The Toddler and Her Beloved Bottle

Updated on March 16, 2007
N.D. asks from Glenview, IL
11 answers

Ok moms, here is one of those controversial questions that will surely bring a lot of 'tsk tsk' and tongue-waggers comments...

My 18 mos old is still on the bottle. I plan to discontinue her off it next month. I don't think it will be a problem for her overall, because she drinks water from the sippy cup throughout the day and with meals. At night, she will have a bottle, but I will brush her teeth afterwards. And, she doesn't rely on the bottle at night to fall asleep. She goes to sleep on her own in the crib.

It's the daytime naptime that I am concerned with. My babysitter gives her the bottle before her naptime and she falls asleep while drinking it, and sleeps for a full 3 hours. Now, if it were me putting her to naps, I would have trained her along ago how to fall asleep without the bottle. However, being that my babysitter is there 5 days a week with her, this is how she falls asleep in the daytime.

How can we make her sleep if there is no bottle? My babysitter does not believe in 'cry it out method' like I do (that is how I trained her to sleep at night for 12 hrs) so I don't know how she will make her sleep in the daytime now. I saw some Nuby sippy cups that look like a bottle (no handles) maybe I could try. Any suggestions/experiences?

For those moms who had had their child on the bottle this long as I had, did u notice any teeth damage? My little one's two front teeth seem to stick out a lot, and I'm wondering if it's because of the bottle.

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E.

answers from Chicago on

The day my children turned 12 month, I stopped the bottles cold turkey. They didn't seem to even care. We did transition with the Nuby sippy cups, bit only used them for about a month. I am always amazed that as parents we truly think our children are more attached to something than they actually are. We often create these attachments in our children. I freaked out about the bottle and thought my kids wouldn't sleep. They slept fine. I thought they would have a hard time transitioning out of the crib. Nope, all the stress was just me. They didn't even notice.

As far as the babysitter goes, it is important that the two of you work something out that both of you are comfortable with. She is the caregiver, and needs to be comfortable following through with the plan, but it doesn't have to fit her own mothering philosophy. After all, you are the mother and your decisions should followed through with.

Best of Luck.
E.

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C.

answers from Chicago on

I understand the bottle attachment thing. My 16 month son was VERY attached to his bottle. Our peds was very adament that he wanted him off of it by 15 months. It being his security in a big sense, I didn't want to stop cold turkey with him (though it was fine with my first because he wasn't so attached). Plus, I figured they say that breastfeeding is fine and good through 2 years old, so can it really be THAT bad going a little beyond 15 months with the bottle. He was done right around when he turned 16 months, a few weeks ago. So, what worked really well for us to break him of it gently was to put an ounce less in it each day until he really didn't care for it so much anymore...he didn't miss it after that. He could have as much as he wanted in a sippy cup with meals and snacks, but not in bed with him. I do have water sippy cups in bed with each of my kids. Allows them to drink when thirsty without the bad effects of milk on the teeth. Now, he really doesn't care about the bottle anymore...he just wants the drink from anything, doesn't matter what. He SEES bottles since I do home day care and one of the kids has the same kind of bottle, but doesn't lunge for them at first site anymore. :) He's just as well with a sippy. So to help your girl transition easier, you may want to do an ounce less of milk each day and instead of the babysitter leaving the bottle with her, leave a sippy of water with her so she still has something to hold and can take a sip if she wants without it being bad for her teeth and all.
I'd talk to the babysitter about doing the transition and tell her how it is that you really want it done, and maybe be open to her feedback on how it goes. She needs to be supportive of your parenting and you need to be comfortable with how your child is cared for. Like somebody else mentioned, I'd try to start the transition on a weekend, so you are starting it and can see how it goes initially and the babysitter has something to continue.
We used the Nuby's to transition my second son since he was so attached to the bottle. Honestly, I don't think it made him less attached to the bottle because it drinks like a sippy, not continuously like a bottle, if that makes sense. I'm kind of indifferent to them. It was nice to have the soft top originally, but they leak easily when the top is compressed(like bottles) and good for such a short period of time...then my son preferred regular sippies and I did too because he figured out how to leak it all over by compressing the top. Now we use them just for water once in a while.
I really don't think that her teeth sticking out is because of the bottle. She's only 18 months and 12-15 months is when they usually say to stop the bottle. She's not that far beyond. Plus, I think sucking a thumb or pacifier are more likely to affect the teeth in that way and those are OFTEN continued beyond 18 months. I'd doubt that they stick out because of the bottle. Maybe that's just how her baby teeth are meant to be. I don't know. You could ask the peds about it.
Best wishes to you!! Hope the ideas help!!

