Time for a Move to Another State but What About My Son?

Updated on October 06, 2010
F.W. asks from Flagstaff, AZ
5 answers

We live in a small city and my husband keeps on trying for a job after being let go. He's always #2. I have been noticing that my job is a dead end job. I'm not happy either. I will be sending out resumes soon to other states. I grew up in the military but my first move that I remember was hard on me. How do I keep it fun for my son? My mom always tried to make it fun saying things like we were going on an adventure. Any advice?

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I moved around a lot as a child and I don't remember ever having issue with it. A few years ago we bought a house in a different state than we were living in and this was a first move/big move for my kids age 4yrs and 2yrs at the time. I just talked about the move with them in language they easily understood and we talked about the move almost every day. I prepared for the kids a photo album (that they never needed) that could help the transition if we had issues. Take pictures of common things, like his bedroom (as he is familiar with it decorated), your bedroom, the hall leading to your bedroom, the front of the house, all the room almost like a virtual floor plan. Also take pictures of his school and familiar places or things that he likes that he won't see anymore. That way if he has issues in the new place he has visual comfort of what was familiar. Prepare a move bag of things he can not have until moving day (games, snacks, cuddle item, etc.) and do what your mom did and make it an adventure. If you and your DH are excited he will be too. Just make sure the "special" items go with you in your vehicle so that they don't get lost.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

We moved a number of times as a kid, as late as junior high. It always worked out fine. I honestly have no bad memories associated with moving. When you have a set city you'll be moving to, you might create a fun "kit" about that place (depending on your son's age), including information about local theme parks, parks, activities, etc. That can help to build up some excitement about the change. If he's school-aged, you can also talk about ways he can keep in touch with his current friends, too.

Best of luck with your job searches!

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D.S.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

We are another military family. I absolutely adore moving :-) wierd I know! Anyway, we just made the move fr. TX to FL and will be moving again to who knows where in about 10 months. For us it's about having an adventure - I have acknowledged that we are leaving our old friends but we may get to visit them later. There are so many new things to discover; parks, beaches, libraries, sports teams, hiking trails, eating places, shops, friends, playgroups, festivals...the list can go on & on. As long as you stay positive then usually the kiddos will follow your lead.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Do just what your mom did, when our kids were 7, 4, and 22 months we made a Military move to Sasebo Japan, and all 3 of our kids were fine, F. with most kids if mom and dad are OK, they are usually OK. J.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Moving takes its toll on kids differently at different stages in life. If your child is young, say before 2nd grade they won't remember much of the old house, maybe a little.
If you have a teen in the house it will be devastating, so they feel.
Our worst two moves for the children were the one this summer, my daughter is a junior this year, And the one prior, to this one, 4 years ago when my son was a senior. Talk about ruiniing his life!!! So he said.
We re military and have moved 7 times in 16 years, not as many times as other military families, but my son has been aware of all of them. My other ones can't remember the first couple moves they made.

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