The In-laws Are Coming for Christmas

Movies for a day are fine. Pull out chutes and ladders as well and let them go to town. If you want to take a more active roll in their celebration, you can do crafts or have them help with baking? Puzzles area also a good option. It's also perfectly fine to ask their parents to suggest something or bring something with them that they know their kid enjoys.

Oh boy.... :) It's going to be crazy, but that's okay. Just put anything breakable up and out of the way. You can play a movie, set up a craft and some games and a small amount of toys. Is there anywhere fenced outside for them to play?

E.

http://www.babysignswithelizabeth.blogspot.com

Hi, K.--

Wow, you must be asking what you have gotten yourself into! ugh. I am sorry to hear that this plopped into your lap, but you are one great mama to make the best of it and run with it. That said, I would engage others and solicit their help. That is a huge crowd to accommodate especially with regards to the wide age range. To be sure, a lot of the kids will tote along some of their Christmas presents and will want to have fun with them. When people ask what they can bring or help with, have a list handy and designate specific things they can do (i.e., I need you to come up with two activities for the younger children before dinner; I need someone to help corral the activities to this area while we are getting dinner on the table and until we are seated...) Would something like that work for you? Perhaps your husband can assist in a lot of this. It sounds like you may have to take the bull by the horns with this family since they don't communicate directly (i.e., you found out they were coming through a sister in law) and you may have to model this communication.

Sending you good thoughts for a happy time for everyone!

I am doing the same thing for my daughters 1st birthday 2 days after thanksgiving! We will have 16 kids (12,10,9,7,7,6,6,5,3,3,2,1,1,5mon, 5mon, 4 mon) and 13 adults. This wil be first time both sides of the family will be here and we had to limit it to just grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and cousins. (not even great aunts and uncles!)
We are planning on having movies on for the kids and unplugging the video games (less fighting). We are also hopeing for a somewhat nice day so that we can get the kids outside to run off some energy. If there is snow people are to bring snow suits. We are assigning dishes for people to bring to help out.
We normally hold very large holidays (christmas was 10 adults and 8 kids) and we have found that if you ask people will help. When it comes to dishes after the meal if someone is not helping cleaning I ask them to be in charge of kids. I have not had any problems once I have asked.
My biggest advice is to not be shy. Ask for help from your inlaws and one thing that I did was have my mom cook the turkey on christmas. She came over early and helped most of the day (my daughter was only 4 weeks old) Tell your mother-in-law it would be great if she did the main dish so that it would be an old fashioned family dinner.
Also put up everything that you do not want broken...
If you get stressed during the day, you have the right to tell everyone you are tired and they need to take over.
Try to enjoy the laughter of the day and seeing all your neices and nephews!
Good luck and feel free to contact me if you need more support! I sure did the first time I hosted our large family!
M.

I don't know, if I were you I'd be half tempted to cancel since nobody was actually invited by you OR ask your MIL to provide a large part of the meal.

Anyway, I come from a large family (7 kids) and here is how we battle family holidays that now consist of 17 adults and 8 kids (ages 1-12) and that is without grandparents!

Usually whoever is hosting provides the main dish (turkey & stuffing) then each of the sides and desserts are delegated to someone else. For example, I usually bring the green bean casserole and the rolls, my older sister usually makes a few pies, and my SIL makes the mashed potatoes and a jello salad. We all kind of make our husband's favorites. We bring the supplies to the hostess's house and make it there.

Usually the women are cooking, and while the men can watch some football it is their responsibility to take care of the kids. The kids like to watch movies, play games, and look at books. With the variance in age I'll bet you can get the older kids to help with the younger ones by playing with them. We like card games, like Go Fish, Old Maid, I even found a Thanksgiving themed Bingo for kids online. The older ones can help the younger ones play or ask your family that has the older kids to bring a kid game or family favorite. One of our family favorites is Disney's Trivial Pursuit. It is fun to play in teams because you can have an older person and younger person on the same team and sometimes that really halps.

I hope that helps and that you do have a really nice Thanksgiving!

M.

If you have a space, turn one room into a place room for the day. We had huge family holidays at my Grandma's every year, and she put toys and such all in one room, so we could have a place to play. That way, only that one room will be trashed. I would also ask your husband to make it clear to his family that their children are their responsibility, and that you will in no way be providing child care.

You don't mention what area you live in...but most areas have indoor play places (in Bend it's called Kiddoz), we also have a place called Bouncing off the Walls (those big blow-up, bouncy houses). I would suggest an outing to a place like that for the kids ~ maybe 1/2 the adults go to supervise & the other 1/2 stay home to cook.

If you have an attached garage, maybe set up a table or two in the garage (for the older kids) for arts & crafts - painting, playdoh, etc. The mess stays out of the house & the kids stay out from underfoot.

The oldest of the kids should be assigned simple tasks: folding blankets up when everyone gets up, setting the table for meals, etc. It will help them feel "grown-up". If the oldest is mature enough, you might also "hire" them to help watch the younger kids.

