Timing of Second Child

Here's a link to an article in Parenting magazine that may help: http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/0,19840,###-##...?

I agree with the article both as a parent of 2 boys that are 23 months apart as well as a child with a sibling wherein we are 3.5 years apart. As a personal opinion, I love the fact that I had my kids closer together than my brother and I were.

K.,

I have a 12 year old from my first marriage. When I had my second son with my loving husband of 5 years he was 7 going on 8 and it was tough for him. When we decided to go for #3, I happened to get pregnant the weekend my second child turned 2 and I am very happy about the time between the two. There is no competition and everyone gets attention. There is plenty of one on one time and for me it all worked out perfectly.

Hope this helps.

S.
SAHM of 3 boys 12, 4 and 2

Hey K.,
My suggestions are from observation only. I chose to wait, and now my daughter is 3 and we're just now starting for another child. I have friends that had them back to back and I have seen the worst and the best: depression, high anxiety, both in diapers doesn't look like fun, trauma to their bodies having the pregnancy so close to the other. But then I see their kids have an instant playmate, but they're both toddlers so its just one cries, then the other, and so on. I know in the long run it seems like the best but they always seem tired and run. My sister waited 5 years b/c her first came in their first year of marriage so she waited, but she LOVES it. They're both so different she's enjoying elementary age and baby stuff. She says she's a better mom b/c they're father apart. I waited for several reasons too, now my daughter's at an age that she can be a bit more patient than she would have been if she would have been 2 with a newborn, less, she can my little helper, and I liked the freedom of one for a while and now I feel ready to take on newbornhood again.
Hope that helps. Everyone has their opinions, I heard it for waiting too long, but you have to decide what you can handle, and what's good for your family/marriage.

Hi K.,
I would try having my next child soon...they say 2 year gap is good. They will both grow up and go to school together. I have a 4.5 month old...and will probably wait unitl she's about 1 years old to have another and then I am done. I figure going the the diaper, formula, sleepless night period at the same time and get it over with. Anyhow, you'll know when you're ready for another. Anyhow, about that business to work from home...sounds unteresting. Tell me more.

K.,

I had my two children a year and one week apart. I was so excited to give my son a play mate and hubby was excited at the idea of having them both out of the house by retirement.

I am now excited about getting a body back (despite stretch marks and excess skin) and never being pregnant again.

If you know you want another, I think now is a good time for you. They will be less than three years apart which will make them close as anything more than three years is two different worlds in my opinion. (My sister and I were 3 years apart and we just were never in the same place even though I desperatly tried to fit in with her.)

Your daughter will be roughly 2 1/2 when the baby is born which is the perfect, "mommy's little helper" age. My son tried to change his sisters diaper this evening. He gets her blankets and milk.. ect. He wants to take care of her because that is the age of a 2 1/2 year old.

The further apart I think the worse off because once your daugter starts school, she may even get jelous of the time you will have to spend with the new baby when she gets home from her long day and she may feel left out. Rejection or competition is a dangerous emotion for children.

I hope I've helped you in some way. If you're still really not sure, pray about it. You'll know when the time is right, He'll tell you.

J.

my boys are exactly 3 years apart & I love it!

Hi! My daughter turned 2 this past November and my son was born January 17th. I have had absoulutly no problems!!! My daughter was excited from the day we found out I was pregnant, she would even run over and talk to and kiss my belly when she would see a baby on tv, she also began telling him to "come out soon!!"! At two she is such a big helper, she throws away diapers, puts the bottles in the sink, rocks the baby's carseat or swing to stop him from crying while I make a bottle, etc. She LOVES her brother!!! We have had No jealousy issues, and trust me she was soooooo spoiled w/ attention before he came soo... But it's been perfect!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

K.

Hi K., I have 2 girls and they are exactly 20 months apart. I love it and wish my husband and I would agree on a 3rd. I was an only child with an adopted sister 10 years older; it was very hard. I have to agree with the other mommies that you have to do what you and your husband feel is right for you two. It is truly how you raise your children and being that you have some great knowledge in child development; You'll be fine. Best of Luck to you and your family.
Cassandra

Hi K.

I got pregnant with our second child 2 weeks before my older son turned 2 years old. We had been trying for months. The age difference is a little over 2.5 years and its perfect for us. They get along great.

We wanted to keep them fairly close in age so they'd play togeather and be good friends. I think sometimes if you have them years appart, the older child isnt as intrested in the younger one...when they are older, teenagers etc. Would you want a little 6 year old coming in bothering you when you are say 11.

Thats just my opinion, not that it really matters! You will do what's best for you and your family

D.

My daughter will be 25 months old when our second is born in December. I identified with your concerns in your email right away when I read it. Our firstborn is a very easygoing child... after we did get pregnant the 2nd time, I wondered "What am I doing tempting fate like this?" LOL We went for it anyway!

T. B.
Mom to Katelyn, 19 months
EDD 12/07/07

Thank you so much for your information ,but i would like for you to send me some information on the great website that you are talking about.youcan email me at ____@____.com or call me at ###-###-####.
Thank you.
G..

K., it's really about when you're ready. I have 3 kids each 23 months apart. It is very challenging, but I woulnd't have it any other way, Now we can get the baby phase done and as the kids get older together we can enjoy vacations and things like that. My mom, however had me and my brother and sister 7 and six years apart. So my mom is now a grandmother to my kids and still has a teenager at home, that's a stretch. I was the oldest and able t6o help mom out a lot with my siblings where my kids are still too young to really do that. I will say that my sister and brother and I are VERY close. So it's all about how you raise your kids.
I know this doesn't help much, but the bottom line is, you have to do what's right for YOUR FAMILY. Best luck to you!

Hi K.,

It really depends on you and your husband. I can tell you by experience it was nice having a sibling in your school for those tough times, but it was also aggrivating. The pro's and con's are more about what is important to you two. I remember thinking a year ago, well we missed the two year difference, with our child. I admit I a bit down from that, but now that everything is in order, we can try again. Anyway, good luck! Jen

My children are 5.5 yrs apart. I definitely think that is too far. I would recommend waiting at least until after your first turns two. Two is a lot more work than 17 months. If I could do it all again, I would start trying when my oldest was just about three, maybe 2.5. I think 3-4 yrs a part would be perfect. One is out of diapers, somewhat self sufficient, but they would still be close enough in age. My cousin has 2 that are 18 months apart and she has it way rougher than I do. Also they are always competing for attention. Also, another thing I took into consideration was college costs back to back, cars, insurance etc. I didn't want to have to have double of everything.

Hi K.,

There really is no magical number when it comes to the right amount of time between kids. I have 3 kids 11.5 yrs, 4 yrs and 11 wks old. Yes there is a BIG gap between the first and second but that wasn't totally planned. We knew we wanted a few years apart and then it took us over 2.5 yrs to get pregnant, which shocked me since the first time happened right away and then our 3rd time happened right away also. My 2 oldest are best buds, though they are 7.5 yrs apart and he has always been a great help with his brother and now his sister. I'm sure it's great to have them closer in age but for us this is what works and you should look at your situation and decide what is best for you and your family. Good luck.

Mel s.

I would love to hear more about this great work at home oppurtunity you are talking about. My email is ____@____.com