The Sex Talk - Fort Worth,TX

That person would not be my friend for one second longer. This is a huge betrayal to you. This is the most important conversation that a parent can have with a kid and no friend or school or doctor or anynoe else gets to decide when it takes place or how.

While she had no right to do that, you have the responsibility to make sure that he knows what's true and right. My DD knew at 8 what it was because her aunt and uncle were making out and she thought that that was sex. We just gave her the facts. Plain, simple, end of story. Adults do this, it's ok.

As a society, as a culture we must stop treating sex and discussions of it like it's some taboo, mysterious, off limits thing that kids shouldn't know about.

It's life, nature, reproduction. There is a reason they call it "The facts of life". By acting like it's this big secret we are allowing society to define sex and adult relationships for our children. I do not want a teen movie, fashion magazine, Rhianna song or "a friend of mine" to teach my kids about sexuality so my husband and I do it ourselves.

He's eight, I can imagine what he's already heard, PLENTY of misinformation I'm sure. Talk to him openly and honestly in an ongoing honest way or have your husband do it.

Please don't drop the ball on this one. I believe boys in particular are not getting enough information concerning sex, their bodies, relationships and their responsibilities in these areas. If you don't start now you're missing a huge opportunity in his development into a man.

I think 8 is actually bordering on being on the late side to know about intercourse (that is if its important to you to be the first one to talk with him about it). That said, your friend was so out of line, I would be livid! There would be words between me and my friend. That is a conversation I want control over!
Moving on though, yes of course he's curious. Do you remember being that age? Don't you remember how curious you were? Be glad he is directing his curious questions at you so you can give him more than just the mechanics and biology of sex. Rather, put sex into context for him.
I bought the book "the wonderful way babies are made" and i love how sex is put into a greater context of us being part of God's creation and the creating process. That making love is a gift from God, something he created to bring husband and wife joy for the rest of their lives.
No sense lamenting, the cats out of the bag. Now go do damage control. Don't hide behind the biology of it, kids are curious about the feelings and emotions involved. Tell him that its a beautiful way of expressing love between husband and wife, that it makes their bodies feel good all over. That its not dirty, but part of Gods design. If he doesn't get his questions answered from you, he will get a distorted view from peers (or perverse adults).
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I stand by my statement that 8 is on the older side. I was made well aware that most parents wait until 9 or 10 when I read book reviews while selecting a good "how babies are made" book. However, while parents wait until they think thier child is developmentally ready, they are hearing about sex from older siblings and classmates. My sisters told me what sex was when I was six. My husband has a similar story. My mother told me when I was 7 or 8- I acted like I didn't already know for her benefit. School age kids are hearing about sex because their peers and older siblings are talking about it. If parents want to stick their heads in the sand and wait until kids are 8, 9, or 10, just know that unless they are home schooled, they probably are going to hear it from someone besides you.

My daughter knew how babies were made when she was four, and that the act isn't nasty. She asked and I told her.

In all honesty, I believe 8 yrs old is a little on the older side to know the facts. Maybe your son is ready to know as many children that age are but you are not ready?

Rest assured, it is talked about at school among the boys, etc.

Yes, I would be upset if another parent discussed something that I would have preferred to do but........is it possible that this parent talked to them because they asked him about a fact? OR... Maybe this parent heard the boys discussing what I've heard kids discuss at school and he set them straight with the truth. When I hear this topic being discussed when I am teaching, I refer the subject to the guidance counselor so she can let parents know there needs to be a discussion at home or if she needs to have the discussion she can with parental permission.

I think you should be honest and make sure this child understands that sex is not dirty and nasty. If you can't convey that then get someone to talk to him who can because you do not want him growing up with the idea that sex, bodies, nudity, is nasty and dirty. That would be setting him up for issues WAY on down the line sexually.

Have his dad talk to him. Maybe he is embarrassed to talk to you.. some children are more comfortable with this type of talk with the other parent. Do whatever you can to help him understand that this is normal and a good part of life.

We kept our lines of communication way open and still do because I would much prefer my daughter to hear the truth from me than think what she hears from friends is the truth.

Best wishes... they grow up very fast and I agree that these topics should be discussed at home and not with other parents. Each family has their own balance of what they need to do and yes, the pther parent overstepped a boundary.

