Thoughts on Chore / Reward Sytems & Allowance for Children...

This has been a tricky area for us since we only have my 8yo stepdaughter with us every other weekend. I don't believe in paying as a previous response stated, they get room and board and it is part of their responsibility as part of a family. That being said, we reward with points but the points are only awarded if we didn't have to ask to get it done. She gets 5 points for things like making bed, feeding her dogs, etc. There is a possibility of about 30 points a day including 5 bonus points for helping me or dad out with something if we need it. She can save up points or use them immediately. Rewards she can earn are things like stay up 30 min. past bedtime (75 points), more Wii time (75), $5 (150), friend sleepover (300) and then she can earn things back. If she broke rules and got something taken away she is the one who decides how long since it costs 200 points to get something back which she can earn in a 2.5 weekends. It has worked wonderfully for us. Also if she breaks big rules like lies, gets into something, etc. she is fined 25 points.

I also believe that children should do chores as being part of our family, but I have found that it has worked (for us) better to base their allowance on their chores, then it's not my fault when they lose money for jobs not done. Just like at work if we don't do our job, we can lose our job. So I divided up the work between my three kids ages 12, 9, 5. They get paid .05 per job and they get about $2 per week. I make them pay 10% to the Lord (we are LDS) and 10% to the bank. They keep the rest. I put it on the computer and print off a new one each week to every other week. It is a spread sheet type thing and they each have their sheet. Types of Jobs they do are: unload the dishwasher (I don't let them load it ends up getting to full or not full enough), washing down countertops & the table, sweep and mop the floor, cleaning each of our "house" rooms (front room, family room, etc), making their bed, cleaning their room, the list goes on. But I also give them points for being kind, saying nice things, changing the baby's diapers, doing extra jobs, being ready for school at a certain time. I also take points away for hitting, saying unkind things, whinning, etc. For those things they lose .10. I wanted the bad things to really hurt, that is why they lose more for being a problem. And it has really curbed the behavior issues that I have had with them.

If you would like to see my spread sheet, just email me with your email and I will gladly send it to you. It was something that I came up with after searching through various websites.

Hello! I wasn't the one who posted the question, obviously, but we've been discussing this same issue lately. What awesome ideas! I hope I'm not intruding by posting to say thanks for all of the ideas! We've been discussing the allowance vs. no allowance thing lately and have decided to do it, from a money management standpoint. I really appreciate those who took the time to contribute and give such good ideas! Thank you! And thanks for asking the question to begin with!

Hi L D,

I read a great book called Children Who Do To Little by Patricia Sprinkle. It has great ideas and practial tips on how to teach even the smallest of children to get involved helping out with the household chores. It also talks about the importance of teaching our children to help out around the house and how it will make them better adults. It's a pretty quick read. Patricia Sprinkle is an entertaining writer and uses lots of stories to keep it fun and real. Good luck! Great job for getting your children involved!

I gave up on rewards for chores. They didn't seem to make a difference. I just tell my kids (5, 8, and 10) that they live here too. They help dirty the dishes, and it's their toys that need putting away and their clothes that need washing. So it just makes sense for them to help. We each have an assigned day to do dishes (put away, really, from the dishwasher) and all I have to do is say "it's Friday, that's your day" and since they picked their own days, they know they need to do it. There's little arguing now, but at first I had to be very strict. They just don't get to turn on t.v. or video games or go outside till it's done and on Saturday mornings we all spend a couple of hours together (less if we can) cleaning up, vacuuming (I say "who's going to vacuum?" and they're jumping to do it! they think its fun), etc. And I do one thing a day myself - fold laundry on Tues, clean 1 bathroom on Wed, clean kitchen stove etc on Fri - so that they see a clean house and want to keep it that way but I don't get overwhelmed.