Also - do NOT feel bad about laying down the law for your in-laws kids if they are not behaving appropriately. I would not have a problem giving time-outs to someone else's child that is acting out.

Good luck!

If you have the space for that many people do it at home and make it easy on yourself. My dad had a pretty big family and I always remember holidays at my uncles house fondly.
We have a tiny house, but we we're having a lot of people w/kids over this is what we do:
- clear out the living room or another "common room" to adults and kids can socialize. We take out the coffee table, anything that is displayed and might break, any items hazardous to kids and in general anything we don't want anyone to mess with.
- you could turn your child's bed room into a quiet room, whether the younger children can retreat to when they are overstimulated (and they will be at one point!)
- have a little craft table, but nothing too messy (no paint or glue, stick with tape and stickers/crayons)
- put all those well meaning relatives that invited themselves to work! Have people bring side dishes, salads, wine and dessert.
Try to have fun, I am sure everyone will have a blast!

Having worked with very large groups of children of mixed ages, this is my suggestion:

First of all, think of this as "just for one day". Just for one day, it IS okay to have movies on all day, most especially if you are going to be busy with other details and the other adults don't feel so compelled to mind their kids. Have each family bring a 'favorite movie' for their kids. Send very clear guidelines via email so there's no confusion (no scary movies, harsh language, etc--whatever your families preferences are). Having a stack of favorite movies is a last resort, but useful.

Invite each family to have their child bring one or two favorite games. This works well in lieu of toys, as games are meant to be shared and Christmas toys are often very special to the child.

Make a rotation chart and explain it beforehand. Ask parents to sign up to be the Adult Eyes and Ears, (each family can have one parent do an hour-hour and a half shift).

If it were me, I'd be fairly honest with people about what is needed to pull this off. Let them know that it will be fun for us all to visit, and the children really do need a dedicated set of adults to watch them. (Maybe signing people up in pairs to do this so they don't feel alone?) I'd also ask people to bring a ready-to-serve dish and do some of this potluck style. This could save you a lot of work and I think it makes people more thoughtful about what's going on instead of showing up someplace to say "let's eat".

One more thing: I directed childcare for religious services recently and we had just this, mixed ages and a high number of children. We were staffed at a 1 adult:4-5 children ratio and this was necessary for the relative success of the program. Know that you do not have to be superwoman and that it is Perfectly Reasonable to ask people to step up. Discuss this with your husband and have*HIM* send the email out to his family.Coming from him, a family member, will protect you and your relationships with his family. The bare bones of the matter is that childcare for so many children IS work and it all goes so much better if we share it.

Happy holidays!

First of all, put your husband to work. He has to get your home ready for this production. Helping to do any deep cleaning before the decorations go up, etc. You don't say how large your home is, 20 people is a large number in any one place. You're pregnant and probably get exhausted by the afternoon, so I'd suggest a buffet lunch, 2pm is not dinner time. Tell your mother in law and all the sisters in law that this is what you're doing and have a menu planned and ask them what item they'd like to bring. Offer them choices, but this is the menu. Seeing as how this is at your home, the turkey, goose, ham or beef should be yours to fix, if no other reason than logistics. Now as far as the kids are concerned. I can imagine this is your in-laws opportunity to all get together and open the family gifts. So, before too much more time passes by and things don't get too crazy.... draw names for gifts and set a limit. buying for 17 other people will break your bank and that's not the purpose for the holiday. Adults exchange with adults and the kids exchange with the kids. This way the opening of gifts won't be an hours on end production. You'll keep the amount of trash/gift wrap down. And the number of excess toys in your house will be limited. Having a holiday movie marathon for the kids is perfectly acceptable. With the large number of kids, put a sheet on the floor and let them picnic their lunch. Keep the menu for the kids down to finger foods or easily handled things on their plates (not a lot of cutting or chasing peas on the plate) Gifts are opened after the meal. Meal should start within an hour of everyone's arrival, no longer than that.

For your sanity, there needs to be a beginning and an end to this day. It can't go on until 9, 10, 11pm in the evening. Kids will be cranky and naps missed, let alone bedtimes.

Don't let folks leave without taking their dishes. Be sure to have lots of plasticware to put the leftovers in. Dishes should be washed before they leave. Husband does not get to go to bed or veg out until everything is put away for the day.

Have a great day!! Do this on a rotating basis so you're not the one doing this again next year when you have an infant and a toddler.

In my experience, if there are that many cousins together, it won't take much to entertain them, as they will probably just love to play together!
You could have some games and/or puzzles available for different ages-- maybe a big floor puzzle for the little ones.
Honestly if it were me I would remove anything valuable to a safe place, and then just let them have fun and "destroy" the house if they want. It's just for a day.

