I am breast feeding and bottle feeding our three week old daughter. She falls asleep every time I put her to my breast. It feels like she is not emptying my breasts, after I take her off the breast she acts starved and will not latch on long enough or suck hard enough so I give her formula. This has been very frustrating since I have a 3 year old who is bouncing around constantly getting into things. I try to pump, but it seems like during the day she just wants to be held and stay on the breast all day nibbling a little at a time and not fully taking a feeding. She feeds every two to three hours. I get no sleep. My husband works nights. I am about to the point of just bottle feeding only. When she latches on it doesn't hurt, but it feels like she is just lightly sucking. How do I get her to empty the breast to where she feels satisfied?
Find a lactation consultant who does outpatient visits - yes they exist, I work with three..email me privately if you need names and numbers. See the LC ASAP and get the issue resolved before you get more frustrated or it is too late to impact teach the baby a better suck technique. It could baby...not you, and just needs to be "taught" how to empty and eat better. Good luck.
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K.G.
answers from
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Stop giving her the bottle or she will never breastfeed. If she knows you are going to give her the bottle why should she work for her food? She will get hungry and she will eat, don't give up!!!
Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for her!
Good luck!
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S.T.
answers from
St. Louis
on
If you want breastfeeding to be successful I would eliminate the formula all together. She probably is sucking on your breast the same way she sucks on a bottle, which is easier. If you quit giving her the easier feeding option (the bottle) she may become a more efficient sucker on the breast. Be patient. Around 3-4 weeks I wanted to throw in the towel also. I stuck it out, and have been nursing my son for 16 months now. It gets way easier as they get older and you get in a good routine. Good luck!!
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J.W.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I see you've gotten quite a few responses. If she were not emptying your breasts and exclusively breastfeeding - you'd be an awesome milk producer and should 'stock up' ;) However, the key here is to remove the formula and get her to feed completely. If she only takes 'some' milk from the breast she only gets foremilk. It's the hindmilk that contains the element of FAT & FULL that you're looking for! Breastmilk is specially designed for your baby. It is like a three course meal - without getting a whole feeding at the breast - you miss alot of great benefits!! As she grows and develops, it changes to meet her needs. Formula is a one size fits all - and babies aren't all alike nor do they have the same needs as they develope - but when you're trying to recreate something that was already designed perfectly, what else can you do? :) Breastmilk is fully 'usable' by your baby's system and because human milk is so easy to digest you don't have constipation and diarrhea. A few more reasons to breastfeed......Babies who are breastfed for at least 6 months: 3xs fewer ear infections, 5xs fewer serious illnesses, 7xs fewer allergies. For every 87 artificially fed babies who die from SIDS, only 3 breastfed babies do. 6xs less likely to develop lymphoma (a type of childhood cancer)- children who were breastfed also have an average 7 points higher IQ than those who are given 'breastmilk substitutes'(yes, it's brain food!). Over a lifetime.....as adults people who were breastfed have: less asthma, less diabetes, fewer skin problems, fewer allergies, lowered risk of heart attack, stroke and obesity (among others). Your benefits......you lower your risk for breast cancer. If you breastfeed for a lifetime total of 2 years, lowered by 40%, 6 years 60%, at 7 years you've lowered your lifetime risk to almost 0!! Also provides protection from cancer of the ovaries & osteoporosis (a thinning of the bones)!! Of course, I don't even have to point out the cost effectiveness!! As you work on complete breastfeeding, throw in an extra feeding (pumping) and your milk supply will stay 'up' and you'll have some in storage for when you go back to work! It may seem like a little work at this point but OHH the benefits! Both of you will be so happy you did! If you need any support - I'd be happy to cheer you on personally or a local La Leche league would work too!! Go mom!! Give her the healthiest start in life that you can - you know you want to :)
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G.N.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Make sure your not gorged when she goes to latch on, it will make it hard for her to latch on if your gorged, try squeezing a little out and leave it on the nipple sit in a relaxed chair, or on the couch and bring her to the breast and make sure her mouth is open wide and have her take in the whole nipple. If the nipple isnt properly in her mouth she may seem like she is nursing, if you dont hear gulping sounds like she is swallowing she may not be getting enough. You can always search on the internet for proper nursing. I always found holding my son in the football hold worked the best, I would place a pillow beside me and put his feet toward the back of the couch and guide his head to my breast and he would latch on like a champ. The more you nurse the better the milk comes in.
