The 'Hang-out House'

I am actually going to start hanging out at InMy30'sAlready?! house. In fact, prepare the guest room...I am staying :)!

My house is the hang-out house.
I always have my kids' friends over.
I don't mind.
They know that.
My kids are now 4 & 8, and they have friends over all the time.
I just have snacks/food for them.
They are independent and just play all over the house.
I supervise.
The parents of the kids, will often bring food/snacks over too.
That is their 'contribution.'
It is just customary here.

I always tell my kids, their friends can come over anytime. When/if we don't have plans ourselves or need down time.
The other parents appreciate it.
They can stay or not.
Whichever.

all the best,
Susan

Ha! My Mom was good on this one...without even knowing it we all fell for it lol anytime we wanted to do anything she would casually suggest, do it here, have it here, school projects..here, everything was here! lol But she was pretty cool and let us think we were getting away with things.

Funny story, my bff and I were about 18/19 and these boys were coming over late at night, well we told her and we told her they thought we would be sneaking out to jack in the box with them LOL she said ok, bring me something back hahaha

Well my house has been a hang out house for years. I think 1 reason is that we have an only child and a lot of kids gravitate here because she basically has the entire upstairs to herself. If there were a kitchen upstairs, we'd rarely see her!! A lot of the kids come here because they have siblings at home, want to get away from home for a while, etc.
I've had a few who have been here almost every weekend from Friday after school until Sunday afternoon. Some of those we call couch surfers and it is good kids who's parents are going through trouble and they just don't want to be home. They can be safe here and they know it.

I've always welcomed them with open arms but also reinforced that if they do not respect my property and follow my rules they will be asked to leave.

I do have a well stocked pantry and a fridge that holds drinks only (soda, eater, gatorade, etc). They are welcome to eat and drink but clean up their mess.

The girls love having spa days here. They go to the guest bathroom with is large, soak their feet in large stanless steel bowls and do mani/pedis. They use facial masks and the works. I let them home make some facial masks. Many times, they love to cook. I keep small packets of ready to mix muffins, cookie dough in the freezer, etc for them to cook.

I give them their space to be teens. The parents of the kids who come here know that I know what is going on in my house and our house rules.

One thing I make sure to do.... I am the parent here, not BFF. I will laugh, love and have a great time with you.

I am not the BFF mom who will cart you around to obtain alcohol, let you have it in my house, vandalize other property by TP'ing, etc or give you a place to spend time (sex) with your boy/girl friend.

Hope that helps!

EDIT: I threw in the comment aout the BFF/mom because we actually have a mom who does this sort of thing. The thing is.... the other kids knew it was wrong and they in turn told parents. Needless to say, our children do not frequent that house. It's sad, the particular mom is reliving her childhood through her daughter and it is embarrassing her daughter to death.

I think it's just a matter of having an open door - so to speak. Invite kids over whenever you get the chance - offer to babysit for other parents - to have a date night, a shopping night during Christmas, etc. It's also good to have something planned I think to give other parents an idea of what their kids will be doing at your house. For example, we're going to dye Easter Eggs, or make Valentine cookies, have a dance-a-thon with the Wii or play dress up and have a fashion show.

Our kids are also little, so it's mostly lots of play dates now, but in preparation for the pre-teen and teen years, we've already invested in a pool table. My husband and I really want to be the cool hang out so we know where our children are hanging out and with whom. I even had my sister, who paints murals, paint this vintage Route 66 feel old motel sign pointing the way to our bonus room that says "The Hangout"! It advertises "air conditioning" "swimming pool" (which we DON"T have) and free Wi-fi! HA!

We automatically have a hang out house because of the amenities and because we don't have expensive furniture and I'm not extremely anal.
The kids have a game room for video games and there's a drumset in it, we have a big yard, basketball net, etc. I'm like you-I want my kids to prefer being at home with friends than to always go to friends' homes.

We have the 'Hang-Out House' for our teenagers...

but we also have lots of 'Toys'...we have:
A Pool w/slide and diving board
A Foosball Table
An Air Hockey Table
A Dart Board
A Drum Set
A collection of guitars for the kids to dink around with
A Trampoline
4 'Kid Friendly' computers
2 XBOX 360's
A Wii
TONS of games to go with...and a complete downstairs set up, complete with their own bathroom, that most of this stuff goes in...so they feel they have their own space, which helps...I think anyway.

AND I always FEED them really well :)

If you can successfully turn your house into the hang-out house, I say do it! It is so much better to have them at your house then somewhere else.

