The Intelligence of a Child?

yeah, she's smart. no clue what you mean by 'too smart for her age.'
do not get all invested in how much better a mother you are than others.
khairete
S.

In my opinion, you have a very gifted young lady. Congradulations on a job well done.
L.

P.S. I write this as my youngest son (15 months) keeps walking into a wall, laughing with a bucket on his head.

Sounds like you are doing an awesome job as a mom. My granddaughter is 2 and a half and knows everything and more.... she's a learning machine that constantly challenges my daughter in law. Keep up the good work. She is doing what is expected of a child that has a mom that loves teaching :)

To me she sounds like a normal, inquisitive, happy 3yo. :) :) :)

Typically when you're looking at gifted kids you're looking for things a couple years outside the 'norm' in one or more areas (but usually ONLY a few areas, not all... very few in straight gifted, and almost never more than one are in highly or profoundly gifted.

Ex) to use reading as the area of focus... but there are many different areas, like mathmatics, spatial relationships, electronics, etc.)

- A gifted 3yo may be reading fluently at a 1st or 2nd grade level
- A highly gifted 3yo may be reading at a 4th or 5th grade level
- A profoundly gifted 3yo may be reading at a highschool level in more than one language.

Note the MAYs, on here, as well as the fact that this is just an example. My cousin didn't read until 10 but was building and programming computers at 5, and by age 11 was reading at the college level. Asynchronistic development is really common in giftedness, as is only being gifted in one area. There's actually a lot of testing involved with giftedness / learning / brain development (common tests are the WISC & WPPSI). My example is just super basic/ ballpark kind of thing, not a rule of thumb.

Giftedness is a disorder, just like any other brain disorder (ADHD, Autism, Bipolarity, NSD, etc.), it's the way a child's brain is wired abnormally. There is NOTHING a parent can do to encourage or discourage giftedness, just like there's nothing a parent can do to encourage or discourage other brain disorders. Merely coping mechanisms for the resulting problems (and yes, giftedness comes with MANY problems, and many benefits... like all other brain disorders). Aquisition of knowledge, however, is entirely different than giftedness. If ALL a child is exposed to are "high level" sounding things, that's what they'll learn. For example, if all they had to color/ read/ play with were astronomical things... they'd be spouting off about black holes the way other kids do about Dora & Diego. (It's called "hotboxing"). Kids are sponges, they learn *whatever* is right in front of them. The largest components in giftedness that separate them for typical brained children are the *speed* & *way* they learn... not what they learn. One also often finds giftedness paired with other brain disorders. Aspies (a kind of HFA)and ADHD kids are nearly always gifted, for example. As are most dyslexics.

Your daughter sounds lovely, but for now based off of what you've written, I don't think you need to worry about brain disorders so much.

not trying to be mean, but we all think our children are the brightest and most wonderful...most of us don't post on a message board listing how brilliant they are. sure your daughter sounds smart. also sounds, like you say, like she has a mom who has a LOT of time to spend completey with her. lucky both of you! many of us wish we had that life. but honestly your "question" comes across as kind of catty. if you're really concerned maybe talk to her pediatrician.

Different kids are smart in different ways really. Some kids progress faster or slower in different areas. It has to do with the child and parenting/care given by the caregiver, but not just one or the other.

My 3 year old has physical intelligence. He has taken apart my vacuum down to the last screw and can put it back together CORRECTLY. He can climb ANYTHING (we are talking handholds the size of the lightswitch...) he knows his letters... kinda... and his numbers... kinda, but really he KNOWS how the physical works, which of course comes with it's own set of problem... like being able to climb the walls and get screwdrivers....

My 5 year old is socially smart. She is VERY empathetic and knows how other kids work. You should have seen her at 3 mediating the 5 and 6 year olds having arguments on the playground. This comes with the issue of being able to manipulate people too. I have to be on my toes or she will talk her way out of having a bedtime. She already talked her way out of doing homework for her kindergarten teacher. Oh and she still had MAJOR issued with her numbers and letters.

So was I a bad mom? I mean I have 2 kids that really don't know letters/numbers/name shapes, but it isn't like I haven't tried. It doesn't interest them, they are more interested in their own thing.

