Thinking Ahead...

Updated on July 04, 2008
A.D. asks from West River, MD
56 answers

Hi there!
I am a very happy mom to a 1 year old little girl and have started thinking about a second baby. My husband is on board, and we'll probably start trying later in the year once we have an idea where we'll be stationed a year from now. (Don't need to be in labor and moving the same week! LOL) SO, here's the "thinking ahead" part. My first labor and delivery was fairly easy...I labored for about 15 hours until about 7 cm then got my epidural (I probably could have made it longer, but the anesthesiologist was very busy and I had to get on the schedule for one if I wanted one at all!)and was textbook delivery (except for almost fainting on my way back from the bathroom due to low blood pressure once the epi wore off)
I can't figure out why, but for some reason, part of me really wants to try to have the next baby without an epidural or pain meds. Why? I don't know. I am a medical professional, and I am NOT masochistic, and I had a nice enjoyable delivery with the epi. What in the world is making me want to do it without pain relief? I know there are no medals for it! LOL I'd love to hear from others who have done it without meds, or who have tried and then decided to get the pain relief and why you decided what you did. I'm thinking for me that it might be the "marathon" thing...you do it just to see if you can. My husband is NOT supportive of it and thinks I'm crazy. We really don't even have to entertain the thought until I'm prego again, but I was just thinking about it tonight. Any thoughts?

Addendum:
I would feel most comfortable giving birth in a hospital, because as a PA, I've witnessed quite a few emergencies that could have been catastrophic if not in a hospital, but how do you get hospital staff on board with "no pain meds"? When I had my daughter, there were women laboring without meds, and after hours of listening to them screaming, we, and the nurses, were all rolling our eyes and wishing they'd change their minds. I couldn't figure out how they could yell so much for so long...I could barely catch my breath during contractions let alone scream!

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C.B.

answers from Topeka on

I had the epideral with my first child as well but I had them put a mirror up so that I could see the delivery. The second child, like you, I wanted to have without pain relief. For me, I think it was for several reasons: 1. A different experience than the 1st child, 2. Prove to myself I was tough enough, 3. Stengthen the bond with baby knowing what I went through to get him here, and 4. SAW the 1st delivery and wanted to FEEL the 2nd one.

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M.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, I have had two children. The first with and the second without. I would have to say that I enjoyed my second birthing experience with the epideral much more. I wasn't concentrating on trying to breath and worrying about the next contraction coming. It's just was nice to be able to talk and laugh with my husband, instead crying and screaming. If I could do it over again I would have went with the epideral with the first one. I actually didn't have time to get one with the first one. I would just keep the option of the epideral open when you are making plans. I just know that I rather not be in pain if I don't have to be.

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P.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I had both my babies without epidural or pain meds. It wasn't bad but I also had both within about 2 hours of going into labor. It's worth a try & if you end up needing them, fine. You can at least say to yourself you tried. Good luck.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I think if you want to try it without pain medicine, go for it. Just think of all the women in the old days who never had the option of pain meds. Not sure if I would tell the Dr.'s you don't want it AT ALL... but I would tell them you want to try to go as long as you can without. Women are capable of much more than MEN or DOCTORS give us credit for!! Good luck to you!

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V.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I had 2 natural births and wouldn't have it any other way. I highly encourage women who are "thinking about it" to GO FOR IT! Start out by reading books that are 100% supportive of natural births. I recommend The Birth Book by Dr. Sears; A Good Birth, A Safe Birth by Ina Mae Gaskin and any books about the Bradley Method that you can find. I did not use the Bradley method with my first and I really wish I had. My second labor went much more smoothly using the relaxation techniques the Bradley method teaches.

You are not a masochist for wanting to try a natural birth. You are a woman who is open to a new experience! The biggest reason that I chose natural births was because I'd done my homework, so to speak. I read a lot of things about the benefits of natural birth and felt it was the best choice for me. I had a supportive husband and a great OB who was totally on board with giving me the opportunity to do things my way.

I don't want to scare you, but my first labor went for 29 hours! My son was positioned posterior, which was rather painful, and he was working on turning himself around as I labored. However, my second labor went just 9 hours and was much easier. Every labor, of course, if different, but in general the second one doesn't last as long as the first so if you're well prepared, you should be able to get through it just fine. You'll be amazed at how exhilirated you feel afterwards!

The best advice I can give you is to READ, READ, READ up on the subject so that you can pass information on to your husband and your practitioner. Give them your reasons for wanting to try this and ask for their support. Also, instead of "trying" to have a natural birth, tell yourself and anyone who asks that you "WILL" have a natural birth. You'd be surprised how much that positive thinking will influence you in the moment. Good luck!

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C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

I had all three of boys with no pain meds. The nice thing was that I did not have to wait for the drugs to wear off. I was fully in control and remember everything that was going on. My labors were all quick. My mom was so scared when she had me and back then they would knock you out completely regardless of natural or ceaserean birth. Mom does not remember anything of her time in the hospital. She did not even feed me until she went home. Then she had my brother and nearly delivered him in the elavator on the way up to the hospital room. My dad had to move the car because he parked where the ambulances do. When he got to the delivery area my brother had been born already. Mom said she told them that she wanted something for the pain. The doctor said she was to far along for anything. She did not even get an IV until about 12 hours after he was born. (She had blood pressure issues and needed IV meds) She said that if she ever had another baby she would do it the same way. She was able to do normal things after he was born during her hospital stay versus waiting for the effects of the drugs to wear off.Good Luck with your future family!

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I had a cesarean for unknown breech with my first and a natural unmedicated VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean)when I was 39 with my second. I personally would recommend a natural birth for all the reasons that writers have already listed.