Move on and make sure you communicate with your child. It is a good sign that your son came to you....to talk about this. That is a positive!!

All super advice from these ladies. The one thing I will add that I learned form a parenting seminar on this subject is NEVER talk about it in terms of you and your husband. Kids find this very confusing and if you say "mommy and daddy do this. . ." it grosses kids out. I was told to speak more in generalities and ask your child "Well, what do you think" when they ask the question. That way you can fill in the blanks, dispell inacuracies and abate any fears, etc.
So just remember that books and other things are very helpful, but by not really asking your child what they want to know about you may overload him with more stuff he isn't ready to process.
(As I write this, I was thinking - having a baby - from a kids point of view is kind of gross. It is messy, bloody and gunky - that is ok for him to think that right now. He is 8. Reassure him he won't always think that way and it is ok to change his mind on this topic later and know you will have laid the groundwork for open dialouge with him!)
Good luck!

I would go to the library or book store and find a book about the facts as geared to a child and then read it together. Some books have a section with suggestions for parents on how to have a discussion. By having a book on which to focus you'll be more comfortable and you'll have kids' words to use.

It's important to share with him what you want him to know and to show him that this is not dirty. I'm wondering if your friend presented this in a way that implied it was dirty if not outright saying it was. You also don't know what all (s)he told him. Give him the facts from your viewpoint and in his language. Answer his question honestly but simply.

I would tell this friend that (s)he was out of line and that (s)he is to not discuss sex with your son. State your boundaries. I'd go so far as to say if this happens again they will not be able to spend time alone with your son. It is outrageous that an adult would think they have the right to do this.

I love the tips that Mary Flo has. She came to speak to our moms' group.
https://www.facebook.com/simpletruthsmaryflo
She has also spoken on the radio.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/Radio.aspx?ID=%7B03AE1E73...
She has a book and DVD out too. I have her book, but have not finished it.
:-p
Basically, just stick to the mechanics of it, like Manda F says. And that there is nothing gross about it. You can also say it's for married people and it's private. So, when it comes on TV, cover your eyes or change the channel.

I would be furious!! And yeah, most adults know this is inappropriate to speak about with children. Yikes.

And 8 is on the older side? Huh? No way.... No one I know had this talk with their kiddos until at least 10. Unless the kid is super curious and keeps asking. But you said your son was in no way ready, so you know your little guy. 8 is too young for you.

But, what to do now.... I like the idea of books from the library. He can read about what he already heard. This should answer some questions, and maybe bring up a few more. Be there to make sure the info he got is correct and what you want him to know. And be there to ask him if he has questions.

I think the only other thing to do is make sure he knows that this is something for when he is much older (insert whatever your family values are here), and that this is not anything bad, but is not to be talked about with others at school. If he talks to girls about this, depending on your area, he could get in a lot of trouble. Just let him know you are always available if he has questions.

I guess if nothing else, this has set a precedent and started an open dialogue with you. So maybe not all bad.

I guess I would want to know the context of the discussion. If the two boys were providing false information your friend may have been trying to correct them.
But by 8 most kids know the basics, I think. So I think it would depend on what information, exactly, your friend told him. If you had already had a conversation with him.... some kids like to ask other adults - to verify the info or to see if someone else has other stuff to say.

So I think you have a follow up conversation..... did he receive factually correct info? Then you can verify. You can also interject a lot of "when you are older......" to let him know that just like filing taxes or cooking dinner... there are things that are adult things and he doesn't have to worry about them now.

I was in fourth grade when my parents gave me the sex talk - only a little older than your son. I think it's a good time. If he's curious, answer his questions honestly.

I agree that you should get some books. I have one called It's not the Stork. It covers basically everything, and you can skip over certain things if you like. There is a section at the end that talks about all different kinds of families. When I read that to my daughter, I skipped over that part. She can find out about the two mommies or two daddies families a little later on. The book is a great reference and ice breaker. It helps when they have questions, to refer to the page in the book. Keep things very basic and matter-of-fact, and you'll get him straightened out.

I hope you told your friend that it was VERY wrong of him to address this issue with your son, and that he should never take it upon himself to educate someone else's child about things of that nature!