The Word "Sexy"

If this is what he ended up asking you, imagine what he already "thinks" he knows. If he is getting information on sex, I think it needs to come from you and not from his friends at school. Once that information has been given to him, it's harder for you to correct it. You may need to use a book as a guide but keep everything very age appropriate.

My daughter has been given the 3 year old version of this talk and the 4 year old version. She know's very "high-level" information. If she asks me in more detail I will only tell her what I think is appropriate. Basically, I tell her things that I think will keep her safe and that will let her know when she is being touched inappropriately. So I believe the sex talk can begin on many levels at any age but the earlier the better and like a house, you start with a good foundation and go from there.

I would definately talk to him about any questions he has regarding sex, or the difference between the sexes. You do not have to go into specific detail at this age yet, unless he asks. If you really want him to feel comfortable talking to you and getting correct info, instead of from friends that may not have the right information, then anytime he brings up the subject you two (and his dad) should sit down and answer his questions.

ABSOLUTELY, YES, it is time to give your son the straight facts!!! Who do you want him getting his sex education from-you, or other 5th grade boys? If you don't talk to him now, you are allowing other 5th grade boys be in control of what he learns about sex. Not good-time to have the anatomical discussion with your son. This will let him know you are open to the discussion and that he can come to you with anything. Don't make sex an uncomfortable topic for him. Lack of information from parents=more premarital sex and higher likelihood of becoming an "early parent"-look at the statistics. Don't let how uncomfortable this makes you feel now impact how he thinks about sex for the rest of his life.

Yes, please tell your son now. You really want him to know the facts from you & therefore know he can talk to you about it. If you don't talk to him, the other kids will & that will just be worse. Doesn't matter if you or your husband do it -- maybe both of you at different times. 1 do the talking & then later the other go in & say mom talked to you today about sex. I'm glad she told you, do you have any questions? That way he knows you both are willing to tell him the answers. Good luck.

Oh goodness! I dont think there is a set age when your supposed to tell your children. But unfortunately your son at age 8 needs to be filled in on the facts thanks to little mister know it all! I would let him know how it goes so hes curiosity doesnt get the best of him. And I dont think that your can stress more that sex is for adults and he shouldnt do anything like this until hes at least 35! lol. I dont think it matters who tells him, maybe do it together so he feels like he can talk to both of you about it. Geez Im almost giving home schooling a second thought! They grow up too fast!!! Good luck!

We bought a book entitled "How & When to Tell Your Kids About Sex." Basically, it encourages parents to have an open, honest dialogue from the very beginning, that is age-appropriate to the child. That way, the lines of communication are open, and the children won't hesitate to come to you with questions because they think the subject is taboo. We bought the companion books that are geared toward each age group, written for you to read with (or to) your child. The first one is "The Story of Me" for ages 3 to 5. The second is "Before I Was Born" for ages 5 to 8. The third is "What's the Big Deal?" for ages 8 to 11. This series is based on Christian principles, but if that's not your style, it still explains things in a very age-appropriate way (and for us, it took the fear out of broaching the subject).

I don't think there is an "age" rule really. I don't think you should start talking about it too young, of course, but if THEY bring it up, then it's absolutely the right time to talk to them about it. He's only 8, so you don't have to go in to a lot of the details, but you can tell him that what he described is called "sex" and that when two people love each other and get married, they have sex. I belive honesty is the best policy! My 15 year old wears a purity ring, which means she has vowed to herself and God that she won't have sex until she's married. She is in high school, which is really hard for her because she's very pretty so boys "chase" her a lot. BUT, once they find out she won't "put out" they go find someone who will. She's very open about her choice and I'm very proud of her. I know when boys look the other way it hurts her, but she just tells me that if he's like that, he's not for her anyway! I feel our open, honest relationship that we've always had has helped a great deal because she can always come talk to me about it!

So, I suggest talking to him about it. Children learn from us how to act in and about social situations, so if we talk open and honest about these types of issues and don't act embarrassed about them, they won't either.

Good luck with your little guy! God Bless!!

I think you need to open the lines of communication again. I'm afraid that the way you addressed this problem M. have given him the impression that you were uncomfortable with it and he might not come to you with important info later.

You need to get over your embarrassment and ask him what questions he has about what he asked you, that maybe he needed to talk more about it, maybe ask him what he thinks about what his friend told him, how does it make him feel and is there anything he needs to ask you about.

Let him know that it's a subject that he needed to be a little older for you to tell him, but since he knew something did he have any questions. I've found that if you are matter of fact about the subject they will find it easier to talk to you about everything.

I hate to be disrespectful to anyone but leaving the sex talk up to the school is stupid considering i'm 23 they didn't teach us about sex until like my sophomore year in highschool by which I had already had sex. Secondly if they are asking questions like that then yes I believe you should teach them a little more about sex so that they don't go and get information that may or may not be true from older kids. (i know from experience cause my parents never talked to me about it)

I would suggest both you and his dad work as a team and talk to him at the same time and simply explain that what the other kid was talking about was called sex and that is how babies are made. then ask if he has any questions. This would be a good time to talk about appropriate touching from adults and other kids. since the subject has already came up.

also on the previous note about the schools the ones around here don't do the details about the act of sex they just preach about the std's and not the act its self. also not every school seperates the boys from the girls either. I'm not trying to be mean about the subject but sometimes you have to do some research about the schools because in 5th grade the only thing they told us girls about was our period and the changes in our breasts.

so long as you can keep the communication open and honest between you and your boy then things will be easier later on.