Sounds pretty normal to me... I mean I'm sure she's bright and delightful, but none of this strikes me as way outside of what a three year old can do. Everything you mention is included in most preschool/Pre-K curricula so clearly it's expected that normal kids this age can learn to do this.

HTH
T.

I think your lil' girl is a lil' above average...or to use your words..."just plain smart"! :)

Kudos to you Mom! You are doing an awesome job teaching her!

Keep up with what ever you are doing! It's obviously working!
I agree she needs to be with kids her own level...where you will find them is beyond me?

Have you introduced music to her yet? Piano lessons sound like a good idea to me...

~I am sorry you felt as though you got some snarky remarks...I didn't read any of your other responses but I believe this to be a touchy subject and some people may have felt threatened by how much your daughter knows already? IDK? Just a guess? Now I am gonna go read them...

My daughter learns things very quickly as well and everyone seems impressed. They will say things like "wow, how old is she again?" or "she's too smart".

I don't think she is far surpassing her peers but she is definately on the up side of the normal range. There is such window of what is "normal" and I she not lacking in anyway but there are things she could work on. While one kid is great with academics, another is better with artistic things and/or communication/socialization. In a few years, most tend to level off academically. Those that are well socialized will get along better. If those that are academically advanced don't learn to socialize they my feel more isolation.

So I do think your child's abilities are also on the high side of normal, which is better than the alternative but presents it's own challenges. Continue working with her but realize she should learn to better communicate/socialize with children her own age as well as those that she relates to better. This will only help her when it comes to school and life.

Best of luck to you and your child.

This sounds normal to me. My daughter did all that at 4, and lots of it I didn't even teach her, she just absorbed it from life and PBS.

Behavior issues are not because of being smart. Any child will act out without enough discipline. Smart kids catch on to the rules the fastest if you are clear and firm. Don't worry about grouping objects and stuff-stay away from the internet and all the ADHD/disorders hype unless you really feel something is wrong with her.
Lots of the kids in my daughter's daycare at that age did not speak as well as her-especially boys which is normal. My daughter happened to be a really early talker. Early doesn't mean smarter, it just means early. Once she gets in higher grades they can test her for super brilliant-ness but most of what kids know is a result of what they're taught, so sometimes kids with diligent parents are classified as gifted, and kids with less active parents are left as"normal". Kids all even out when they get older. Dont' sweat it. Just make sure she's not too bored and not too pressured.

It sounds like normal behavior for a 3 year old who is probably of above average intelligence (bright possibly gifted) but probably not a prodigy or genius.

I have a three year old daughter. I'll use your list for comparison. She can count to 30, forwards and backwards and count by 2s. She can spell her name. She knows her shapes, colors (including which colors need to be mixed to create other colors...she's my artist), opposites, she can do puzzles and play matching games, she can write her alphabet but only when she wants to (never on command) and knows the various letter sounds, knows her left and right (but still gets her shoes mixed up from time to time) and knows a bit about basic addition, subtraction and fractions. There are many, many more things she can do and things she cannot do.

My daughter also isn't extremely social. She likes other children, they like her but they do not play the same ways. She tends to be imaginative whilst playing which some children are into and some are not. For example, if there is a sandbox my daughter will bury dinosaurs so she can be a paleontologist. She wants the other kids to join in on her dig and she wants to teach and/or learn about whatever dinosaur she happens to dig up. Some join in and others don't know what a paleontologist is and would rather throw sand. That doesn't mean my child is smart and the sand thrower isn't. It just means they have different personalities.

When your child is tested for beginning school and with the continued testing throughout her school career, you should be able to determine if she is bright, gifted or beyond. As for right now, just keep helping learn at whatever pace is comfortable for her. Good luck.

Oh, and like Riley said (well, I'm paraphrasing), being "gifted" isn't all it is cracked up to be (I know as I was labeled that way when in school). It comes with its own challenges and, honestly, it hasn't gotten me any further in life than someone who is of average intelligence and a hard worker.

