Thinking About Becoming a SAHM

Hi S.,
My name is A. and I live in Rincon, Ga. I have been married for 7 years and I am a mom of 3 and my youngest is 4 years old. I have been a SAHM for a year now. I am with an AWESOME company that allows me to set my schedule and work when I want and I get paid 50% commission. I usually work 5 nights a month and make over $1000. This company is Premier Designs Jewelry. I have made so many new friends and I have fun doing it. It is very simple to get in to and I would love to talk more with you about it. Call me at ###-###-####

What a wonderful accomplishment! Congratulations! I like www.flylady.net. It is a wonderful and supportive site that can be very helpful. (It is free.) I wish you the best.

hi S.,
i am a stay at home and loving it...i had worked outside the home for over 20 years...i have 4 girls, eldest 22, youngest 3...

i enjoy maintaining my home using the online flylady.net for organizing and routines...

i am an internet marketer now, but my favorite business is free to join and also benefits the "together we can change the world" foundation...
http://www.yourshoppingrebates.com

feel free to email me with any questions...
____@____.com

sincere blessings,
G.

Look in your local chapter of the Mom's Club (www.momsclub.org) . It is a support group for stay-at-home Moms. Many are mom who are new to the area, but many are like you new to staying at home. I had lived in this area for many years, but being at home is a whole new world with many different issues and problems than those of working outside the home moms. Also check the local library for daytime programs for the little one, you'll meet many sahm moms that way and it is great to network that way too. Good Luck!
V.

i haven't read anyone's responses, but all I can say is, I am so thankful for other SAHMs in my community!! we meet at playgrounds, have learning dates, go to the library for story time, meet for walks, other moms are my sanity and i love them for it. Join a mom's group if you need to. I try to meet up with my other mom's at least once a day, minus MAYBE one day a week. I love staying at home (well, i do watch my friend's kids and do some work for an internet business for a little extra money) but for the most part, it's just me and my toddler and newborn. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can't say though, I don't dream of time to myself every once in a while. So I take a bellydance class, a yoga class, and will be starting a pole dancing class next month. That way I have structured women time by myself. congrats!! it's such a blessing watch your children grow slowly.

I think you will truely enjoy it. There is no job I would rather have than a stay at home mom. There are so many perks. One of those perks is being able to be as busy as you want to be. So if for some reason you don't enjoy the SAHM thing at the beginning fill your day with more actvities. Go to the park, for walks, shopping, picking strawberries, swimming, plant flowers, go to a moms group. Sometimes when I don't feel super productive I will start a project at home like painting a book shelf, cleaning a cabinet, cooking a new meal, or stuff that you can see instant results from. I don't know if the help as far as the transition, but I think the key is a positive attitude and keeping busy.

There was a book written by Larry Burkett a number of years ago that was very helpful to a friend of mine. WHen Leaving the Work Place. I looked on Barnes and Noble and did not see it so it may be out of print. You could check with your library or search on line to find a source. It really looked at the finances of it and other astects too I think. The library could even have a copy. Sorry it won't be easy to get but from what my friend said quite worth it if you are interested.

By the way I have been a stay at home mom for over 21 years with only a few month stint that I worked at a cafe. I am self employed and love that. Don't get me wrong it can be a challenge at times for many reasons but I would not change it for the world and neither would me two grown sons. I still have 9 at home so the reinforcement of the two grown ones is really nice. I remember while working at the cafe thinking it was easier work than being at home. IT IS SO WORTH IT ALL!

Sincerley,

K.

I have a five year old son in pre-k and a daughter that is about to turn three at the end of June. I've been a stay at home mom from the very beginning because of all the problems my son had the day after birth so it's almost all I've known. We've always moved around because my husband is in the military and we've always managed to go to places that didn't have too many friendly people or kids. So I craved to go back to work but there was no sense in going to work just to pay for daycare. I didn't get involved with things outside my home... I was always there to play with the kids, educate them and take them places to experience things but I didn't do anything for myself. My advice for you is to make sure you still make time for yourself. My daughter takes FOREVER to get use to people so even trying to go to the gym was hard because she literally cried the whole time and I stopped going. It'll be different for the two year old too because he will not have the other kids at the daycare (if he was going to one) to play with and may bring up issues when he's bored. I spend allot of time playing with her on the swings and coloring and blowing bubbles while we wait for my son to come home. She's gotten independent and so sometimes I sit there with nothing to do because she's playing in her room and I've already cleaned the house. Don't want to become a couch potato. So I recommend a hobby or some type activity that takes you away from the house like gymboree or something. You'll have a great time and it's been awesome being able to watch my children grow and do some of the funniest things that I would have missed if I wasn't here. Good Luck!

