Thumb Sucking - Staten Island,NY

I can only give advice as a former thumb sucker. My mom made it a point NOT to make a big deal about my sucking my thumb even though many people told her on a daily basis, many times right in front of me, how and why she should make me stop. They told her to use tabasco sauce, nasty spices, put gloves and mittens on me, etc. She simply told them, "When she's ready, she'll stop." It was a comfort for me and I realize as an adult, I sometimes use food to fill that need but have realized gum works the same to thwart my oral fixation.

Anyway, at 13-years-old, with going to sleepovers with friends and getting more and more nervous about someone seeing me and trying to keep hiding it and afraid of being made fun of, I stopped- on MY terms when I was ready. I am now 33 and have a 2 1/2 year-old baby boy. I have no need or desire to suck my thumb and am thankful to my mother for allowing me that comfort when I needed it.

Oh also, about the teeth issue, I may be the exception to the rule but I have perfectly straight teeth. I NEVER wore braces or a retainer. Good luck!

If she finds her thumb comforting, let it be. Not worth
battling over.

I may not be the best person to dispense advice since my son, who is 6, still occasionally sucks his thumb, usually just now when he's going to sleep.
However, I've always believed--and some experts share the belief--that children will stop when they're ready.
The more attention you pay to it, the more stressful it becomes; and the more it becomes a control issue. She'll only need it more.
Many sources I read said that children will typically stop around age 5--due to peer pressure (kids saying things) or simply because they notice other children aren't doing it. Maybe they simply no longer need their thumb in the same way.
All I know is that I never made it an issue for my son--and slowly, but surely he's stopping.
I would leave her alone about it.

I would let her suck her thumb. As long as there is no medical issue with it, I'd let it be. This is a behavior that she'll give up eventually, and I'm not sure why so many people think it's such a bad thing!

If this small behavior helps her feel soothed, then why not allow it? At least for now. :)

I'm so sorry about your family's loss. Your little one must be so confused!

My firstborn was a big time thumb sucker. Either thumb would do, he'd suck the left one, he'd suck the right one, so they both ended up getting red and raw. When he turned five and was about to enter kindergarten (no nursery school or day care) I told him that it was fine with me if he wants to suck his thumb, but that I did not want him to do that when he's in school. I told him; "they don't want you to suck your thumb in school, but you can still do that at home whenever you want to." To my absolute surprise, he stopped that very day. Cold turkey! My husband and I could not believe it! My son never sucked his thumb ever again after that little conversation. Pretty cool, huh?! Let her suck her thumb..... it's really no biggie.
D. N.

Well, my son is almost 3 and still sucks his thumb when he is tired or upset. He also gets milk in a bottle at bedtime. We tried to break him of the bottle habit but decided it wasn't the right time since we are expecting a second baby any day. Why take away a mostly harmless comfort when he most needs it? As for the thumb sucking, 3 is young to give up on his own. But I talked to a former thumb sucker who is a good friend and she said she gave it up on her own at about 8. At about 4 her parents encouraged her to only suck her thumb when going to sleep or watching TV but not in public. She said this helped. I was a nail biter not a thumb sucker and also gave it up around age 11.

The more you mention it and worry about it the more she will do it. I'm sure its because of losing her bottle and grandpa and possibly preschool. While she might not understand death she certainly can pick up on her parents emotions. Try to ignore it and keep her hands busy doing puzzles and even playing video games. Leap Frog has some excellent video games for her age and its impossible to play while munching on a thumb. Also peer pressure will eventually work at school.

I tend to think your daughter is finding a lot of comfort in sucking her thumb..
For the most part, children grow out of it although I've come across a few adults who haven't...
When you notice her sucking on her thumb, try taking her hand away from her mouth and cuddle her into a huge hug. Then give her a toy she's fond of in that hand. If you are doing something that she might help with at the time, get her involved....hopefully that special time with her will make the difference....

At 3, I would not worry about it. The more you bother her about it, them more she will probably do it. There is nothing wrong with it at this age and she will outgrow it when she is ready.

My son sucked his thumb also. When he was young it was cute. But now he is 13 and he still does it in his sleep. It definitely isn't cute anymore!
A few years back the orthodontist wanted to put a brace (metal bar with 2 humps in it on the top of his mouth. I chose to have a retainer type that he could take out instead of having it semi-permanently put it. Unfortunately he has lost it and it didn't work. But if he had it cemented in for a while it would have broke the habit.
Talk to your dentist. The habit gets harder as they get older.
Good Luck.

Hi L.,
I am sorry about the recent loss in your family. I don't believe that thumb sucking would be brought on by the loss of a grandparent that a toddler saw every couple of weeks. It sounds like the passing was some months ago, and while she may have been close with him, I don't think it's likely that she is still traumatized by his loss on a daily basis months later when he was not a part of your household. Saying things to her will not get her to stop. My suggestion is to keep her hands busy. Is she sucking her thumb constantly through the day, or occasionally? Many children do suck their thumbs, and 3 years old is not an age where I think you need to be worried about it. Kids suck their thumbs when there isn't a death in the family and at times when it's not related to the departure of their bottles. I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless her thumb is getting raw from all the moisture. Neither of my kids sucked their thumbs, and they both needed braces - if she's sucking with baby teeth, I don't really think it'll make a difference in terms of needing orthodontia later on. Many kids simply stop on their own, or stop when they get to an age that other children tease them for this.
Good luck!

A friends of mine was told by her pediatrician that thumb sucking would stop when the child is ready and there was nothing proven to work. I also had another friend that put those stretchy gloves on her daughter at night and she didn't like the texture so she stopped and the gloves eventially could be put away. They are also easily washed. My point I guess is there is no sure fire way but the trama of loosing her Grandpa may have increased it for now. After a while she may be able to slow down or stop after some of the confusion and hurt goes away. She is old enough to underatand that Grandpa is not here anymore but she may not understand it all and is very confused. Don't push the issue right now you have her grief, confusion, anger, frustrarion, etc. to deal with first. Sorry to hear of the loss but kids will learn how to deal with death eventially. Some take longer than others and need to grieve all in THEIR time. A.

Hi L., Thumb sucking is a security thing. Some children do it and some don't. My daughter is a thumb sucker and none of my 4 sons were. As she was growing up I know she did not suck her thumb in front of friends. She has 2 children and they are both thumb suckers. Yes it is a habit and there is something out there that you can paint on which is bitter and may get her to stop (also used for nail biters) A neighbor once told my daughter it is OK to suck your thumb even if you are a grown-up if it feels good. I never made a fuss over it. She is a very successful businesswoman and admits that sometimes she finds herself with her thumb in her mouth. The best you can do is insist on clean hands. Happy New year, Grandma Mary