YES she sounds extremely bright. and extremely bright children can be very difficult. so It's good you're recognizing it early and can start reading about parent a child like her. My daughter could do all that at three 1/2, and had great large motor skills and was VERY social. Now she is a waitress, :( If I were you I'd search thru some older posts here and search for articles to help you. For instance there are articles to explain how very smart children sometimes refuse to try new things, how important it is to praise effort not how smart she is,(if she learns a new word or new fact today it doesn't mean she put much effort into it, could just be easy for her to memorize, but she will be told OH you're so smart, if she fails at building a tall tower or making a new friend or drawing a house, but then keeps trying and trying she deserves praise for her hard work no matter what the outcome. Try to help her expand, not just build on her strengths,Music was a great idea how are her large motor skills? Can she retell a story? how are he self care skills does she like to do it herself or have mommy dress her, etc? her social skills? (there are lots of three yr olds with similar verbal skills she should be able to make friends) You mention she likes to sort things and have them just so. I think you sound a little worried, Are you worried she has Aspergers? does she say hello to people? does she make eye contact? does she show empathy? does she obsess over one topic? Is she frustrated with other children because they don't want to talk about her favorite topic? does she really dislike changes in routine? If you are worried about those things do your research, you sound like a very caring mom and I hope we can continue to reassure you and support you. There will always be a response or two you dont like some people respond without thing it thru but most of your responses will be helpful and supportive!

.

Sounds like other normal three year olds.

And, as for the behavior issues? I'm pretty sure nearly every parent of an almost four year old child struggles with the budding independence that the age brings. It like has nothing to do with her developmental capacity.

To me she sounds like the other kids our daughter went to daycare with and then her public schools. Because you stay home with her all of the time, you are giving her a lot of attention. We live in a city that believes education from the beginning of life is just what we do.

Any "behaviors" will be the result of being a toddler and needing to start being a little more independent. And yet, because she is used to so much attention, she will also want to be recognized for each accomplishment and want you close by. This is normal, so you will just need to learn to communicate that just because you are not always praising her, teaching her, playing with her, she is ok and you love her.
This is part of the only/first child personality.

Also the physical part is different for each child. The window for crawling walking a talking is pretty wide in the beginning, but as another mom stated, they all catch up and flat line..

Our daughter lifted her head and turned to face me, the moment they laid her on my stomach when she was born and I first said her name out loud. I had been saying her name out loud the entire pregnancy.

She was fully walking unassisted by 6 months. (so did my husband as a child). She was speaking in 4 and 5 word sentences before she was 1.
She was always a creative child.

But we had many friends especially in our neighborhood.. that were the same ages. And they too developed about these same times. Our daughter refused to potty train till after she was 3, but there were other kids here that trained by about 14 months. Our daughter had a temper, but some of the other kids, could hold it together a lot better.

While she was in daycare, she learned to share, she learned to be on a schedule, to go into her day care class and follow THEIR rules. She learned that she was not the center of everyones life, that she was important to the group and how to make friends.

So , you will just need to help your child to use her words to explain her feelings. To learn manners and to be more independent with her behaviors.

I agree that maybe some dance lessons, some music lessons, some young sports would be fun for her. She will be able to walk away from you, but know you are coming back. She will follow the rules of other adults. She will have to wait her turn and share. That is the social part you want her to learn at this point. She will continue to thrive at her own pace. Your job is to be her touchstone as well as her teacher at this point.

I also am going to guess she will soon be reading. I did not even realize our daughter could read and gave her a set of books. She read the entire set in the car and I had to turn the car around and purchase the second set.

She will always have you on her toes, but remember you are her mom. She will need to remember to follow your family rules.

Keep up the good work!

Nature/nurture...who knows? Children are inclined to learn different things at different times. Some very bright children are harder to discipline, but I wouldn't say it's specifically because she's smart, but because of all the other pieces of her personality *that also* fuel her acquisition and retainment of knowledge. I also see how those personal qualities work very well for kids in school, because they are already self-motivated and believe in their own competence and ability.

I would caution you in regard to this statement:
"she is very weird when she plays, she gets soo in to it. and all her things when she is playing have to be grouped (same color, same size)"

My caution is that you come across a bit wary or concerned about having an intelligent child. This may not be the real situation, but I mention this because of the language you used in your post, so please forgive me if I'm wrong. Intelligent children playing alone are often working on skill-building and mastery, and so sorting by color/shape/number is appropriate. We are human, and it's our nature to almost impulsively categorize...it's a survival instinct. If she's play-acting or being expressive in dramatic play, that's also fine. I see this in my preschool all the time.