It may sound harsh to not reward them, but really, chores are part of life and they aren't going to get rewards or sticker charts or anything when they're adults - unless I've missed something :) - so the best thing is for them to learn to do it first then enjoy the day with a nice clean home.

my kids all have chores that are part of being in the family, like the dishes, their bedroom, the bathroom that they use. And I can ask them to do little things around the house like take out the trash etc. if they want spending money they can do extra chores for it. There are jobs that are worth more than others, anyway when they want extra money I sit down with them and say these are what the chores are worth you choose which ones you want to do and then they are paid based on those. Naturally the younger the child the easier the chores to pick from and they get paid better--but all the chores are rediculous in how much they get paid to do them...lol. that part isn't the point as much as knowing that they earned the money. I grew up in a large family and my dad was a school teacher so we didn't get allowances, we babysat outside the home and did other things outside the home for money to help out the family and then for spending money.
One of my best friends comes from an extremely wealthy family--I have based my philosophy on allowances after them. All of their kids have turned out to be hard workers and know how to take care of money and their families without mommy and daddy paying for it. When my best friend wanted to go to summer camp, her mom didn't want her going alone so told both of us that we could earn the money and go together. We got paid for extra chores around their house and on their property--we worked hard for the money but got paid good money for the work, it taught me 2 things...even the wealthy work for their money, and that I have a right to value my labor that I can set a standard for myself and receive it in life. Not entitlement but belief in myself--when it came time to raise my tutoring prices at first I thought no one will pay...then I thought about those experiences knew I was still giving a great service for a great price and that it was not only okay to raise the price but healthy to say I am this good, I am worth this. and my clientel agreed.
I got a bit long winded--but I don't want to raise my kids to think that money just shows up every week/month. I want them to know you have to work for it, but also that their labors are valuable. Even my 3 year old earns money for doing extra chores around the house--
we started using it when we were going to california for a vacation and I had 2 younger brothers who were going with us, we made up a list of chores and what they were worth so my brothers could earn the money for the trip instead of just having us pay for it--I got help with things I didn't normally get done in cleaning my home, and they got paid crazy amounts of money for doing them--but still, they earned the trip. We've continued to use that model as we've brought other children into our home.
GL.

Have you heard of love and logic? They have books, seminars, etc. Here is our system we use based on love and logic ideas. Each child has a certain set of chores, for example, our 9 year old unloads the dishwasher( they each have at least two a day, we started when they were 3), if they choose to not do the chore they pay us( literally, on allowance payday they give me the $ they owe), our fee is $5( ouch!), THIS WORKS! You have to keep track and follow through with making them pay or it is inefective. They each get a set amount of money every two weeks, go on what your family can afford. Let me stress, it is not a " I am going to take away your money if you don't do it", it is you can pay me to do your work. This also works with other types of messes, for example, my oldest son was mad at my daughter so he messed up her room, ( inside I was boiling but outside cool as a cucumber), I just said, you can pay me to clean this up or take care of it yourself. ( I did wait minute to calm thing's down a little). Good luck! ( and the kids won't like it but stick with it, it can take some adjustment!)

I haven't implemented any kind of chore system for my own household yet (my only son is just 16 months), but I can tell you what kind of system I grew up in. I apologize in advance for this being so long--it was a little complicated and will take awhile to explain. For background, I was the middle child of five, with two older brothers and two younger sisters. There is 9.5 years between my oldest brother and youngest sister.

Our chore chart evolved over time--it started out as a wheel, with each of us being in charge of certain things for an entire week (i.e., dishes, taking out the trash, etc.). Then it became more of a list (I remember it being more like this in my pre-teen to teenager years), and the jobs became more detailed (not just do the dishes, but wipe off the counters, sweep the floor, etc.), and we had to check off each job before going to bed. We would be in charge of that particular group of chores for a week, and then we'd switch it up for the next week. We also had big-chore days twice a week, usually Wed and Sat, where we would dust/polish the furniture, vacuum the floors, mop, etc., as well as daily chores that we were always responsible for, like making our own bed.