How awsome is that! I say just let it go and PLAY with your kids! Especially since school will be out soon, if your six year old is in school, if not, go to the park, library, do at home crafts, color with them, read to them, take naps with them, ENJOY the fact that your are Mom and are there for their needs throughout the day. The bonding will become deeper as you get to know your children more personally through more daily interaction. It makes my heart sing to know you have this opportunity. Don't feel like you have to stick to some regimen, just live and love those gifts from the Lord!

My first piece of advice is ENJOY!!! Staying at home definitely has its challenges, but enjoy the little things that you may have missed along the way. Make sure you get out with friends during the day or do errands, etc. Don't stay home all day, every day kind of thing!! Connect with other SAHMs who are facing the same issues...it will be a place to connect and ask advice and encourage one another along the journey. Blessings to you!And I hope it works out. Have fun with your boys!

Hi S.!

Hooray for you and all your hard work. Here are some of the things that have worked for me or that I have learned the hard way the past 7 years:

Give yourself time to adjust to a completely different role. For me I was surprised at the conflicting feelings I felt and it took time to sort them all out and adjust to a new life. Even though I always knew I was going to stay home with my kids.

Have a daily/weekly routine with flexibility

Do whatever works best for you and your family and don't compare yourself to anyone else. All families are different and do things in different ways.

Use nap time for YOU.

Simple times together are often the best. Let your kids work alongside you while you do your housework, helping you or playing nearby.

Go for a walk and/or go outside every day if possible.

Rotate your kids toys so they aren't bored and you can bring new things when they tire of them. Have art supplies available.

Find other moms to connect with and help one another with childcare, home projects, etc.

Here's a great book that I like to read from time to time
What's a Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (out of print but so encouraging).

Remember to keep the long term perspective in mind when the days are stressful and crazy and exhausting. Many people can do the job you are leaving, but only you can do this one. And the season of little ones at home is short.

Keep a hidden stash of chocolate. :)

I think most people will tell you there are many plusses and minuses to both sides of the coin. I decided not to return to outside work when my son was born two years ago, and I am due with #2 in October. For the most part I've found it tremendously rewarding, but you need to be prepared for a few things. First off -even in 2008 when women are supposed to be able to choose whatever they want to do -you may be surprised at how many people seem to think you're of less value for some reason because you "don't work". Little do they know! Some will even come at you with the backhanded compliment of "How wonderful that you can stay at home with your children -so, I bet you get a lot of reading (knitting, crafts -whatever) done!" It's up to you to decide how to respond to those who seem to think you're now on permanent vacation. Some comments stem from jealousy and some from total cluelessness. I finally offered one friend who kept commenting that I must have tons of free time to read and relax the opportunity to watch my son for a day and a night to see how relaxing it was and how much time to read she had. She never took me up on it, but she got the message!

I also HIGHLY recommend that you find a playgroup or mom's group or something in your community so you can hook up with other stay-at-home parents. It really helps! I don't know if I would have stayed at home without our fantastic playgroup and parent's network in my neighborhood. AND, keep you and your little ones busy -trips to the zoo, aquarium, farms, playgrounds, children's museum, jumping bean -whatever -every week or few days -have an outing. AND PLEASE -don't forget about yourself! Join a YMCA where they have childcare or enroll the youngest in a once or twice a week preschool or mom's morning out program so you can still have some time to run certain errands on your own, use the bathroom by yourself and do something that makes YOU feel good about yourself. Like I said -I've enjoyed this so much more than I even ever imagined, but you do need support and time for yourself because no matter what anyone else thinks -good SAHMs work really hard!

I worked full time for years with kids, and was really happy when I became a SAHM. The only thing that bugged me was not getting out and socializing (for both me and my kids). I now work a flex job, which has helped all of us to get out of the house, meet new people, and spend a little time away from each other every now and again. My advice is just to find a routine that works for everyone in your family that includes a lot of daily or weekly activities so that no one gets bored. I am sure you will enjoy spending more time with your family, I know I have! Best of luck!