There's a lot of development between three and four. It will manifest differently in each child. Do what you can to support her interests and curiosity, and let her lead in showing you what those are. I had a blast last summer because my son (almost 4 now) is curious about fountains, so instead of working on letters or numbers, we just visited fountains, counted objects in the fountain, but mostly he just loved observing. He can now tell you all sorts of things about how water moves, fountains, sewers, french drains, storm drains... you name it. And still, he can't catch a ball and needs help with his fine motor skills. There are different kinds of intelligence in this world.

Bruno Bettelheim's book "A Good Enough Parent" might help relieve some of your worries. Not only does he encourage us to believe that our kids are really going to turn out to be fine people (because this is something our children dearly need from us-- faith in them), he has a lot of discussion about play and personal development. Play is the work of children, and they do work through so much, mastering problems and learning perseverence as well as different approaches to problem-solving and planning ahead. We as early childhood instructors do as much as we can to support this, and so if she's learning playfully, let her keep at it!

H.

The emotional/social development of a child is also important.
No matter how 'smart' she is... she is still 3 years old, developmentally.

Smartness and "Emotional Intelligence" are 2 different things entirely.

If you Google Search "emotional intelligence of kids" or "raising an emotionally intelligent child", it is really good info.

There are many smart kids/people... but, they lack Emotional Intelligence... and that is where... any of life's difficulties come from... if a child/adult is not, developed in this manner.

This is also a very good article. I highly recommend it :
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

I didn't read any other responses but she sounds just like my daughter. She is 5 now and is reading quite well, though she is quirky about it. She has known her abc's and numbers since she was 2. She has aspergers and is soooo smart it is incredible, but she has great difficulty in understanding social nuances. She is difficult and very stubborn. But her intellect and ability to learn stun me daily. And I can see the difference in my son who is not as intelligent but he also has the social stuff down pat. All kids are different and if you have any concern you could talk to your ped. It could be her behavior is more difficult because of her intelligence, I think that is true with my daughter despite her aspergers.

All children are different, books will tell you the milestones your child should reach, but they are very subjective.
My son could read by four, he had a genius level iq - but he could not write a thing to save his life, couldn't catch a ball.
He is still unbelievably advanced in his reading, he is 8 and reads adult novels with ease, but is very non sporty, and hates to write.
your daughter sounds very intelligent and right on track

Probably, but it doesn't really matter. Just praise her effort, don't focus on her intelligence.

Take a deep breath. You are doing an excellent job. I also struggle with bright children. I sometimes wish they were not so smart. Yes, the attitude is a side effect becuase they understand adult chatter around them more then other children their age. You will find children from all backgrounds and socio-economic groups that will not be able to keep up with your child. You will be judged and naturally make others feel lacking. You are not to blame. You will also need to be very careful in academic settings. My son, who is now eight, was alwasy the brightest in his class. In a local private school he was bored and acted out. He lost a year of academics and lost his natural desire to be in school. My four year old is equally bright and I am trying to shield her from the ugliness of parents, peers, and teachers who do not understand that bright kids need to be challenged and not just patted on the head. Not every child can be a winner and I believe that our brightest students are being done a dis-service when our culture encourages equality - no winner and no losser. Keep up the good work, but be very careful, others would rather take you and your child down to their level rather then put in the hard work to raise their own game.

I think all kids are at different levels. My daughter was about like yours at that age. Some kids pick up things faster than others and most kids that have parents or a parent that works with them will be ahead of the others. I had a little girl in my 4 year old class that couldn't write her name. A couple months later she started writing it perfectly. When I told she she was doing a wonderful job she said "Thanks! My mom has been working with me at home."

So, in response to your question-Your daughter seems to be right in the average to above average range. Sounds like you are doing a great job, Mom, keep it up!