If we didn't check a job off at night, or we checked it off and we didn't really do it, my dad would put a zero there (he went to work at 5am so he was always up before us anyway). At the end of the week, we'd count up how many zeros we had. When we were getting an allowance, we'd get 10 cents or so knocked off for every three zeros or something like that. When we no longer got an allowance due to hard times for the family, we would lose privileges--three zeros meant no phone for the next week, six zeros meant no phone and no TV, etc. This was before the internet, so I'm sure that would have been a potential lost privilege as well. And we got to choose (with parental approval/veto power) what privileges would be on the list--they had to be something we'd really miss. No sense restricting phone for someone who never uses it or denying going outside to your child who prefers to read in his/her room anyway.

It sounds a little complicated, I know, and maybe a lot more hardcore than you're willing to go (I know my friends always thought it was a harsh system, but for me it was just normal), but I hope it will give you some ideas. I don't know that I'll go that extreme with my own children, but I am grateful for the work ethic that my parents instilled in me, and our house was always relatively clean, which is hard to do with five kids at home. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

I think at 10 they can start doing "extra" stuff for allowance, however daily upkeep of their room, their stuff is just part of being a family. I tell my kids we all must pitch in, the reward is a nice home and organization! :)
I think rotation of things that are age appropriate for chores is fine. The same ol' thing can get boring for them.
Have things like their toys, rooms are to be kept picked up daily, that across the board. Then bigger things like dishes put away, trash out, dusting, wiping down things as some extra bonus points they can earn.
For my son he is only four, too young for allowance and I have him earn stars for good behavior, cleaning up his messes and going to bed nicely. After 14 stars in a row I might add, he gets to go to Target and pick up something under $5. This doesn't happen in a row often I may say, but he has something to strive for, a visual reminder of what is expected to get what he wants.

For my 7 1/2 year old, she has to keep her toys picked up, make her bed every morning, keep her stuff organized, go to bed nicely, do homework without issue and so forth and she earns bedtime points, which is important to her. For instance she loses 10 minute intervals from 8:30 for the wrong choices, so if she wants her 8:30 bedtime she has to work for it basically. Some nights she is in bed when her little brother is for points taken off. That is what works with her.

I match what she saves to a degree from tooth fairy, holiday money from relatives and told her this but she does not get "allowance" or extra money from me. If she has done the right thing for a while, kept her sassing down to a bare minimum and things are going smoothly and we are out, I will let her pick out something. If it is frivilous and just a "I want thing" then I make her use her own money.
She has saved up $90 from tooth fairy, cashing in gift cards and so on and hangs on to that money big time, I told her if she continues and wants something big and nice if she stays saving I will match it for her at some point later in life! :)

I think you have to figure out what extra they do, how it goes daily for just the basics, kids under 10 don't need allowance in my opinion. Just being part of the family and being able to help is doing what you should without reward. After 10 the necessities or wants get more expensive and having them earn money, raking leaves, cleaning up after pets and going extra mile to earn money is great for them I think. My daughter thinks hard before she spends her "own money" believe me! :)

I sat the 3 boys down that live w/us & told them what they were going to do. It was easiest for us to give each of them a week to do certain chores-wiping bathroom surfaces/scooping dog poop are always the same week of the month for each kid (kid 1 gets week 1, kid 2 is week 2, mom picks up the last week of each month). If the week carries over into the next month, the next kid picks up on the following Sunday. Five week months I guess Mom will just pick up-lucky boys!
I found it was easiest to do a laminated chart on posterboard w/stickers as a reward. I separated into morning chores (get dressed/brush teeth/make bed/eat/jammies on bed), daily (poop duty, hang towel in bath, clothes in hamper, toys picked up), evening (check dog water/food, teeth brushed, clothes picked up-can't remember if that was daily or nightly). I counted stickers-for every week's worth of stickers (I gave them the number) they got $X (teen got $5/week, 7 y/o gets $2.50, 5 y/o gets $1) & in a month could get $Y
Because I didn't raise the teen from birth, he's got his mom's rules & standards (or lack thereof), so it's very hard to keep him doing his chores w/o being on him constantly-which I don't feel I should have to do since he's big enough to do the basic hygeine & pick up stuff on his own. Laundry day is Tuesday & Friday in our house-if laundry's not down before school on Tues, I'm not doing it. If they don't bring it down Tues or Fri, they do their own-wash, dry, fold. The teen tested that & lost out this past weekend. I will not monitor washer or dryer either-they're in charge of keeping track of the time & cycles. I've decided that since for a 2nd week in a row the teen hasn't gotten laundry downstairs, it's going to get tougher for everyone-I don't want to do a load on Tues & 8 on Fri! Now, if your clothes aren't down on Tues, you'll be putting away the extra piles (towels, sheets) & taking ALL of the laundry upstairs to the right room.
Allowance will have to go up as they get older, but for now just getting cash is good incentive for at least my younger ones.