Hi
so many responses! I hope you can handle one more
congrats! the key to enjoy staying at home is to keep the kids busy, be happy and save/make money doing it and I am enjoying doing just that. I have my PPL biz 800-243-9187: Identity theft protection & legal services where my income is deposited daily. I am saving money with coupons and gas with ignite ###-###-#### call me if you want to save too, you can get paid just by referring those saving to others. Between a business activity and your kids activities you'll have a full fun schedule with no time for regret because your income and family will be balance. Please let me know how you are doing
Y.

Take it from someone who has always been a SAHM.It has it's benefits but it also has it's downside.At first you will love it but after awhile you tend to feel like your losing yourself and self worth,especially if you aren't doing anything BUT taking care of the kids and not doing any outside work.I say keep an open mind about part time work or volunteering.

have you thought about moving to part-time work? It might be a good transitioning move. Still a little income, still getting out of the house, but not taking over your life like full-time. I've worked 5-6 hours a week before just to pay for a house cleaner, so that I can spend more time with my family when we're all home together.

right now I've got little tiny ones, so I don't do much besides survive. once my babies get a little older, i would love to work at a garden nursery or florist <10 hours/week to learn more about my hobby, and have some extra cash for a pedicure or save up for a vacation.

plan on needing child-care (unless your kids are already in school), because there are still times you won't be able to take them with you (like a well-woman check up).

arrange for something to get you out of the house everyday, even for 30 minutes. congratulations on being able to make these choices for your family. you must have worked very hard to be at this point.

Absolutely enjoy every minute of it!!! It is a blessing to get to choose to stay home! There will be moments of overwhelm with them testing you... just take a breathe and remind yourself they are such a joy and how blessed you are to get to stay home!

Find something you enjoy! Carve out some time for you to do it!!! Make sure your DH understands that you will need some time to get away. It can be draining to be around the children ALL the time. You need to get away and have some fun too! My DH has to be reminded that I don't get to socialize at work, go to lunch and then come hoem and say I am so tired that I should be waited on!

I make soy candles and my daughter makes them with me. If that sounds like something you may enjoy, feel free to contact me or check out my website! www.candlewealth.com/soy4u

You may also get involved with a mommies group! I think that you can find one at www.atlantamommies.com

Have a blast!
C. Hiebel
www.candlewealth.com/soy4u
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The book the other poster mentioned is actually called "Women Leaving the Workplace." I read it during my maternity leave for baby #2. I quit when my son was 2 1/2 and baby #2 was born. I would recommend joining your local MOMS Club. www.momsclub.org. Also look into MOPS - Mothers of Preschoolers - they will have one more meeting this year then start again in Sept. Consider putting the 2 yo in preschool 2 days a week (9:30 to 1:30). Last, start listening to Dave Ramsey on 640 am, 3 to 7 pm, for financial advice and encouragement. Well, those are the things that helped me. Good for you for staying home! You will love it.

CONGRATULATIONS! Being a stay at home mom is a true blessing, joy, and challenge. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that YOU are the one molding and shaping your child more than anyone else.
I would encourage you to put yourself on a ROUTINE, not necessarily a schedule. We moms can tend to let a time line stress us out if we fall behind, making us impatient and unpleasant mommies. The fact that you have a son is is in school will give you a huge jump start on making a daily/weekly routine. I would also encourage you to "plug in" to the outside world; this is one part of work you will come to miss. Get involved in mom groups, such as MOPS (mothers of preschools), pick up an exercise class (baby boot camp, perhaps? a walking class for moms and their strollers), or commit to some volunteer work. You can pick something like a nursing home, which will be a great experience for your younger son. You can bake cookies together, draw pictures and take them there together!
And, finally, don't stress TOO much about a spic n span house. (This is hard for me!) If you do, you will miss out on your little ones growing up even though you were there the whole time!

This is a wonderful opportunity for you! But realize all opportunities have challenges. This will bring up some issues in your marriage that haven't come up before (who does what chores, how you feel about not getting pay check after all these years, etc.). So just be sure to talk with your husband about how you are feeling. Just because you are home more doesn't make it easier to get stuff done :o) Even good change comes with some stress, so just try to enjoy it and know that every job has good days and bad...luckily this one has lots of good ones! Remember if it isn't for you you can always go back. Good luck!

DONT DO IT! Just joking! I am so glad I am able to stay with my 3 year old son. Just make sure you make time for yourself. Its so important. Remember, you are a person too! Have fun!