Feel free to PM if you have any questions or concerns. I nursed my son for 16 1/2mths, he is now 3.
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R.M.
answers from
Topeka
on
As some of the other Moms have already told you...it usually doesnt work to bottle feed AND breast feed...bottle feeding is SO much easier...physically...for the baby...and they get "lazy" and dont want to suck hard enough at the breast to really get much nourishment. I would suggest that if you need to continue the bottle feeding that you think about expressing breast milk and putting that into the bottles....and that you try and switch to NUK nipples...that is what I used for supplemental feedings with my daughters. THey are shaped more like the breast AND they have much small holes so the baby has to work just as hard at the bottle as she does at the breast!!
I think your ultimate solution is going to be to eliminate the bottles and go to full time breast feeding...if that is possible.
Good luck and congratulations on your new little one!!
R. Ann
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D.E.
answers from
St. Louis
on
You've gotten some great responses and they were exactly right.
GIVE UP the bottle: the milk comes out too easily. Why would she work harder to get breast milk when the artificial nipple flows so easily? It really is that simple. Relax and give her time.
If you worry about how much she is eating, you pediatrician's nurse will gladly weigh her before and after a feeding to reassure you that she is getting enough to eat.
Trust me, I have been in the same predicament. Once I took away the bottle, my son learned to nurse like a pro in very little time :)
Best Wishes!
P.S. Both of my babies nursed every two hours. I just said, "Moooo." ;)
It is a gift worth giving.
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C.S.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Three weeks is a hard point. I breastfed both of my boys and both gave me their own share of frustrations at those early ages. First, I would advise you ditch the formula. She may just be suckling for comfort, she may not even be hungry. My kids both did that and it was so hard to be the "mean" mommy, but I followed some advice from my aunt, a mother of four. Only allow suckling at feeding times. Do not follow a breastfeeding session with a bottle, follow with a pacifier. Don't put her to the breast any more than every 2 hours. From there you can work to 3 to 4 as she gets older. It sucks, I know. My oldest ate every 2 hours on the dot for the first two months of his life. My children would get bottles at bedtime feedings, it was the feeding I chose because of the hours I was going to work when I returned to work. I pumped while they got a bottle. If you continue trying to pump during the day after she feeds, you will continue to make more milk than she takes. I would recommend only pumping after only the first morning feeding (which is probably unclear now, but 7 or 8ish would be a good starting point). It will take some work and patience but you two will get it all lined out. My children's father also worked nights. I totally understand what you are going through! Hang in there! I remember wanting to throw in the towel, severl times with each of them, but I am so glad now that I had that bonding time. If it really is too much for you though, remember it is a personal choice. YOu have to do what is best for you and your family. Good luck!
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M.B.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I could never get my son to latch on right. I actually had to pump for him because he was losing weight. But feeding a breastfed baby every 2 hours is typical, I never got three hours in. Sometimes its every hour. With my daughter breastfeeding was a breeze, well its demanding but I never had any problems as far as latching on. I would give it some more time. As young as she is, she will need to eat every 2 hours. You really have to de devoted to it or it wont work. If your breasts are still full, you could pump the rest to keep up your milk supply. If she is falling asleep at the breast, she will probably do the same with formula and you will just be wasting it. But if its really not for you, than its your decision to switch. It is challenging going from one to two kids, but it gets a lot easier, Im five months into it and now its like a piece of cake! Good luck!
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S.L.
answers from
St. Louis
on
You've already received some great advice. I just wanted to add my 2 cents in and encourage you to keep going, don't stop now!! You can do this. REMEMBER mom the joy of your children, the blessing that you are able to breastfeed...to be there with them....don't concern yourself so much with cleaning....with doing things just so....just BE.....relax...if baby wants to cuddle...ENJOY.....allow son to be himself...read to him while nursing..watch his favorite show while nursing... just relax and enjoy. Don't bottle for now, get used to her routine for it will change again on you right when you think you've finally gotten it down! But remember, it's only for a season, and before you know it, you'll be putting the breast back in retirement!! Be blessed, relax, enjoy, don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing what's right for your baby.