It sounds like we have twins. My son will be 4 in October too and your list sounds like exactly where he is. He does all the things you listed-- except he was later on the physical development. The other day mine started doing simple addition (anything up to 10, 3+8 totally threw him, lol.) She sounds bright, but totally normal. And, of course, first/only kids with lots of parental attention know more things by 3 than later kids or kids with less spoon-feeding. Who has time to have a "letter of the day" chalkboard when you have 4 running around?!?!?

You're having behavioral issues with her because she's 3. She's testing her limits and independence. Also totally normal. I think the "Toddler 411" book is a good book for understanding what's normal in the preschool set. Or maybe you want to get her involved in a preschool/ some other activity outside the home so you have a better context for her behaviors. Sounds like she need some socialization and learning to deal with others-- like all 3 year olds!

Good luck!

I believe that smart children ARE more difficult! My 2 year old is really smart and she has some major behavior issues at times. I think its frustration, they know so much but have such little bodies to deal with it all. She also doesn't like playing with kids her own age. Maybe just get her playing with a bigger age range of children, some older and see how she does with that.

I think she sounds normal but that is not a bad thing. It is great that you work with her and she loves learning new things. I say, just keep it up. I think "behavior issues" are just part of 3. I hear 4 is a lot easier :-)

She sounds a lot like my son. He was reading pretty well at 3, could do simple math etc. I think that a LOT of kids are SUPER smart at that age, but they tend to slow down a good deal later. Don't be suprised if you have a pretty "average" 6 year old you on your hands one day. I think a lot of kids are just so HUNGRY to learn they pack it all in earlier than some others.

I know my son ended up slowing down, which ended up being good for him. He can relate to his peers better, is easier to manage, etc. It was hard having such a smart cookie- parents are nasty to you(as it sounds like you're seeing), you have to THINK extra about everything, it ends up changing your perspective on your other children, etc. My younger son is more typical and I laugh now when I remember how hard it was to find a suitable preschool for my first. This guy I just signed him up for whatever knowing he would be fine. My oldest we ended up l looking at a million places and then in the end pulling him because it was a bad fit.

I would constantly look for ways to challenge and encourage her. Be sure you're praising the things she's DOING and not just her being "smart." For example "wow, you must have worked really hard to learn that, great!" Instead "Oh my gosh you're so smart!" Have fun with your little one!

My DD is also 3 and will be turning 4 in Oct too. :) Small world. Just to give you a comparison, meerly as a tool for you to show you what another kid the same age is doing, I'll let you know where my DD is at & you can go from there in deciding what you want to do with the info.

She can:
Count to 20
Read her #'s 1-9
Sing her ABC's
Read all 26 letters, uppercase & lowercase
Phonics for the first half of the alphabet (working on other half)
Spell her name (long name and short name)
Knows all colors
Knows all shapes (including odd ones like ovals & rectangles that are so much like circles & squares)
Knows opposites & similarities
Knows matching
Dresses herself (usually pretty decently)
Can zip her own coat start to finish with no help
She counts objects & can utilize basic math skills to solve a problem (such as adding & subtracting). However, she is unaware yet that 1+2=3 etc.... She just knows how to get it done. If I say you can have 3 cookies for dessert and she can only find 1 cookie, she will ask me for the other 2 specifically.
She can stack in order (I have her help me put dishes away & she knows how to stack the set of 4 plastic bowls)
She remembers everything at lightning speed and can remember & recite things to the letter from over a year ago
She knows her full address
Her age
Birthday
How old she'll be on her next birthday
Mine & her cousin's birthdays
Colors pretty decent inside the lines
Traces all of her letters but only freely writes about 5 or 6
She also has an immagination that just won't stop & I think it's wonderful. She loves to play characters (Princesses right now).
We have made sure, as she is an only child, that she has plenty of exposure to other kids and tons of play time with them. She plays great with others and understands what sharing means (and typically obeys the rules of sharing).
She has opinions on everything & willingly expresses them appropriately.
Her first language is English but knows pieces of Spanish (thank you Dora) and pieces of Korean (thank you Tae Kwon Do).
She does know some of the very basic beginings of martial arts (can't properly take a class until she's 4 but she's very excited)
She can throw & catch a ball with decent accuracy
Blow bubbles
Use scissors (child safety ones of course)
Pour her own drink without making a mess
Same for eating... little to no mess
Up & down steps with a left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot pattern

I hope this info kinda helps you out some. I agree with a lot of the other moms on here. There's no doubt your DD is bright. Prodigy? Eh, maybe not. But bright is wonderful. It sounds like the 1:1 time you have with her is paying off well. I would continue doing what you're doing. ...I don't know how kindergarten works where you live. Will you be putting her in K in August of 2012 or waiting until 2013? I'm going back & forth for my DD on what to do.... Feel free to PM me.