We don't have a big house, and I do home childcare so space is set aside for that...but on occasion, and in spurts, we are the hang out place. We are willing...have a great TV set up for movies and several to sit and lay about. My 16 yr old daughter is not overly social, but her small group of eclectic arty friends love to do cupcake parties..they have for years, so they do them at our place. We have great cats too! LOL

In the warmer weather we have a nice peaceful patio with an arbor to just sit under and have a snack and chat. My daughters friends just chat alot, especially now that a few of them go to an Art school, away from the main crew they grew up with.

So I buy alot of baking supplies, frozen pizzas, delivery pizzas (lots of vegetarians in that crew...we are NOT) and flavored water...I pick up and drop kids off. I listen and offer words when it seems appropritate..I scold in a nice way (like when swearing or dissing on pals not here gets out of hand...reminding them they would not like that if it were them being talked about, etc). I praise their accomplishments...and commiserate their disappointments. They bake and sing and are silly! (I had them doing shaving cream play with food color at my table one day...just like I do with 2 and 3 year olds in my daycare...LOL they had so much fun and said "My mom would NEVER let me do this at home!" They went home with blue and purple and orange hands!)

And there is TOTALLY something to the only child thing I think?? Many of dd's pals say its so nice and quiet here, with no other sib's. LOL. I never thought much on that point!

My daughter tells us we are the "cool" parents...especially ME! I am a cool mom! Who-da thunk?

EDIT TO ADD: I have done home childcare since my daughter was 3...so we always had the best backyard toys..and inside ones for when the parents in the area were comfortable letting kids inside to play. When she was young..we had the fenced yard, big swingset (specifically made for very young kids..modified for all ages sorta thing)...and as I got to know parents thru little classes my dd did, etc, they got to know my daycare gig and to understand how "super safe" my home was..inspected by the state, extra fire extinguishers and all that jazz....it sort of blossomed from there. Parents just felt safer with their kids in my care in general. Certainly helped out in the young years.....)

I've got O. here! My son is an only and his friends love to come here to get away from annoying siblings! LOL
Drinks, snacks & a Wii helps too!

we have just turned into the cool house on the block and i'm not sure why. we don't have food or drinks for the kids unless it's really hot out and then its lemonaid. we have rules when the kids are in the house, no boys in the girls rooms and no girls in the boys rooms and NEVER can the doors be closed. we did get a wii for xmas and they have come over and played that as well as if there is a movie we rented and its 1/2 day, i will text the other parents and let them know the kids can come over and watch too. one of my son's classmates lives down the street and they invite him over to jump on their trampoline which is nice. we live on a cul de sac so the kids generally play on our street out of the traffic. they all have bikes, scooters, skateboards and rollerblades. i also MAKE the neighbor kids wear their helmets when their own parents dont. i will also step in if there is a fight or disagreement and remind all of them that we are neighbors and need to get along and to work it out. i also ask the older ones to be a good example to the younger ones and to not say bad words or talk about things that are not appropriate for them. i think they respect this. i also am interested in what they say, listen to their stories and hope they will confide in me. i have learned some things that help with my own kids and whats going on around them. so i guess i don't really have advice, just be yourself and have a place where the kids can have fun.

this was just asked theother day. here is the post for some ides.

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/17792652309554135041

We're working on this now (well, planning on working on it this spring, now we're just talking about it, lol).

My kids are 10, 7, 2.75 & 1.25, so they're not so much into hanging out just yet. I have somehow become the hangout house for other people's kids though, lol. We have a 14 y/o from church that babysits for us pretty frequently (Saturday night bowling league, older kids' activities and sports that the little ones just can't be entertained during) and she comes over (and usually has one or two friends) at least 3 days a week after school, in addition to the days she babysits for us. When school is cancelled, she usually ends up here too, again, with at least one friend with her. We don't mind at all and the kids love having her. We've actually been (jokingly) calling her our 5th child lately, lol.

I would just make sure that they, and their parents, know that they're always welcome to hang out at your house. I always had the "hang out house" in HS, and we didn't have any fancy stuff - no gaming system, and a really crappy little TV for us to watch. But we always had food in the house and my folks let everyone know they were welcome.

well it depends on who you want to attract, kids, tweens, teens or adults, but the answer to all of that is, cool seating and a game system. Like for kiddos, bean bag chairs and a wii, for tweens and teens that could work too, but i think xbox is the teen choice.