Get a layered cut where they cut the layers underneath. This takes some of the weight out of the hair, and allows it to sit flatter. Otherwise, you end up with a mushroom head. The hair needs to taper at the end towards your face. Also. Speak with the stylist as to where you should carry the volume in your hair. It makes a difference, and certain places will be more flattering than others.
I have thick wavy hair, and lots of it. I prefer a pixie cut (picture Hallie Berry), or long enough to have in a pony. If I'm going to do an in between length, I make sure there's a lot of layering built in (picture Mrs Brady of the brady bunch).
I don't use an iron, or any styling products. I like the look of windblown locks. I don't even use a hair dryer. When you've got a good thing, why mess with it.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.