To help with this I would recommend the following:
*educate yourself and your husband; take Bradley, watch birth films together, read birth stories, etc.
*Choose a care provider and birth setting very carefully. Some care providers say they are naturally minded but practice to the contrary. Find a care provider with low intervention rates - low cesarean rate and low rates of induction. Inductions are often used in circumstances that are not medically indicated. Women find the contractions are longer and more painful thus creating more of a need for an epidural. Inductions are also harder on the baby. Homebirths are an option but you can have a natural birth at a hospital with the right care provider. Women have also traveled several hours from our area to go to the birth center in Columbia, MO. They have had great experiences there, as well.
*Stay at home as long as possible if you choose a hospital setting.
* hire a doula. Doulas can help with comfort measures during labor. They are an extra pair of hands. They don't take the place of your husband but help supplement what he does. Many will also come to your house and labor with you at home.
*Keep active. Yoga is great for building stamina and mental and physical endurance.
*Be aware of how the position of the baby can affect your labor. Educate yourself on how what you do affects a baby's position. Some women find their labors are more painful due to the position of the baby. A bad position can also make labor slower. Some women have been helped with chiropractors. Doulas can help with positioning during labor.

Good luck

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Okay, I read other responses before writing mine. Only to say - plenty of good advise. It is a bummer that a husband or doctor would not be on board with whatever your decision ia - as you're the one laboring and birthing the baby! I can't imagine a husband discouraging birth for any reason outside of fear and education is the best remedy for that. Reading Husband Coached Birth (bradley book), Pushed, A Thinking Womans Guide to a Better Birth are some good starting places. Some people said there was really no difference but I have had three naturally so far and will shortly have a fourth and I would not trade natural child birth for anything. Joining a supportive midwifery group would be a great source of information and preparation. I hear birthing naturally in our area hospitals is very difficult. You do need to have freedom to follow your body \ baby's lead not restricted to your back or whatever someone else has decided is "best". I don't choose to have that fight during labor so I don't choose hospital births but it should be possible with a good doula or two! :) Best wishes. Here in MO there are local Friends of Missouri Midwives meetings monthly - look them up online! Have a blessed day.

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J.A.

answers from St. Louis on

I had my daughter naturally. I didn't even consider having an epi. My entire family, including my mom and grandmother, have had their babies at home, so that's what I did, with the same doctor that delivered me. I also work in the medical profession, and have witnessed many epi births, and have known people to do both. From what I can tell, most epidurals are given after the most painful part is over, or almost over (dilation). Every person has to make the decision for themself and it may change along the way. Giving birth is one of those times when we no longer have control, we all deal with it differently.
I would just like to note that I am in no way a masochist, having a baby naturally is by no means masochistic, and I sort of take offense to your alluding to it being so. It's a naturall process that doesn't need to involve pain meds.

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S.T.

answers from St. Louis on

I had wanted to go all natural with my son. My husband and I took Bradley classes, and we did perineal massage to prepare for the birthing process as well. Well, I got stuck at 6 centimeters for hours and hours, so I ended up with the epidural. Needless to say my epidural wore off and ended up not working at all. So my actual delivery was "all natural". From my experience, the crowning and delivery of the baby didn't even hurt. I guess you can attribute that to endorphins and all that good stuff. Labor is the only painful part. If you can get through that you're GOLDEN! I say go for it. Since I could feel everything when I was pushing it only took 6 minutes and he was out. My doctor didn't even make it in time. My nurse delivered our son. Overall, a great experience. With our next I'm going to try to go natural again.

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T.Z.

answers from Topeka on

I chose to go to a freestanding birth center to avoid being in a hospital. I hate hospitals and they tense me up, which is counterproductive during labor. At the birth center I chose there is no option for pain relief, which I did not mind at all. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It offers a totally different perspective on birth than what we've grown up with. I am pregnant again and am planning on going to the same birth center. I do not want drugs or interventions because I had such a great experience with my first. The only part that was very difficult for me were the last two contractions of transition when I suddenly and forcefully dilated the last 2 cm. Then I was pushing and my baby was out. I would highly recommend making sure that you can be mobile throughout your labor. Being unable to move makes things more painful. You need to be able find a comfortable position and that may change from contraction to contraction. Also, try not to labor on your back. It just felt so wrong to me. I preferred to be upright, walking, squatting, kneeling or sitting on a birth ball.

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M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I gave birth naturally to our son last August, and fully plan on having natural childbirths with all of our other children. My recovery rate was extremely quick, and he had no issues in learning how to breastfeed, which was/is important to me. The pain was very difficult for a while, but I am fully convinced that I owe it to my children to introduce them into the world without being drugged. The pain medication doesn't just affect the mother!

That being said, I will not attempt to have a natural childbirth with the assistance of a doula. In my particular situation, I am almost positive that the doctor would have convinced me to use pitocin, which would have resulted in a C-section since my son was not in the correct position. Instead, my doula helped get him moved to the correct position and she was a nice buffer between me and the nurses and doctors. When the nurse came in and said, "I'm concerned that his blood pressure is too low," I didn't have to even think about it because my doula (who used to be a labor and delivery nurse) really knows when the blood pressure is too low.

I certainly did not receive a medal, and I do not love my son any more than anyone else. But childbirth pain shouldn't necessarily be something to run away from. Feel free to email me (____@____.com) if you would like any more information about doulas.

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

Hi A.!

Congratulations on your beautiful little girl. :} From what you've said, it seems like you've already made it through most of your labor without any intervention, so no, I don't think you're crazy for wanting to go natural. I did it with both my boys and never regretted it.

My advice is to be prepared for all options. Even though I'm terrified of needles, I still signed the paperwork for the anesthesiologist in case I decided I needed an epidural. As I'm sure you know, the epi can slow down the last part of labor, so you may have only had 45 minutes or less left if you had gone natural with your fist. With my second, I went from 4+cm to 10cm and ready to push in about 50 minutes. If you want to give it a try, go for it. Tell your husband to get on board and support whatever you want to do (he may like the back-up plan!) as you are the one giving birth. :}

If you'd like to talk more, please email me and I can share all the gory details with you, ha! ____@____.com.

S.

