The School Want to Hold My Child Back in His 8 Grade

A lot depends on what kinds of warnings he, and you, had all year. Were you both given progress reports? Were you both aware of the consequences of continued failing grades and failure to turn in work? Was summer school discussed as a way to make up missed work and lessons? It's not just about testing - it's about handling the responsibilities of 8th grade. If he cannot handle those, he's not ready for the rigorous standards of high school.

Does he have a learning disability of some kind? Do you have an IEP? Does he need extra supports in some areas? Were those discussed, selected, implemented?

Or did your son know that there was a risk of not passing, and he ignored that? What consequences did he have all year long (from you, from the school) for failing to do his work? Did you make excuses for him? Do you have the ability to help him with his work, or should you have gotten him a tutor or some help through the guidance office? Usually there isn't just one person at fault in these situations - usually it's shared responsibility.

I would consider taking your son to the meeting. Start with the idea that everyone wants your son to succeed - he wants to succeed, you want him to, the school wants him to. But everyone - EVERYONE - has a job here and it only works if you all understand your role and don't just place blame on others.

Holding back is a wait for your son to have a "do-over" rather than go to high school with even more responsibility and fail at that. It's okay for him to learn the hard way that decisions have repercussions. He cannot continue to turn in work late and think that the school doesn't mean it that this is a requirement for passing. Hard lessons, yes. But sometimes kids have to be inconvenienced. High schools, colleges, and employers don't tolerate and excuse laziness and forgetfulness. Better that your son learn this now, buckle down with his studies, and stop doing whatever distracts him (computer, video games, friends, texting, whatever). Your job is to help him do what is necessary, not what he thinks he wants now. Sometimes that means making unpopular decisions but it's a good life lesson.

If he didn't pass the class, why didn't he go to summer school? At this point, I wouldn't really care what he wanted. Is it that he didn't care about the homework? Did he not do it or did he do it and forget to turn it in? My son thought Math homework was a waste of time. Kid should have gotten A's in Math and instead got C's.

Your son is very immature and needs to understand that homework is mandatory. HS is going to be that much more. He might need additional time to understand it.

I think passing him into high school when he hasn't shown the maturity/focus to stay on top of his assignments - and turn them in - is a very good reason to hold him back.
This is a possible consequence of his decision to not turn his work in on time..

He's had all of middle school to learn this - and he hasn't.
What would his diploma be worth if he's passed through grade after grade and not been able to turn in work with simple deadlines?

High school is more complicated than middle school - and college even more so.
Even trade/vocational school doesn't look favorably upon people who can't meet deadlines.
You think the armed forces would put up with it?
He'd be on permanent KP duty.
He needs to learn this if he's going to go anywhere unless you plan on having him live on your couch for the rest of his/your life.

If you think he has a reason - some learning disability - that needs addressing - then get it addressed/treated/medicated and have the school work with him with an IEP.
If he's just being lazy - being held back might be just what he needs.

You might be able to insist he get passed into 9th grade.
But it wouldn't be doing him any favors and you are going to have to have this same conversation with the school every year until he gets his act together.

I understand your son being devastated by this, and I'm sure the school gets it too. But if he couldn't get through 8th grade what makes you think he is prepared for 9th? You (and your son) need to be prepared to discuss this at the meeting.

As his mom, you have the right, and the opportunity, to insist that your son grows up to be the best person he can be. And along with knowing facts and how to do math problems, being a good student (and a good human being) means following certain rules, and having enough self-discipline to both do homework and turn it in on time.

If your son failed a class because he didn't turn his homework in on time, it shows that he doesn't have the organization skills and the self-discipline that he needs. And 9th grade is going to be much more demanding. There will be tougher classes, more homework. And high school students are expected to be much more independent than middle school students.

Of course your son doesn't want to be held back. He'll probably make lots of promises, like "mom, I'll do my homework on time next year". But he had that chance in 8th grade.

Holding him back might show him the importance of education. School isn't for socializing. It's for learning, and developing life skills.

Talk to the school, and most importantly, listen. Maybe the school staff will help your son to plan a way to be more organized, and to get his homework in. Maybe they'll give him a trial period, like the first semester of 9th grade. Or maybe they realize there is no way he's ready for high school.

And help him at home. Does he have chores and responsibilities? Does he do them on time, and do them properly? Is he respectful? Does he have a place to organize his homework, and a place to put homework due dates on a calendar or a board? Do you talk to him about his homework and his school grades? Helping him at home to learn the important skills of time management and getting things done and being reliable and trustworthy will also help him at school.

Take your son to the meeting. He should be mortified but this is the bed he has made and must sleep in.

I believe if he didn't pass math in 8th grade they should have required summer school if you are not wanting him retained. If he had passed the class and failed the STAAR test they would recommended retention too. Is this an IEP meeting or just a parent conference? If he's having a hard time turning in his work now it will get worst in high school. He may not be mature enough to go to high school. And if he's in public school in Arlington he will probably be just a number to them and they will be less apt to try to work with him. Those schools are huge.

you have the right to make your preferences known, for sure.

why does your son always hand his work in late?

turning work in late is not a reason for not learning.

you give no good reason why the professional educators at your son's school are wrong.

i hope that if you fight them you have better reasons than this.
khairete
S.