weather or not you made the right decision. Also, you will not go back to your pre-pregnancy body as quickly as you'd like to.
If you are determined to BF your baby you will not fail. It is hard to learn for you and baby and it isn't always easy or convenient in the middle of the night when you're the only one who can get up and take care of baby's needs. Just remember this...IT IS THE BEST thing you can do for your baby! All the reasons you listed not to BF are IMO just excuses.
I loved BFing my babies. My first wouldn't take the breast and I gave up and pumped exclusively for 3 months because I was determined to give her breastmilk...it was horrible. My second got a bottle when he was 4 months and by 5 months he refused to BF anymore. My youngest I had to stop BFing for medical reasons at 10 weeks and it broke my heart because she was doing so good and I loved the bond that it had created between her and I. Trust me when I say it is worth BFing, there is no greater feeling of accomplishment when you've created a beautiful child, carried it in your womb, labored with that child and then single handedly allowed that child to thrive off of you for many more months to come.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I didn't have a chance to read all the 75+ responses, so I apologize if this is redundant. First, I want to say that you need to do what you're comfortable with regardless of what others tell you. From your question, I noticed that all the things you claim were negatives about bottle feeding are absolutely true, but the negatives about breastfeeding most of them are not necessarily true or not true in most cases. I breastfed my son until he was 18 months old and have a 5 1/2 month old that I am breastfeeding, so I obviously have a bias towards breastfeeding. I am one of those Moms who also had a very hard time at first with my second child and many times I wanted to give up, but what people say is true...you can always decide to switch to formula, but you can't just decide to switch back to the breast if you started with formula. I kept that in mind the times when I was in alot of pain and people kept telling me to switch to a bottle. And I'm so glad I did, I got over the hump and everything just fell into place! I find it so much easier than bottlefeeding and other than being in work, I'm usually always with my daughter or I plan my time around her feedings so it's usually convenient. I also enjoy the bonding time with her, it helps me settle from whatever chaos I'm in the middle of and put things in perspective! :) I find that I don't give her many bottles right now, b/c I would still need to pump so it's just easier to feed her myself when I'm there...but you can always introduce a bottle to help you get some sleep or allow your husband to get involved in feeding your baby. Even if you work you can keep it up by pumping at work if allowed. I've been back to work for 1 1/2 months and I pump twice a day at work...I have the Medela electric pump which is awesome! And as you mentioned, the benefits aren't only to the baby, but their are many benefits to the Mom as well. Whatever you do will be the right choice, b/c it will be your choice! But my feedback is try the breastfeeding and if it doesn't work out or isn't for you, then you know you gave it a try. Good luck and congrats on your new little miracle!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, V.:

What is the reason that you are having such a difficult time in making
a decision about breast feeding?

Just want to know.
D.

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C.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you breastfeed and then want your husband to bond w/baby and do a feeding, try pumping and put it in your baby's bottle. As so many others have said, it's a personal choice. I was sold on breastfeeding until I had my first child. I had a very difficult time, then pumped for 6 weeks, was totally miserable and stressed, then finally switched to formula. I was pumping and supplementing w/formula and I messed his tummy up terribly! We used Nestle Good Start (after trying 3 other formulas that all made his tummy upset) every since he was 4 months old, and he's now a healthy 5-year old. We put our daughter on Good Start from day 1 and she's been fine. Every baby is different, and no matter how much you plan ahead, you may find that reality dictates what your final choice will be. If you decide to breastfeed, rent a pump for a week or ask to use one in the hospital and see if it is something you want to invest in. You can buy perfectly good used pumps and the only thing you have to replace is the tubing (for sanitation reasons). Everything else can be sterilized. Good luck on your decision and enjoy that new baby when he arrives!

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C.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi I nursed both of my children... It has to be a personal choice for you, are you going to work or stay home? I am a stay at home mom and nursed, for me it was easier to just nurse as didn't have to deal with bottles or temperature and if we were out and about, if we were in a clothing store I just went into the changing room and nursed and then continued on shopping. If baby was wanting to nurse before going into a store I nursed in the car... The best part is that it is free, when starting solids I would pump to get the milk in the cereal but it seemed like such a nuisance to me... As for the clogged ducts and the above I nor the babies had any issues... If you decide to Nurse, You just have to get past that 1st couple of weeks it will hurt but in the end it's worth it... Another bonus to think about you won't have to wean from a bottle if you strictly breastfeed without pumping but everyone's situation is different... Good Luck! and Congratulation on your little one.

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