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D.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I planned on the epidural from the day I found out I was pregnant! But, I went to the childbirth classes anyway, mostly for the "how to tell if you're in labor" part. They covered a lot of pain management techniques for natural childbirth and I dutifully took notes, just in case. Man, was I glad I did! I went into labor 3 weeks early when my water broke at home. I was in a lot of pain from the very beginning. I used some of what I learned in class to hold off until the anesthesiologist arrived. Well, after FOUR separate epidural injections, my body simply still didn't respond to the medicine. I was going to have to do it the old-fashioned way. The breathing techniques were very good to know. It hurt, but towards the end, I was given some Stadol to take the edge off and that sort of dulled my mind to not quite know what was going on. It was good, but also kind of bad b/c I was no longer really in the moment. My OB also did some great numbing below and that was invaluable. In the end, I had my lovely boy and the thought that I may never respond to epidurals and always have to go natural hasn't scared me off from thinking of having another!

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

I thought I was a planner! I'm not going to advise you to use or not use pain meds. My advice is to remember that no two pregnancies/deliveries are the same. Just keep your options open. You may want to give some thought as to under what circumstances you would go to pain meds. You may experience more/less pain the next time. Your labor may be quicker/longer. If you're more tired and the pain is sapping too much energy before the birth, you may want to consider pain meds. I'm not sure you should set in stone one way or the other. Go with the flow?!

Kudos for caring for the retired grayhounds.

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S.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A.. I had all 4 of my children naturally with no pain meds. I was fortunate to have fairly short labors...the longest was about 9 hours...shortest less than 3 hours. None of them really hurt until my water broke, then the contractions got serious, but always delivered within an hour of my water breaking. I'm a big chicken when it comes to needles, so the epidural was scarier to me than the actual childbirth! ha ha I'm not going to lie...it did hurt when it was time for them to be delivered, but once they put the baby in my arms the pain seemed to melt away. Everyone is different though and not all women have "child-bearing hips" like I do, so I'm not going to preach to you about how you should do it. You just have to do what's comfortable for you. I told the nurses upon check-in that I didn't want an epidural and they never bugged me about it, so you just have to be clear and firm on what YOU want and don't let others make the decision for you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

If you want to go natural then all means do so it's not that bad and you forget about the pain.I had 2 delivers naturally my son water broke 6Am went to hospital labored he came so fast the Dr. wasn't even in the room yet 3 pushes he was here 6 hrs.And it was worth it my pain seemed to be a little bit more that menstural cramps and I had some bad ones in my lifetime.My 2nd girl samething water broke in bed went to hospital and need I say I had to ask my husband where he was going cause he missed the hospital he was going to drop our son off at gmas house well nono she was on the way 21/2 hrs later she was here.My birth experience was wonderful and natural and will do it again.It is your choice.Sahm of 2 kiddos

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A.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I know if I were to have a third baby I would do it w/o pain meds. My second delivery went so fast. I dialated from 4 to 10 in one hour and was having hard contactions while I was getting my epi. The second baby only took two pushes. I made it through all of the pain w/o the epi kicking in. It is doable and not as bad as I thought it was. (I was induced with both children) Good luck!!!

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

I had my first with an epi and end it up was a UTI from the cathider. I was told not cath, no epi. So I went without with my second. I found that by the time the pain was that intense that I was thinking pain killers would be nice about now it was time to push and almost over. I'm glad I went without because there was no worry of side effect (my sister ended up loosing spinal fluid and got a headache with her epi.) I once the birth is over the pain is gone and you don't have to wait for anything to wear off before you can walk.

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B.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I had both kids with out epi, first one I had some intravenus stuff, but not much, second none. I just talked with my doc several times and once I got to the hospital I told my nurse that I wanted to do natural. They were all really cool about it. Best wishes to you! It's was a very empowering experience for me.

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E.K.

answers from Wichita on

I would say try it. I wanted to, but got scared and got the epidural and regret it. Like you said there is no medal for it, but you do get to feel good about your decision and ability to handle the pain.

I had to be induced with both of my children. With my first child I was in labor for 12 hour, not hard labor but I think I needed the epidural. With my second I was labor for 6 hours. They started the poticen (sp?) and let me sit, then broke my water and I started to feel the contractions and I had my baby 1 hour later. Well about 15 minutes after my water was broken I chickened out and got the epidural. 10 minutes after it was in, I pushed 4 times and she was out. The epidural kicked in really fast so I was numb down there.

I know I could have gone without it and it upsets me to think I did not have the confidence in myself. When I got the epidural I said to myself, better get it now before its too late. So I would definitely try without. Just tell yourself you CAN do it and I believe you can.

Good luck with baby number two!

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M.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,

One more story...I had my first child (A.) with an epidural because the doctor wasn't available at the time I was ready and made me wait so much that I couldn't hold it unless they gave me the epi, they did and the contractions slowed down and then they gave me pitocyn (spelling?) to speed them up again and to make a long...long... story shorter, it was a very long delivery that ended with my baby with anibiotics because she was so stressed that they thought she might have an infection! (I found that later) It was the worst week of my life, I didn't even know if my first baby was going to live....it was bad for me, not only it slowed the contractions but since I couldn't feel when I was pushing as well as you should without the epi, I end up with hemorroids! (one of the worst things you can get) I was in pain for over a year because of that an I thought it was because of the episiotomy....
My second one, I reached the clinic late:) too late for anything! The best thing I ever done!!!!LOL I had my daughter in 15 minutes (or about) got up and went to the bathroom without any pain and didn't even take pain killers the day after, no pain after that ever, I recoup and regain all my energy back in less than a month.
It took me a year to recoup with all the pains I had with the first one.
Now, the bad part, for those 15 minutes....it hurts like you can't explain, it is like you think you are going to die of pain if you don't faint before or that you are not going to make it because you just can't! I didn't scream....I don't think I could, I did cry, silent cry...but it happend so fast and I felt soo good after that....YES! I would do it again!:)
I do think that it deppends on the individual, some people had their kids without much pain other with a lot, but in my case I know it was bad because the nurses that were around me were saying poor thing....those contractions are soo strong!(they were watching the monitor and the contractions were actually going higher than the chart)...
And kept asking if I was alright and trying to confort me, they told me that they were very strong contactions, so they knew they were hurting bad...
They were nice....(the nurses):)
I have to confess that I told my husband that if there was an other one, he will have to make sure I arrived on time for the epi....but that was in one of the 15 minutes, after that I have to say that I enjoy it more and was able to hold my baby without pain and happy. I wanted to go home right away....they didn't let me:( But everything turn out great! And the bill was much less expensive:)
Hope it helps,
Mariana

