M.L.
Wow, what a busy household! I am also a single mother with a 9 year old daughter. We sit down every Friday night and plan out our week's menu (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). This way my daughter gets to give input and I know that she will eat what is served. My daughter packs her own lunch on most days. The night before, we put what she is going to have for lunch on the right hand side of the middle shelf. That way there is no mystery. Occasionally, she'll even offer to pack my lunch! Beyond that, we have a dry erase calendar on the frig. to help us visually see when we have nights where we can relax and what nights will be hectic (which means planning ahead to get homework and projects done). Finally, we have a smaller dry erase board that covers chores. I am one person, but together my daughter and I are a family unit. I've expressed the need for her to begin learning life skills. She doesn't do it all, but I expect her to contribute and be a productive member of our family.
I hope this helps. May God bless you and your family!
M.