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have had such a variety of experiences with my six kids, all breast and bottle fed! My suggestion is to put only water in the bottle and it will eventually lose its appeal! When you get down to only one bottle in the house (OOPS) don't buy more! Then explain to your highly intelligent and functioning darling that the bottles are all gone!! You have no more!! Sorry a cup will have to do! Mommy and sitter love you soooo much! That is all the comfort you need, lovey!! :o)

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

It seems like this issue is less about your daughter and more about your care provider. I honestly think that your care provider should follow what you do with your child when you are at home. If you are letting her "cry it out" at night, then she needs to have the same experience during the day. It is confusing to children to have such a conflict between parents and a caregiver. I can relate, sometimes my husband and my way of dealing with my son doesn't match my Mom's, and she watches him for us while I work part-time. Although it is hard, I put my foot down with her and let her know how bad it is for my son when she "undoes" what we are trying to do with him. Surprisingly, when I explain how it can make things so much harder on my son (and us as parents), she usually listens. Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

My eldest son was on the bottle what seems like forever. But, he used that at his comfort object. When he saw his younger brother without one, he went without. Anyway, his teeth are fine. We had no problems with them at all. They didn't stick out at all. Now he has his big teeth in front and no problems there either. But, try and get your little girl off of it. Have the bb sitter not give it to her before naps.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I feel your pain. My son, also at 18 months..was very attached to his bottle. He got a cold, so I took the opportunity to wean since he couldn't have milk anyhow... when he went to bed he would ask for his "Ba" ..Bottle....I pretended like I thought he was asking for a Ball. I gave him a ball, and said, here you go, here's your Ball... he looked confused for a minute, but didn't fight me....now he can't go to sleep with out his ball! Try and replace the bottle with a snuggly toy, or something else your child loves!!

We've been bottle free for over a month now, woo hoo!

Good luck, hope this helps!

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Allow your child to go to bed with a water filled sippy cup. No bottle. If your daughter gets thirsty enough she will take a drink from the cup, she already knows how :) Good luck!!

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Do you take your child to a babysitter or a family daycare? I have been a family daycare provider for 17 years and first you have to remember your child is not the only child there!!! If your child is screaming for extended time for her bottle everyones nap is being disturbed. Maybe your provider and you can come up with a plan together. I have always asked the parents to begin at home over a long weekend. This usually works. I try to work with the parents as much as I can, but there are days I have 6 children here. It would be very diffcult if the parents wanted everything done differently. I hope you and your provider can work this out together.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

I can't help you with the bottle issue. My daughter was very easy and gave it up right at her first birthday. But I had to respond to your babysitter comments. What do you mean she doesn't believe in your parenting philosophy of cry it out? Seems to me that she works for you and if that method works for your family (as it does for ours no matter what the critics or other mother's say) then she should abide by your requests. In my experience letting the child cry it out for a couple days usually does the trick. She may not take a good nap and you may never get her down for 3 hours ever again but she'll be off that bottle and she WILL return to a normal napping schedule. I know it's defnitely no fun to listen to a little one cry but sometimes it's the best way to get them where you need them to be and ultimately it will be worth a couple of days of her crying and being crabby. I think either you need to take a week off work and get her past this or your sitter needs get on the same page with you and suck it up while your daughter makes this transition. I don't envy you this. We recently took my daughter's pacifier away and it was very very difficult the first few nights and even still she has some difficulty falling asleep but she's doing much better and we are well on our way to be completely over it! Good luck!

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K.T.

answers from Chicago on

As a Day Care provider myself I believe that I am employed by parents and whatever their wishes are should be abided by. It may take a couple of days/weeks for your child to calm down and break this routine however whether your babysitter believes in letting a child cry or not should not be part of the consideration. If the babysitter is not following your instructions and beliefs I would take time to reconsider your babysitter.
I wish you well....K.

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

If it makes you feel any better my youngest didn't give up her one a day bottle till she was 3 and finally I told her to go throw it in the garbage we were done with baby things she did
and never looked back.
I would just work on taking the bottle away on a weekend when you are around and on monday morning do not have any bottles around. And if the babysitter can't deal with that find a new one which is easier to say then do but remember you are the parent paying the sitter. Things should be done the way you say. And if you think your daughter is done with the bottle then take her off it if not give her a little longer and try again at another time but it is totally up to you.
Believe me she won't be drinking from a bottle when she is 30 if it is her one comfort go with the flow. If you are worried about her teeth have her checked at the dentist. My sons teeth were really bad because he sucked his thumb the dentist told him he had to stop sucking his thumb because it was hurting his teeth and I couldn't believe it but my son never sucked his thumb again go figure he had to hear it from someone other then me.

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