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A.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I've had all 4 of my children without epidurals. That's also my plan with the one I'm having now. The only thing that I've ever had, is a little pain medicine put into my IV. I was always terrified to have an epi for fear I would be the 1 in 1 million where something goes wrong.:( I wouldn't change a thing the way I've done it. Why does your husband think you're crazy? If it's something that you want to try, he should support you 100%.

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J.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,

I have had three children without any epidural or pain meds. My labor and deliveries were pretty short so I don't know if my input would help. The first was 6 1/2 hours, second was 4 1/2 hours and third was 4 hours. My reason for not getting an epidural was that I was very nervous about messing with my spine. You know I read or heard all of the horror stories about what could go wrong or the side effects and it wasn't worth it for me. I also can't stand getting the IV placed and hate having it stay in for even as short as it does. Well, back to the deliveries. It does hurt, and a lot, but you can manage it. I tend to focus on myself and get quiet when I'm in pain. So I was pretty nice to my husband in the delivery room. So you can start out the delivery without anything but I always had the option of pain meds if I needed it. I think I did have something like a muscle relaxer with my second delivery but I didn't like how it made me feel. It didn't do anything for the pain and I was really drowsy and hot. It is pretty amazing though that your are in so much pain and then once the baby is born, it's over. The last thing I'm going to say is that you know your body best. You get to know your body so well during pregnancy that you (and your doctor, too) can make the best decision when the time comes. Women have been having children for a long time without any pain help. If you want to try, go for it. Best wishes!

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E.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I did have an all natural birth in a hospital and they were aware of my plans ahead of time. It went really well and I will never forget the actual sensation of giving birth. Adrenaline does kick in with a natural birth and you feel great after that sets in. My baby was very alert right after delivery and my OB and nurses said that was the first natural labor and delivery they had actually seen. The Dr. even said he couldn't help thinking that maybe they were going the wrong direction with all the meds they use. I am in no way one of those crazy ladies who was so adamant about natural birth and I don't want to push it on anyone, but I just felt that my body would know what to do.

I was one week late and my baby was 10 lbs 6 oz. If you decide to go natural please labor for a while at home (my water broke after having contractions all day, I ate a snack and went to the hospital) and rest at the beginning. When things get more intense keep moving. We took the stairs to labor and delivery. I think moving is very benefitial in getting things going. Once I got to the hospital they would only let me stand next to the bed until it was time to push.

I did not want an epidural, induction, anything because I feel like one things leads to another, to another, but I definitely wanted to be in a hospital because if something went wrong I wanted that safety net.

Congrats on your first and good luck with your second. Remember whatever route you go you still have a beautiful baby.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Why not? ;)

You've gotten some great responses and lots of good advice. There are lots of pros to at least giving natural child birth a good try and not too many cons. I just had a medicine-free childbirth and hope to do it again many many times. I gave birth in a hospital here and didn't scream or scare any nurses. lol. :) I had a birth plan and supportive people around me. My doctor was on board and very patient and it was a beautiful experience.

If you need to chat with someone personally about it or be directed to some links of mine that I can't post here, just pm me!

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K.K.

answers from St. Louis on

I delivered my baby without pain meds. She is 5 now. I will tell you that there were a few minutes where I didn't think I could stand it, but that was the transition (in hind sight) and she transitioned FAST, which I think made it more breathtaking! I will say that when she was born and still to this day - I always think, "man that was NOTHING compared to what everyone told me it was going to be for 30 years!!" I couldn't belive she was born, that she was out and I wasn't like near death with pain..... :-)

So, my advice would be to put a little more umph in to learning the breathing techniques. They really work. Yes, I do understand the contractions coming fast and hard and not feeling that you can catch your breath...but it really does work. I had to have an epeasiotimy (spelled wrong, sorry), so I had a local right before they snipped, but I had torn a little first. Really, wasn't as bad as that sounds either.

Also, my doc reccommended the kiegel exercises to put muscles where you need them - and I did that, so not sure if it makes a diff. I also participated in water areobics my entire pregnancy, which she said would also help with delivery.

Even so, I really had a perfect delivery, my water broke at 5 AM and she was born at 8 PM. Half an hour later, I told the nurse I had to go potty and she said ok and was working,so I got up and was half way across a very long room when she saw me and 'panic' came after me. I guess I wasn't supposed to be up and walking, but I was fine.

Baby and I were both active and alert. I would reccommend it, if you prepare more for no epidural, you might be able to make it all the way! But, if in the end, you get one, hey, you gave it a shot!

I'm a whimp, I thought I would get an epidural the minute I found out I was pregnant, but the possible side effects (which we learned about in baby classes at the hospital) did me in. I went in saying, "I want to have this baby without an epidural if I can".

Now, I can kinda brag.... :-)

Best of luck to you and just know that when I thought I couldn't take it, she was born in less than 10 minutes from then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I would have been so mad had I gotten something and had her seconds later!!!!!!!)

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I have 2 girls. With my first, I got half a dose of nubane shortly before delivery and did the second without pain meds (I asked right before I delivered, but they said it was time to push, so that was fine.) My philosophy with both was to go into labor open minded. If you take it one contraction at a time and don't force pre-conceived notions on yourself (I definitely will or won't have pain meds), I think you'll be more satisfied with the outcome.