Wow! Good Luck! More than likely the parents should bring stuff to entertain them. Also maybe invest in a new "Christmas" movie that may entertain them all, I see nothing wrong with putting on movies. That is a huge age gap to try and please them all!!! It is Christmas, just try and relax and dont have any expectations.....this way you wont get dissapointed!!! Good Luck!

Oh K. you sound just like me! I am one of two kids and my hubby is one of EIGHT! There are 16 grandkids on his side from 13-1month with 11of them five and under, makes for craziness at holiday times! My in laws are the same as yours just ignore what is going on and it makes me NUTS!! I have a few suggestions for you!

First off DO NOT ALLOW them to bring NEW TOYS! I not sure how their kids are but mine of course want nothing to do with sharing their new toy and then it just starts a fight. So I would suggest making a small request that NO NEW TOYS are brought and I would put away any that your daughter go so there is no fighting!

Second, make everyone in charge of part of the meal! You are awesome for hosting everyone and that should be the majority of what you do for the day, not waiting on them hand and foot and making them all dinner! Make a list of all the dishes you want and then let them sign up or I just sign them up and they are in charge of bringing it prepared of preparing it at your house, but they are in charge of it!.

Third, buy a new movie or game, or have them bring some. I have also done things where I lock all the channels, except for music or cartoons, so the adults don't just plop down and watch tv and ignore everyone.

I like the idea of having parents sign up for times to play/entertain the kiddos! this would be great and then they are in charge of an activity as well!

Well GOOD LUCK and remember you can do ANYTHING for one day! That is what I always tell myself! God Bless! :)

I come from a large family and we have always come together for a big Christmas dinner. And, for Thanksgiving, Easter...and many times just to get together. There are about 30 of us when we all come together. I know it seems daunting to feed and entertain that many people, but its not as hard as you think! =) My family always makes it a family event...each family pitches in and brings something. Usually the host will provide the main dish, like the turkey, and maybe the mashed potaotes and gravy. Then, each other family brings a side dish and/or a dessert. Several bring a bottle of wine. Maybe someone brings rolls, there are lots of ways to help with the food!

For the activites, the kids will probably have lots of things to do with the Christmas gifts...assuming you will all be opening and exchanging gifts. I'd get some coloring books, paper, and crayons or WASHABLE markers for the kids. One year at my Grandma's the kids all made place cards for the family. I think the paper was pre-cut and folded, then the younger ones could draw a picture or glue some decorations on..or stickers, and the older ones can write the names of each family member. Then, they can all put them at the table.

I also think movies are fine. And, the kids can play outdide too. They don't care if its cold or raining like we do. My kids went out and rode bikes last year in the snow. Grandpa took them out and they all had a great time! Then, they came in and had some hot chocolate. FUN!

Just don't stress about it...it will all be fine and everyone will have fun!!! Enlist your husband to to help too! And, prep what you can the day before...bread crumbs for the stuffing, etc.

Have a GREAT time!!! Merry Christmas!!
=) S.

I don't know where you live, but I would look for things to do outside or away from the house (where the in-laws can take them). Santa sightings, sleigh rides, snow tubing, craft days at the mall or parks departments? They will be so tired that they'll welcome a movie with hot chocolate or popcorn!
As for meals, get some casserole style Dream Dinners ahead of time, keep in the freezer, pop in the oven as needed.

I only have a second... but I teach in a K-12 so we try to look for ways to have the older kids teach the younger kids and interact all the time. I would suggest simple games or crafts and a movie. The parents will appareciate the thought and the kids will not be bored and running wild the entire time. We just went to a party with 40+ adults and their kids and the hostess had like 3 crafts that the kids kind of made their own and adapted for themselves. Just an idea... maybe put grandma in charge of this since she invited everyone over!

We gather at Thanksgiving and for the years when we are all there, we number 60+ (My grandma has 30+ great grandchildren) and we use my aunt's church fellowship hall. The kids will group together and play with each other - let them figure it out. There are always a few melt-downs, but we work it out. Dinner is a potluck with my aunt usually providing the turkey and usually a ham, too. It will be chaotic for sure, but there is nothing quite like our crowd all joining hands and sharing what we are thankful for, saying grace and singing The Doxology together! Try to enjoy the blessings of your family and do the best you can.

I would set aside a craft table with cotton balls, paste, construction paper trees, snowmen, Santa hat, crayons etc. Puzzles, toys, candy land come with the gentle reminder that you pick up after using something. I also would assign a buddy system. Pair the 10 yr old with a 2 yr old and encourage them to be helpful and responsible for their little buddy. It is your house, line them all up in the playroom (or corner) and remind them of your rules and expectations at the beginning. I think they'll impress you.
Since your MIL was so helpful in the inviting category :-)
I wouldn't be shy about delegating tasks ! "Mom, can you go check on the kids and see if they're ready for Charlie Brown Christmas yet?" "Can you get the door?" "Can you open this bottle of wine?"
Relax and have a good time ! I think you'll do great.