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B.C.
answers from
Joplin
on
I don't know what your prior experience is with nursing...but a 3 week old that is nursing every 2 to 3 hours?? NORMAL.
Make sure she has as much of the areola in her mouth as you can get, a good latch is key...not just the nipple, that will hurt you and not get enough milk out.
There is Nothing wrong in the world with rousing a baby who has fallen asleep at the breast...stroke her cheek, move her around...don't get discouraged! This is new and some babies take longer than others. Hang in there if its important to you, I think breast is best, but youare by no menas a failure if you choose to bottle feed!
Good luck, and if you are still haveing problems contact the La Leche League.
B.
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J.G.
answers from
Columbia
on
I would not give her any bottles and especially not formula, it will make her feel fuller and she will not be interested in breastfeeding. I was told when I was nursing my kids that every two hours is from the time you start feeding, not from when you finish. It was also suggested that you wait four to six weeks before even starting a bottle or they will have nipple confusion. Best thing would be just cut out the bottles.
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J.H.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I want to respond b.c I was in your same shoes 7 moonths ago when my son was born and I had a two year old bouncing around. I see that you plan to go back to work part time and that your husband works nights...all of this plus that little darling that won't just breastfeed correctly (darn it! ha) can really wear on you right now. Just make sure that in all of the things going on around you that you are also taking care of YOU and doing what is best for YOU. If you really start to feel overwhelmed and your brain starts to feel a little like scrambled eggs make sure you talk to your OB, he/she can help. I was never one to turn to medication, but in my case (which sounds lot like yours) I did and I'm greatful that I did and I even wish I would have started a little sooner. Anyway, that being said my son would do the same thing, he loved to be on the breast but didn't seem to be eating much while he was on there, in fact it would take about an hour to really feel like he was getting anywhere and by the in seemed like time to start over again! I started pumping and giving him my milk in bottle b/c he drank those in a normal time range. Eventually I was able to pump very little though and I stopped breastfeeding when he was about 3 months old, and I started my medication (lexapro) just after quitting. I would rock/nudge him gently to get him to start sucking again, rub his cheek, sing to him, gently pull away to get him to suck again... I mentioned it to his pediatrician and they basically had no good information for me, just joked that he must be comfy on the boob or somehting. Anyway, hopefully your daughter comes around and makes things a little easier for you. My first son was a champion breatfeeder, but he had a cleft lip and after he had surgery at 8 weeks it became awkward so I did the same thing, pumped and dried up after about 3 months. I wish I would have been able to breastfeed both of them for longer, but circumstances happen I suppose. Good Luck and feel free to email me if you need someone to talk/vent to about anything!
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C.D.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Hi A.. I remember those early day! It was so frustrating...my daughter would fall asleep too. I agree formula is probably making things more difficult, but I understand why you gave it to her.... you want her to eat! Have you tried talking to a lactation consultant? Did the hospital where you delivered have some?? They may be able to help you determine if her latch is good. One thing that helped me is when my daughter would stop sucking, I would use breast compression to give her a little milk, then she would start again. Undress her so she's not so comfy and sleepy. Hang in there. I was calling the lactation consultants every day at the beginning, and my daughter was nursing nonstop. By 1 month, she was nursing for 5 minutes every 3 hours. I didn't think I would last a week at the beginning, but I stuck with it day to day, and I nursed her for 22 months--after those first few weeks itt's easier than formula feeding!! Every day you give her is good for her. When I was struggling, a friend who was a nurse told me, "Give it six weeks before you give up," and by that time, it was smooth sailing. Good luck.
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C.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I agree with the others that you need to forget about the bottle for a little bit. I think it is great that she will take a bottle but you need to get her established on the breast and use the bottle only when you can't be there to feed her. Sometimes it takes a whle for babies to really establish a good schedule and at this age, they generally do sleep a lot. While your body adjusts to her needs, you might be making more then she is eating. This is perfectly normal. As for the 3 year old, let him bounce. When you are feeding the baby, do it in the same room that he is in so that you can talk to him and interact with him. The baby does not need a quite environment to eat and sleep in. She has been in a very noise environment for the past 9 months and has heard that older brother and all his noises as well.