As for the behavior issues: I do not have any problems with my DD. Of course, she has her typical 3 year old moments but at the end of the day, she respects me and will do what I ask. She understands there are most definitley consequences for her actions (such as time out, grounding from favorite toys etc). I find, as hard as it is sometimes, you must must must follow through with your "punishment." Our typical routine is first a warning. Then a time out against the wall for a few minutes. No toys, TV, distractions or crying during this time. When it's over, we have a talk about why she's in time out. She has to apologize to me and the 3rd party (if it applies). Then we always end it with an "I love you", a hug and kiss. If she does the same offense again she'll either get grounded from her favorite toy for a day with reminders as to why she doesn't have the toy or I'll send her to bed for a little while.

Anyhoo..... sorry that was so long. I really wanted to give you a little insight to where we are at so you can make informed decisions. Much luck with your smarty pants!

Updated

My DD is also 3 and will be turning 4 in Oct too. :) Small world. Just to give you a comparison, meerly as a tool for you to show you what another kid the same age is doing, I'll let you know where my DD is at & you can go from there in deciding what you want to do with the info.

She can:
Count to 20
Read her #'s 1-9
Sing her ABC's
Read all 26 letters, uppercase & lowercase
Phonics for the first half of the alphabet (working on other half)
Spell her name (long name and short name)
Knows all colors
Knows all shapes (including odd ones like ovals & rectangles that are so much like circles & squares)
Knows opposites & similarities
Knows matching
Dresses herself (usually pretty decently)
Can zip her own coat start to finish with no help
She counts objects & can utilize basic math skills to solve a problem (such as adding & subtracting). However, she is unaware yet that 1+2=3 etc.... She just knows how to get it done. If I say you can have 3 cookies for dessert and she can only find 1 cookie, she will ask me for the other 2 specifically.
She can stack in order (I have her help me put dishes away & she knows how to stack the set of 4 plastic bowls)
She remembers everything at lightning speed and can remember & recite things to the letter from over a year ago
She knows her full address
Her age
Birthday
How old she'll be on her next birthday
Mine & her cousin's birthdays
Colors pretty decent inside the lines
Traces all of her letters but only freely writes about 5 or 6
She also has an immagination that just won't stop & I think it's wonderful. She loves to play characters (Princesses right now).
We have made sure, as she is an only child, that she has plenty of exposure to other kids and tons of play time with them. She plays great with others and understands what sharing means (and typically obeys the rules of sharing).
She has opinions on everything & willingly expresses them appropriately.
Her first language is English but knows pieces of Spanish (thank you Dora) and pieces of Korean (thank you Tae Kwon Do).
She does know some of the very basic beginings of martial arts (can't properly take a class until she's 4 but she's very excited)
She can throw & catch a ball with decent accuracy
Blow bubbles
Use scissors (child safety ones of course)
Pour her own drink without making a mess
Same for eating... little to no mess
Up & down steps with a left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot pattern

I hope this info kinda helps you out some. I agree with a lot of the other moms on here. There's no doubt your DD is bright. Prodigy? Eh, maybe not. But bright is wonderful. It sounds like the 1:1 time you have with her is paying off well. I would continue doing what you're doing. ...I don't know how kindergarten works where you live. Will you be putting her in K in August of 2012 or waiting until 2013? I'm going back & forth for my DD on what to do.... Feel free to PM me.