I think you're right about the marathon thing-- I definitely feel a great sense of accomplishment at having delivered (almost) two times with only my inner strength for pain management. I really have a sense that I can get through anything now-- if you can deliver two babies without a lot of meds, you can handle anything, right?

BTW, my deliveries weren't especially fast-- 14 hrs for first and 19 hrs for second. But you just take it one contraction at a time and it really does go quickly.

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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi! I had my first one without medication & the experience was wonderful. Exhausting & intense labor, but (it may sound weird) it was neat to feel the baby drop into position & to be connected with the birthing process. I could feel the entire birthing process & once you get through the labor the birthing is easy & natural. With my second one I got an epidural when I was dilated to 9 because I was getting my tubes tied afterward & they failed to tell me until I was dilated to about 8 that I would have to have an epidural or come back 6 weeks after the baby because they couldn't put a postpartum woman out. Talk about a bad time be trying to make a decision LOL...I finally gave in because I hate hospitals & I knew I would not come back in 6 weeks (I have horrible veins, so they use me for a pincushion) Anyways, my birthing experience with the first one was great & I say if you want to try it go for it. You made it to 7 before & only went for one because t was now or never. Good luck & I don't think you will regret your decision.

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J.N.

answers from Joplin on

I didn't have an epidural with either of my children. With my first one I was given Demerol and that really did nothing. With my second one I was given Stadol and that helped quite a bit. I am kinda wimpy when it comes to needles, so that was why I wouldn't do the epi. While labor was uncomfortable it wasn't that bad. I have heard Moms say that if you are given pitocin you definitely would want an epi, but I was fortunate enough with both of my children to not have to have that. Anyways, when the nurses at my Dr's office asked me what my plan was and I told them, they didn't act like I was crazy. They obviously left the option open and that was that. I do not think that you are crazy by any means for wanting to do it without. Best of luck.

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A.H.

answers from Kansas City on

GO FOR IT!!!!!!!
I was so looking forward to my first delivery but I was barely 18 so they forced meds on me. They gave me Demoral and I don't remember any of it. I didn't even hold my son until the next morning. I remember asking if he was healthy and when they said yes I said I would hold him tomorrow I was so tired. With my second I just had to not have that happen again. Both deliveries were fairly short compared to alot of women I know. I remember everything about the second and have issues of missing out on my first who is now 15! I know the epi's are just local but being involved is such a wonderful experience. I applaud you for wanting to do it naturally and hope you go through with standing up to those who don't. Best wishes to you!

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N.C.

answers from St. Joseph on

I delivered both of my kids without any pain medicine. However, I decided late in the game with my second one to get a little pain medicine and it didn't kick in til after I delivered her. The pain for me was ten times worse with my second. I would say if you really want to do it without pain medicine decide that ahead of time and if you change your mind you can always get demoral(sp?) or something like that. I also went so fast with both of my kids. 1 hr of hard labor tops. So just keep it in mind and I would tell the Dr or nurse there that you might want something in your drip. Good Luck with all of it.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

A....I completely understand your thinking!

My first son was natural. My second, a daughter, was with an epidural. And my third, a son, was natural. Why? You recover so much quicker without the meds. The pain was nothing I could not live with. In fact, my first and last births were so much quicker, too.

Best of luck!

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J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

My third of four was natural. It was not by choice and a lot of work. I am not sure if it would have been different if the nurse had believed me and checked my dilation. I finally told her to humor me and check and she had to hold Andy's head while they paged the house OB. I do have to say Andy was a lot more alert than my other three but within a few hours they were all the same. I got the same nurse when I had my next. She said, "I remember you, I told you that you couldn't have an epidural and you didn't cuss me out!"

On your addendum, apparently a lot of women don't understand that they aren't kidding about having to breathe. I didn't expect to have Andy naturally so I wasn't prepared with a focus object and all that. I just focused on staying calm, breathing and stared at a dust bunny. Yeah, a dust bunny was what I focused on. The OB made a comment that I was the first women that didn't lose focus during the delivery. I looked at her and said the baby comes out, the pain stops, where do they find trouble focusing?

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V.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I had my first two boys with Staydol (I think that's how it's spelled), which from what I understand is just a light medication to help relax between the contractions. You still feel everything, but having a chance to relax even for only half a minute helps! My third was a little different. I decided to go completely drug free since I knew it would be my last. My husband was a little skeptical, but when I insisted, he supported me. Had I known that the third was going to be two pounds heavier than the first two I might have rethought that! It's great to be able to say that I gave birth naturally and completely drug free, but there wasn't a whole lot of difference in that one and the first two, only my personal feeling of triumph. I was blessed with very normal deliveries, so going drug free was an option for us. If you are in tune with your body and feel this is something you want to do, then I say go for it! I would not recommend it for someone who gets real anxious about things, but would recommend it for someone who can keep the mindset to relax and focus. Like you said, there are no medals involved, only personal feelings of triumph, etc. There won't be a lot of people who can truly understand why you want to, or what it was like, but in my mind it was worth it.

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C.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A.!
Here are my experiences...With my first one, I was in labor about 5 1/2 hours. The nurse gave me a 1/2 dose of Nubane, which took the edge off of the worst part of the contractions. At 6 cm, I ordered the epidural. A short time later the anesthesiologist arrived, and I was already complete, so no epi! I pushed for about an hour, and my daughter was born. With baby #2, the doctor broke my water and he was born 2 hours later. I was given a full dose of Nubane before I started pushing (don't recommend a full dose-I felt drunk). With baby #3, I was induced, and by 3-4cm I was asking for the epidural. Two morals of this story. If you get pitocin, GET THE EPIDURAL! Don't question it, just do it. :) If you go into labor naturally, I think you're a lot more likely to make it through. The difference was, when I got to "that point", I was at about 8cm with the first two and 3-4cm with the last one. The pit makes it tougher a lot earlier in the game. The second moral is, if you can make it through the contractions, you can make it through the pushing and delivery. In my opinion, the bad contractions were the worst part. You just have to learn how to relax every part of your body and not let your muscles tense up with the pain, which makes it worse. There is so much to try to say in a small paragraph! I know this was my personal experience, and women are all different, but I hope this helps some. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any other questions!