my kids all have responsibilities each week; taking care of themselves (getting ready AM & PM, homework, practicing music) and their space (room), as well as a household chore that rotates weekly so they don't have to do the same thing ALL the time. They don't get paid for these.

Each child is given weekly 20 poker chips (each their own color). Each chip is worth 1/2 "plug-in" time (tv, internet, video games). At the end of the week we count up what chips are left, and they get $.50 per chip. That means they COULD earn $10/week!!!! Do they ever? NO!!!! If they do not complete something on their chart it costs them 1 token the first day, 2 tokens the second (for the same infraction), 4 tokens then next day.... you get the idea (it doubles every day they don't do something they're supposed to).

When we count up money, it works best if I go straight on line and deposit the money straight into their account and they can see their savings grow! They like to compete. I have savers and spenders, and this way seems to work pretty good. If they REALLY want an item they can usually save for it within a few weeks. And if they're a saver, they love to keep putting money in.

The best part is.... whenever they want something, I get to say "Sure, you could buy that!"

my son is 5 and so you might want to change it a little, but this has worked for us.

I picked 4 chores that I wanted completed every day. Made up a chart on the computer with pictures and words of what I want done and then a spot for each day of the week. Every time he completed the chore he got a sticker. At the end of the week he got paid. 5 cents for every sticker he received that week. If he did more than his chore chart then he received extra stickers on it and got 5 cents for those too. It might not sound like a lot, but for my 5 year old he was very happy. It rounded out to around 2.00 a week give or take depending on if he completed his chores or not.

He was able to save up for a couple of toys real quick too. I had him put part of his money in the bank and part of it he could save for something special.

I don't believe that chores should be paid for. Your children are a part of your family and they should just take part in the upkeep of your house because they get food and shelter. You can pay them if they do your chores but they need to know that working around the house is being part of a family.
We do 1.05 a week but my daughters are 4 and 3. It is 1.25 a week but we take out taxes of .20 so that one day they son't get a rude awakening when they get there first paycheck and fica is taking all their money. :)
We are a love and logic family...it is a great way to raise children if you haven't heard about them.
Good luck

Starting at age 4, they get an allowance at our house. Allowance is one quarter/year of life/week, so a 4 yo would get 4 quarters, or one dollar, once a week. They can save it, spend it, or give it at church- we are leaving it up to them for now. We opened a savings account for our 6 1/2 yo this year and he's having a great time saving right now (Wells Fargo has some "bank dollars" that kids can earn when they deposit money and earn towards prizes- fun incentive to save). He's saved about $36 since January, but he's about ready to deposit another $16 or so.

As far as chores go, our 6 yo empties the dishwasher along with usual things like cleaning up room and toy room, setting the table, and sometimes helping with laundry. My 5 yo puts away dirty washcloths and whatever else I ask him to do, as well the usual things. My 5 yo is more motivated by activity books than money, even though I do pay him allowance. My kids have the opportunity to keep or lose things they like, depending on how they choose to behave. I try to make it rest squarely on their shoulders what happens to them, so I don't have to be "the bad guy".