As for the behavior issues: I do not have any problems with my DD. Of course, she has her typical 3 year old moments but at the end of the day, she respects me and will do what I ask. She understands there are most definitley consequences for her actions (such as time out, grounding from favorite toys etc). I find, as hard as it is sometimes, you must must must follow through with your "punishment." Our typical routine is first a warning. Then a time out against the wall for a few minutes. No toys, TV, distractions or crying during this time. When it's over, we have a talk about why she's in time out. She has to apologize to me and the 3rd party (if it applies). Then we always end it with an "I love you", a hug and kiss. If she does the same offense again she'll either get grounded from her favorite toy for a day with reminders as to why she doesn't have the toy or I'll send her to bed for a little while.

Anyhoo..... sorry that was so long. I really wanted to give you a little insight to where we are at so you can make informed decisions. Much luck with your smarty pants!

Updated

My DD is also 3 and will be turning 4 in Oct too. :) Small world. Just to give you a comparison, meerly as a tool for you to show you what another kid the same age is doing, I'll let you know where my DD is at & you can go from there in deciding what you want to do with the info.

She can:
Count to 20
Read her #'s 1-9
Sing her ABC's
Read all 26 letters, uppercase & lowercase
Phonics for the first half of the alphabet (working on other half)
Spell her name (long name and short name)
Knows all colors
Knows all shapes (including odd ones like ovals & rectangles that are so much like circles & squares)
Knows opposites & similarities
Knows matching
Dresses herself (usually pretty decently)
Can zip her own coat start to finish with no help
She counts objects & can utilize basic math skills to solve a problem (such as adding & subtracting). However, she is unaware yet that 1+2=3 etc.... She just knows how to get it done. If I say you can have 3 cookies for dessert and she can only find 1 cookie, she will ask me for the other 2 specifically.
She can stack in order (I have her help me put dishes away & she knows how to stack the set of 4 plastic bowls)
She remembers everything at lightning speed and can remember & recite things to the letter from over a year ago
She knows her full address
Her age
Birthday
How old she'll be on her next birthday
Mine & her cousin's birthdays
Colors pretty decent inside the lines
Traces all of her letters but only freely writes about 5 or 6
She also has an immagination that just won't stop & I think it's wonderful. She loves to play characters (Princesses right now).
We have made sure, as she is an only child, that she has plenty of exposure to other kids and tons of play time with them. She plays great with others and understands what sharing means (and typically obeys the rules of sharing).
She has opinions on everything & willingly expresses them appropriately.
Her first language is English but knows pieces of Spanish (thank you Dora) and pieces of Korean (thank you Tae Kwon Do).
She does know some of the very basic beginings of martial arts (can't properly take a class until she's 4 but she's very excited)
She can throw & catch a ball with decent accuracy
Blow bubbles
Use scissors (child safety ones of course)
Pour her own drink without making a mess
Same for eating... little to no mess
Up & down steps with a left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot pattern

I hope this info kinda helps you out some. I agree with a lot of the other moms on here. There's no doubt your DD is bright. Prodigy? Eh, maybe not. But bright is wonderful. It sounds like the 1:1 time you have with her is paying off well. I would continue doing what you're doing. ...I don't know how kindergarten works where you live. Will you be putting her in K in August of 2012 or waiting until 2013? I'm going back & forth for my DD on what to do.... Feel free to PM me.

As for the behavior issues: I do not have any problems with my DD. Of course, she has her typical 3 year old moments but at the end of the day, she respects me and will do what I ask. She understands there are most definitley consequences for her actions (such as time out, grounding from favorite toys etc). I find, as hard as it is sometimes, you must must must follow through with your "punishment." Our typical routine is first a warning. Then a time out against the wall for a few minutes. No toys, TV, distractions or crying during this time. When it's over, we have a talk about why she's in time out. She has to apologize to me and the 3rd party (if it applies). Then we always end it with an "I love you", a hug and kiss. If she does the same offense again she'll either get grounded from her favorite toy for a day with reminders as to why she doesn't have the toy or I'll send her to bed for a little while.

Anyhoo..... sorry that was so long. I really wanted to give you a little insight to where we are at so you can make informed decisions. Much luck with your smarty pants!

Updated

My DD is also 3 and will be turning 4 in Oct too. :) Small world. Just to give you a comparison, meerly as a tool for you to show you what another kid the same age is doing, I'll let you know where my DD is at & you can go from there in deciding what you want to do with the info.