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R.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Dear A.,
I had four children, all with no epidurals. It's not the most fun thing in the world, but it is definitely doable. I don't know what it's like with an epidural, of course. There's definitely pain, but it's bearable. If you'd like to try it, go for it! You can always get some sort of other pain relief if you need it. Good luck!
R.
____@____.com

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S.T.

answers from Wichita on

Why not? I am 36 wks pregnant with my first baby and I'm going to do it without meds. Others have done it and I think I will survive. There are some problems that epidurals can cause that I want to stay away from. =)

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

A.-
I think maybe it has something to do with the "how strong am I really?" mentality, ha ha ha!! I think it's something innate and biological; you think, women didn't have epidurals for centuries and they were alright; do I have the same strength and the guts to go without the meds?" Now, I can't really relate, 'cause I had to have a Cesearean, and if I have another child it will be a C-section too...I am not ever going to be able to go without the drugs or have a normal labor to "test my strength". But I know what you are talking about; I had really, really wanted to have a vaginal delivery-maybe even sans drugs- and I didn't know ahead of time that I was going to have a C-section. I spent 9 months getting prepared for what other women made seem like the "big battle", the hardest thing a woman ever has to do. And I was ready...I was going to see how tough I could be and was prepared for labor and delivery. Then I'm in the delivery room and oops, my baby is breach! C-section time. Damn. I remember feeling like I had spent almost a year training for a battle that I did not get to fight...it was like showing up guns blazing and finding out there had been a cease fire! So maybe I am way off base here and this is not what you are thinking at all, but that is my cheap two cents on the subject, ; )

S.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

My second was born with no pain meds whatsoever. I didn't have time to even get an IV, which was the only reason I didn't have one. There was no benefit during labor, in my opinion, to not having pain medication. However, I was up and walking around with ease within a couple of hours. The recovery after delivery when you don't have an epidural is so much quicker, and it's not like the pain you will endure is going to keep hurting you. It's gone as soon as the baby is out, with the exception of the obvious discomfort of any stitches and swelling, which you will have with or without meds. If you can stick it out through labor without it, it is worth it to not have an epidural. There are no medals, but there are definite bragging rights to it!

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J.F.

answers from Kansas City on

My second birth I did it with only very little injectible drugs, no epidural. It was brutal for a while, but afterwards I felt so much better it was completely worth it. The first time I was numb from my eyes to my toes and they weren't sure why but I would say to hang on as long as you can and then when they tell you it's to late it usually helps you get done faster. I think doc's want you to use the epidural so they can plan it better into their day... that's just me. Try it and if you can't make it, the drugs will be there

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K.N.

answers from St. Louis on

Don't do it without the pain meds!!!!!!! I had both of mine with the epi and they went great (1st one - 18 hours of labor, 2nd one - 6 hours) I would never do it any other way. It makes the experience enjoyable rather than torture. I know three people who went el natural and all of them said they would never do it again. One is even afraid to have a second for fear that she may not be able to get the epi for some reason and have to go thru that again! You get to relax and enjoy the birth without the incredible pain. Be happy!

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R.B.

answers from St. Louis on

That's not an uncommon feeling. I know plenty of women who felt it was a very natural and powerful way to have their children. It's not for everyone but it is admirable to want to try. I tried with both my births. With my daughter I had a small dose of a morphine derivative (safe for childbirth) after I labored for awhile and with my son, a low dose of demoral after I labored and couldn't catch my breath any more. I kept the drug intervention to a minimum but couldn't muster up the strength for the completely natural birth. I also had no desire to have a needle poked in my back with an epidural...that much was clear to me.

If you are feeling so inclined, do some research...the Bradley Method is one that really helps prepare women for drug free births. Have minimal drug intervention as a backup plan and just have the birth you want, no matter what! And don't feel bad if that means an epi...!

Good luck! XOXO

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning A.!! You are a brave woman ;) just teasing in a small way. I had what they called a saddle block with our first one 33 yrs ago. I was completely DEAD feeling from the waist down. I didn't know if I was pushing or not. lol
Our second son I used a epi and it went wrong alittle, I felt that electric type Gotcha up through my neck to my head and had one of the worst headaches in my entire life after his birth.

Our daughter in law had epi's all 3 times with not a problem one. Her oldest is 9 youngest will be 4 this month.
Our second daughter in law SLEPT through all of her labor so when she finally woke up she was ready to deliver and was to late for med's. She did Great, I was in the hallway and heard her yelp only once. I cringed but she was fine. Total labor and delivery was 6 hours ( she was induced both times) (They thought the babies were bigger then they turned out to be)
Her next delivery she didn't sleep though this labor, but it was only 4 hours tops, after inducing. No med's she said if she did it once she could do it again. We have a joke based on Bill Cosbys comedic line, she is going to tell her boys, she said she would have to combine Both Labors to put that guilt trip on them. I labored for Hours to get you here and I can take you out....lol

It's completely up to you and your dr to decide. When labor begins there is a break off point where now it wouldn't be wise to do med's. Tell your Dr. to put you on a med's list but you will decide at that time if you want it or not. Gen had the oppertunity to receive med's but said No I can do this I HOPE!! lol

Best of everything to you and your precious family.
K.