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K.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Don't give up just yet! I have 4 children and have breastfed all of them exclusively, no formula, for 12-14 months. I remember feeling like all I could get accomplished was to breastfeed! I agree with the other comments, I would stop the bottle so as to not create nipple confusion. Nursing every 2 ours if pretty normal. I remember being frustrated some of the time and then before I knew it my baby was 12-14 months and being weaned and how it made me sad to think my baby wasn't a baby any more... As far as having a 3 year old. I would try and read to the 3 year old while breastfeeding if possible. After having my 3rd I would try to read to my older 2 so they felt like they weren't being left out. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't but it was a way of trying to make them feel involved. I also returned to work pt after 12 weeks of being home. Pumping every day at work was a pain but I knew it was worth it for my child. When I wasn't working I never gave my child a bottle. If I was home I breastfeed. They only received a bottle from my husband when I was out of the home. Good luck and kow what a great job you are doing!
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A.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
You need to call a La Leche League consultant or see a lactation consultant, if you want to keep breastfeeding. The more formula you give, the less chance you give her to learn to breastfeed (no baby is born knowing how) and the less chance you give your breasts to make enough milk. Go to llli.org to find someone in your area. They are very helpful and will even come to your house for free to help you. I would not have been able to breastfeed my son without their help.
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R.M.
answers from
Lawrence
on
This may not be what you want to hear but... She is only 3 weeks old! She is still sleepy and isn't likely to eat a lot then take a long break etc. My daughter was like that (I also had a 3 yr old when she was born). It was tough to manage breastfeeding with my son jumping around so I managed to make it time we read a book or did something quiet, while the baby nursed. I want to say that this impossible sleepy and not eating alot lasted for about 2 months? Now she eats well and sleeps better (10months). I also had a lot of luck carrying her in a carrier where she could cuddle and even nurse while I was doing other stuff (though I wasn't so great at the nursing carry). I think if you can stick it out, you'll be making your life easier in the long run. A few tips: I used to squeeze my breast to express milk into my daughters mouth. I used to tickle her feet and rub her cheek to keep her sucking. My mom even put a cool cloth on her face a few times! I also found that co-sleeping made my sleep easier. She nibbled while I slept.
Best of luck. It will get easier, but having two is so much harder. Also, your son will adjust to the new routine and needs of another. It is an ongoing adjustment, but just be patient (with yourself especially).
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K.G.
answers from
St. Louis
on
My son did the same thing. I would pull out a little bit, and he would latch right back on and keep eating, even while he was sleeping.
I have a two-year-old and a four month old now, so I understand about the bouncing around while you're feeding. I asked my two-year-old to "help" while I was pumping because I produced WAY MORE than my baby could drink, and I actually donated most of it to a neighbor who adopted a little boy. But when my two-year-old was helping me (throwing some things in the trash, putting his plate in the kitchen sink, even holding the pump to make sure it was done right), he was bouncing less, and that did help.
Keep with it. You can do it!
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M.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
While she is on your breast tickle her feel or rub on her face to get her to stay on task. She is still so young she might not be emptying your breast but the breast milk is still so good for her this young. Try waiting until your milk supply stabilizes to pump so that she is getting all of the milk from your breast and not a bottle. Also I know that there are differing viewpoints on this but I only fed mine from one breast at a time instead of switching mid way through. I have read that you should do this in order to allow baby to get the "hind milk" which is the fattier milk which should sustain her for longer. All of that said you have to do what is right for you and your family no matter what you do she will turn out healthy and happy!
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H.S.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I am going through the same thing myself with my 4 week old. She is constantly falling asleep on my breast and i try to keep her on both breasts for a minimum of 10 minutes each. So, what i am doing is nursing her every other feeding and pumping my breasts when i do not nurse her. I try to keep her stimulated by stroking her neck, back or feet. I've also supplemented her nursing with formula.
Her pediatrician thinks I am on the right track. My little girl has had to go in for a weigh in every week now to see if she has gained weight (she was jaundiced and lost close to 10% of her birth weight before we were discharged). She has done very well so far with the weigh in.
This is in addition to having an active 4 year old sister who gets into every little thing. Thank goodness the 6 year old is in half day kindergarten and is a good boy.
I agree with the recommendations for La Leche League, i would also talk to your baby's peditrician for any suggestions.