She can:
Count to 20
Read her #'s 1-9
Sing her ABC's
Read all 26 letters, uppercase & lowercase
Phonics for the first half of the alphabet (working on other half)
Spell her name (long name and short name)
Knows all colors
Knows all shapes (including odd ones like ovals & rectangles that are so much like circles & squares)
Knows opposites & similarities
Knows matching
Dresses herself (usually pretty decently)
Can zip her own coat start to finish with no help
She counts objects & can utilize basic math skills to solve a problem (such as adding & subtracting). However, she is unaware yet that 1+2=3 etc.... She just knows how to get it done. If I say you can have 3 cookies for dessert and she can only find 1 cookie, she will ask me for the other 2 specifically.
She can stack in order (I have her help me put dishes away & she knows how to stack the set of 4 plastic bowls)
She remembers everything at lightning speed and can remember & recite things to the letter from over a year ago
She knows her full address
Her age
Birthday
How old she'll be on her next birthday
Mine & her cousin's birthdays
Colors pretty decent inside the lines
Traces all of her letters but only freely writes about 5 or 6
She also has an immagination that just won't stop & I think it's wonderful. She loves to play characters (Princesses right now).
We have made sure, as she is an only child, that she has plenty of exposure to other kids and tons of play time with them. She plays great with others and understands what sharing means (and typically obeys the rules of sharing).
She has opinions on everything & willingly expresses them appropriately.
Her first language is English but knows pieces of Spanish (thank you Dora) and pieces of Korean (thank you Tae Kwon Do).
She does know some of the very basic beginings of martial arts (can't properly take a class until she's 4 but she's very excited)
She can throw & catch a ball with decent accuracy
Blow bubbles
Use scissors (child safety ones of course)
Pour her own drink without making a mess
Same for eating... little to no mess
Up & down steps with a left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot pattern

I hope this info kinda helps you out some. I agree with a lot of the other moms on here. There's no doubt your DD is bright. Prodigy? Eh, maybe not. But bright is wonderful. It sounds like the 1:1 time you have with her is paying off well. I would continue doing what you're doing. ...I don't know how kindergarten works where you live. Will you be putting her in K in August of 2012 or waiting until 2013? I'm going back & forth for my DD on what to do.... Feel free to PM me.

As for the behavior issues: I do not have any problems with my DD. Of course, she has her typical 3 year old moments but at the end of the day, she respects me and will do what I ask. She understands there are most definitley consequences for her actions (such as time out, grounding from favorite toys etc). I find, as hard as it is sometimes, you must must must follow through with your "punishment." Our typical routine is first a warning. Then a time out against the wall for a few minutes. No toys, TV, distractions or crying during this time. When it's over, we have a talk about why she's in time out. She has to apologize to me and the 3rd party (if it applies). Then we always end it with an "I love you", a hug and kiss. If she does the same offense again she'll either get grounded from her favorite toy for a day with reminders as to why she doesn't have the toy or I'll send her to bed for a little while.

Anyhoo..... sorry that was so long. I really wanted to give you a little insight to where we are at so you can make informed decisions. Much luck with your smarty pants!

J.,

At this age, it doesn't really matter whether she is ahead/behind or whatever. She's only 3!!! Most kids that age are absorbing much.

Find kids she connects with and let her play with those. My kids are both in the gifted program in their school, yet both of their best friends (who are awesome kids) will never be in the gifted program. It doesn't matter.

In time, your daughter's level of intelligence will become more apparent. They don't test kids for giftedness until 2nd or 3rd grade in my district. You have a long way to go.

Intelligence and behavior issues do not correlate. One of mine has been
difficult virtually every day since birth and the other one is incredibly easy.

Good luck and just enjoy your daughter for who she is.

Hi, J.:
What is the question? I am confused!
You say you have behavioral issues with your daughter?
What are they?
Just want to know.
D.

Updated

Hi, J.:
What is the question? I am confused!
You say you have behavioral issues with your daughter?
What are they?
Just want to know.
D.

Hi, J.:
What is the question? I am confused!
You say you have behavioral issues with your daughter?
What are they?
Just want to know.
D.