I think you handled it very well and would leave it alone- he seems satisfied with the answer you gave. My daughter is the same age and I know we will have to have that talk soon but 8 is a little early. If your son comes back to you on the subject then you may not have a choice but I would not open the can yet if you don't have to!

Personally, I tell my daughter that there are intimate details about sex that she is just too young to know. I tell her that sex was created by God for husbands and wives that are married to each other. I don't just stress grown ups. But that's how I believe.

We homeschool so I always hope that none of the daycare kids will find a moment to fill my daughter in since I can't be in all places at all times. My daughter isn't exposed to as many kids as a public schooled child would be.

I think you should keep it rather simple if at all possible.

Suzi

I recently went through this with my 8 year old. And instead of sitting him down and giving him a blow by blow of what sex is, I sat him down and told him that if he had any questions about his body or anything else he could come ask us. I told him even if it is embaressing he could still ask, and that we would not be mad at him nor would he be in any trouble. After I finished explaining that to him I asked if he had any questions, he proceeded to ask me the answer to a math problem. At that I realized I took the correct approach. I'm not stupid, I know my son knows a lot more about things then he is leading on. However at this age I don't believe my son is mature enough to understand. Now each child is differant and matures differantly, so what could be ok for one may not be for another. At least this way the lines of communication is open between us, and he knows he can come to us at any time.
Good Luck!

Francesca I agree with the other posters and I wanted to say how impressive I thought it was that you asked for help and I was even more impressed by everyone's responses! When I was a 3rd grade teacher I experienced so many parents who avoided this subject like the plague even when their own children were curious and had questions and I'm happy to know that so many others out there are willing to talk about it! There are many people out there who don't want to or think it's appropriate to talk to children about sex and there is too much misinformation not to! Good luck!

My kids are 4 & 6 and I was having a conversation with a woman yesterday whose boys were in the 3rd & 4th grade in the local public school and she was telling me to brace myself that the girls locally were starting their periods in 3rd grade and she already had to have the sex talk with her boys because one of their classmates said they were having sex with a teacher (which they weren't...but the definition of sex definitely needed to be detailed for them to understand that it was beyond hugging, kissing and hand holding). When she had the discussion with her boys she told them it was between a man and woman instead of making it more personal with "mommy and daddy" because she didn't want them thinking in those terms.

Frankly, if the cat is out of the box, I think it's best to discuss it and let it go. Best to know they can come to you about topics and you will help them understand them without hiding facts or being jaded. If you hold back now, then they will just learn from someone else and may go to them next time instead of to you.

If he has already forgotten about it, then I wouldn't bring it up again...the SM School Dist. starts teaching human growth and development in 5th grade, so yes 10/11yr. olds. My son and daughter learned a lot without me having elaborate too much. Boys and girls are separated and each learns about their own gender.
In 6th grade the kids will learn even more information about sex, std's, aids...etc. by then they are 11/12 yr olds and able understand it better.
If your son keeps asking you questions and hearing things from others, then it probably would be a good idea for you to address the issue. Otherwise, he'll learn more in a few years.

Good Morning Francesca, I think now would be a good time to talk to your son. He is going to continue to hear the "Spin" from other children and you definitely want him having the correct information. You have already planted a starting place with the definition of "Sexy" and I thank you for that one personally. Boys need to know sometimes a lot more about their own bodies since their genitals are more visible to them. I learned this from my hubby as my mom was from the OLD school you don't talk of such things.
Like waking up with an erection, is normal for little guys too. *Laughing* Corbin our 4 yr old gr son is already amazed with that. He was in the shower with his baby brother and yelled MOM Look Mr Winkie Got BIG!!!

So how ever you handle this is I think a good time now. Hubby can do it if he feels lead to, or you can if you have a good talking relationship with your son.

God Bless you Francesca, I know with your heart and caring nature for your children it will turn out very well.

K. Nana of 5

When I was little and started coming home from school with information I'd gleaned from peers, my mom got a book down from the shelf and we read it together. The book is titled "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask*." It's an old book but I believe it's still in print. She didn't just sit down and start reading it like she was a professor teaching a class. She and I read the parts that applied to whatever the issue was that I'd brought up. She'd read what the book said and then she'd ask me what I thought of it. It opened a dialogue in which we both felt comfortable talking about sex and anatomy. As I got older and could read and understand the book on my own, I did read it by myself. Frequently I'd read something and then go ask Mom or Dad about it. I'm sure there were moments when both of them wished I'd never learned to speak or read, but they were good sports about some of the deeply personal questions I asked as I got older. Maybe this book will helpful to you and your children as well. Good luck.

Great advise moms, you are all so right on. my granddaughter is in 5th grade and I can't believe the things these girls talk about, but she is pretty open with me, and I am glad, just be sure to make yourself available for when they get home from school, because they hear stuff everyday, 5th grade is full of drama, and who said what about who, especially the girls, oh I take that back the boys also. Just be honest, they need to know they can trust what you say.

Unfortuantly the cat is out of the bag and he is curious enough that he came to you about it. I would go with your instinct on this one, talk to him!

My two last year had a very similar issue. My son was in 1st grade and daughter in 2nd at the time. I kept thinking "teachable moment, teachable moment" and got through the very basics. It was somewhat easier for me, I think, because we have show dogs that we breed & birth at home on occasion. So, they are more familar with where babies come from than most kids their age. But, I did get the expected "eeewwww!" from both of them when I said that mommies & daddies do that when they want to have babies too. Good luck!