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B.S.

answers from Joplin on

I had all my children in the 80's when "no meds" was the only way to go. I wouldn't do it any other way.
Yes, it's work, but .... so what ? It's worth it to have a healthy baby.
I don't put anyone down for using meds, but I really respect any one who will do it without.
Doctors used to be so against the meds unless you really needed them. It used to be all about baby, and what was best for baby to give them the best start in life possible. When did all that change ?
I can't imagine the hospital fighting your decision to go natural. Childbirth without meds is the most natural thing in the world. Millions of women have done it down through the centuries, and most of us continued to choose to have more children, so it obviously wasn't a total nightmare or anything.
I support your decision to give birth in a hospital. Very wise, I think. Sometimes things do go wrong even with something as simple and natural as childbirth.
Whether you choose meds or not is your decision alone. Don't let others take that away from you.
Also, if you find you just can't get through it and ask for meds at the last minute, don't feel bad ! OK ? It's pretty tempting in the midst of all that work to remember how easy it was with the meds and wonder what you were thinking. LOL. There is no such thing as a failure when it comes to this. Just if one path isn't working for you, you choose another to get to the same happy ending.

As far as the "yelling women", there is no need for that, and in fact it is counter productive ! These are the women who have never taken a childbirth class or learned how to breathe and relax.
I HIGHLY recommend taking these lamaze classes before you even think about having a baby, meds free. You will be so glad you did !

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E.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Okay, so I had both my children with no pain meds and wouldn't have it any other way. You may have heard that the first baby paves the way and additional deliveries are much easier. I found this to be very true. With my first-born, the pain was overwhelming, but being stubborn and having a high pain tolerance helped me get through it without meds. With my second, labor was much faster (7 hours as oppossed to 12.5), pain was much more bearable, and recovery was easier, even though she was 1/2 pound heavier. I will never regret doing it without pain meds.

A few things to consider...although side effect from an epidural are not likely, serious complications are possible for both mom and baby. If you can avoid those possibilities, go for it! Also, because you can feel your body when you don't have meds, it's easier for you to push and get the baby out, decreasing chances of a c-section. You can be more mobile during labor without an epidural. Also, you don't have to wait for anything to wear off after the delivery. All of these are great reasons to avoid meds.

I would ask your husband to support your decision to TRY to deliver without meds. That doesn't mean that you can't change your mind in the moment. You may also want to look into options other than an epidural. Let your intentions be known at the hospital and don't let them make you feel crazy. Best of luck to you!

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C.Y.

answers from Wichita on

Hi A.,
I think everyone in the medical field needs to have at least
one birth without any meds or epi at all. Especially the
nurses on the OB floors. Do I sound bitter? Sorry, but I have been through a lot with deliveries of my own and with my daughter and daughters-in-law. I recommend the epi, whole
heartedly, for anyone as soon as they can get it. It is God sent and makes delivery so much more enjoyable. Good Luck on
your choice....cj

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T.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I understand your feelings of wanting to try without meds...I was the same way with my first. I have not read all of the responses, but I'm sure you got some good things to consider. But, ultimately it is your decision!

A little about what happened with me...I did want to try without meds, and in my case it was good that that was my mindset, because I wouldn't have had time. I arrived at the hospital at about 10:00 at night...and had the fear of "being sent home" after it took the nurses about an hour to realize that I was really in labor & dialiting. (I think my original nurse was new, because then another one finally came in and said...oh, she's diffintely going to have this baby tonight.) I wanted to try without meds and by the time I was thinking of changing my mind, it was too late to get the epi and my daughter was born at 1:10 am. I really did not get to "enjoy" the birth as I was in a lot of pain, my daughter was 9.2 lbs and I couldn't control my pushing like I wished and ended up having 4th degree stitches...and a longer recovery.

With my second, since we knew it was going to be a boy and would more than likely be bigger, they did a sonogram and determined that if I went to term he would be over 10 pounds. (They originally thought my daughter was going to be about 7 lbs.) So, they induced me about a week early and I requested the epi and was SOOOO glad I did. I was able to relax more and enjoy the delivery and even though he was bigger, 9.5lbs, I had little tearing and a faster recovery.

So, that's just my story of what happened. If I were to have more...I would definately choose the meds! I think you should make sure to really talk to your dr. about the size of your baby, because I feel that can make a HUGE difference too. It's a lot easier to "push out" a smaller baby. good luck to you! At least you have awhile to make that decision and do research to determine what you feel is best for you!

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M.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I had an epidural with my first child 6 years ago. Then I delivered my son last summer with NO medications. The only way that made me NOT take any pain meds was the fact that he was premature and he was already having decels. So, since your a PA (I'm an OB nurse), we KNOW that it's the safest way to bring a child into the world. So think of it like that and maybe it will be a strong enough motivator to not get an epidural. The only way how I did it natural was knowing that I couldn't have anything. If you can trick yourself into thinking that, then you can do it. As an OB nurse, I have always respected my patient's wishes against or for pain relief. Express your wants and needs. Yes, there are nurses who want you to "hurry up and decide" before the anesthiosologist leaves, but don't feel rushed. If he has to come back in the middle of the night, so be it. That's why they're paid so much!

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

After having done it both ways, I agree with your husband. With my second child I didn't have the epidural. Not by choice, but due to the anesthesiologist not being available. Fortunately I was one of the lucky ones who didn't have acutal pain until I was at 10, however that next half hour until she was born was horrible. I enjoyed the birth of my son, I can't say the same for my daughter. I say make the experience as enjoyable as possible. Why put yourself thru unnecessary pain.

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R.C.

answers from Wichita on

I know you've had tons of responses but I just wanted to add a couple things. First, have you thought about the Topeka Birth and Womens Center? It is within a block from a hospital, so a quick transfer is easy. I had my first birth in a hospital and still have lots of regrets about the experience, but my second birth was a med-free vbac there and it was perfect. I had to drive 80 miles to get there, and it was worth every penny of gas money, ten times over. They have an OB if you prefer, I had a midwife.

Second, if you have the slightest concern about the staff wherever you deliver, hire a doula. Even if you don't a doula can help you make decisions about things like meds. That's probably the biggest thing I would do differently if I were doing over my hospital birth.

Third, as others have suggested, Hypnobirthing made a huge difference for me. My second labor was twenty-some hours, and I was very relaxed and calm until near the end. I walked, ate, rested in bed, blew bubbles in the back yard with my daughter. It was nothing like a marathon! The pain was very manageable, and it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done. Most important, maybe, best, maybe, but in the right place, with the right support, and the right attitude, you can feel good about what you are doing every minute (okay, almost every minute) of the birth.

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J.L.

answers from Springfield on

I guess I have two sides of the spectrum to share. I personally was not able to have my son without meds...even though that was my intent. I was induced and once those extremely stong contractions started I was begging for an epi...I ended up having an emergency c-section so I didn't have a choice. However, my best friend had her daughter with absolutely no pain meds. She is having her second in Aug and is also planning to deliver with out meds. Her experience was a quite natural one. Of course there was alot of pain, but she explains it that after the first 5 min or so of stong contractions it is almost as if your body takes over and you don't even realize the pain. There are certian IV meds that can help with the pain but are not a full blown epi.

Also just FYI I found the Hypnobirthing method when I was pregnant and wished I would have found it earlier in my pregnancy (we had already been through lamaze). It is very empowering and worth looking into. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Wichita on

I am currently expecting my #7 due in Oct. I have NEVER had or used any pain meds other than a TBSP of whiskey about every hour to help me relax and stay focus. I currently have 6 Bright and Shiney "Medals" in my home. Having a baby w/o pain meds is not a marathon thing. And it is very rewarding to give birth and know that it is all you.

I think that that was your first baby, and you thought that you needed to follow the hospital routine and get an epi... NOW you know how your body and you are during labor and birth and I believe that if you are set in what you want, you could easily have a baby w/o meds. Look into Hypnobirthing. also, check out www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html . HTH....
--
~A.~
Wife to Scott (since 1991)
SAHM of:
Rebeka Meshell 10/91 (hospital/MW)
Aimee Christine 6/93 (hospital/unassisted)
Scott Alyxzandar 2/96 (hospital/Dr)
Anamarie Cecile Cenedra 11/02 (hospital/MW)
Heather Grace 12/04 (hospital/MW)
Mikayla Marcelle 5/07 (unassisted home birth)
BLESSING #7 DUE OCTOBER 7, 2008
Doing Self-prenatal care and planning another Unassisted Family HomeBirth
As a Former Fetus, I OPPOSE Abortion

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D.R.

answers from St. Louis on

With my daughter, I had every intention of having a med-free labor and delivery. I desperately wanted to have a tub birth and had discussed it with my dr and my hubby. They both knew my wishes and said that would not be a problem. Most women I knew really aggravated me with that because they would ask me if I planned to have an epidural and when I told them no, they would ridicule me and tell me I was silly to think I should try it that way. Anyway, the tub was unavailable so I didn't get my tub birth.

I came into the hospital dilated to 3 at 2:00am. By 11am, I was only dilated to 5. I had been awake for about 28 hours at that point, was contracting through 17 hours, and was highly annoyed by the fact I couldn't have my tub birth. I had tried walking, slow-dancing, rocking in a chair, birth ball, hot shower and anything else the nurses suggested or I could think of... I finally decided on the epi around noon, just seconds after my dr informed me that he wanted me on pitocin. They put me on the pitocin and my blood pressure immediately started to drop. It happened every time they tried to increase the drip. I was on pitocin (and oxygen) for about 30 minutes before I actually got my epi. After all of that... I couldn't feel ANY of my labor which was fine by me. They turned my epi off (I had the catheterized epi) when it was time for me to push. I felt EVERYTHING then. I pushed for 2 hours, and met my daughter (finally) at 8:41pm after well over 24 hours of labor. She was sunny side up and not cooperating at all.

I have no regrets toward myself for getting the epidural. I do plan to try a natural birth for any babies in my future, though.

You'll know what is best for you. I found that the nurses where I delivered (and my doc) were VERY supportive of a natural birth. They even questioned me several times before I actually got the epi as to whether or not I really wanted it. And, you can still get pain management up until right before the baby crowns, so you can change your mind. And, I agree with the other moms who have suggested you get some reading material to show your husband. He should be more supportive of your decision.

Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

With my son, I was wishy-washy on whether I wanted the epi but was pretty certain I would eventually ask for it. Well, after being at the hospital for only about an hour, my water broke, and I felt the urge to push. I was told I was at 8 cm (I was 2 cm when checking in) and I FREAKED OUT and asked for the epi. My reason for this post is twofold: 1.) I've had the same curiosity as you about going drug-free (my mom did it 4 times!) so you're not completely crazy! 2.) I did get the epi, so if you change your mind it is possible to get it even when you're very far a long. And remember, no matter how the birth happens, the important part is having a healthy baby in the end!

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A. -

I've been there. I've had four kids and had the epi with all of them. However, with my 4th child, I really did want to go natural and my husband thought I was crazy. Why would we want to do it natural when we don't have to? For me I feel it's a connection to all the women before me. It touches your deepest womanhood to give birth and experience it fully, the good and the bad of it. It's kind of like climbing Mt. Everest - no one has to do it, it's full of danger and suffering, but people do it because of the sense of accomplishment they will have when they reach the top. Giving birth is much more understated, and there will be no headlines about it, but I think the feeling is the same. It's a test of your strength and endurance and very femaleness. Facing it when you don't have to is your way of proving to yourself that you're as brave as all the women who gave birth through the ages. At least that's the way it was for me.

I was so terrified of the pain with my first three, I took the epi. It took forever to get to 4cm. With my 4th child, I was at 4cm when I arrived at the hospital and was thrilled that I had gotten that far with so little pain. So when they asked if I wanted the epi, I really did not want it. I was excited to think that I could do this naturally and not really suffer all that much. But my husband couldn't handle it! After being through three births with me, and seeing how much pain I was in WITH the epi, he could not fathom why I would consider doing it without. I relented and took the epi. But to tell you the truth, I wish I hadn't.

That being said, I don't live with any regret. As important has the birth experience is, that fades away as your children grow and their current lives are far more important that their births.

Long way of saying - you do it the way you want. As long as your baby is healthy, there really is no wrong choice.

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